Label me, Genderstats

My name is
Mr. Sinclair Sexsmith
My identity is
academic, activist, BDSM, bookworm, buddhist, butch, compassionate, dominant, dyke, empowered, faggy, female-bodied, female-born, feminist, femme-fucking, femme-loving, Green, genderqueer, gentleman, guy, hippie, intentional, introvert, kinky, lesbian, lover, meditator, metrosexual, open, pervert, poet, prettyboy, pro-label, queer, reclamation, romantic, sacred whore, sadist, sadomasochist, service top, sexsmith, sir, stud, sugarbutch, tantra, theorist, top, transbutch, transmasculine, vegetarian, yogi, wordsmith, writer
What’s yours?

I ran into this Yay genderstats! fill-in-your-own-gender form from a Genderfork link a while ago, I think, but haven’t been able to find it again – I wanted to give the link to the folks at the Northwestern University in Chicago when I did the F*cking with Gender workshop but didn’t find the link. (I still have to write up the workshop notes and resources, which I’ve started, but haven’t finished. Coming, I swear!)

The description says “There are exactly 939 options here, and a total of 4.6469×10282 or 4.6 trenovemgintillion possible combinations, more than there are elementary particles in the universe.” Statistics for this project are also fascinating – 43% of the over 2,000 genderform labels generated included “female” or “intelligent,” but only 6% included “butch.” However, 12% included “femme” – twice as many as butch. Maybe if one added up ALL the femme-like words and ALL the transmasculine butch-like words, they’d be slightly more even, but I think it’s interesting comparing just those two words. More people included “submissive” (21%) than “bottom” (18%), but that claiming those words are more common than “top” (13%) or “dominant” (16%).

Interesting! I mean that’s not exactly a scientific study, but from my experience that is an accurate reflection of the queer communities.

Actually, recently I said I thought it was more common – from my experience only – to run into femmes who are tops, but I’m rethinking that now. (I think I just notice it in a different when a girl is a top, because it means we’re probably not compatible in bed.) Maybe it’s closer to 50/50.

Looking over the list of words, organized in alphabetical order and by frequency, I’m struck that though there are dozens (hundreds?) of words for gender, lots of things about religion and spirituality, lots of general terms for human emotional experiences, some for relationship orientation, but there are very little for class or race. Those things are highly influential to gender identities, too, and should be included, I think. I may just email the creator about that and suggest some additional sections or words.

Have you filled in your own gender/identity yet? I’m not sure my comments will let you paste the whole table into it and publish it accurately, but if you want to paste just the labels part into the comments, I’d be curious to see what other people list. Please share!

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

18 thoughts on “Label me, Genderstats”

  1. Siouxie_Suse says:

    Not sure if this code will work in the comments box (fingers crossed)… but filling out the checkboxes was an interesting experience. Having said on record that I love labels I did actually find the checkboxes kind of constraining… like, sure some of these labels kinda fit, but hell NO am I giving that much away! Agreed that more options around race and class would be good. Also, the "butch-fucking" (right underneath "femme-fucking") checkbox sucked for this femme bottom. So I checked "butch-loving" instead… hmmm… would be nice if there were another (less 70s sounding) option somewhere in there…


    I am

    academic, activist, BDSM, babygirl, blonde, bottom, butch-loving, dyke, femme, freak, gender subversive, kinky, masochist, pro-sex feminist, queer, sex positive, snuggly, submissive, XX

    Who are you?

  2. violet says:

    maybe the submissives just keep taking it again, and again, and again… :)

  3. Vintage_Femme says:

    I sat down with a cup of tea to do this and really reflect on me in terms of how I construct and perceive myself, it was really cool to sit and hold a mirror to myself in this way!

    I'm gonna get my girlfriend and anyone else I can to do it -its much more insightful that the list of 20 question emails I keep getting sent about what colour my toothbrush is etc!

    My labels:

    activist, assertive, BDSM, bitch, bottom, butch-fucking, butch-loving, caring, drag king, dyke, Pagan, european, feline, female-bodied, female-souled, feminist, femme, gender expressive, genderfuck, girlfriend, glittery, hard femme, inclusive, intelligent, kinky, Ms., mediator, minx, northen english, passionate, Socialist, sex positive, survivor, switch, top, understanding, vegetarian, witch, working class, writer,

  4. queerboi says:

    activist, assertive, bottom, butch-loving, drag king, effeminate, fabulous, fagdyke, female-bodied, feminist, gender fluid, grrl, homoflexible, human, intelligent, kinky, leftist, pansy, philosopher, pomosexual, prettyboy, pro-label, progressive, queer, radical, sex positive, shy, submissive, theorist, trans-loving, transfeminist, treehugger, twink


  5. MKK says:

    I am: androgynous, aunt, BDSM, bent, biogirl, bondage, bottom, bull dyke, bulldagger, butch, butch-fucking, butch-liking, butch-loving, butchdyke, chick, cisgender, congenital invert, crossdresser, curious, Democrat, daughter, dude, dyke, eccentric, effeminate, egalitarian, fag, fag hag, faggot, fangirl, female, female-bodied, female-born, freak, GLBT, gay, geek, genderqueer, genetic girl, genetic woman, gentleman, homoerotic, homosexual, kinky, knight, leather, leftist, liberal, libertarian, library dyke, little sister, Ms., male-souled, masochist, master, nelly, nerd, otter, pansy, pervert, pro-choice, queer, queer dyke, random, Socialist, sapphist, sir, sissy, socialist, stud, submissive, switch, transvestite, tribade, uranian, versatile, weird, wife, wimp, XX.

  6. violet says:


    admirer, big sister, bisexual, blushy, bondage, bottom, butch-loving, caring, cerebral, femme-loving, full of love, full-on, introvert, kinky, man-loving, masochist, nerd, northern english, observant, passionate, polyamorous, pro-sex feminist, queerly straight, quiz whore, right-brained, romantic, sadomasochist, same sex different gender oriented, sapiosexual, sapphist, sensitive, service submissive, soft femme, sparkly, straightly queer, tall, tap dancing, trustworthy, vanilla, wife, witty, woman-loving, yes please!

  7. Kelley O says:

    I am: ALWAYS!, animal lover, big sister, biogirl, bisexual, cat, cat lover, cute, Democrat, daddy’s grrl, daughter, female, female-bodied, flirt, gay-friendly, geek, genetic woman, girl lover, goddess, individual, intelligent, introvert, kinky, kitty, lover, open, polyamorous, polysexual, pro-choice, quiet, sex positive, sexy, submissive, unique, versatile, woman, XX

  8. Naomi says:

    Love this!

    I am: ally, babe, bitch, bottom, brunette, butch-fucking, butch-liking, butch-loving, diva, dyke, FTF, family, feminine, feminist, femme, flirt, full-time, gender euphoric, gender subversive, girly, glittery, grrl, high femme, kinky, leather, lesbian, library dyke, lovely, Ms., obsessed, powerful, queer, same sex different gender oriented, sex positive, slut, stealth, switch, teh gay, versatile, woman, YES!

  9. Gold says:

    Thanks for this, I was running out of ways to kill time at work. Now for the last 48 minutes…

    FTWTF? Oh, acronym humor.

    andro, androdyke, androgyne, androgynous, aunt, beautiful, boi, bottom, butch, butch-fucking, butch-loving, child, drag king, dyke, female, GLBTQIA, gender dysphoric, genderqueer, homo, introvert, kinky, leftist, lover, queer, queer dyke, shy, sir, submissive, transgender, uncle, XX

    I don't think 'uncle' fits, haha.

  10. Gold says:



    Wednesday, June 3, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    maybe the submissives just keep taking it again, and again, and again… :)

    Don't know how to quote text with this comment system, but I laughed out loud at that.

  11. Kim says:

    This is cool!

    ally, amorous, animal lover, BDSM, beautiful, big sister, biogirl, butch-fucking, butch-liking, butch-loving, chick, cisgender, complex, confused, daughter, dyke, female, femme, flirt, friend, gender liberationist, goddess, Green, heteroblivious, human, individual, intelligent, interested, kinky, lesbian, LGBTQI, liberal, library dyke, lover, masochist, monogamist, out, outspoken, passionate, privileged, pro-sex feminist, promiscuous, redhead, romantic, same sex different gender oriented, sapphist, sassy, sex positive, sexy, slut, socialist, student, submissive, survivor, switch, trans-amorous, treehugger, trustworthy, woman-loving

  12. Kim says:

    Hmmm… I have to say, I checked 'heteroblivious' because to me it seemed to refer to being oblivious of heterosexual culture, which I kind of think I am these days, despite having many straight friends. When they go on dates, I am simply bewildered by what they report has gone on – the strange, vague communication and bizarre, unconscious game-playing, etc. I just don't understand it. So I kind of think I'm heteroblivious. But then I thought it *could* mean a hetero person who is oblivious of other sexualities… which obviously is not me. Just so you know :-)

  13. Patience says:

    academic, ambiguous, autistic, bisexual, bitch, cat lover, creative, cute, dreamer, eccentric, feminist, geek, genderqueer, girl, ineffable, intelligent, introvert, kinky, leftist, library dyke, lovely, loving, nerd, oblivious, odd, passionate, peoplesexual, polycurious, princess, pro-choice, pro-gay, progressive, queer, quiet, quirky, quiz whore, redhead, romantic, sensitive, sex positive, switch, teh gay, undefined, weird, XY

  14. Hello
    My name is
    lady brett
    I am
    activist, admirer, bottom, butch-loving, classic, conservative, drag king, dyke, fanboy, feminist, femme, flirt, gender defender, gentleman, girl, hairy, happy, indecisive, interested, kinky, lady, little sister, lover, nerd, progressive, queer, sex positive, shy, slut, soft, southern, submissive, tomboy, tomboy femme, treehugger, woman-loving

    part of me likes the idea of letting this stand alone – i like the fact that no matter how many words i put in my label it will still be ambiguous. even so, i feel the need to point out that “conservative” is not! a political stance for me, only a personality trait. thanks

    also, i like that when it’s ordered you get fun little identity phrases – i’m becoming quite fond of “fanboy feminist femme flirt”

  15. Alexandra says:

    Here goes nothing… :)

    Alexandra Johnson is…

    ALWAYS!, activist, admirer, adult, ally, animal lover, artsy, ask me, aunt, BDSM, bbw, beautiful, biogirl, bitch, blogger, blonde, bondage, bouncy, butch-fucking, caring, chapstick lesbian, chick, child, cisgender woman, complex, confidant, counselor, creature, cuddly, daddy's grrl, daughter, dog lover, dork, drag hag, dreamer, eclectic, extrovert, FABGLITTER, faerie, fag hag, fat dyke, fat femme, fellagirly, female-assigned, feminist, femme-fucking, femme-ish, flirty, freak, friendly, full of love, geek, gender blender, gender euphoric, gender liberationist, girlfag, goddess, harpy, homoemotional, homoerotic, human, indecisive, kinky, LGBTQIA, leather, little sister, lover, loving, Miss, ma'am, me, multifacetted, myself, niece, nymphomaniac, open, pansexual, passionate, pervert, polyamorous, polysnuggler, pro-choice, pro-gay, pro-sex feminist, queer, queersexual, quiz whore, ren fest fag, romantic, SOFFA, Socialist, sacred whore, sassy, self-defined, sensitive, sex educator, sex positive, sex radical, shapeshifter, sir, switch, trampy, trannychaser, trans-friendly, trans-loving, transtheorist, treehugger, unique, versatile, voyeuristic, wench, whole-brained, witch, writer, XXXXX

  16. I was really indecisive. Some of them are kinda the same, should I select all of them? And just focused on gender and sexuality, let alone the other stuff.


    My name is


    My orientation is

    ALWAYS!, andro, androdyke, bisexual, butch-ish, butch-loving, chick with a dick, cisgender, cisgender girl, cisgender woman, dominant, dude, fag hag, female, female-identified, feminine, femme, femmy, gay, gender atypical, gentleman, girl, girly, lady, ma'am, miss, mistress, nymphomaniac, pansexual, pervert, platonic, polyamorous, polysexual, queer, sapiosexual, sex positive, sir, slut, switch, trannychaser, versatile, woman, XX

    What's yours?

  17. Eli says:

    activist, ally, ambiguous, andro, birl, boi, boy, boy with a vagina, boydyke, cat lover, complex, differently-gendered, effeminate, FTX, fabulous, fag, fagdyke, female-bodied, feminist, femmeboy, fluid, friendly, gay, gender outlaw, gender warrior, genderfuck, genderqueer, gentleman, human, nerd, open, other-gendered, out, pro-choice, queer, queer liberationist, quirky, radical, sex positive, sir, spiritual, survivor, switch, trannyboi, trannyfag, trans, trans entity, trans-loving, transboy, transfeminist, transgender, transmasculine, treehugger, trustworthy, Victor/Victoria, woman-loving, xxboy, YES!

  18. Essie says:


    My gender is…

    activist, ally, ambiguous, androdyke, androgynous, beautiful, big sister, blonde, boy lover, boy with boobs, bull dyke, bulldagger, butch-liking, chapstick lesbian, commie, confidant, daughter, drag king, drag queen, drama queen, faggy, FT?, fanboy, female-bodied, female-born, feminist, gender liberationist, gender neutral, gender outlaw, genderqueer, gentleman, hippie, knight, leftist, masculine, non-op, queer, theater fag, tranny, trannychaser, transbutch, treehugger, Victor/Victoria, wannabe

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