My Ultimate Masturbation Toys

May 19, 2010  |  reviews

Since it is National Masturbation Month and all, and while I’m not participating in the Masturbate-a-Thon or creating my own ritual like Curvaceous Dee‘s Wankfest, I figured I’d still up the masturbation talk a bit.

Maybe it’s the (perceived or real) body and gender dysphoria, but most of the butches I know—even those who write sex blogs—don’t write about masturbation often, if ever. Including me.

After years and years of getting myself off, I’ve tried many dozens of toys. My favorite early on was the basic little silver bullet (I used to go through one or two of those a year), but they are only about $15, so they are worth an annual investment.

It took a while for me to upgrade to a Hitachi. It’s pretty intimidating, regardless of how sensitive you are, and very intense. The thing plugs into the wall, for goodness sake. I (and many others) often joke that you have to rev it up like a chainsaw. Yeah, the thing is intense, but that’s because it doesn’t fuck around. It is serious vibration, serious power.

And I love it.

I do get off without it, sometimes, but I prefer to use it. I come harder and quicker with it, and it gives a bigger release. I know some folks claim that it dulls one’s sensitivity over time, and I’m not sure what I think about that argument. I know I’ve been using it for years and it hasn’t dulled my sensations, as far as I can tell. Nothing permanent or irreparable, certainly. It does seem like when I’m using it frequently (I have had some patches in my life where masturbation has been more frequent than others), it’s harder to get off other ways. But that seems to quickly change if or when I take a break.

The thing about the Hitachi, though, is that it comes with this plain white “head,” this porous, non-sterilizable material that just begs to be replaced. If you love your vibration to also be insertable, you want to go with something like the Gee Whiz attachment, but me, I just want it to be silicone, and a little added texture is a nice bonus. For that, you need the Off With Your Head attachment.

At this point, that attachment is practically a requirement. If I ever got someone a Hitachi as a gift, I’d include one of those—it just seems not quite done or dressed or ready without it. One side has a little pinched vertical ridge, the other side has multiple horizontal ridges, and one of those is bound to be just the extra bit of stimulation that will go perfectly with your vroom vroom motorcycle vibration.

If you, like me, like something inside sometimes, there is nothing like The Pure Wand. Pure polished stainless steel, 1.51 pounds (POUNDS), eight inches long by 1.5″ at the thicker end and 1″ at the thinner end, and with a perfect g-spot curve. It tends to be pretty cool to the touch, adopting the room’s temperature, unless you warm it up first, which is another delicious side effect, that your body temperature warms it up and it feels different on the way out.

You might think the Pure Wand just isn’t quite big enough, you size queens you, but in my experience folks who like to feel full or filled up often are trying to get their g-spot hit, and this does a beautiful job of that. Perhaps you might need to upgrade to the Eleven, if you can afford it (I’m still trying to get my hands on one of those. Anybody? I should offer something special in exchange for the opportunity to have my own to review …), though I have heard from folks who have both that they prefer the Pure Wand. I’ll have to report back to you on that one in the future.

So there you’ve got it: my three favorite masturbation toys. The Hitachi + Off With Your Head Attachment + The Pure Wand. If there’s a better combination for a lovely afternoon, lounging around on my bed and lovin’ on myself for a while, I don’t know what it is.

Buy the Hitachi: at Babeland, at Good Vibrations, or at the Stockroom
Buy the Off With Your Head Attachment: at Babeland, at Good Vibrations, or at the Stockroom
Buy the Pure Wand: at Babeland, at Good Vibrations, or at the Stockroom

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9 Comments


  1. God, I would kill for a Pure Wand. I've only heard spectacular things about it.

  2. I have to say I've recently discovered masturbating while wearing the soft packer…it's kind of blown my world! I love the feel and being able to jack off with it. I always thought they were advertised as gender accessories, but they are sex toys too!

  3. I don't think that the hitachi desensitizes so much as it just makes one impatient. Why would I want to use a weaker toy that will take forever when I know my hitachi can get me off so much quicker?

  4. I'm thinking of getting the Hitachi (finally), but the Mystic Wand intrigues me because it's waterproof and cordless. I wonder if the vibrations are as powerful as the Hitachi's. Has anyone tried it?

    http://store.babeland.com/vibrators-premium/vibra

    • I have the Mystic Wand, and I also work in a store that sells them. The vibrations are not as powerful as the Hitachi. Close, but just not there. They Mystic Wand is great though, a fun shower toy!

  5. I really, really want a Pure Wand. But alas, at the moment, I am too poor. My birthday is coming up, though, so maybe I can use that as justification for the spending . . .

  6. I can't stand things that vibrate. Feels like I'm at the dentist. But I can thoroughly recommend 'The Controller' http://www.crglasstoys.com/controller-steel-dildo… although, truth be told, I've only ever used it in front of her… at her command. It's real heavy, and proper surgical grade stainless steel…

  7. Hmm. I should really look into getting some attachments for my Hitachi…

    xx Dee

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