What’s your relationship with sugarbutch.net and Sinclair?
I still think some of my favorite posts are erotica, but I also know that the theoretical posts have changed my life in a completely literal sense and now that I am growing into my own versions of an alternative gender identity and kinky identity, they are more important to me. But mostly, it’s just the whole thing. Everything you do lets me know that somewhere in this world are people that think like me.
What advice would you give your younger self about sex, gender, or relationships?
What one resource has had the most impact on you, and why?
Anything else to add?
2 thoughts on “The Great Reader Mini-Interview of 2013, Part 5: In which you recommend Stone Butch Blues & Fried Green Tomatoes, and give good advice”
Fried Green Tomatoes was actually crucial to my coming out. I loved the movie. I was 14 or 15, messing around on Prodigy in the early days of the internet, and found a post in a forum where someone described Idgy and Ruth’s relationship as lesbian. I balked, saying that there was no way that was possible, that clearly the writer didn’t understand the nature of a close female friendship in the South. I was gently advised that the relationship was fleshed out a little more in the book, and that I shouldn’t be so defensive, all while that one scene flashed through my mind over and over, the birthday kiss in the water… Within days I had the revelation that those feelings I was having for girls were not something I could ignore.
Wow, fantastic! I remember watching it and reading it too, but I don’t remember it being any awakening for me. Kind of fascinating, what speaks to us and what doesn’t. This discussion makes me want to go back and read it again, though.
Also, I love how common it is for us to be SUPER over defensive about queer stuff before we come out. That definitely happened to me too. I was completely convinced that the rainbow stickers people put on their cars were about *diversity*, not gay stuff specifically, and used to have that argument with people. I think it often concluded with, “But … but … there are just SO MANY of those stickers! Not ALL of those people could be gay!” Oh, Sinclair.
Thans Kathleen :)