Okay, on a lighter note?

I didn’t mention it two weeks ago, when Penny and I had our last date, but we broke my cock that day. My infamous Silky/Mr. Bendy (named differently depending on where you buy it), my very favorite cock - because you can pack with it, and play with it, and it actually works - unfortunately, that’s incredibly rare in the world of cocks.

This was the blue one that Penny broke - uh, I mean, that Penny and I broke, together - and it’s the third one I’ve broken. (Remember broken, breaking? That was the second. The first time I broke it, with Callie, I wrote that up, too, but I can’t find the link.)

Unfortunately, that’s just one of the things about Silky’s reality - it doesn’t last.

So, Eden has a blue or a purple version of Silky, and Babeland has pink or black - but I’ve never actually seen the black one in stock. I’ve ordered it before, only to be sent the pink one. I started thinking it was the unicorn of cocks, a myth, an urban cock legend.

But? It’s in stock. And the one I reordered as a replacement came tonight. Man, they sure all nice all new and hard, spine all bendy and supple. Mmm, this weekend’s date with Penny is going to be fabulous.

If you want a black one, order it now - who knows how long it’ll stick around!

While we’re on the subject of things you should order while they’re in stock, take note of Bear Bergman’s book Butch is a Noun, published by the fantastic Suspect Thoughts - it’s gone into a second printing after being out of stock for a long time. I’ve got plenty to say about this book, I’m very fond of it - remember the video of Bear reading the opening chapter a few months ago? Snag a copy while you can.

… go on, you know you want to.

In celebration of Sugarbutch Chronicle’s second anniversary, I’m going to follow one of my favorite blogger’s Ask Me Anything thread over at Zen Habits and open up the floor to any questions you might have for me. I can’t promise to answer 100 (as Zen Habits’s author Leo did) but I will answer as many as I can.

You already know how old I am (29), my favorite cock (Silky), and a whoooole lot about my relationship history in the past few years (see: every “girl” category over there in the sidebar). But what else do you want to know?

To echo Leo once again: You can ask me anything you want, from the personal to the professional to the philosophical and anything else you can think of. I can’t claim to have expert answers on anything, but I’ll do my best, and will profess ignorance when applicable.

My very first sex toy review is up Eden Fantasys (whose name makes me want to get out my red English Major pen and correctly pluralize the noun), and what other toy to start with than my beloved packing cock.Apparently, though Babeland calls it Mr. Bendy, it is actually known by the manufacturer as Silky, and comes in blue and purple as well as pink (which is the only color I’ve ever seen at Babeland).

I really do love this cock - and, while I am absolutely man enough for pink, I am quite excited about my new blue one.

Actually, I feel kind of selfish about this cock. I don’t want to tell you where to buy it or how awesome it is, because it’s mine. But, in the spirit of spreading the love, I am resolving to get over that possessiveness …

From the review:

I have spent years – since I first came out and began having sex with women, since I first started honing my butch identity and wanting a cock to be part of my sex life – searching for a cock I could not only pack with, but also play with.

And? Here’s the secret: this is that cock.I have a special place in my heart for Babeland - clearly, since I’m mentioning it in my plug for my Eden review - particularly because they are built on queer politics, community, and culture. Their staff members are primarily queer and absolutely queer friendly, they know all about gender and gender expression, and I never feel out of place in that store. It was the first non-skeevy sex toy store I’d ever been in, and for that reason, I just love it. Support the dykes, yay.

But despite my love for Babeland, sometimes their product selection falls a bit short. By which I mean, sometimes they just don’t have what I need.

And that’s a place where Eden is fantastic. They have a really great selection of toys - not only cocks & harnesses, but also slappy and stingy toys, lube, condoms, books, DVDs, all sorts of things. Their queer content is not perfect, but it’s there, and they are working on building it further, which I think is fantastic.

Buy this cock on Eden Fantasys now!

When Callie and I were upstate for that poetry competition, she brought up the possibility of perhaps maybe someday me getting a bigger cock.

Now, I love my cock, don’t get me wrong. It’s known as Mr. Bendy, because it is made of “flesh-like” cyberskin material and has a spine in it that means it can bend enough to pack with, but is still hard enough to fuck with. (This is actually a big problem with packing dildos. Either they’re too hard to pack, or too soft to fuck with. Go figure.) The cyberskin means that we ALWAYS have to use a condom, and we keep it really clean, but that doesn’t really bug me - I kind of like the action of rolling a condom on, it’s sexy, makes me feel boyish. If I call this cock something other than “my cock” in my head (rarely aloud), I’d call it Mr. Pink because, you guessed it, it’s pink. In fact, it only comes in a “flesh tone” (by which they mean caucasion/khaki/beige) or a baby pink, and Babeland has only ever had pink when I’ve seen it.(Remember how Callie & I broke my old cock once upon a time? Yeah, this is the one we broke; then I bought a replacement, same make & model.)

And hey, Callie loves that pink cock of mine. It is very decently sized, not too big but big enough, and I know how to work her, know the angles at which to move, the pressure, how deep to go, know the kind of give she has, the weight on my hips, all of that.Penetration is actually somewhat painful for Callie, actually. This isn’t something that I fully understand (especially because she not only seems to very much enjoy it - and tells me how much she enjoys it - but she very explicitly asks for it), but she has definitely made it clear that it is “painful every time.”

I guess she has gotten used to it, though. And while I do have one that is slightly longer, that isn’t what she craves: she craves wider girth.

We’ve been talking about fisting a lot lately, and she has expressed desire to feel stretched, and full. And after talking about how she wants more of me, talking up my huge cock and how she wouldn’t even be sure if she could take it, we made a special trip to our friendly neighborhood Babeland, two weekends ago, and promptly bought Rodeo Rick.

She’s a Vixskin dildo, made to feel like cyberskin - squishy, fleshlike - but actually made of silicone, so it is boilable and sterilizable.Awww yeah.

Trouble in paradise began when we realized that our friend Rick here is 2″ in girth, and my harness is not one of those smart ones where you can update the ring size, and Ms. Rick won’t fit.

Now, the harness is another essential tool here, aside from the cock. In fact, for the wearer, the penetrator, the harness is absolutely key - in my opinion/experience - to feeling the maximum amount of pleasure, and, ultimately, to being able to get off.

For example, my two-strap (jock-strap style) leather harness, though nice (and cost me a pretty penny), does not get me off because I don’t have enough stimulation on my clit.

My one-strap “travel harness,” as I’ve nicknamed it, because it is the smallest, simplest harness I’ve ever seen, basically just two rings, one in the front & one in back, held together with two lengths of nylon around the waist, and one length between the legs in a g-string style. No frills at all. This harness has been key to getting off while fucking. It hits exactly the right spots, the strap is narrow enough that it covers my clit perfectly and rubs just right with the pressure of in-and-out. This harness was really cheap, something around $25, and I would highly recommend it in every way. (It’s also fantastic for packing - sometimes a leather harness is much too bulky to have on under clothes.)But neither of these harnesses has a changable ring, you know, with snaps around it so different size cock rings can be interchanged. Damnit.

My travel harness isn’t the best harness, anyway - it has D-ring clasps, meaning that instead of having like a belt-buckle style where the straps lock in place and don’t slip around, it gets looped back over-under itself, like one of those casual fabric summer belts. The D-ring clasps do sometimes loose some of the tension, which sometimes mean my precision slips. (There are probably better names for these things. I should learn them. Or at least illustrate with pictures. Perhaps I’ll add some from home, as I don’t want to go surfing Babeland at work.) I also don’t really like that it is nylon. I’m not big on my leather harness either, and I’ve actually had some friends recommend rubber because it’s so easy to clean and stays in really nice shape, but that seems so … impersonal, and plastic. Plus, the nylon seems kind of cheap.But! It took some work, some dedicated searching on Babeland, Good Vibes, Aslan Leather, JT’s Stockroom, and a few other places, but thank god for the internet, ’cause I found the perfect new harness.

Criteria:
- one-strap style, with thin straps that will hit my clit
- locking straps
- interchangable rings
- non-nylon materialAnd voila, here it is: Vegan Erotica’s G-string style harness. I really really hope it’s as perfect as it seems; I will let you know. I ordered it today, requested it be rushed out to me, and I’m supposed to get it early next week.

Callie emailed me today with some news of another sex party coming up on the 31st, and a new baby-pink corset. I think Rick and I are going to have quite a good time.

the Babeland references are because I broke my favorite pack-and-play cock this weekend and must get a new one. I should tell you it broke while fucking her in some wildly fantastic way, but really I was boiling it and the silicone split. damnit.———–
from: s
to: sinclair

Oh my God, woman, what you do to me. I want you so badly I’m literally aching. Can I come with you to babeland after work tomorrow, and then we head over to the workshop together? Of course I completely understand if you prefer to shop alone.

Christ, I don’t know how I’m supposed to concentrate on work… Can I get that quickie now?

XXX (because that’s what my thoughts are rated)

———–
from: sinclair
to: the divine ms. sI like it when I make you ache.

makes me feel powerful. makes me feel like I’m seeing underneath your surface, affecting you in deep waves that come to the surface and make your eyes ripple & shine. god, that way that you look at me, when your eyes do that, makes me feel … beautiful. capable. safe. like I could do anything, be anyone in that moment and you’d hold the space for me to fill.

god, you make me ache too. something deep in my belly nestled between my hips. and then my fingers, palms of my hands, wrists, the ache and quiver of not holding you, not touching your skin today, not waking with my hand on that perfect curl of your hip that I love.

last night, arms around you in that chair I only wanted to slip my hand inside your jeans, under your shirt to palm your breast, feel your nipple between my fingers. should I tell you things like this? I closed my eyes, visualized the room empty but it didn’t work, they were all still there.

my desire for you overrides: sickness, sleep, hunger.

I feel like a teenaged boy around you, wanting you, so much, all the time. and then? there’s that other part, where you let me have you, take you, have my way with you - the way you lift me up, boost my confidence, make me feel so strong. thank you. I’ve never had anything like this in my relationships before, and it is such a beautiful relief, and so much growth for me.

we really must start practicing our quickies. is there a place in your building where we can fuck over lunch?

… I would love it if you came with me to Babeland, it’s a date. how about I pick you up after work?

love you.
sinc