Hey! I’m Sinclair. Welcome to Sugarbutch Chronicles
This is the personal online writing project of Sinclair Sexsmith, feminist dominant, identity theorist, strap-on expert, and poet.
Here you will find writings from my personal and professional musings since 2006. This site chronicles my process of leaving a “bed death” relationship, coming to a butch top identity, dating femmes and the butch/femme culture, coming in to my own cock confidence, evolving into a deeper dominance and increasing interest in power dynamics, and most recently moving from New York City to the San Francisco Bay Area’s Oakland.
My not-so-secret goals are: to encourage everybody to have better sex, more confidence, and more fulfilling relationships.
I believe labels can be difficult and hurtful, but identity can be empowering and liberating. I think we all want to belong, to find our lineage, to be part of something bigger than ourselves. The tools I elaborate on within the writings of Sugarbutch are my best ideas for how I’ve reached my own identity places (fluid or not), and the best things I’ve used to come home to myself. Sometimes those tools are books, or music, or films; sometimes they are sex toys or schools of thought.
Currently, I travel in the spring and fall to teach workshops all over the US, I write here on Sugarbutch and elsewhere, and I meet one-on-one with people to help them through their own sexuality experiments and gender puzzles.
It is definitely true that I don't have investment in being seen and treated as male, but I DO have... more
Top Writings on Sugarbutch from 2013 In order, from most read to least, these are the writings on Sugarbutch from 2013.... more
Hi Ziggy— Sometimes the mundane and unsexy questions are the easiest to answer! I think I mentioned the course on Twitter/Instagram—it was... more
I have tried the Tomboi harness. I think it's better than the RodeoH in fabric and fit—the RodeoH is so... more
Dear Mr. Sexsmith, Ok, this is a really dumb question. When you clean silicone toys used during anal sex, do... more
Two of my greatest queer erotic embodiment / sacred sexuality teachers, Alex Jade and Lizz Randall, are facilitating workshops at... more