Hey! I’m Sinclair. Welcome to Sugarbutch Chronicles

This is the personal online writing project of Sinclair Sexsmith, strap-on expert, feminist dominant, identity theorist, and poet.

Here you will find writings from my personal and professional musings since 2006. This site chronicles my process of leaving a “bed death” relationship, coming to a butch top identity, dating femmes and the butch/femme culture, coming in to my own cock confidence, evolving into a deeper dominance and increasing interest in power dynamics, and most recently moving from New York City to the San Francisco Bay Area’s Oakland.

Currently, I travel in the spring and fall to teach workshops all over the US, I write here on Sugarbutch and elsewhere, and I meet one-on-one with people to help them through their own sexuality experiments and gender puzzles.

 

Here’s some recent writing to get you started.

Dirty Stories

Daddy's Good Boy

Daddy’s Good Boy

Content warning: This story contains Daddy/boy play, rough sex, spanking, and some woo about energy. Proceed at your own risk.... more

The most holy things I do: From the unpublished dirty faggot archives

Protected: The most holy things I do: From the unpublished dirty faggot archives

Another piece from the archives of my correspondence and courtship with rife. There is some force play, rough blow jobs,... more

You're Fucking Mine: from the unpublished dirty faggot archives

You’re Fucking Mine: from the unpublished dirty faggot archives

From one of the early dates with the boy. The story contains some sensual knife play. This is how it began. Two... more

Essays

“I know I’m submissive. But where do I start?” aka “I just read Fifty Shades of Grey and I want THAT.”

1. Read a fucking book Read fiction, sure—Carrie's Story, The Marketplace series, Mr. Benson, The Leather Daddy and the Femme (these are... more

What you should know about privacy, secret identities, and kink communities

What you should know about privacy, secret identities, and kink communities

Welcome to the kink worlds of BDSM and reclaimed sluttiness and sex toys! I see you there in the wings,... more

To All the Tops Who Are Afraid to Make a Move

To All the Tops Who Are Afraid to Make a Move

One of my biggest challenges as a top—and as a feminist dominant, and as someone who is well versed in... more

Questions from readers, answered by me

Bored Kinkster Blues

Bored Kinkster Blues

You’ve been an out and proud kinkster—a submissive, let’s say—for years and years. You’ve done all the things. You’ve tried... more

Ask Mr. Sexsmith: I'm a sub, but my partner is not a dom. What do I do?

Ask Mr. Sexsmith: I’m a sub, but my partner is not a dom. What do I do?

This question comes from Marie: "My partner and I have come to a difficult place in our relationship. I have long... more

Ask Mr. Sexsmith: I struggle with my feminist beliefs and my bedroom preferences  ... help!

Ask Mr. Sexsmith: I struggle with my feminist beliefs and my bedroom preferences … help!

Dear Mr. Sexsmith, I am a strong, opinionated, sometimes bossy, lesbian. I have a huge passion for the empowerment, education... more

Most recent

Where I Come From

Where I Come From

1. mother of northern lights magic beacons that dance across the sky. me, four years old, eight years old, nine ten... more

The Girl in the Red Dress

The Girl in the Red Dress

This story is included in the forthcoming collection Sex Still Spoken Here, the Erotic Reading Circle anthology. At first I'm trying... more

Daddy's Good Boy

Daddy’s Good Boy

Content warning: This story contains Daddy/boy play, rough sex, spanking, and some woo about energy. Proceed at your own risk.... more