Happy 3rd Anniversary, Sugarbutch


It was three years ago today that I started Sugarbutch Chronicles, my latest in personal online writing explorations (aka “blogs”) since 1996. Since then, I’ve written 713 posts and received 6,149 comments in 36 categories (with 1,622 tags, which are mostly for fun and not for organization). I’ve met so many amazing folks who are pursuing sexuality and queer identity through feminist, progressive lenses.

And I’ve had the best sex of my life.

Thank you, everyone, for being a part of this. For reading, for commenting, for sending emails and being supportive.

Last year on the 2nd anniversary, I reflected on some of where I’ve been and how this site started (lesbian bed death! hiss!). Instead of reiterating, I want to skip to the ask me anything portion of the anniversary celebration and say: got a question for me? Ask me anything. You can ask me anything you want, from the personal to the professional to the philosophical and anything else you can think of. I can’t claim to have expert answers on anything, but I’ll do my best, and will profess ignorance when applicable.

I probably won’t answer all the questions just purely based on time (you’d rather I was writing smut, wouldn’t you?) but I’ll answer as many as I can.

Aaaaaand … go!

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

24 thoughts on “Happy 3rd Anniversary, Sugarbutch”

  1. Jen says:

    Hmmm. I'll bite.

    I'm verrrrry new to your blog, so I don't know much of anything about you, except I like the smut you write : ) So I apologize if this one is a repeat!

    Describe in some kind of detail the best, most amazing, most curl-your-toes orgasm you've ever had.

  2. Happy 3rd Anniversary, Sinclair!! Big hugs & kisses!!

  3. happy anniversary!!

    my question: i have noticed elsewhere online that you have added 'sadistic' to your lineup of adjectives. i was very interested in your explanation of how you came to claim those words as part of your identity (forgive me if this is not accurate), and would be interested in hearing a similar description of how you came to claim sadistic as well.

    xx FG

  4. Congratulations on your third anniversary! Just wanted to let you know you have some XY-chromosomed gender-exploring readers as well.

    Wishing you all the best in the years ahead!

  5. Alexandra says:

    Kisses and congratulations on your 3rd anniversary! I just started following your adventures on Sugarbutch and Twitter, and I love every minute of it. ;)

    Let's see, questions… questions… Have you ever considered doing a traveling SugarButch Adventures-type thing? Randomly dropping into the scene in different cities, general acts of mischief, that sort of thing? :)

    Also, as a sex educator, I'm interested in hearing feedback from people about their 'personal favorites'. Do you have a top five list of toys/accessories that you love and recommend? ;)

    Can't wait to see the next installment!



  6. Babs says:

    Happy Third Anniversary! Ok… here's a rather frivolous question: Why do you list fingernails as a 'turn off' for you? As a femme, I love getting my nails done, and think they're sexy on other femme-identified people, whether short and painted dark, squared-off french, or longer, red. I have to say traditionally my butch partners have found them attractive and sexy, as well. Anyway, I'm just curious! :-)

  7. Jess says:

    Happy 3rd, bro. Keep the posts coming!

  8. Happy anniversary, Mister, and thanks for all you've given us all these last three years: in smut, in theory, in amusing anecdotes, in tears, in product giveaways. 1,576,800 minutes, and all that.

    Sooooooo many questions. I entirely understand you won't (can't) answer them all; I just hope you'll like one of them enough to reflect on. I'm sorry to be so superlative-oriented.

    What's your favorite bit of smut you've written in the last three years?

    What's your favorite bit of smut you've read elsewhere in the last three years?

    What's your favorite comment?

    What comment caused you to stop and think most?

    How, exactly, do you determine what makes a bathroom in a bar "fuckable"?

    What perspective do you wish someone else would write about, well?

    If you do a traveling Sugarbutch adventure as mentioned above, will you please, please hit the rural places, too? We need you more than New York and Seattle and LA do.

  9. Gold says:

    According to my google-related research, the third year anniversary gift is 'leather.' Should we treat you or are you going to treat us?

    Happy anniversary, Sin :)

  10. Daisy says:

    Happy anniversary! I love this blog.

    My question: What are your working definitions of "butch" and "femme"? I know that's a tricky and possibly annoying question; I ask because I'm currently moving into the recovery phase of a recent gender panic/gender identity crisis. I'm in the process of moving to a more masculine gender presentation and (hopefully?) social role (thank God), and my girlfriend is femme (and I pretty much only like femmes), but then I don't feel like my gender issues and vibes are very similar to those of the butches I know, and… I'm just really confused.

    : )

  11. JM says:

    Happy third birthday :-)

    (Sorry I don’t have any fantastic questions on the tip of my tongue right now… but I still wanted to drop by to say congrats)

  12. saintchick says:

    Congrats on your 3rd year, you are a godsend :)

  13. Victoria (thatfemmeg says:

    Happy 3rd anniversary!


  14. leo says:

    happy number three! thanks for taking us all along for the ride.

  15. maria says:

    wow, I remember when this site was back on blogger, and when we had never seen a pic of you anywhere around here! Times have changed!

    Here's my question: what's next for the Sugarbutch Empire?

  16. Oh Sin Ditty Dawg,

    You do great things.

    Question: Since 2003, have you ever heard anyone utter the words, "Do you…(fill in the blank)?" and not thought of Cher? If so, how is this possible?

    (I have plenty of other questions, but I'll just call you with those.)

  17. Six says:

    Happy Anniversary! I just started reading your blog last week and I've loved everything I've read so far. Your writing has really helped to shape my views on femme identity and encouraged me to play with gender presentation a little bit more than I have in the past.

    Anyhoo, I guess my question is how did you first get involved with your LGBT community and how has that involvement changed over time?

  18. Siouxie_Suse says:

    ok… a personal question (you did say it would be ok)… but… (and apologies if you have already answered this one somewhere, I've only been following you for a year)… would you ever… entertain the possibility of… breathplay? (I'm NOT talking autoasphyxia, but the choking/restraining your loved one kind of breathplay ;-)

    oh, and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! x

  19. jumping over the moo says:

    would you, and with any necessary party's approval of course, mind hopping on a chinatown bus to dc and enjoying an evening(s?) of entertainment provided by yours truly?


    Joyeux anniversaire bébé! Dans ces 3 dernières années vous avez fait de moi un petit plaisir triste mais je t'aime toujours.

    (mostly i had to include that because if you google french translation happy anniversary this comes up-it means happy anniversary baby, in the past 3 years you have made me a little happy sad but i love you forever. coincidence? i think not.)

  20. reader says:

    is it a transgender characteristic to wear a cock (with anatomically accurate balls) and feel more complete or like yourself when you are a biological female? you self ID with a lot of labels, but trans isn't one of them. have you explored this idea?

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