This has been such a difficult year for relationships.
Sir and I have been going through some stuff and decided it was time to take a “fearless relationship inventory.” So while we were off the grid camping at a cabin for two nights with no power or cell service, we sat down and asked each other questions back and forth, with a spirit of open hearted bravery.
I was thinking about how all the cells in your body are refreshed every 7 years. We’ve been together for over 9 years, so it seemed only right to pause and check in and see, since we’re new people, if we were still well suited for each other.
To be honest, it was a scary process to go through, not knowing what we’d find out. But now that we’re on the other side of it, it feels really good to know.
So, i thought the questions we came up with might be useful to others in a similar spot. Feel free to use them and share if you’d like (just make a note of where you found it).
Some tips to support your process:
- When you notice defensiveness come up, take a break.
- When you notice fear come up, take a break.
- Best if you can devote a couple days to this, with the fewest interruptions possible.
- If you’re poly, print multiple copies and do it with each of your partners.
- Turn off the wifi and hide your phones. :)