Anal Sex Week Starts Today

It’s long overdue, I know.

Remember back in September, I posted something about how I’d like to fuck Kristen’s ass? Then there was a bit of controversy, people thinking I was trying to use the Internet to get her to do something she didn’t want to do. Clearly that is not the case.

(Not to open an old can o’worms or anything.)

Even so, there was a follow-up post with some more details about what this meant for us and what I was intending when I put the first post up. There are some great tips from commentors for folks interested in getting started or having more anal sex, too, which I do recommend you read.

We are far from pros at this whole anal sex thing, but it’s been working quite well between us, and we’ve both got comfortable enough with it that I can slip it in (ha, ha) at various times when we’re doing other things, already playing, and we do that somewhat regularly.

I did get out the lovely Tantus Silk cock, that I got from Babeland, and strap it on and fuck her ass with it, but so far that’s only been once. We both express interest in doing that again, I guess from my perspective it just takes a bit of warm up, and preparation, and I tend to stick with what works. I get impatient, is what I’m saying.

But clearly that should change if I want to continue to help push our sexual explorations into new territory.

In the past six months since I first put that post up, I have collected a host of anal toys and resources that I want to share with y’all. Some of them I’ve already mentioned or written up, like the Njoy Fun Wand and Tristan’s famous butt plug, but there are more goodies that we’ve explored since and I want to share them with you, too.

So, in the next week, I’ll have for you a review of the Tantus Silk cock, perfectly sized for ass fucking; a beautiful glass butt plug from Good Vibes; and Tristan Taormino’s legendary book The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women, sent to me by Eden Fantasys. I’ll write up some lubes that are particularly good for ass play, some tips for beginners, some of my very favorite anal scenes in queer porn, and write up a dirty story or two about what the anal exploration has been like here at Chez Sexsmith.

What about you out there? What are your favorite anal scenes in queer porn? What are your favorite toys to use? What’s your favorite lube? What position do you just love to be in? Let’s get the conversation going while I focus on the upcoming posts.

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

7 thoughts on “Anal Sex Week Starts Today”

  1. Mab says:

    Anal sex! It's a wonderful thing, because to make it work, you have to completely let go of all your inhibitions, and inhibitions are usually the things that stop me relaxing into having amazing orgasms. I think that's one reason it combines really well with d/s, because that's another good way to eliminate the inhibitions. Receiving, I like it as an extra to masturbation, or when I've worn myself out for vaginal and need extra sensation. Giving – well, I've not, yet, but I think about it a whole lot for the above reasons :D

  2. Trilby says:


    My boifriend and I use Maximus; a clear, water-based lube. It’s thick (like motor oil) enough to stay in place and is bio-static, this means should it be exposed to any bacteria, it will stop the bacteria from spreading. We love it, and don’t use anything else!

    1. Mab says:

      We use Maximus too! I like the way it comes with a pump top as well.

      1. Trilby says:

        Will that be 1 pump or 2? TeeHee…

  3. StacyCat says:

    I really dislike the “anal sex takes too long” approach. Yes, it takes longer to get in someone’s ass than it does their pussy, but sex does not have to be a race :)

    I view anal as an opportunity to extend sex play, and really focus on a lot of sensations, both from the top and the bottom. Like fisting, having the feeling of opening up and engulfment is awesome :)

  4. Benjamin_Beks says:

    i'm assuming you never tried the "Oops, wrong hole!" approach?


    That's really cool that y'all are finally trying it out. Too bad the ladies don't have a prostate in addition to a clit. That'd be one hell of an orgasm…

  5. Birdie says:

    I've been reading your posts on anal sex and have been positive I could say something, but have not been sure what. I adore anal sex and have adored it for the past 30+ years. Despite it being a much loved activity, I have had lovers where I've been oddly hesitant to participate in anal sex with them. I am not sure why…..perhaps anal penetration feels more intimate than vaginal penetration? There is more trust involved?

    As to lube, I use Probe Thick and Rich, and a partner recently introduced me to J-Lube (a powder that you mix yourself

    Take it slowly at first….maybe some firm but light anal touch or massage, and shallow digital penetration. Sometimes, when I'm initially being anally penetrated, it is painful. Stop all movement, but do NOT pull out….this is important! Just breathe into the feeling, and the pain will disappear within a few seconds. Then fuck away!

    We use a silicone cock that my lover picked up at Ms. S. I don't know what brand. We have been discussing trying anal fisting, which sounds intimidating yet hot. She has done anal fisting before, but I have not.

    My qualms around anal sex all center on worries about me being messy, but I find it much, much easier to accept messiness in a partner than messiness in myself…and truthfully, it is rarely messy anyway.

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