fluffer femme spy

I got my very own Fluffer Femme Spy this week, a good femme friend of mine in Seattle who has given me all sorts of useful tips & advice as we’ve been talking about my relationship. (I’d like to think my butch perspective is useful too, but who knows.)Really, I highly recommend every butch have one of these. She goes up there with my handkerchief and my boots as butch necessities. (And I mean that in the greatest way.)

As she put it:

Job duties include:

  • Pumping up the egos of fragile, doubting butch friends
  • Flirting, subtly, but just enough to get noticed and stroke said egos
  • Giving helpful hints about where to get the good, cute, not too expensive, meaningful jewelry
  • Providing advice about where/when/how to pop Important, Lifechanging Questions
  • Offering Femme Insight during Relationship Crisis
  • Giving guidance on effective apologies
  • Reassurance before/after sending scary emails
  • Other duties, as assigned

We were talking about Valentine’s Day when this all came up, well, among other things. And just for the record? There are some things I would really like to receive for Valentine’s Day (or any other holiday/present-receiving activity, really) – things that I wouldn’t really buy for myself, but that I would love to have. Such as:

  • silver flask, very plain
  • nice bottle of scotch that I’d bust out for (very) special occasions
  • a men’s accessories case
  • monogrammed handkerchiefs (yeah right, but hey, a butch can dream … )

Though some elaborate sex scene – a fantasy of mine brought to life? – would probably top everything. Although really, as long as I get laid I’m pretty satisfied. Wow, and now that I’m looking through Red Envelope online, there are a whole lot more of the men’s things that I’ve never seen. These hidden message collar stays are badass. And a monogrammed brander? That’s hardcore, and kind of makes me uncomfortably turned on.

When I asked Callie what it is she would want for Valentine’s Day, ideally (though I did mention that I’d already gotten her something and so it wouldn’t probably change what she was getting, I was just curious) she mentioned lingerie (“whatever would turn you on, ’cause that’s what it’s about, anyway”), and jewelry.

Speaking of lingerie … I gave Callie a copy of the story I wrote about our New Year’s Eve encounter. She … liked it, very much, to say the least. She said she’d forgotten about unbuttoning my shirt, and loved reading what the night was like for me. She’s never been with someone who was so into her femme role before, so that I am turned on by lingerie is kind of a novelty that she is really enjoying. So much, in fact, that she went out today and bought some new lingerie, that I am informed I will like, very much.

And, uh, hell, I’m enjoying it too.

Okay, one more thing, just in case I’m the butch spy for some of you femme readers: call me handsome, and I’ll seriously melt for you.

And speaking of you so-called femme readers: what would you just melt for, this Valentine’s Day? What do you always wish someone would’ve given you, but never have received?

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

9 thoughts on “fluffer femme spy”

  1. femmegyrl says:

    i personally have always yearned inexplicably for one of those silver hairbrush / hand mirior sets that would go atop one's dressing table. a silly extravagance, more for show then use, but nonetheless i've always wanted one. . . like an homage to moviestars of days gone by or some such. ps Sinclair, did you get my email?

  2. Morgan says:

    Very sexy entry, Sinclair… *growl* Hip flashs and monogrammed hankies always get me going.And as for Valentines Day, I would rather like to be whisked away somewhere quiet, perhaps a reclusive mountain cabin.

  3. Morgan says:

    Hip flasks*!Sorry, it is Monday morning, afterall…

  4. Dylan says:

    I've never enjoyed pet names until my exgirlfriend started calling me handsome. Absolutely a way to make a butch melt.

  5. Tiara says:

    Honestly, I've always wanted someone to write me a poem for V-day. All the other stuff – dinner, lingerie, roses…should be done EVERY Day (okay, in a fantasty world) or on another day. Special things, like poems or "I love you" in the steam on the mirror after a shower…that's the stuff that I dream of.Maybe you could tell him, eh? How IS that letter coming? ;-P

  6. Dharma says:

    I yearn to be spoiled in a very particular, definite from the ordinary way my partner does. It's hard to define and thus hard for someone to provide. Usually she does quite well regardless.

  7. Kimi Dreams says:

    I would love to get a letter written like you write them of something someone wanted to do to me then be surprised later in the day/night with flowers and being totally seduced (perhaps like they'd written). Ah…maybe next year.I just want a crack at your twin.

  8. mollybennett says:

    I love having stuff written for me. That's what I actually asked for for v-day. I've always wanted to be taken out on v-day, because it requires so much advance planning and it means that my lover is putting in a lot of effort to coordinate a perfect date.

  9. kyle says:

    I've been asking for a flask for a while, maybe the wife or girlfriend will get me one this year.

    As for complements.. yeah, handsome hits a butch in a way that other words don't. I can remember my girlfriend calling me beautiful, gorgeous, etc, because she felt I hadn't heard that kind of thing enough. And I liked it, no doubt. But when she called me handsome, it made my cock twitch.

    So yeah, femmes, complement the masculine in your butch and you'll probably get very good results.

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