Ask Me Anything: Strapping On For the First Time
June 1, 2011 · Content: strap-on, beginners, first time, positions, lube, blow jobs, harness, communication, sex ed, butch/femme
Go slow. Use lots of lube. LOTS of lube. More than you think you might need, especially at first. A reader’s butch just placed the online order for her first cock — here’s everything I wish someone had told me: how to talk each other through it, which positions actually work, why the typical porn positions are the best, and how to get each other off when the sensation is coming through the base rather than the tip.
Which harnesses work with double dildos?
September 29, 2017 · Content: double dildo, harness, strapless strap-on, Feeldoe, Share, RodeoH, advice, sex ed, penetration, queer sex
A reader’s girlfriend is buying a Share dildo and wants to know which harness will actually work with it. The short answer: most harnesses aren’t designed for doubles, but a few are. A full breakdown of the options — from the Feeldoe/Realdoe to the Fuze Tango to the Injoyus — with notes on what to expect from each, including the honest truth about which positions work best when you’ve got a double inside you.
The Ten Sugarbutch Cock Commandments
September 26, 2014 · Content: cock confidence, strap-on, philosophy, sex ed, embodiment, identity, gender, beginners, lube, harness
After six years teaching strap-on workshops and fifteen years strapping on, here are the foundational rules: All bodies have holes. Use sexy words. It is an extension of your body — wear it around the house, jerk off with it, feel your energy all the way into the tip. Don’t call it fake. The Ten Commandments distilled from years of teaching, coaching, and fucking.
Review: 4-in-1 Natural—Pack, Pee, Play, & Pleasure from FreeToM Prosthetics
April 19, 2016 · Content: packing, STP, stand-to-pee, prosthetic, FreeToM, medical silicone, trans, pack and play, review, gender
A medical grade silicone prosthetic designed to do four things: pack, pee, play, and pleasure. It folds for packing, comes with an insertable rod to make it hard enough to fuck with, has a cup structure for standing to pee, and a textured pleasure slide against the body for the wearer. The most comprehensive pack-and-play device reviewed on the site — with notes on what works, what doesn’t, and which color samples to order first.
The Sugarbutch Guide to Cock Confidence: Pack & Play
February 8, 2011 · Content: packing, pack and play, harness, bendable dildo, sex ed, cock confidence, tips, gender, strap-on
The problem: good soft packing cocks are too soft to play with, and good solid fucking cocks are too hard and big to pack with. A guide to the few options that can actually do both — with harness tips, packing technique, and the important reminder that unless you’re going for the tent-pole look, wear baggy pants.
Review: Packing Cocks 101
July 14, 2008 · Content: packing, packer, soft packing, silicone, materials, review, gender, trans, cock confidence, early archive
Cocks that aren’t necessarily hard enough to fuck with, but which you can wear around and feel that weight between your legs — to tuck into jeans and rub up against your honey when you go out dancing, to get a little squeeze on the ride home, to fuck with gender, to feel more complete. A comprehensive review of packing cock options with materials guidance, what to avoid, and why some highly-reviewed products are still worth skipping.
Review: Finally, an Ejaculating Dildo: The Semenette
January 30, 2016 · Content: ejaculating dildo, Semenette, come play, fluid play, strap-on, silicone, review, body fluid, cock confidence, queer sex
For years the options for a strap-on cock that actually squirts were either toxic materials or badly engineered — until the Semenette arrived. High quality silicone, harness-compatible, with a tube that actually works. Originally designed to deliver sperm for insemination — “Turkey basters? Ew!” — but more relevantly, finally a way to make a big mess of fluids in strap-on play, or squeeze something down a boy’s throat on a blow job. Detailed review with dimensions, pros, cons, and technique.
Femming the Strap-On, Guest Post by Artemisia FemmeCock
July 28, 2016 · Content: femme cock, femme top, strap-on, gender, identity, queer femme, coming out, cock confidence, guest post, Artemisia FemmeCock
“I used to think I wasn’t gay enough to have a cock.” An essay about reclaiming the strap-on as a femme — pushing back against the assumption that cocks belong to butches, that femmes are purely receptive, that there’s a mathematical formula for how gay you’re allowed to be based on your presentation. A sharp, personal piece about discovering cock from inside a femme identity.
Ask Mr. Sexsmith: Tomboi vs RodeoH brief-style harness?
November 27, 2013 · Content: harness, Tomboi, RodeoH, brief-style harness, Spare Parts, review, comparison, clit stimulation, harness advice
The Tomboi is better than the RodeoH in fabric and cut — the RodeoH is so much shaped like girl panties, not boy briefs, and that drives me nuts. But just like the RodeoH, there’s no tight fabric near the clit, so it doesn’t do much for the wearer’s stimulation. A direct comparison of both brief-style harnesses, with notes on what I actually need from a harness and why I keep coming back to leather.
The Sugarbutch Guide to Cock Confidence: Soft Packing (Part 2)
August 7, 2014 · Content: soft packing, packer, materials, silicone, Mr. Softy, Mr. Right, Vixen Creations, review, gender, trans
Just about anything can go in the briefs as a packer, but plenty of queer genderfuckers have already done the research. Part Two of the soft packing guide covers specific product recommendations — from the Mr. Softy in four sizes to the Mr. Right silicone packer — with notes on materials, why silicone is almost always better, and where to start if you want to try it for the first time.
Ask Me Anything: Strap-On Positions When Someone is Taller
May 23, 2011 · Content: strap-on positions, height difference, sex positions, advice, technique, sex ed, penetration, cock confidence
If your torsos are different lengths and the receiver is much taller, missionary is going to be difficult — and if both torsos and thighs are different heights, it might be near impossible to get your whole bodies pressed together while fucking. But there are still many good options: receiver on top straddling, bent over a bed at hip height, giver on their knees with receiver on their back. Detailed position guide for couples dealing with significant height differences.
The Sugarbutch Guide to Cock Confidence: Soft Packing (Part 1)
July 31, 2014 · Content: soft packing, gender, trans, masculinity, identity, cock confidence, why we pack, embodiment, DIY packing
“I don’t pack, but I love when my girlfriend wears her packer. It makes her stand a little taller and it really turns me on when there’s a little something extra to squeeze.” When packing started around 2000, it was kind of indescribably comfortable — like a really cozy sweatshirt. Part One of the soft packing guide covers the why: gender affirmation, the weight between the legs, the swagger it produces, and who packs — which is anyone of any gender who wants to.
The Best Uncut Strap-Ons: Uncut #1 by Tantus & Ellis by New York Toy Collective
January 31, 2017 · Content: uncut dildo, foreskin, Tantus, New York Toy Collective, review, cock confidence, embodiment, gender, silicone, packing
When the uncut packer by New York Toy Collective arrived, there was something unusually embodied about it — given my parent’s politics, if they’d had a kid assigned male at birth, they probably wouldn’t have had him circumcised. So it felt closer to what my body might have experienced. A review of the two best uncut strap-ons available, with an update pointing to the first one found with actually movable foreskin.
Ask Me Anything: How to Give Blow Jobs Without Feeling Stupid
August 4, 2011 · Content: blow job, strap-on, cock confidence, Kristen, technique, beginners, embodiment, sex ed, sensation
Here’s the thing about sucking silicone cock: you have to pretend it’s real and remember that it’s not, both at the same time. Kristen guest-answers this one: start slow, lick around the head, look up at your partner, vary your speed. Act like you know what you’re doing. And for the wearer: the sensation comes from the base pressing against the clit, so position matters — and getting off is absolutely possible.
Review: Carter, The (Big!) Bendable Dildo by New York Toy Collective
July 31, 2015 · Content: dildo review, New York Toy Collective, bendable dildo, dual density silicone, girth, packing, strap-on, queer sex toys
Carter finally feels like a desert-island dildo — the one to choose, above all else, as the go-to cock for everything. New York Toy Collective’s unique trick is the only bendable silicone on the market, which means it packs in jeans and still fucks. Carter adds significant girth to the line. Detailed review covering material, shape, size, feel, and why dual-density silicone is worth paying for.
Cock Confidence: Buck by Vixen Creations (Review)
November 14, 2009 · Content: Vixen Creations, Vixskin, Buck, silicone dildo, review, cock confidence, harness compatible, realistic, material
Oh, Vixskin. (Sigh & swoon.) When asked which cocks to recommend, the answer is always Vixen Creations’ Vixskin line — high quality silicone, completely sterilizable, but much more pliable than regular silicone, realistic enough to feel like mine. Buck is the one that gets the deep dive here: shape, size, material, and what it’s like to actually fuck with it.
Cock Confidence: Uncut with Movable Foreskin
January 31, 2019 · Content: uncut, foreskin, movable foreskin, King Cock, Doc Johnson, review, cock confidence, PVC, materials, strap-on
The number of times people have asked about a strap-on with foreskin that actually moves — and finally, there’s one. The King Cock Uncut by Doc Johnson. It’s not perfect (PVC material, off-gassing smell, not the highest quality plastics), but it is the first one found with foreskin that slides. A thorough review covering materials, what off-gassing means and why it matters, and an honest assessment of whether the foreskin movement is actually worth it.
Keeping a Leather Harness Clean
July 28, 2009 · Content: leather harness, harness care, cleaning, maintenance, Aslan Leather, Commando, cock confidence, leather, sex toy care
A new harness arrived — the Commando by Aslan Leather, which quickly became a new favorite — and the question of how to keep it clean and in good shape became urgent after a very active several months with Kristen. A practical guide to leather harness maintenance: what to use, what not to use, how to keep the leather from cracking, and what to look for when a harness is starting to wear out.
Review: Randy, The New Big Cock
June 30, 2009 · Content: dildo review, Randy, Babeland, big cock, girth, strap-on, Vixskin, blow job, fucking, cock confidence
The cock that’s perfect for blow jobs isn’t always the one that fills her properly, that makes her gasp and open practically involuntarily. Randy gets swapped in mid-scene — after the blow job — because something larger is needed. A review that doubles as a scene report: the hot immediacy of changing o-rings while she’s already wet, and what it’s like to fuck someone for the first time with a cock that’s uncertain territory.
Getting My Cock Pierced
February 10, 2011 · Content: cock piercing, body modification, Elayne Angel, silicone, Prince Albert, apadravya, butch cock, gender, identity
Heading to Philadelphia for a session with legendary piercer Elayne Angel — Kristen is getting her nipples done, and one of my cocks is getting pierced. Which one? Which piercing? I’ve been wanting to do this for years but never quite figured out the logistics of piercing plastic. An open question to the community about which cock to bring, which piercing would feel best for the receiver, and what it means to mark a silicone cock as yours.
