identity politics

A Love Letter to Femmes

Maria See put the original call out for the Femmethology literally years ago, and ever since I first saw it I knew I wanted to contribute something to this unique anthology on femme identity. But what? I didn’t feel like I could necessarily speak from a place of authority on What Femme Is, there are hundreds – thousands! – of versions of femme, and no matter what I know about femme or how many femmes I’ve interacted with, I am an observer, a witness of femme, I don’t feel like I create it myself.

So what would I write?

I wrote a few pieces, brainstormed, but nothing I really loved. Nothing really got to the heart of what I was trying to say, which was … what? I wasn’t sure.

But it hit me on the very last day the editors were accepting submissions, and I sat down and wrote this Love Letter in one long sentence, and spent the rest of the day editing and polishing. I’m not going to reproduce the text here (you’ll have to buy the book for that) but I will present you, here, with a recording of me reading the love letter that appears in Visible: A Femmethology Volume Two.

Hope you enjoy it.

Download the mp3 here if you’d like to keep it.

Thanks very much to Audacia Ray for recording and producing this mp3!

In case you missed it, see more information about the Femmethology here.

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

20 thoughts on “A Love Letter to Femmes”

  1. Cherry Poppins says:

    Sugarbutch… positively delicious! Thank you for putting a huge smile on my face during a super boring workday.



  2. I love it when Sinclair does recordings!

    [And I swear there is also one about femme cock somewhere on this site.]

  3. riotgrrrl1974 says:

    Thank you so much, Sinclair. That was simply beautiful.

  4. stephanie says:

    You made me smile and cry – thank you for sharing. I needed that.

  5. genderkid says:

    Ohh that's beautiful. I wanted to listen to it again after hearing it (and I did).

  6. redvelvetfemme says:

    this was lovely and much needed. it came at a time when this femme needed to feel so admiration and appreciation. i cannot wait to read it. thank you. xoxo

  7. rascalgrrl says:

    Oh, Sinclair, that was amazingly, hauntingly, bewitchingly gorgeous. The sound of your voice cut through an ordinary day and touched my soul with light. A thousand thanks, dear Sir.

  8. Amber says:

    Ohhhh my goodness Sinclair. Your voice can make a girl cry and laugh all at the same time.

    Thanks for the love, Mr. Sexsmith.

  9. Sapphicslave says:

    Sinclair, your smooth voice dripping from my speakers melts me everytime I hear it.


  10. K says:

    Thank you. I'd just had some shit news from my own butch, and was feeling a tad down, but as usual, your words (and especially your voice) has soothed me, made me feel wanted, respected, needed, seen. Thank you.

  11. "To all the femmes who have seen me" – We see you and we see ourselves through your eyes and have never felt more beautiful. Thank you.

  12. Miss J. says:

    What a beautiful homage to femmes! And what a sexy voice… hmm.. I'm melting..

    Thank you for sharing!

  13. femme in butch cloth says:

    my but you have a sexy voice… why am i not surprised? (i hadn't heard it before)

    of course, beautiful, beautiful writing. as usual.

  14. Amazing! That gave me chills. Thank you.


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