if I could speak

If I could speak with my own voice _______________________


[ Since y’all seemed to like that last one, here’s another writing prompt for you. Leave a comment here or put it on your own blog & leave a link.]

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

30 thoughts on “if I could speak”

  1. greg says:

    I would say it all so much louder.

  2. muse says:

    I would never apologize for myself again.

  3. kim says:

    it would be without fear

  4. Becky says:

    I would say everything I've wanted to say for so long, everything that I've suppressed and kept hidden down so far. I'd say it all, loud and clear, and not be afraid of the result. If I could speak with my own voice, I'd throw away the persona I hide behind and come clean. I'd be proud of who I am.

  5. Joy says:

    I would say all the hard things that have built up under layers of compromise and expectation, and I would keep saying them, as they arise, and they would not get buried again.

  6. AveshaDee says:

    In every room, in all company, in situations of fear, solitude, oppression, and anger, if I could speak with my own voice I could be truly free.

    Right now, with this voice -deeply and irrevocably altered by 31 years of societal expectation and self-censorship- I imagine the feeling of such freedom to be terrifying and intensely familiar… would I recognize myself after accepting such a gift? What of the me I know now would be left?

  7. susu says:

    my thoughts would not be lost in translation

  8. Clarke says:

    I wouldn't bother with pretense.

  9. I would say what I really feel WHEN I feel it and nothing would get trapped underneath….

  10. dana says:

    I would put my two cents in to every asshole who acted like they could push me around because I'm a) short, b) young, c) a girl with a buzz cut.

  11. jes says:

    I would tell her how scared I really am.

  12. Kadie says:

    it would not waver or crack. It would proclaim loudly of who I am, and what I want. It would shout of the love that fills my heart when he's near me. Then I would quietly whisper how badly I wanted our baby

  13. a lot of people would be confronting the darkness of their hearts. Take note, if you are within earshot of a truth-speaker speaking her mind, you risk the safety of your pride.

  14. dana says:

    –For clarification it’s mainly at work where I hold back— in order to be spitefully polite I have to grit my teeth and take people’s shit (I try to behave but sometimes it doesn’t work) because people have a habit of making you feel like you’re a really tiny person when you’re making their food.. especially when they think they are better than you because -you- are at -their- service.

  15. Jess says:

    I'd tell them all to stop assuming shit.

  16. i think it wouldn't change a thing

  17. I would tell him I am dying inside without this

  18. Perdy says:

    I'd probably be shouting.

  19. miss sunday says:

    i'd tell everyones secrets. secrets i keep inside for public safety. my own included. and it would be devastating. utterly.

  20. Kitcat says:

    I'd tell everyone how I really feel instead of what I think they want to hear.

  21. !Spark! says:

    I'd say, "Listen to me GodDammit, acknowledge my existence! You're missing out on something SERIOUSLY worthwhile!!!!! ……expletive, expletive, expletive, etc, etc, etc, etc, wtf………."

  22. Samantha says:

    I would say, stay away. It's much too hollow in here.

  23. saintchick says:

    I would say.. Open up to me. Talk to me. I will listen I deserve that much.. to know why is it we are what we are and no more.

  24. … my honesty would be less diplomatic.

    xx Dee

  25. edith piaf says:

    it would be the low growl of a lioness, hunting for her cubs dinner. the sound that chocolate creates in the vocal chords after good sex. the calm, assured tone of someone who has been putting one foot in front of the other for months, and suddenly recognizes it became a swagger again.

  26. I'd sound like a flash flood.

  27. I'd ask everyone where their faith has gone, spill my own brokeness as a blessing, and let music flow out in waves.

  28. I would ask me, and everyone else I could find, why we haven't been doing this all along.

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