- Graduation
- Tulips & Trust
- Happy New Year
- Is that even true?
- This Isn't New
- Moving, Tumult, Settling In
- Crave
- Personal Journal on Femme Desire and Nonmonogamy
- Your regular life continues after this brief interruption
- Stepdown Video: "So How Was Your Title Year?"
- Ostara: Happy Spring
- Stepping Down
- Visiting Glacier Ice Caves (Photos)
- Leather Community During a Pandemic
- Survival Tools for a Pandemic
- Future Vision, But Make It Queer
- There Are Gifts In the Dark. Happy Solstice
- Further Adventures in Photos
- I Said Hey, What's Going On
- Sex Rituals During COVID Times & Revisiting the BDSM Checklist
- I vote in every election because ...
- Sheltering in September
- leaping into something new
- And What A Celebration It Was
- Welcome
- On Stepping Away From M/s Language
- why write about sex during times like this
- Sheltering 1: Things I Have Learned
- Hello, It Is Spring, Let's Bloom (Playlist)
- Looking at a Title Year
- Rest Is Important, You're Right It Isn't Fair, and Other Things I Need To Hear Right Now
- Some Notes That May Turn Into A Sex Manifesto
- Countdown: Seven
- On Receiving a Full Scholarship to College, Twenty Years Later
- I'm Still Not Tired of Your Company, aka A Valentine
- Six Weeks Out
- A Bullet-Point Decade
- What Got Me Through the Worst of It
- I'm Struggling with Thanksgiving
- Striking Evolution
- Harvest weekend photo essay, and congratulations Ms Sacramento Leather 2019!
- Just personal things. Hi.
- These Eight Years
- On Inheriting Leather
- Writing About D/s Online
- Disrupt the Cycle
- Two
- Spirolic Breaking
- Under Water
- On the Verge
- integrating the past
- Making Your Strap-On Part of Your Body
- I Want to Tell You
- Trauma Is Your Teacher
- Things I Didn't Know I Didn't Know, Part Two
- wake up
- untitled journal entry about shock and other things
- Forgiveness
- Things I Didn't Know I Didn't Know: Part One
- The Mystical and The Profane
- Kintsugi
- persuasion & gaslighting
- knife of wands
- purple
- four: mental power
- stalking prey
- thirty nine
- getting back to discipline
- oracle cards
- sitting with it
- "the most favorable of cards"
- please tell me
- A Ten Year Retrospective: Portraits by Bill Wadman
- study: the first time I felt
- this is what she told me to say
- an exercise in courage
- family portrait
- #metoo
- "BDSM educator leader lecture"
- ten years
- for giving
- sixteen things
- ice cream & whiskey, see you in December
- We got married.
- "Even between the closest people infinite distances exist."
- give up
- nonline
- high vs low
- like a redwood tree
- rose
- Dear President Obama
- "Your idols are dead and your enemies are in power."
- new, new, new
- November was a fuck of a month, wasn't it?
- unapologetic demanding dominance
- three months
- diagnosis & meds
- strong little room
- green-eyed monster
- learning to stop leaning
- something new every day
- the contract amendment
- couple's therapy #1
- resolve
- "I wish I could show you ... the astonishing light of your own being."
- Collaring Ceremony, Guest Post from rife
- A Little Note About Father's Day
- This week in photos: porn, pancakes, and green things.
- Two Weeks Ago in photos: California staycation
- The Identity Project: "Butch daddy poet" and "Genderqueer leather boy"
- From the archives: The most holy things I do
- April in photos, part two: IMsL, green hills hike, and some personal moments
- This month in photos, part one: in which I turn 35 and visit Seattle
- Happy Birthday, rife!
- Vulnerability is a challenge
- This week in photos: That green spring color
- This week in photos: Playing tourist in SF
- "And bowing not knowing to what"
- When I'm getting off
- This week in photos: Yosemite & back
- This week in photos: Snow, mostly
- This week in photos: freakish Bay Area winter
- The Threat of Folding In
- Fragments
- Hole Hunger
- Coming Out Genderqueer: An Open Letter to My Family & Friends
- Video: Sinclair reads Five Blow Jobs (And oh yeah, hi)
- I want more.
- Making Peace: in which I (attempt to) explain what happened over these last eighteen months
- Making Peace #19
- Two years with Rife
- Making Peace #17
- Making Peace #16
- Making Peace #13
- Making Peace #12
- Making Peace #11
- Making Peace #10
- I quit.
- Making Peace #7
- Making Peace #6
- Making Peace #5
- Making Peace #4
- Making Peace #3
- The end of the great northern road trip (aka the end of last month in photos)
- Making Peace #2
- Making Peace #1
- It's all still disorienting
- Late July in photos: Albuquerque & Jemez travels
- Gaping Yawp
- The biggest holiday (and the last few days) in Juneau (aka last week in pictures part one)
- The fields of wildflowers were stunning. (aka This week in photos part two)
- Mostly? The beach (aka this week in pictures)
- Little hometown adventures: Hiking, whale watching, beer tasting (aka this week in pictures)
- The first week in Juneau and the Northern Exposure kink conference in Anchorage (aka this week in pictures)
- Northern Exposure Kink Conference in Anchorage, AK! And: Judging the International Ms. Leather Contest
- I ran over a robin
- Camping through BC & the arrival in Alaska (aka This Week In Pictures)
- After three states, a pause in Seattle. Now, on to the great Alaska highway (aka this week in pictures)
- Exciting things from last week! and also, ALASKA OR BUST!
- On Stabilizing and Transformation
- Stardust and Sunshine, Sundust and Starshine
- Transformational experiences and why I'm not in New York this weekend
- Shadow Comforts
- Let's have some shots of joy, shall we?
- A little more of the truth
- Rife's Bow Tie Birthday Party
- Seven years ago, I started this project named Sugarbutch
- Knowland, Oakland
- Closer.
- Trans Women Belong at Smith, BUTCH: Not Like the Other Girls, and Lots of Other Things To Tell You About
- Carrie's Story, Slow Surrender, and Other Things I've Been Devouring To Distract Myself
- Back on the Path
- What Dyke Looks Like: Photographer Kristy Boyce is Visiting NYC
- Inner Emotional Landscapes and the Sublimity of the West
- Lifting: a little update on me, Kristen, poly, and grief
- One Year with Rife
- Thanksgiving in Texas
- Everything Is Different Now
- Being with the hurt
- So Then There Was A Hurricane
- Grief. Also, Trying to Find My Awesome Place
- Love Letter #26
- Love Letter #25
- Love Letter #24
- The Femme Conference in Photos
- See You At the Femme Conference
- Love Letter #23
- Flying
- Love Letter #22
- On Bruises and Lasting Marks, Guest Post by Kristen
- Love Letter #21
- Love Letter #20
- Happy 29th Birthday, Kristen
- Love Letter #19
- Love Letter #18
- Love Letter #17
- Love Letter #16
- Love Letter #15
- Love Letter #14
- Love Letter #13
- Love Letter #12
- On Opening Up My Relationship with Kristen
- Love Letter #11
- A (Tragic) Beautiful Day
- Love Letter #10
- My Dad, 1951-2012
- Love Letter #9
- Love Letter #8
- Love Letter #7
- Love Letter #6
- Love Letter #5
- Love Letter #4
- A Hot Ride: Lovesong Playlist for Kristen
- Love Letter #3
- Open Thread: Empowering Femme Sources Needed
- Love Letter #2
- Love Letter #1
- With Expansion Comes Contraction
- Body Hair, Pronouns, and Other Personal Gender Things I'm Figuring Out
- Third Anniversary (Bonus Photo)
- Happy Third Anniversary, Kristen
- Um So Hi.
- Dear West Coast, See You Soon
- On Topping and Taking What I Want
- Getting My Feet Under Me
- My Business With God
- So Then There Was That Time I Left My Dick In the Laundry ...
- On Cheryl's Birthday, Femme Earrings, and Social Media
- Mentor Series: Tara Hardy & Her New Book, Bring Down the Chandeliers
- "With My Brothers Standing By"
- Expansion & Contraction
- On Erotic Energy Retreat (Again)
- What I Read (For Cheryl)
- Living Gender
- Cheryl B.
- Piercing, Waxing, & Other Body Modifications as Sex Toys
- Ask Me Anything: Does Your Family Read Your Blog?
- Happy 28th Birthday, Kristen!
- Returning from the Power, Surrender, and Intimacy Retreat
- "The Champion Within"
- I've returned from the Midwest!
- Where Did the Week Go?
- Direction, Part Two
- The Struggle for Growth
- More Mindfulness
- Direction
- There Were Actually Two Porn Parties This Week ...
- Using D/s to Address Connection & Power
- On Running Away and Boundaries
- Day After
- Building & Rebuilding
- Dry March
- This Is ... It?
- “I Want To Be Fearless”
- What Roses on Valentine's Day Are For
- Household Changes
- Getting My Cock Pierced
- So, Hi. I'm Back.
- A Queer, Divine Dissatisfaction
- Anniversary Cufflinks
- Second Anniversary
- Butches with Cute Animals
- Responsibilities to Ourselves and Others
- “So, What Happened?”
- My Rocks Need A New Home
- Here is a story / to break your heart.
- Stone: Occam’s Razor
- The Retreat
- Upon Return & Porn Party
- I'm Off to the Desert
- A Brief Period of Sobriety
- Stories from My Youth
- It’s Official
- Things I’m Doing
- I've Returned From the Rainy Pacific Northwest!
- Oh, hi there
- "Be a good girl and you can have all the birthday treats you deserve ... "
- Train Fantasy
- Happy 27th Birthday, Kristen!
- Spring Cleaning: Needing Sex and Space
- Is That 6" On Your Arm, Or Are You Just ... ?
- How Do I Let Go of a Past Hurt?
- Love Letter #4 (Growing Pains)
- Consent Obsession
- My Hands Are My Heart (Valentine's Day)
- Articulating What I Need When I Need It
- Kristen’s Homework: Will Return Soon
- Occasional Effects of D/s
- Kristen’s Homework: At the End of the Year
- Kristen's Homework: Holiday Version
- Kristen’s Homework
- Year One With Kristen (Happy Anniversary)
- Sometimes, I will never catch up ...
- Inner Kingdom
- Define: Sovereignty
- The Risk it Takes to Blossom: Summer Into Fall
- A Thousand Kisses
- Kristen’s Birthday Weekend
- Happy birthday, Kristen!
- Becoming more myself
- Bruises
- Holding Back
- Breath of fire
- Great Doubt, Great Awakening
- uncovering personal insecurities
- hacking my brain
- image, exposed
- Announcing, at last, that it is fall
- when waitresses are kinky
- upon returning, a small complaint
- universe to Sinclair: high five
- How do you survive falling in love with people who ravage you? (part two)
- How do you survive falling in love with people who ravage you? *
- blackberry
- femme conference roundup, & links
- new place, new learning
- moving backward, moving forward
- what happened with Penny
- in praise of femmes: fishnets
- my issues + her issues
- sympathy vs skepticism
- this place of mild panic
- how suave I really am
- radio show aftermath
- free falling instead of bracing myself
- such a beautiful submissive impulse
- falling in love is still cheating
- depth of variation
- declining politely
- Reflections on Exes
- tendencies
- revision
- occasionally practically
- the hurricane between us
- how much my heart can take
- busy practicalities
- tear you apart
- except when it does
- in which there is a hurdle
- under my radar
- we dance
- the hotel room (part three)
- oops! an open apology
- poll results: my ass is hers
- Things that happened Thursday:
- going down
- Do I pack daily?
- I like submitting, but that's a secret
- the stakes have been raised
- whatever you want
- a queer symbol, a pagan symbol
- gratitude from a new place
- white tee shirt & jeans
- anonymity and a writer's life
- a star on my wrist
- post-script on what I'm calling things
- learning to love the rituals of letting go
- why I can't ask her to change
- what do I do with all this heat?
- further workshop revelations
- workshop revelations
- how to do me right
- kink exploration vs bottoming
- a couple things to clarify
- is anyone ever really prepared?
- whet my appetite
- don't you know it
- officially seeking bottoms
- things I've never done, but would like to try
- this is my life
- there's a reason some things are cliche
- I did, and we did
- reset button
- stay focused
- continuing to purge
- vulnerability and simplicity
- oh so misunderstood
- how I continue to move on
- famous femmes I would fuck in a heartbeat
- sex with a boy?
- kiss & tell
- 4. the update on sex
- 3. the update on dating
- 2. the update on my personal character quest
- a study of my own character
- ready to take flight
- letting go
- getting ready
- a request
- "Lesbians found guilty ... "
- small update
- how deep the bruise goes
- pure possibility
- Fill in the blank
- things to brainstorm on the morning commute
- not yet
- note to self
- standing up
- exhaustion & the ex
- fashion crisis
- four years of photographs
- birds or boxing
- in no particular order
- sex and bleeding
- "a terrible New York story"
- postscript: about the apartment
- in which things begin, again
- lucky?
- needing the north star
- things will be different later
- falling falling falling through
- who am I to talk of love?
- my friends are smart
- have patience with everything unresolved in your heart
- sex is fiction
- the truth is:
- she's coming home
- drawing thicker lines
- delivered, unintentionally
- proving it vs giving up
- flight and migration
- when is it enough?
- revelations about myself
- fighting
- new rules for being me
- something has to change
- do I dare?
- she's gone
- ... it could have
- bed death, standard variety