Hey! I’m Sinclair. This is Sugarbutch.

I’m a feminist dominant, identity theorist, strap-on expert, and poet.
Sugarbutch is my personal online writing project.

Here you will find writings from my personal and professional musings since 2006.

This site chronicles my process of leaving a “bed death” relationship, coming to a butch top identity; dating femmes and the butch/femme culture; coming in to my own cock confidence; evolving into a deeper dominance and increasing interest in power dynamics; spirit, energy, and embodiment; teaching and traveling to facilitate workshops; and, since 2013, settling in San Francisco Bay Area’s Oakland.

Sugarbutch is my full-time job. I write here on Sugarbutch, elsewhere online, and sometimes my stories and essays are in books, I travel in the spring and fall to teach workshops all over the US, and I meet one-on-one with people to help them through their own sexuality experiments and gender puzzles.

I like the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself when referring to me in the third person.

Want to know some more about me?

 

Here’s some recent writing to get you started.

Dirty Stories

From the Dirty Faggot Archives: Sexting

From the Dirty Faggot Archives: Sexting

Content warning: Dirty queer faggoty genderqueer trans sex, including lots of Daddy and boy references, some vague force and coercion,... more

Leather: A Dirty Story in Photos

Leather: A Dirty Story in Photos

A few weeks ago, photographer Shilo McCabe came over to take some shots of rife and me in our "natural... more

I need you to take a little more for me.

I need you to take a little more for me.

Content warning: This story contains bondage and Daddy/boy language, with some language around force and ownership. Read it at your... more

Essays

Long Live the Butch: Leslie Feinberg & the Trans Day of Remembrance

Long Live the Butch: Leslie Feinberg & the Trans Day of Remembrance

I sit in shock at my desk, though I knew it was coming, knew Leslie Feinberg was sick, and know... more

The Four Topping Stages

The Four Topping Stages

hen I started topping, I was self-conscious, nervous, easily crushed, and full of bravado and swagger. (I'd like to think... more

On Gender Perception, or: Break Your Eyes Open to Genderqueers

On Gender Perception, or: Break Your Eyes Open to Genderqueers

For a little more than three years, I’ve been using they/them/theirs/themself pronouns. Notice that I’m avoiding saying that I “prefer”... more

Questions from readers, answered by me

Dear Tops: Say Thank You

Dear Tops: Say Thank You

Dear tops, When someone corrects your technique while fucking, set your ego aside and say thank you. Thanks for telling me. Thanks... more

Is psychological kink play

Is psychological kink play “healthy”?

Recently, I've noticed quite a few questions—both in the Submissive Playground course and in the Ask Me Anything box—concerning kink,... more

Bored Kinkster Blues

Bored Kinkster Blues

You’ve been an out and proud kinkster—a submissive, let’s say—for years and years. You’ve done all the things. You’ve tried... more

Most recent

Long Live the Butch: Leslie Feinberg & the Trans Day of Remembrance

Long Live the Butch: Leslie Feinberg & the Trans Day of Remembrance

I sit in shock at my desk, though I knew it was coming, knew Leslie Feinberg was sick, and know... more

From the Dirty Faggot Archives: Sexting

From the Dirty Faggot Archives: Sexting

Content warning: Dirty queer faggoty genderqueer trans sex, including lots of Daddy and boy references, some vague force and coercion,... more

The Collaring Ceremony

Protected: The Collaring Ceremony

When I moved to the Bay Area and in with rife in April 2013, one of the first things we... more