“To all of the kick ass, beautiful fierce femmes out there …”

I’m still reeling from all the Sideshow amazingness last night, will have more of a recap/update soon.

Meanwhile, here’s an amazing new piece by Ivan E. Coyote at Speak Up! on 4/10/2010.

Yes yes yes ditto to all of that. What a pleasure to hear.

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith is a genderqueer kinky butch writer who teaches and performs, specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They've written at sugarbutch.net since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the Top Sex Blogs. Sinclair's gender theory and queer erotica is widely published in anthologies like Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, and online at Feministing, Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more; they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press. Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut, Sinclair's first book of short erotic stories, was published in 2014. They use the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself, and live in Oakland, CA with their boy.

26 thoughts on ““To all of the kick ass, beautiful fierce femmes out there …””

  1. Kelley O says:

    That was AWESOME!!!!!! Ivan is HOTTTTT!!!

  2. Mnl says:

    This gave me chills. I'm not full-bodied, and I don't wear five-inch heels, but otherwise, I felt she was speaking to me. And I've long thought Ivan E. Coyote was damned handsome.

  3. mc says:

    Perhaps it's because I've just been reading Leslie Feinberg's chapters in Joan Nestle's The Persistent Desire (and Feinberg usually makes me emotional), but this is making me tear up like I'm cutting onions, it's almost embarassing. I had to pause halfway and excuse myself to the washroom.

    Also, Sinclair, there's a picture of a 1950s butch in that anthology – "Lynne Berry in Worcester, Mass, 1955", a piece written by Elizabeth Kennedy and Madeline Davis. The resemblance to you is a little scary!

  4. lauren says:

    Thank you for sharing this – it was so beautiful. My butch doesn't always have the words – but Ivan does. Thank you again.

  5. Benjamin_Beks says:

    all i can say is, thank you. my own identity has been in tatters recently and this was just the boost i needed to let me know that i'm not a freak, i'm not messed up, and i'm not alone.

    brought a tear to my eye.

    just…thank you.

  6. Vivan says:

    Simply amazing…

  7. Shinydan Howells says:

    Simply fantastic. Balls of tungsten steel, right there. Thank you.

  8. Britni TheVadgeWig says:

    Guh. Thank you so much for posting this. I cried. A lot. I cried so much that I had to repost it on my own blog.

  9. Distracted says:

    Heavy sigh. Lots of tears. Thank you for sharing.

  10. green-eyed girl says:

    This made me feel pretty in a way that being seen only can. Thank you, Ivan.

  11. bzzzzgrrrl says:

    SO great. And you, and Ivan, are welcome. Just so's you know.

  12. gndrfuklvr says:

    Thank you! I cried and cried. I am a femme who some days hates being able to "pass". This lovely video has made it all worth it though!!! Thank you Ivan!!!!!

  13. Jay says:

    Brava! This is very much appreciated. From the very beginning I connected to every descriptor given. My butch and I watched it together, this is EXACTLY how she feels. I, myself, am grateful of the recognition of the unique struggles of being femme (i.e. "passing", perpetual coming out, invisibility to our own community, etc).

    I work hard to maintain my full body and stay perched in those stilettos.

    Lovely. Made me feel good about myself. :)

  14. femme in butch cloth says:

    Weeping! I think I read this piece somewhere but it's so wonderful to see it read out loud.

  15. Shannon says:

    I'm in awe. That was beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.

  16. Marie says:

    I was there! Ivan was simply amazing. So very moving to see him read live, no matter that I'd read this piece before. (And yes, he is so handsome. ;) )

  17. Kyle says:

    Though I've seen Ivan read this in person, seen it on youtube, read the essay myself.. every time, it makes me tear up. He's an amazing story teller and his honesty is an inspiration.

    plus I have complete butch envy for his haircut and clothes

  18. Claire says:

    Lovely :)

  19. CMM says:

    Thanks so much for this.

  20. Amanda says:

    Im a bit late to the game, but this was amazing. I want to have Ivan's babies!!

    Honestly speechless, and wanting to hear it again.

  21. Sarah M. says:

    Thank you so much for posting this! I've read this before and am about to tears hearing it out loud. My butch girlfriend and I went to the girl bar last night. It got me down…I get evil "what the hell is she doing here stares." While my girlfriend gets random conversations or smiles. It really killed me last night, in particular. We so rarely get to go out to the bar. We're nervous about walking into a straight bar around where we live. But, sometimes I'm tempted to give it a try since I get just as much discrimination at my own girl bar! If not worse…because it's my own friggin' community!!

    My loving girlfriend had the fortune to hear my rant. Thankfully, she is so very understanding.

    Anyway. I really needed to hear these words tonight. Thank you very much! It's such a confidence boost knowing that our butches are so proud to wrap their arms around a sweet hot femme! Thank you, again!

  22. Lizzy Kaelar says:

    Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Made me smile, and made me tear up too. Thank you for posting this!

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