Welcome to Sugarbutch.
I’m Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) — a queer, trans masc writer, editor, coach, and dominant who has been writing about desire, kink, gender, and relationships since 2006.
This site is a living archive of that work. Twenty years of dirty stories, essays on D/s and dominance, queer theory, erotica craft, and the ongoing project of figuring out what it means to live a deeply intentional erotic life.
There’s a lot here. Here’s where to begin.
If you want to read something hot right now
These are some of the most-loved dirty stories on the site. Explicit, queer, kinky, and carefully crafted.
- You’ll Take Whatever I Can Dish Out
- Did I Say You Could Touch Me?
- Show Me How Bad You Want Me
- Don’t Swallow
- Switch
Some of the archive is password protected. Get the password here.
If you want to understand D/s
These essays are some of the most useful things I’ve written — practical, thoughtful, and grounded in years of living inside power exchange relationships.
- Tools For Stepping Up D/s
- Creating a D/s Training Wheel
- How To Use Check Ins In Your D/s Relationship
- D/s Protocol Ideas For You To Try
- 9 Ideas to Support Your D/s During Hard Times
- Nonbinary Honorific Terms for a Dominant
If you want to write erotica
Whether you’ve never written a sex scene or you’ve been at it for years and want to go deeper, these are the places to start.
- Write the Erotica You Want to Read In the World
- Three Ways to Improve Your Erotic Stories
- Someone Else Writes Worse Erotica Than You, I Promise
- Five Steps To Getting Your Erotica Published
- On Developing A Writing Habit
- The Lineage & Ancestry of Queer Kinky Erotica
If you’re new to kink
You don’t need to already know the vocabulary. These pieces are written for curious people at the beginning of the path.
- Kink 101: Books, Websites, and Other Resources for Someone New to Kink
- Is Kink (Ever) Wholesome?
- How Are Daddy/boy and Daddy/girl Different?
- Ten Erotic Films Better Than 50 Shades of Grey
If you want to work with me directly
I offer one-on-one coaching in two areas:
D/s Coaching — for people navigating dominance, submission, Daddy dynamics, collaring, protocol, and the full complexity of power exchange relationships. Read more about D/s coaching →
Writing Dominant Coaching — for writers who are ready to stop going it alone. I’ll hold the structure, set the direction, and keep you accountable to the work you’re here to do. Read more about Writing Dominant coaching →
Both start with a free 30-minute Zoom call. No commitment. Just a conversation.
If you want to write alongside other people
Writing Spicy is my six-week online erotica writing group, running approximately once a year. We read, we write, we share, we give feedback, and we make each other braver on the page.
Get on the list to be notified when registration opens →
If you want to support this work
Sugarbutch has been free to read since 2006. If it’s meant something to you — if a story got under your skin, if an essay helped you understand yourself or your relationships better, if you found language here for something you didn’t have words for yet — I’d love your support.
- Join my Patreon for monthly workshops, early access, and the mentor coaching rate
- Order my books
- Share a piece you love with someone who needs it
Still not sure where to start?
Read this: The Lineage & Ancestry of Queer Kinky Erotica — it’s the piece that best explains what this site is for and why it exists.
Or just pick a dirty story and dive in. That works too.