Hey! I’m Sinclair. Welcome to Sugarbutch Chronicles

This is the personal online writing project of Sinclair Sexsmith, strap-on expert, feminist dominant, identity theorist, and poet.

Here you will find writings from my personal and professional musings since 2006. This site chronicles my process of leaving a “bed death” relationship, coming to a butch top identity, dating femmes and the butch/femme culture, coming in to my own cock confidence, evolving into a deeper dominance and increasing interest in power dynamics, and most recently moving from New York City to the San Francisco Bay Area’s Oakland.

Currently, I travel in the spring and fall to teach workshops all over the US, I write here on Sugarbutch and elsewhere, and I meet one-on-one with people to help them through their own sexuality experiments and gender puzzles.

 

Here’s some recent writing to get you started.

Dirty Stories

I need you to take a little more for me.

I need you to take a little more for me.

Content warning: This story contains bondage and Daddy/boy language, with some language around force and ownership. Read it at your... more

Daddy's Good Boy

Daddy’s Good Boy

Content warning: This story contains Daddy/boy play, rough sex, spanking, and some woo about energy. Proceed at your own risk.... more

The most holy things I do: From the unpublished dirty faggot archives

Protected: The most holy things I do: From the unpublished dirty faggot archives

Another piece from the archives of my correspondence and courtship with rife. There is some force play, rough blow jobs,... more

Essays

Let’s Talk About Bleeding While Butch

Let’s Talk About Bleeding While Butch

I have always had very heavy periods. Lots of blood, serious cramps that vary from keeping me flat on my... more

“I know I’m submissive. But where do I start?” aka “I just read Fifty Shades of Grey and I want THAT.”

1. Read a fucking book Read fiction, sure—Carrie's Story, The Marketplace series, Mr. Benson, The Leather Daddy and the Femme (these are... more

What you should know about privacy, secret identities, and kink communities

What you should know about privacy, secret identities, and kink communities

Welcome to the kink worlds of BDSM and reclaimed sluttiness and sex toys! I see you there in the wings,... more

Questions from readers, answered by me

Is psychological kink play

Is psychological kink play “healthy”?

Recently, I've noticed quite a few questions—both in the Submissive Playground course and in the Ask Me Anything box—concerning kink,... more

Bored Kinkster Blues

Bored Kinkster Blues

You’ve been an out and proud kinkster—a submissive, let’s say—for years and years. You’ve done all the things. You’ve tried... more

Ask Mr. Sexsmith: I'm a sub, but my partner is not a dom. What do I do?

Ask Mr. Sexsmith: I’m a sub, but my partner is not a dom. What do I do?

This question comes from Marie: "My partner and I have come to a difficult place in our relationship. I have long... more

Most recent

Let’s Talk About Bleeding While Butch

Let’s Talk About Bleeding While Butch

I have always had very heavy periods. Lots of blood, serious cramps that vary from keeping me flat on my... more

Is psychological kink play

Is psychological kink play “healthy”?

Recently, I've noticed quite a few questions—both in the Submissive Playground course and in the Ask Me Anything box—concerning kink,... more

I need you to take a little more for me.

I need you to take a little more for me.

Content warning: This story contains bondage and Daddy/boy language, with some language around force and ownership. Read it at your... more