journal entries

Happy Birthday, rife!

It’s rife’s 27th birthday today!

So far, we have stayed in bed late, toured the chalk art birthday greetings that I drew all over our sidewalks last night, had an epic “hash brown heaven” breakfast, looked over the composite astrological chart I had done (basically the astrological chart for our relationship) done by a queer dominant (so it includes a bunch of fascinating stuff about our power dynamic!), opened a few gifts, and returned home to do some work before we head down to the opening queer happy hour for International Ms. Leather weekend kink event & contest tonight.

Would you you wish him happy birthday over on twitter (he’s @rowdyferret) or here in this post for me? Mostly because I want him to know how deeply loved he is.

And, if you’re starting to get a little crush on this hot piece of ass, here’s a present for you: a little rife collage of some of my favorite photos of him from the past few years. Some are shots I’ve taken, some he took (with a timer).


There are so many different cities on this little collage … I see Oakland, Baltimore, Hudson Valley, NY, DC, LA, Houston, Seattle, Oregon, and Brooklyn at least. It definitely accurately reflects how much adventuring we’ve had even in the short two and a half years we’ve been together.

And, it reflects how damn sexy that boy is. Fuck. I feel really lucky to have him, that he chose me, that we are a good match.

If you’d like to do something else sweet for the birthday boy, go check out The GENDER Book’s store and buy some goodies! The ebook is a sliding scale of $0+, the hardback is $30, the posters are $12+, the GENDER Booklets are DIY free or $4 printed, the Safe(r) Spaces kit with resources and posters and etc are $0+. There must be somethin’ over there of interest! Check it out, & support his project and labor of love.

Oh yeah and also: The GENDER Book Release Parties!

If you’re in the Bay Area, there’s a book release party/shower on Sunday, May 4th, and if you’re near Houston, there’s another big release party on Thursday, May 15th. Perhaps you’d like to go pick up your book in person?

Happy birthday, beautiful special boy. I love you so much.

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

10 thoughts on “Happy Birthday, rife!”

  1. rife says:

    Thank you, Daddy.

    I feel so, so loved.

  2. Jan says:

    Happy Birthday, Rife! The pictures are wonderful; love and beauty threaded through nature.

  3. Avery says:

    Your love for one another glows – so amazing and sweet!

  4. CT says:

    How beautiful!! Many happy returns of the day!

  5. Jamie says:

    Happy birthday rife! I love the photo collage – what a cutie! And you guys are an adorable couple.

  6. Edison says:

    Happy birthday rife!! I hope you have a year full of amazingly wonderful experiences, great cigars, even better bourbon, the shiniest boots a boy can have and bucketloads of the hottest filth your heart desires! ;)

    Also… some of those pics in that collage… hot damn.

    Also also… I’ve really enjoyed watching you two and your relationship grow through the lens of Sugarbutch. As a butch, genderfluid Leatherboi/boy with a GQ partner that often sits on the masculine side of things, it’s nice, really fucking nice, to see another queer, MOC couple being happy and growing together. Just sayin’.

  7. TJ says:

    Happy Birthday, Rife!!!

  8. Quinn says:

    I love these pictures!

    Happy birthday!
    But not to steal your thunder but mine is 4/26! Woo ho

  9. Claire says:

    Happy birthday rife!!! Really cute pictures, and congratulations on the GENDER book release :) You both are such a beautiful pairing, and it has been a delight to share in parts of that through this blog. Wishing you lots of laughter and love in the year to come.

  10. Packlyn says:

    Happy Birthday rife!!

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