Crossdressing: Erotic Stories
Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
“Some people might call this a fantasy, but it’s my deepest truth.” - from “Temporary” by Tulsa Brown
Cleis is famous for their smart, sexy smut, and Rachel Kramer Bussel’s pansexual anthologies are quickly becoming a huge part of not only my personal smut library, but also most smut collections at bookstores - the girl is constantly producing anthologies full of interesting, new, and complicated stories that turn the reader on - sure, of course they do that, and damn, do they do that - but they do more than that: they’re edgy, intellecutal, and affirming.
Crossdressing is one of those anthologies.
It’s no secret that I have a bit of a gender fetish. I find the polarized categories of male-and-female fascinating, and I find it all the more enthralling and interesting to adopt the roles for sexual play.
The stories in this book do just that, in more ways than I could’ve imagined: a gold-star dyke wondering what it’d be like to be with a man, so her girlfriend surprises her in drag with a realistic cock packed underneath slender slacks. A girl who dresses her boyfriend up in drag, shaving his legs and sharing her clothes. A butch in a vintage evening-gown shop, who strikes a deal with the owner for a beautiful Marlene Deitrich tuxedo and eagerly shows it off on the town. A trans woman performer who ends up in the arms of a macho kitchen worker after a night of singing. A man at a business meeting secretly running the show by the power of his silky bra and panties underneath.
If you pick up this book strictly for stories to get you off, it might not quite be what you expect - specifically because of the pansexual array. Most folks I know don’t get turned on by just any depiction of gender or crossdressing, for example, and your particular orientation might get in the way of you enjoying many of these stories - I, for example, am not so turned on by the stories of male crossdressing, girls dressing up their boyfriends in drag, etc. But I loved reading those stories anyway, from a gender perspective.
Reading through these stories makes me think about my own experiences with crossdressing, though I don’t call it that - I call it part of my gender identity. It’s a wide range, of experiences and orentations and gender expression, and it’s interesting to read some other ways that people play with gender, play with costuming and clothing and all sorts of ways of expression.
Gender play is still unusual, and can be deeply empowering, and deeply threatening to those who don’t understand it. Violence against trans folks often comes under the guise of the “deception” of someone’s “real” gender, and violence against queers.
But, at it’s core, gender experimentation and presentation is all about connecting with and displaying aspects of our selves which are deeply personal and very real - it’s about being able to display a more accurate sense of self, a more comfortable way of moving through the world.
And we all want to be able to do that, right?
Maybe it sounds idealistic, but anthologies like Crossdressing actually make us genderqueer folks feel connected, and a little less alone. The complicated gender discussions are clearly part of the smut, of course - but they are also hidden under the guise of simply turning-you-on or getting-you-off, which, I hope, will prompt all the more folks to pick up this book, and perhaps widen their range of understanding about dressing up and playing with gender, in all sorts of ways.
Finally finished my review for Eden Fantasys of the Feeldoe stout double dildo … perhaps you would guess, but I’m actually not quite as impressed as I expected. It’s missing a) control b) precision c) did I mention control?
There’s just nothing sexy about wondering where my cock is going, how it’s behaving, what angle it’s at … even on the cocks that I know really well, I still often keep my hand on it (or under it, or next to it) in order to continue to feel precisely how and where it’s moving. For the same reasons, I keep my harnesses quite tight: much more control that way.
Still, on occasion, I could see the Feeldoe having a very welcome place in my tool box. Pulling it out on a lazy morning in bed, slipping it in and rolling her on top of me … yeah, I’ll have one of those, thanks.
Well, until that happens, I’ve got a few new products to review to keep me busy. Did I mention Eden just got some packing cocks? Aw yeah.
A small installment of what kept me busy surfing the net this weekend …
Yael Naim: New Soul (video) - “I’m a new soul / I came to this strange world / … Finding myself making every possible mistake.” It strikes me as quite appropriate for this gender exploration, and the social policing that means that our delicate gender identities take a while to fully form and solidify. See also: Yael’s cover of Britney Spears’s song Toxic - fantastic. I can’t say I know much about Britney in general, but like anyone who lives in the US, her songs are pretty much impossible to avoid, so I do know a little about her. Yael’s cover also reminds me of this cover of Britney’s new-ish single Gimme More, where suddenly I hear the lyrics in an entirely new way.
Can’t we call it cock? (article) by Diana Cage over on the OurChart blog about sex. Okay, so maybe I have a crush. I was on Diana’s radio show this week and she’s just so articulate and funny and fucken brilliant. (Of course, she’s taken, so I’ll be my chivalrous self and admire her from afar with boundaries.) After this article, you won’t be able to call it a “dildo” again without a firm Hobbit reference in your head.
Dungeon Beds (website & product for sale) - ohh my my. Secretly, I’ve always wanted a fancy four-poster bed, but I never quite envisioned one that wasn’t all girly and canopy-like. I can’t believe these. It never even occurred to me that something like this exists, but now that I know, I feel like it must be my goal in life to not only have one, but to have an adequate bedroom in which to house one. Wow.
I was reminded of the lovely cluster of sites I Feel Myself, I Touch Myself, I Shoot Myself, and Beautiful Agony. They aren’t exactly porn, even though they do feature people (mostly girls) getting off. They’re tasteful, erotic, real, sometimes so beautiful and raw that I get breathless. Watching one of the free previews on I Feel Myself: this girl is on the edge of a train car, gripping the metal of the door behind her, wearing thigh highs, cowboy boots, a thin slip of a dress, and a hat, with the trainyard in the background. It is gorgeous. It’s rare that I come across art that is made or written so well that I wish I’d done it, I get jealous of the artist’s very ability to create something so stunning.
Dyke Tees (sponsor & product for sale) is Sugarbutch’s first official sponsor - that means advertisement, yes. You’ve probably noticed that I’ve added some advertisements and affiliates over in the left sidebar. I’m doing this because I am spending a lot of time on SBC, and if I could somehow make some compensation, between that and freelance writing, perhaps I could eventually make even more time to work on it. I have more ideas for posts than I have time to write them out, many products to review, lots of smut stories I wish I’ve written up for you. So: Dyke Tees! Thanks for your sponsorship. They’ve got some good tee shirts over there, I’m particularly fond of the Good Girl design with the image of a girl bound by rope … the caption says, “it’s only kinky the first time.” Hah! I also like the winged heart design on the tee shirt Love Without Labels, but we all know I like labels, and think they can be incredibly celebratory, so I probably wouldn’t actually wear it.
I heart Brooklyn Girls, the femme pin-up calendar, has definitely been making the rounds around my parts, but I hadn’t seen I Love LDN Girls calendar until just today. Honestly I wasn’t too impressed with this year’s BG calendar - last year’s was so gorgeous, perhaps I just had high hopes.
But, thank heavens, my queer pinup faith is renewed with the LDN Girls calendar. Plus, there are some gorgeous butch/femme photos, some androgyny, some femme/femme shots, all of which are really stunning photographs. I’m ordering mine now.
One of the first things I thought, really, was, why the fuck does it have glitter and little hearts all over it? Doesn’t that seems a little ridiculous? Maybe it’s because generally I don’t buy vibrators (I have a few, ranging from a tiny Pocket Rocket to the grandmother of all vibrators, the Magic Wand, and honestly I don’t have any desire to add more to my arsenal of sex toys. Cocks, on the other hand … ) so I am unused to the stereotypical femininity of flowers and hearts.
Well, for that matter, why is this clit pump a vibrator?
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Shasta at Stiletto Diaries also has a review of this Vibrating Clitoral Pump, and her review was fairly negative - only one O out of a possible five. I suppose really it depends on what you’re looking to this clit pump for - if you want it as a sex toy, to aid in masturbation, it seems like there are quite a few superior things out there, I’m not sure why you’d want this. The vibration is semi-powerful, but the ring is made to go around your clit - maybe some people like that, but I tend to like things actually touching mine. When I’m getting off, that is.
But clit pumping … this little device has a particular purpose: to enhance bloodflow, and, ultimately, elongate the ligaments, in and surrounding your clit, making it - you guessed it - bigger.
When I went to Seattle in December, I came back in a mini-masculinity-crisis, perhaps you remember? One of the things that happened while I was there was that I got the updates from the trans conference Gender Odyssey that some of my friends had attended, and at which one had run a great workshop. Apparently the big buzz around the conference this year was pumping for trans men - enhancing your dick (i.e., clit on T, not necessarily a constructed penis) with pumping, which purportedly works, and could add an inch or two. Since then I’ve been vaguely curious about trying out one of those clitoral pumps (which I assumed would work better, for me at least, than an actual penis pump).
So I jumped at the chance to get this one.
Shasta is right, the suction is not all that powerful. In fact, a few times I wasn’t even sure it had created a suction - it’s a little hard to tell with the labia and such. (My friend & fluffer femme spy (you really need a tag of your own, considering how often I mention you, don’t you?) swears by the snake-bite kit, note to self, go get one.) I Googled clitoral pumping for trans guys - because, well, what else do you do when you want to know something? You go to the almighty Google gods - and I found an article from ‘98 on pumping - Trans Sexuality: Gonna Pump You Up - that had a few interesting things:
About what will happen when you use it:
Growth will depend on how consistent you use the pump, what you had to start with, and genetics don’t hurt any either. I polled the mailing lists on the internet and received only one response, so there are basically no figures available as to what you can reasonably expect. I know that I gained a 1/2″ in diameter and near approximately 3/4″ in length before becoming rather lazy about pumping. These changes have been permanent and in my eyes worth the $80.00 that I spent.
Seems like they aren’t in the $80 range anymore, though I don’t know much about penis pumps, I’m mostly looking at clitoral pumps - they seem to be in the $20-30 range. I wonder if there’s better information about pumping now - I should ask my friend who was at the trans conference I guess. Doesn’t seem like there’s much online, that I could find.
The author goes through how to make a pump, how to buy a premade one, and finally, how to use one:
It is best to be sexually aroused before beginning to pump. You want blood flowing into the erectile tissue so as to enable you to form a seal. Place the cylinder on your erectile tissue. Once the cylinder is in place pump slowly and gradually until you feel pressure. If you feel pain, back off. An intense pinching sensation means that you either need to resituate the cylinder or it’s time to move up in size. If there is no pain, leave the cylinder on for so long as it feels comfortable, but do not exceed 5-10 minutes. You can expect to feel pressure or perhaps a very slight pinching sensation on the underside of your member. Release the pressure then rest for 5-10. Repeat once. As you get familiar with the device and the reaction of your body, you can work up to a second repetition … Go slow and easy. Soreness is an indication that you need to take a break for a day or so. It is imperative that you listen to your body. When you are done pumping . . . well, I don’t need to tell you how to scratch that itch.
(Quotes reprinted without permission.)Worth a try, or a few tries, I think.
After the first time, I can tell you: 1. it was definitely arousing, and I needed to beat off afterward; 2. I couldn’t tell how well the suction was working, and I wanted it to be stronger, but - 3. I’m a little sore afterward, in a way I am usually not after jacking off. I would assume this has to do with the pumping. Maybe it works after all! I’ll try to do this just about every day for a while and see if it makes a difference.
My best friend, The Muse, turned me on to this silk and suede blindfold called Wink from Jimmyjane, and I really want one. Or, perhaps more accurately, I really want a girl to give one to.
More versatile than your favorite scarf, this suggestive accessory can ravel while you unravel. Made of over 3 yards of 100% hand dyed silk cut on the bias, it provides more than enough comfort and just enough yield. The fabric softens beautifully with use & time. We’ve been known to slide off the mask and wear it out on the town — our little secret.
Each side of the supple suede mask is embroidered to help you get what you want. One side shows the universal symbol of snooze: the Z! Wear it nightly as a decadent sleep mask, or flip it over and flash your partner the come-hither heart.
When I saw k.d. lang perform live recently for the first time, I was so incredibly invested in and taken by her presence onstage, in her suit and bare feet, crooning so intimately with the audience. I felt connected in a way I hadn’t felt at a concert before, and I wasn’t sure exactly what that was, until I realized that it was probably one of the first times I’ve seen a butch woman perform. Okay, so I’ve been to Michfest, I’ve seen Ferron and Alix Olsen and Melissa Ferrick - but somehow this was different, I’m not exactly sure how. Maybe because we were at Radio City Music Hall, and the audience wasn’t particularly queer? These were jazz lovers, a highbrow audience.
k.d. is one of the few artists whose albums I will go out and buy the week they come out. I have almost her entire library in my collection, and I often go back to her old albums just as often as her new. Hymns from the 49th Parallel is just as brilliant as Drag and as Ingenue … I love ‘em all.
Watershed, which came out recently, is really worth a listen. It’s her first collection of songs written by her since 2001, and it’s gorgeous. Here’s the ad trailer (!) for the album.
L-word fans (or, if you’re oldschool, Murmurs fans) probably know that k.d. lang dated Leisha Hailey for a few years … man, to be a fly on the wall in that bedroom. Talk about a power couple. That’d be some good fan fiction, if I wrote that kind of genre.
My Butch/Femme Holiday Gift List is getting out of control. I have four pages of notes in my journal, multiple notepad files with links and images. And I just can’t seem to polish it up enough to finish, and fuck, time is running out.
So, I’m going to pick five.
Gifts for the butch-leaning gal in your life:
Engraved hidden message collar stays
From Red EnvelopeI’m always losing collar stays in the wash, and these are super sweet, with messages like “You’re so handsome.” Awww.
Men’s accessories box
From Red EnvelopeBecause we still have watches, leather cuffs, chains, collar stays, rings, pocketwatches, cuff links … so of course, we must have somewhere fabulous to hold it all!
Red Envelope has many other excellent gifts, check em out.
For someone slightly more punk rock, consider Tomcat Threads for some awesome one-of-a-kind vintage silkscreened ties. I have one of these with a microphone on it, and it’s my favorite tie of all.
Look for somewhat slim, skinny, narrow ties, especially for female-bodied folks who are slender. Cyberoptix has many options in the narrow-tie style.
Whiskey Glasses
Via AmazonHandblown glass remake of a classic whiskey tumbler. Perfect for other refined liquors, even if she’s not a bourbon/whiskey/scotch kinda guy. Also consider a flask - even better if it’s engraved with some memorable phrase or image she will love. I wouldn’t recommend something like “to my sweetie, love, me” - it’ll be much more timeless with a personal touch, but not a personalization.
Tiffany Classic Money Clip
From Tiffany & CoEven if she’s more of a wallet kind of guy, a money clip is a good thing to have in the accessory box … and Tiffany’s engraves. Gorgeous, classic.
Also consider Cufflinks from Tiffany, there are some fantastic classic, plain, smooth sets that would be such a great gift.
Gifts for the femme-leaning gal in your life:
Perfume BottleI wouldn’t really presume to buy her her favorite perfume, or a new perfume, unless she asks for it (or hints at it!) specifically, but antique perfume bottles are so beautiful on a dresser or vanity, and hold the scents that she picks out.
LingerieOh, I know. It’s a tough one. You gotta know her size, and have an idea of what she likes - and what you like. Browse around through Princess Tamtam and Agent Provocateur for inspiring ideas.
(Yes, that’s Maggie Gyllanhall over there, modeling Agent Provocateur lingerie. Many other photos of her at the site.)
Shoes. Oh my god, shoes.Shoes are another tough one. I can recommend some good sites, but probably not specific shoes: the Red Door Store has a fantastic selection, as does Endless (and, as a sidenote, I really geek out on the navigation and interface for Endless. Gorgeous).
The Red Door Store has lingerie, costumes, and bondage gear, too …
Vintage Brush & Hand Mirror setThese are kinda hard to find; I bought a set on eBay as a gift for the Unholy ex last year (you may remember that, if you’ve been around. I can’t find the post on it) and I thought it was a brilliant suggestion. The beauty of these items alone, even if they are not used or functional, is such a lovely addition to a vanity or dresser top.
JewelryMan, I feel like I’m going with very cliche femme gifts. Perfume, jewelry, shoes, lingerie? Really, Sinclair? Somebody help me out here, leave more suggestions in the comments, please. Good thing I don’t have anybody special to buy for this year.
Meanwhile: I adore this necklace from Janet Jewelry. You can customize some text to go onto it, or choose some excellent phrases that Janet has already made, like “The best revenge is living well” or “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Super sexy.
More Jewelry … rings, this timeRings are loaded, I know, but if you can go for it, these rings from Amy Peters Studio are amazing and lovely. I want a set for myself, someday.It’s a ring set, three rings with different words on each one: Believe Dream Hope Wish / In About For For / Peace Magic Love Happiness. So they make a little sentence as they rotate on your finger.
I am a submissive, by choice and nature. And though my butch is quite accomodating, there are some things I can’t even imagine her doing unless asked. Brushing my hair, painting my toenails, wearing a sleeveless tee, baggy jeans with a hint of boxers revealed, and Tims, donning toolbelt, hammering and drilling at my command, sweating and…wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. You get my point. In a nutshell, I want a day of servitude from my butch…anything I want for a whole day.
Here’s the thing about this harness. It’s gorgeous & comfortable, and you can strap a cock on, la la la, just like you usually would, but then … then? The way the front leather triangle is built, you can add a second cock that will slip right inside the harness wearer (assuming the wearer is female bodied).
It’s like an instant double, with any of the two cocks you choose.
I discount my own penetration pretty easily … but this reminded me how different orgasms are when my own cunt has something to grip.
I'm Sinclair Sexsmith, a chivalrous kinky writer, queer butch top, and feminist sex educator in New York City.
Turn ons: femme girls, strappy sandals, fishnets & garter belts, accessories in general (belts, glasses, bags, shoes), submission, blow jobs, intellectual curiosity, packing, avocados, dark chocolate, accoustic folk music, literary & gender theory, whiskey, the perfect pen. Turn offs: chick lit, pop music, cheap beer, apathy, complacency, chewing gum, fingernails, celebreality.
Sugarbutch Chronicles is a personal writing exploration of sex, gender, and relationships, and attempts to celebrate queer theory, sexuality, gender, and culture in ways that are expansive rather than restrictive, liberating rather than limiting. Read more ...
Want to be added to the list for the password protected posts? Leave a comment here.
Sinclair Elsewhere
Eden Fantasys: I write sex toy reviews, primarily cocks & harnesses, and occasionally "fantasies" that detail stories including particular sex toys. Take a look at my profile with links to all my writings.
The Lesbian Lifestyle: a group blog with various voices from the lesbian communities; I write here occasionally. Check out my author profile for all of my contributions.
Crossdressing: Erotic Stories
