An Enthusiastic Review of the Cowgirl Sex Machine

I have been in awe since the Cowgirl Sex Machine landed on my doorstep (courtesy of Tabu Toys). Seriously.

It’s heavy, it comes with all sorts of accessories — and it even has an app that powers it from far away, so someone could be traveling and still control the sex machine their partner is sitting on.

Here’s the unboxing:

Before it even arrived, rife and I talked about positions. How could you use this? What ways could it be ridden while that person also gets used in other ways by their partner? We had theories.

But it turned out, in practice, only figure A worked for our bodies. It might be possible for other people to get into more contortionist positions? But it’s clear that this machine is made for someone to straddle it, and ride.

And it does that very, very well.

What rife and I have deemed most successful and pleasurable continues to be having someone sit on the Cowgirl, with penetration or vibration or both, and their partner is in a chair very close to them, and the person sitting on the Cowgirl also has their mouth penetrated, too.

(Highly recommend.)

Here’s a little photo & video tour:

In my attempts to get as thorough of a review as possible, I did get an official on-the-record comment from a friend:

It’s an impressive toy (if you can call it that) – it is clearly high quality, well designed, and commands a certain, ah, attention in the room. 

It’s a pretty intense full body experience, in part because your whole body has to be engaged to get in position.  Although we did experiment a little with putting it in different positions (propping it up so that I could be on my back, for example), it is really meant to stay in one spot so the user mounts it to use it. That’s fun and it’s heavy and solid enough that it’s a very satisfying feeling just to straddle it — whether the vibration and rotation can be calibrated to what feels good to you will be very individual, but it can be a fun experience even if that part isn’t spot on.  The vibration and rotation adjustments do have a wide range but even the lowest settings are pretty intense (of course, I don’t use vibrators normally so take that with a grain of salt perhaps), and the sensation is more intense because you are also straddling it, holding yourself up in some way.

As someone who generally doesn’t use vibrators (they aren’t the right sensation for me), I’m always excited about toys that do something else, and this one was an interesting ride. It isn’t for the faint of heart, but that isn’t really the point, then, is it.

— Penny

In Conclusion

It’s not something we’ll use often, but it is an incredible pleasure to have the option to use it when we want to. I’m grateful to the fine folks at Cowgirl for sending it on to me, thank you. Head over there to look at their very high-fashion photos of this baby, and add it to your wedding registry or your baby registry or your 40th birthday wish list for your friends to all go in on together … or just save up. It’s an incredible investment for the home dungeon.

PS: Here’s an outtake — sliding the control plug into it’s socket. It’s … so satisfying. They even say it’s “modeled after high-end musical equipment” and it feels just like that.

An extra enthusiastic thank you to Tabu Toys, who sent this toy in exchange for an honest review. Head over to their site and check out the information they have on the Cowgirl. Thank you!

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

2 thoughts on “An Enthusiastic Review of the Cowgirl Sex Machine”

  1. slave sindee says:

    great review

  2. So ridiculously out of my budget but DANG I want one. gonna have to start another savings account for sex toys

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