‘Owning Your Birthday Suit’ Workshop in Seattle This Thursday

Posted on February 14, 2012 in events | 1 Comment

If you're new here, you should know that this site contains BDSM, kink, gender explorations, and explicit queer sex. You may want to subscribe to my RSS feed, Twitter, Facebook, or not. This warning will self-destruct.

Butcher & I are teaching an embodiment workshop in Seattle this week particularly geared toward kinksters. It’s a great introduction to some of the embodied sexuality and sacred sexuality work that I’ve done with the Body Electric School for many years, and plus it’s just a fascinating experiment. Perhaps I’ll see you there?

Photo by Shilo McCabe (but we’re not actually as serious or mean as we look)

Owning Your Birthday Suit: Embodiment for Kinksters, Freaks, and Other Sexual Mathletes
with Sugarbutch & Butcher
The Center for Sex Positive Culture Annex
1602 15th Ave W., Seattle, WA
7:00pm, $20.
RSVP on Facebook

Kinky, poly, leather, sex-positive, and other outlaw folks often find it easy to explore sex, but it might still be hard to be present in our bodies, to feel the powerful connection between genitals, heart, and mind. Explore a variety of playful experiential exercises to increase embodiment while respecting stone sexualities and everyone’s boundaries. Learn some simple tools to feel erotic energy, build connection to your desires, and feel more alive and at home in your body. Experience the taboo power of sharing this exploration within community. These exercises are clothes-on and touch optional. Amy Butcher and Sinclair Sexsmith met at a tantra retreat three years ago and have worked together for deeper embodiment and gender liberation ever since. They both study erotic energy and write smut.

Protected: Love Letter #6

Posted on February 10, 2012 in Kristen | Enter your password to view comments.

Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica is Coming To Your Town … Spring Tour 2012

Posted on February 10, 2012 in events | 1 Comment

It’s happening! Say Please readings and bookings have begun. So far, I have two dates:

April 12 – New York City at Bluestockings
April 22 – Boston, venue TBA

And a few more in progress, to be scheduled ASAP:
March 27 or April 1 – San Francisco
May 1/2 – Portland
May 3/7 – Seattle

I still don’t have dates for these, but I want to make it here in April/May:
Chicago
Durham, NC
Atlanta

If you’re interested in reading or helping me to create a reading in your city, please let me know ASAP! The easiest way for me to ensure that I can make it (especially to those three cities I have yet to book) is to get a gig at a college which can actually pay me. If you’ve got any contacts in these cities, please let me know.

What’s Happening In February

Posted on February 9, 2012 in events | 2 Comments

Everything.

Everything is happening in February. I hope you are excited to come out and see me, because I am going to be everywhere doing all the readings and workshops!

Events with Mr. Sexsmith

Events in New York City (& Beyond) You Shouldn’t Miss

I’m booking gigs for the spring (February through May), and I’m aiming for Boston, Chicago, Atlanta, Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Durham, DC, and more. Want to bring me to your college or university or local bookstore or sex toy shop? I’d love to visit! Things that are important to know!

• My schedule is kept up on mrsexsmith.com/appearances
• If you’re interested in bringing me to your town or college, check out what S. Bear Bergman wrote: Bear’s Guide to Getting the Artists You Want. It’s got some great tips for how to fundraise and make an offer to bring the people you admire to come do some custom work just for you & your friends. (Hint, hint.)
• Download my 2011 workshop offerings in a PDF or my one sheet PDF or high res photos in my press kit
• Get in touch if you’re interested in booking me, you can contact me directly—mrsexsmith(at)gmail—or my booking company, PhinLi, at bookings(at)phinli.com.

Any events I missed? Add ‘em in the comments.

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Oh Hi! I’m Reading in NYC This Week

Posted on February 8, 2012 in events | 3 Comments

Hello Internet! I’m still here. I posted very little in January because I spent most of that month working on the Celebrating the Body Erotic for women workshop which happened this last week in New York City. It was beautiful and moving and intense and heart-wrenching and I might’ve seen a vision while we were doing one of the breathing exercises and it went incredibly well and I’m glad it’s over. It was very time consuming.

And now I’m gearing up for basically a full month of travel. It’ll probably mean I’m posting less this month, too. In fact, I’ve been so busy that I can’t even seem to finish the February calendar to post here! I have a lot of gigs this month—Columbia University in NYC, American in DC, Smith College in Northampton, the Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle—and I’m looking forward to them. I’ve been home since early December and I’m starting to get stir-crazy. I like that this little life I’ve been working on takes me other places. I love New York City (is that the first time I’ve said that? Possibly) but I can’t be here all the time. I start to feel so disconnected from the planet.

But I’m still kind of recovering from the workshop. All that energy work takes it out of me. Today, all I’d like to do is eat some dahl with spicy pickled mangoes and watch documentaries on the couch. I’ve given myself the last two days off, basically, to recover, and today it’s Back To Work time.

This week, before I go off to my travels, I’m doing two big readings in New York City. I haven’t really read poetry since Sideshow ended, and while I don’t have a ton of new poems to share, I am digging through my pieces and excited to get up and practice opening my heart on stage for a while. I love the Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 book so I’m looking forward to hearing more of those pieces out loud, and listening to some of the boys from Best Gay Erotica 2012 too. Plus, there will be a singles mixer! Come find a Valentine’s date.

I can’t seem to decide what to read tonight at the Queer Apple/Inspired Word event … I still have a few hours, so I’m gathering up the options. Looking over the poetry I’ve published here, there is certainly not too much that is recent. But I don’t mind dusting off some old pieces. Probably I’ll read the Butch Poem. Probably I’ll read The Right One. I’m not sure what else. Any requests?

Queer Apple: NYC GLBT Life in Poetry & Prose + Open Mic

The Inspired Word performance series is excited to present a new event that will become a regular part of our calendar, Queer Apple: NYC GLBT Life in Poetry & Prose, featuring some of this city’s best GLBT writers/performers – Sinclair Sexsmith, Christa Orth, Ocean Vuong, Samantha Barrow, Kestryl Cael Lowery, Kelli Dunham, Brandon Lacy Campos, and Jessica Halem. In addition, there will be a 12-slot open mic (4 minutes each slot) to bring your own GLBT experience to the party. Must be GLBT themed. A night of transcendence of words through narrative, poetry, and humor, hosted by Aimee Herman.

When: Wednesday, Feb. 8, 2012
Where: 116 (formerly The Gaslight Cafe)
116 MacDougal Street
(between Bleecker Street and Minetta Lane)
Downstairs Lounge
Manhattan, NY 10012
(212) 254-9996
(917) 703-1512
By subway, take the A, B, C, D, E, F to West 4th Street-Washington Square.

Doors open for sign-up @ 6:30pm
Show starts @ 7pm
Cover Charge: $10
RSVP on Facebook

Find a Valentine at the Best Erotica Reading

Need a valentine? Wear a heart if you’re single! Come hear some hot smut! Readers include: D.L. King, Ali Oh, Julia Noel Goldman, Anne Grip, James Earl Hardy and Greg Norris! More to come (so to speak).

7pm at Bluestockings Bookstore, Café, & Activist Center
172 Allen Street, New York, NY 10002
Lower East Side
RSVP on Facebook

In Best Lesbian Erotica 2012, women are looking for a little bit of everything: love, lust, and that special someone who brings both to bed. Lammy-nominated editor Kathleen Warnock and this year’s guest judge, acclaimed sex blogger Sinclair Sexsmith, have curated a collection that is waiting to lay bare your deepest desires. Best Gay Erotica 2012 captures the tension and raw energy of man-on-man desire in this collection of the hottest, freshest and most literary erotic fiction of the year. Editor Richard Labonté (and guest judge Larry Duplechan) share their tricks of the trade in this outstanding volume of craftsmanship and cockmanship.

Based in New York City, KATHLEEN WARNOCK is a playwright and editor whose work has appeared in several editions of Best Lesbian Erotica.

SINCLAIR SEXSMITH (mrsexsmith.com) runs the award-winning project Sugarbutch Chronicles at sugarbutch.net. Her work appears in Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme and Take Me There: Transgender and Genderqueer Erotica, among others. She is the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica.

What They Are Asking: A New Site for Sex Education

Posted on February 8, 2012 in PSA | 2 Comments

Clipped from: whattheyareasking.com (share this clip)

Megan Andelloux, who runs the Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health in Pawtucket, RI, and is one of my favorite sex educators, just launched a new project called What They Are Asking which features questions from students to sex educators, and some answers, too.

My “ask me anything” questions on Sugarbutch and advice column on SexIs Magazine has received quite a bit of feedback, so I know that y’all out there are looking for good, solid sex advice.

This project is a bit more 101 level than the things I usually focus on—butch and femme identity, radical masculinity, feminism and kink, topping and bottoming—but regardless, I’m looking forward to being part of this great selection of educators, which includes Buck Angel and Charlie Glickman, among others.

The press release:

Megan Andelloux, also known as “Oh Megan”, is proud to participate in a new project and website aimed at increasing awareness of the state of sexuality education in the United States, titled “What They Are Asking”. Born out of the experiences of adult sexuality educators, WTAA serves as a collective, community-driven response to the question, “Why do adults need sex education?” WTAA seeks to respond to important questions concerning the necessity of comprehensive sex education and highlights the ways that the United States’ lack of comprehensive sex education in youth leads to sexually misinformed adults.

First and foremost, the “What They Are Asking” web project involves the daily posting of three question cards, each featuring a question submitted anonymously during various adult sex education lectures and workshops throughout the country. These cards represent the vast multitude of concerns, issues, and questions adults have about sex and sexuality. According to Megan Andelloux, founder and director of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health and co-founder of WTAA, “Sharing [these questions] with a wider audience will let these authentic voices demonstrate the importance of our work as sexuality educators and the true need for quality, comprehensive sex education.”

The second component of WTAA is a fun, interactive educational component: viewers of WTAA will be able to vote on the question they would most like answered that week. Once the votes are tallied, a sexuality educator with relevant expertise will write or upload a video in response to the question with the most votes. The WTAA project will feature educators from many different components in the field of human sexuality, with specialties as gender, sexual medicine, relationships, self-esteem, and more.

Sexuality educators involved in “What They Are Asking” hope that this project will eventually go on to be used by policy makers to advocate for comprehensive sex education within both primary and secondary school systems.

Check it out: What They Are Asking.com

Protected: Love Letter #5

Posted on February 3, 2012 in Kristen | Enter your password to view comments.

B is for Beautiful Photos by Syd London

Posted on February 2, 2012 in photographs | No Comments

I’ve had this post sitting in my drafts folder for a week or so now, and I can’t figure out what to write to go along with Syd’s slideshow.

Syd’s collection of photos of Cheryl on Flickr

These are the photos from Cheryl’s memorial, B is for Beautiful, taken by Syd London, who is a dear friend of mine and who photographed me and Cheryl for Sideshow promotion, the first Sideshow, and the last Sideshow, as well as a few other significant shoots of Cheryl’s—like her lesbian headshaving ritual. So many, in fact, that Syd created an entire collection of Cheryl B. photo shoots on Flickr.

Emceeing the memorial was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I am so glad to have had some tantra and “holding space” training, because I totally cast a circle and grounded energy and did all of that. I wanted a container that could hold our grief, if even just for the afternoon. It was funny and fun and tragic and intense, just like Cheryl, and I think it was a really beautiful celebration of her life. Here’s what I read at the memorial.

Kelli submitted one of Syd’s shots to the New York Times “The Lives They Loved” series that is online and selectively printed in the NYT Magazine on Christmas annually, and submitted this shot of Cheryl, Kelli, Diana Cage, and me.

Kelli wrote:

When my partner Cheryl B was diagnosed with hodgkin’s disease last fall and was preparing for chemo that would cause her to lose her beautiful black hair, a friend suggested a “good ol’ fashioned lesbian headshaving ceremony.” We had friends over, made food, and shaved Cheryl’s head. There are many photos of Cheryl performing, engaged in political actions, organizing events. All these are important but I also want to remember her like this: loved, loving, happy, embracing the radical love of her chosen family and the queer (in a myriad of ways) community she had gathered around her.

If that’s not some radical infiltrating, I don’t know what is. And also, who else had photos of fishnets and cleavage? Amazing. Kelli tells the story about how she made the fact checker say “good ol’ fashioned lesbian headshaving ceremony” no less than four times:

Young fact checker dude: So, it says “when Cheryl became ill with hodgkins, her friends suggested a good old fashioned lesbian headshaving ceremony?”

Me: Oh I am sorry, my dog was barking, could you repeat that last part? (no dog had barked)

YFCD: Good old fashioned lesbian head shaving?

Me: Oh shit, you know how iPhones are, you cut out, could you repeat that again?

YFCD: Good old fashioned (sigh) lesbian head shaving.

Me: Oh I’m sorry, I still didn’t catch it.

YFCD: Good. Old. Fashioned. Lesbian. Head. Shaving.

Me: Oh yeah, of course. Yes.

I can see Cheryl rolling her eyes, too, so easily, at that she had to die in order to get into the New York Times—but I think she would’ve been very pleased about this little write-up. And I think she would like Syd’s collection of the beautiful photos of her, with her big love Kelli and with friends and fans and community, and I think she would have loved the memorial.

Miss you, Cheryl. Every day.

Protected: Love Letter #4

Posted on January 27, 2012 in Kristen | Enter your password to view comments.

A Hot Ride: Lovesong Playlist for Kristen

Posted on January 25, 2012 in Kristen | 2 Comments

So I’m one of those people that makes a lot of mixes. It used to be mixed tapes (where I’d elaborately write all the tracks out in different color pens), then CDs, and now it’s iTunes playlists. I’m constantly downloading (and paying for!) new music, constantly updating my current “what I’m listening to” playlist, wiping it clean and starting again with whatever tone I’m currently craving.

I finished this playlist in December, for Kristen. It’d been a while since I’d made her a mix, probably since A Thousand Kisses in 2009, though I’d made some others that I’d shared with her, they just weren’t specifically for her. This one, though, is.

I love that I can share it—you can stream it on 8tracks, though I don’t love that 8tracks won’t let you play it in order. So I’m also uploading it to sendspace, you can download the whole thing there (though you’ll have to put it into your own playlist in order, I still can’t figure out how to include the iTunes playlist file).

a hot ride from mrsexsmith on 8tracks.

Cover image, if you want to download it, is here. And now, the tracklist:

A HOT RIDE playlist & liner notes, December 2011

Starling – Tori Amos
Gotta start out with a bang, y’know?

Safe in Your Arms – Paula Cole
Because there’s nowhere safer.

Sugar Buzz – kd lang & the Siss Boom Bang
Can’t help but think of you when I hear this song. (Also I totally mistype ‘Sugarbutch’ when I write out the title, every time. Such finger memory.) It’s like the song was made for us.

She’s Got To Be – Amy Ray
Though Amy Ray has said it’s about reconciling with an inner girl as a butch, it’s also a romantic love song about femininity & masculinity

Rich Woman – Robert Plant & Allison Krauss
‘Daddy everything is alright.’ love the rolling bass. So sexy.

Forever – Ben Harper
“Not talking about a year, no not three or four / I don’t want that kind of forever in my life anymore.”

October – Rosie Thomas
“Make her a flower in late december when the sun is not shining on her.” “Take photographs of her on brooklyn streets on october.” Love the simplicity of this arrangement, and her sweet voice

Sweetness – The Waifs
“Music gets me in the mood / it kicks in and I sit back / and think of you,” and “you mean stuff to me.” Yeah.

On Your Arm – Schuyler Fisk
“You always felt like come / you knew my favourite song / I love the way you say my name / I love just about everything.” and it just gets better from there. I first found Schuyler because of her Paperweight duet with Joshua Radin, and her solo work is really excellent too.

Beautiful – Meshell Ndegeocello
One of my all-time favorite love songs.

Make a Name for Me And You – Rachel Cantu
It kind of sounds like a sad song, but the refrain is about making a name for ourselves, and as we’ve started to talk about that this song sticks to me. “I know your vices and those are your choices / and I want to be there for you.”

Somebody Loved – The Weepies
It’s kind of amazing to be somebody who is loved so deeply, so well.

Snow Cherries from France – Tori
I think of this when I travel sometimes. But now you know I’ll always bring back snow cherries.

Crystalised – The XX
“I’ve been down onto my knees / so don’t think that I’m pushing you away / and you just keep getting closer / when you’re the one that I’ve kept closest / go slow.”

The Sweets – The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Something about spinning and “how will you want something to hit” and “what’s your crime, what’s your crime” that has me growling and hot.

Only Girl in the World – Rihanna
I want you to feel like this, that you’re the only girl in the world for me, and especially when we’re together, that you’re the one I’m drawn to like a magnet. ‘I want you to love me like I’m a hot ride.’ Yeah. I do. But I want to make sure I show you that, too.

Fancy – Drake
It’ll just always be a song for you. Also can you believe he rhymes “concealer”? Impressive.

Sexy and I Know It – LMAO
Because you blush when this song comes on, and that makes me smile.

keep looking »

• Greetings!

  Photo by Bill Wadman
  I'm Sinclair Sexsmith, the kinky queer butch top behind this site. I'm a writer, storyteller, and performer who studies critical feminist & gender theory, sexual freedom, social change activism, archetypes, and the tantric and buddhist spiritual systems. I am currently based in New York City. More about me →
  
  Sugarbutch Chronicles is an online writing project (aka “blog”) which explores sovereignty, healing, and communication through the personal examinations of sex, gender, and relationships, while celebrating queer sexuality, gender, culture, and identity in ways that are expansive rather than restrictive, liberating rather than limiting.

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• My Work Elsewhere

  • Interview with Jack Halberstam on LambdaLiterary.org Wednesday, February 1, 2012
  • Mr. Sexsmith Says: Get Off While Strapped On on SexIs Magazine Wednesday, February 1, 2012
  • Mr. Sexsmith Says: Don’t Worry, Be Kinky on SexIs Magazine Thursday, January 19, 2012
  • Mr. Sexsmith Says: Bring Your Average-Size Cock, Just In Case on SexIs Magazine Wednesday, January 4, 2012
  • Mr. Sexsmith Says: She Likes My Butch Breasts and I Don’t on SexIs Magazine Wednesday, December 21, 2011

• Books my work is in

  • Afternoon Delight: Erotica for Couples
  • Best Lesbian Erotica 2006
  • Best Lesbian Erotica 2007
  • Best Lesbian Erotica 2009
  • Best Lesbian Erotica 2011
  • Best Lesbian Erotica 2012
  • Frenzy: 60 Stories of Sudden Sex
  • Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex
  • Love at First Sting: Sexy Tales of Erotic Restraint
  • Love Me Tender: Romantic Tales of Pleasure and Pain
  • Persistence: All Ways Butch And Femme
  • Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica
  • Secret Slaves: Erotic Stories of Bondage
  • Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch/Femme Erotica
  • Stripped Down: Lesbian Sex Stories
  • Take Me There: Trans & Genderqueer Erotica
  • The Harder She Comes: Butch Femme Erotica
  • Visible: A Femmethology Volume II

• Other Places I Write

  • AfterEllen
  • CarnalNation
  • Good Vibes Magazine
  • Lambda Literary Foundation
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