Ad: Bride of Sin, Madison Young
Featured this month at Sugarbutch’s Video On Demand: Madison Young’s Bride of Sin 2009 Feminist Porn Award Nominee. Madison Young is looking for one last…
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Define: Sovereignty
A few weeks ago, Miss Calico tweeted about the craziest thing in her feedreader. For obvious reasons, neither she nor I would call most of…
Definitions of Butch & Femme
Way back in April, for Sugarbutch’s third anniversary, I offered up an “ask me anything” thread where readers could ask any burning questions that they’d…
On Getting Girls Off
There’s something I want to clear up, especially for those folks who have only been reading Sugarbutch for the last eight or so months that…
Masturbation is Great! (Review: Off With Your Head Hitachi attachment)
As of 2/8/16 This product is no longer available at Babeland You know what sucks? Not getting off. And I really didn’t realize how often…
Blowfish Giveaway: Two DVDs
Blowfish is simply “good products for great sex,” and they are the producers of some of the best queer porn and experimental sexuality DVDs currently…
Review: Hard Love & How to Fuck in High Heels (DVD)
As of 2/8/16 This product is no longer available at Babeland This was absolutely the first butch/femme porn I ever saw, and it blew my…
2010 Sex Blogger Calendar Outtakes
The 2010 New York City Sex Blogger Calendar is well underway! If you don’t follow me on twitter (or follow the calendar itself on twitter)…
How To Begin Playing with BDSM
Recently, this came into my inbox: I’m in a relationship now with a wonderful person and I’m really intrigued and turned on by BDSM, but…
“Can I come? Please?”
Kristen gets off easily. When we were discussing it last night, she said there’s a point after we’ve been fucking for a bit where she…
Pleasurists #36: includes “The New Big Cock”
Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the…
Power, and a Pure Wand
When things get a little out of control in my life, I crave power sexually. Crave that rush that I get when someone’s body struggles…
Review: Randy, The New Big Cock
I had to change o-rings for this one. Thick and dense and contoured and completely stiff, unlike the squeezable Bandit that she’d been sucking off…
Top Hot Butches 2009 – official launch!
TopHotButches.com is live! Here it is, folks – the project we’ve been talking up on twitter for weeks now: Top Hot Butches 2009. I have…
Review: the Famous Fleshlight
This episode of fucking with gender is brought to you by Babeland, one of the most fabulous feminist, woman-friendly, gender-friendly, and queer-friendly sex toy stores,…
Label me, Genderstats
Hello My name is Mr. Sinclair Sexsmith My identity is academic, activist, BDSM, bookworm, buddhist, butch, compassionate, dominant, dyke, empowered, faggy, female-bodied, female-born, feminist, femme-fucking,…
Reading on Monday 6/8 in NYC – Carol’s in town!
I’ll be doing a reading – by which I mean, I’ll be reading, in person, some smut that I wrote – this coming Monday, and…
How do you get a dominant to dominate?
Unspeakable Axe interviewed me for his podcast Masochast a few weeks ago (I’ll let you know when the interview goes up), and one of the…
Hogtied.
Kristen sits on the edge of the bed. I kneel, take her calves in my hands, shackle the ankle cuffs on her one at a…
QEC: Call for homo photographs
Queer Eye Candy: Call for Submissions! “Queer Eye Candy is the on-line family photo album for the queer community.” – Geek Porn Girl “As a…
Review: Crash Pad 4 (DVD)
“This is another unmissable installment of the finest feminist lesbian porn series around.” First, I have to confess, I have completely misplaced the Crash Pad…
Cynthia & Chris: butch/femme couple engaged!
I’m a week late on this news (but what can I say, this isn’t a news blog): Cynthia Nixon announced last week at the New…
Let’s Get Gay Married!
I’ve been wanting to write a post about the changes in gay marriage legistlation that have been happening in the US lately. I’ve even started…
All Five Senses (Part 2)
When we last left our hero, she was checking her fly in a library after a femme got off right in front of her. “That…
Happy Anniversary, Tristan! (and butt plug review)
As of 2/8/16 This product is no longer available at Babeland Really, this is a review of the Tristan butt plug for one of my…
Holding Back
I’m restraining myself. Holding back. In so many ways that feel so unnatural, like stopping an object already in motion, changing trajectories when the path…
Soon-to-be Tricenarian
Tomorrow, April 3rd, is my 30th birthday. And I gotta say, I am WAY ready for it. Buh-bye to my ridiculously hard finding-myself 20s. My…
My slutty little girl.
Or, how her dirty talk got me off. Twice. In my bedroom. We both knew we only had a few hours until she would leave,…
New music from the lesbian staple
The Indigo Girls have a new album out on March 24th, Poseidon and the Bitter Bug. (What’s up with that title? I don’t get it.)…
Review: Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco
I’m not sure how it happened actually, but somewhere in the last few months I started updating my Twitter account with thoughts when I was…
Pleasurists #20
Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did…
Announcements: Three New Projects
I’ve got three new projects brewing, and they’re finally all just about ready for public launch. One: The ToySwap Network The idea started when I…
Cock Confidence and the KinkForAll Conference
I did my own presentation as well, and at the last minute called it COCK CONFIDENCE in a butch/femme context. I had some notes, but was also not feeling very well, and twenty minutes goes by so fast!, so I had a lot more to say about the subject that I didn’t get to. Here goes.
Come to KinkForAll on Sunday!
KinkForAll, a new unconference, is coming up this Sunday, March 8th, at the LGBT Community Center in NYC. I’ve been really looking forward to this and I think it’s going to be incredible.
What happened in January
I’m so behind on the roundups. I’ve been less focused on Sugarbutch in January and February because I’ve had some personal things going on, not the least of which is the new relationship with Kristen. Here’s what I wrote about on Sugarbutch in January 2009.
Review: Jaguar Harness
Everyone rants and raves about the Jaguar harness by Aslan Leather – and I get it, I do: the leather is beautiful, it’s incredibly well-made, it feels like a buttery second skin. It’s snug, it adjusts well and easily, stays in place, it feels pretty good to wear – I could keep going with the general praise. You might just love this harness, many people do. Personally, though, I just prefer one-strap harnesses, so I’m not crazy about this one.
Important Calls for Support: Home Alive & Scarleteen
I know there are dozens – hundreds – more organizations that also need support, but these two in particular are very dear and important to my heart, they’re community organizations that have provided so much help and support and information to underserved, underrepresented groups. SAVE HOME ALIVE is a grassroots effort to save a grassroots organization, Home Alive, out of Seattle. And Scarleteen, which I’ve linked to here often and hopefully you already know about, is a sex education and resource center aimed at teens.
Best Sex Toy Reviewers of 2008
The Best Sex Toy Reviewers list was published today, and on it, at #7, with a bullet, is yours truly. Thanks y’all! I’m glad the reviews that I do are useful for you. So … now that I’m writing about sex toy reviews, I have a few things to say before getting on to the list.
Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom & Autonomy #15
Welcome to the 15th Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom & Autonomy! I’m your host, Monsieur du Sexsmith, as we wander around the sex, feminist, queer, and gender blogospheres to bring you some amazing reading, writing, introspection, self-reflection, and inspiration on the subjects of sexual freedom and sexual autonomy.
What happened in December
I’m way behind on the end-of-the-year stuff. I want to do a 2009 roundup, too – that is, hopefully, coming. Meanwhile, here’s the roundup of what happened in December.
Review: Pink & White’s Champion
Queer porn director Shine Louise Houston’s new indy flick CHAMPION was released on DVD by Blowfish this week, and last night I sat down and turned it on. Watch this film. Buy it, and watch it, and tell your friends about it.
Call for Contributions: Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom & Autonomy
The Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy, edition #14 is up at Silent Porn Star, and Sugarbutch is hosting the next Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy, edition #15, here. That means, I am on the lookout for links about sexual freedom and autonomy. Email them to me to submit your site to the upcoming Carnival, which will be posted – here! – on Monday, January 26th. That gives you almost TWO WEEKS! to write something. Get crackin’!
Define: “butch in the streets, femme in the sheets”
I ran across the phrase “butch in the streets, femme in the sheets” (again) the other day, and it bothered me (again, still). So I started thinking: It generally means – and correct me if I’m wrong – that this supposed “butch in the streets,” once taken to bed, liked to or wanted to get fucked. This is operating on an identity alignment assumption: that butches are tops.
Catherine Opie Exhibit at the Guggenheim
I spent Sunday afternoon wandering through the Guggenheim, revisiting the exhibit of the Catherine Opie retrospective. I’m not sure how much of it I can really put into words, which is why I haven’t mentioned it yet, here – I’ve wanted to write up just how powerful it is to see images of queers hanging in a museum gallery. How powerful, but also how strange and revealing, how vulnerable. I stood in the portrait galleries, tears streaming down my face, reaching for my handkercheif, attempting not to notice the way that other galleryviewers were watching me interact with the photographs. Here is a sampling of some of the photograph series included in this amazing retrospective.
The two Crash Pad memberships go to …
Thanks, everybody, for commenting and starting this discussion about our favorite porn stars. I know it was a completely informal poll, but I may make up a list from it so we who are very unfamiliar with queer porn can do a bit more, ahem, “research” … You can always head over to Hot Movies For Her and download 20 minutes of hot queer porn!
Two Crash Pad Series Website Memberships – For You!
Oh, Crash Pad. Oh, Shine Louise Houston. How do I love thee, let me count the ways … What’s that? You’re not familiar with the original Crash Pad DVD, or the subsequent THREE DVDs of episodes compiled from the Crash Pad Series website? If only someone would give away a membership for the lonely, cold month of January! … Oh hey! That’s exactly what I’m going to do!
Define: Courtly
Back in September, I asked for a word for someone who accepts chivalry. We had a lively discussion in the comments about what that person would be called. I really like the word “courtly” – here’s why.
Shared Items – December 5, 2008
Links around the blogosphere for the week; what I’ve been reading, what has impressed me, great ideas, people in my community. Read & comment & show some love.
Letter to myself: enough moping
Dear Mr. Sexsmith: Enough moping already. In case you haven’t noticed, it is day three and Barack fucking Obama is still the presidential elect. Hello,…
Eye Candy: Rachel Maddow, again
If I do too many more posts about the bromance I’m having with Rachel Maddow, I’m going to have to put it under aspiring stud…