accessing the protected posts

Posted on September 16, 2008 in colophon | 269 Comments

So the former password protection post is spilling over with requests. With the intention of me not missing requests for access to the password protected posts, this is the new post where you leave a comment.

It would be best if you left your website, too, even if it’s your myspace or facebook address, as I’d like to know you’re a real person. You can email that to me if you’d rather it not be published publically. It’s not a requirement, if you don’t have one, but I’d appreciate it, as these are very personal writings.

About the password protected posts:

They are primarily my personal journal entries: reflections on my relationships, and my real life sex stories. Sugarbutch started so that I could have a place to reflect on my relationship difficulties, which included the problems with my relationship with my ex where I wanted to be more butch (and wanted her to be more femme) but felt unsupported to explore that, and the problems we were having with sex, which was that we were having none. It evolved into a place where I processed my relationship with another girl that I immediately got involved with, and when that relationship ended spectacularly awfully, it has been chronicling my evolution back to myself, my committment to myself, my “aspiring stud”-ness in trying to get laid, and trying to get my shit together such that I can enter into a healthy, stable, positive, committed relationship again.

Meanwhile, though, it has been lots of gender theory. Lots. And some smut stories. Which are also fun.

And as I’ve gained a larger and larger readership, the personal stuff is entirely too exposed, so they have gone under password protection. I still want a place to write about my relationship evolutions, and I still love having writing and blogging as a medium to explore my own sense of self, so I tend to write a few of these a month.

So, if you’d like to read the personal posts, leave a comment at the beep and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

Beep.

Comments

269 Responses to “accessing the protected posts”

LC
September 16th, 2008 @ 1:59 pm

Hey. I think my blog is linked to my name on this comment, but my myspace is myspace.com/revkc31.

Hope everything is well with you. -lc
M
September 16th, 2008 @ 2:03 pm

I don't know how the facebook link works, but if you want to friend me, that's cool. I'm a total lurker who's been reading Sugarbutch for a long-ass time and never commented.

In case I never do again: you rock. I got all my friends hooked on you too.

Keep on keepin' on.
tansy
September 16th, 2008 @ 2:16 pm

Hey, I'd really love to read the password protected posts. If you need more info about my real personness, just ask.

I'm a new reader but really enjoying your blog.

:*
mayzface
September 16th, 2008 @ 2:19 pm

i just started reading your blog a few weeks ago, and i'm hooked. your writing is so honest, it's really helped me process through some confusing stuff lately. I'd love to be able to read the juicy bits as well! my name is mayzie, and i blog at mayzface.livejournal.com.

thanks, and keep up te good work!
Loaf
September 16th, 2008 @ 2:34 pm

I'd love to read your private entries, because I think it might help me process some of the same issues.
littlecastle
September 16th, 2008 @ 2:34 pm

i love your blog and would love to read more! thanks!
sarah
September 16th, 2008 @ 2:57 pm

i'd like to read! i've been reading for a couple months and your writing about gender has really helped me think about identity and naming.
pantherapardus
September 16th, 2008 @ 3:05 pm

I feel a little awkward about doing this, like I'm asking something rude: "Hi, you don't know me, but can I read your diary? Thanks!".

I will, however, bite the bullet, because I've really enjoyed your writing so far. *grin* I also heard your interview with Ellie, and you were wonderful. :)

So here's me requesting access to your protected posts, if that's okay with you. The website listed is my (relatively new) blog, and the email listed is valid. :)
Iasa
September 16th, 2008 @ 3:10 pm

I recently found your blog, and am really enjoying it. If you are in a generous mood, I'd like to be able to access the private posts as well.
Zofia
September 16th, 2008 @ 3:13 pm

I stumbled upon your posts quite by accident, and must say, just the brief time I've been reading, I've so enjoyed them. And learned so much, mainly about myself. It's been an exhilarating and eye-opening journey of revelation. So for that, I thank you, sweetie. And…I'm sorry I missed you when you visited Chicago!
Brook M
September 16th, 2008 @ 3:38 pm

I found your blog through a blog roll on one sex-positive blog or another, probably Figleaf's Real Adult Sex (http://realadultsex.com/). I've really enjoyed reading your public posts–you pack a lot of thought-provoking (and sexy) punch into each one. If it's okay with you, I'd love to read your protected posts as well.
r
September 16th, 2008 @ 4:15 pm

just recently discovered your site – your posts helped me realize i have a pretty intense spanking fetish! thanks from me and my gf..

definitely don't want to miss out on any future musings.
Lou
September 16th, 2008 @ 4:42 pm

*raises hand*

I started reading a few weeks ago (linked here from Feministing). I've gone through a lot of the archives and I'm hooked. Would love to read more. Thanks.
Joy
September 16th, 2008 @ 4:48 pm

I'm on Myspace and Facebook. Not sure how to link to Facebook, but my Myspace is above. I too am a lurker coming out with the personal post invitation request. I'm a femme in relationship with a woman who, while not self-identified as "butch" is definitely more androgynous. I'm also a grad student interested in gender theory among other things.
Dion
September 16th, 2008 @ 10:20 pm

I'd like to be able to read them, if you don't mind :)

D.
monstar
September 16th, 2008 @ 11:42 pm

Think I linked my facebook in the website bit.

I've been reading for some months now – since I found Sugarbutch while researching an essay on pegging and strapping-on. I'm a queer, mostly-cis but just a little genderfucked girl, an Australian student doing Arts/Law, majoring in gender and loving gender theory. Makes my head buzz. Just out of a breakup that sent me a little crazy.

And interested in password-protected posts because you write well and often your posts make me think of things I want to talk about with other genderfreaks. Unless you're feeling nerved out by all the requests and you want to say no. Because that's perfectly OK.

Claire
mia
September 17th, 2008 @ 2:24 am

i'd love to read more too. your blog makes this femme feel a little less isolated!

if that link doesn't work, just search for mia bayes on facebook to find me.
Dyke Tales
September 17th, 2008 @ 2:35 am

I had no idea that access to your protected posts was 'on request', if only I had known sooner (I'm a regular)… :-)
bee listy
September 17th, 2008 @ 4:29 am

i would also like to read more.

with love from another butch queer…
Aimee
September 17th, 2008 @ 4:43 am

Would love to read more! Thanks!
angelica
September 17th, 2008 @ 4:50 am

already have the password but here's my site just for kicks.
Jane
September 17th, 2008 @ 4:56 am

I love your writing. Right now I'm interested in the qualities of femaleness and malemness. And as always……emotional & sexual interaction. You are a delight to read about all of these.
LP's challenge
September 17th, 2008 @ 6:22 am

I've really enjoyed reading your blog and would like to continue being able to access the protected entries. I really enjoy how some entries make my mind go "hmm…" and others make my body go "mmmm…."

Keep up the great work!
Alecto
September 17th, 2008 @ 6:34 am

Hi, lurker here, love your public blog and would love to see the rest of it as well.
Ash
September 17th, 2008 @ 7:30 am

OK, tried to link to my facebook in the "website" space above, hope it worked, would love to read the protected posts, I adore your blog!
Honey
September 17th, 2008 @ 8:27 am

I've been reading you for a while. Reading your perspectives on the butch/femme aspects of a person have been greatly influential in my finding a better appreciation for my currently-femme self. I struggled long as hard as I went from a slightly-butch mostly-lesbian reality into a very fluid bisexual reality in which both men and women were a part of my sexual and romantic awareness. I worried for a long time that I had lost something, and suffered a great deal over the loss of support of my local lgbt community (turns out, the B is just there to be polite), but reading your blog prompted a lot of searching in myself, and I like what I've found. So, I'd love to read more- your writing is delightful, perceptive and often quite hot.
The Butterfly Temptr
September 17th, 2008 @ 8:31 am

Ok, so maybe this is a little odd. I have read for a long time, long before I linked to you or followed you on Twitter. So I'm letting you know I'd love to know more, read more about you and your life.

You are just that amazing.
nimi
September 17th, 2008 @ 8:58 am

i commented on the other page, but decided to leave another one here with my facebook link in the 'website' space.
Andi
September 17th, 2008 @ 10:05 am

Hi,

I found you through tongue-tied blue's blog. You are both inspiring writers. I have several sites online, but I'm realizing only my facebook is current. You can check out grosreis.blogspot.com, which is mine and the wife's. If you'd still like to see my facebook, you can do a search for my name (in my email above).

Thanks for offering this up. It can make for a raw experience when you open yourself up for all eyes.

Andi
Heather Ann
September 17th, 2008 @ 10:19 am

So very, very curious.
tec tonik
September 17th, 2008 @ 10:31 am

Hey, long-time lurker & definitely a real person. Definitely enjoy the public stuff, so would no doubt enjoy the protected stuff as well.
Caron
September 17th, 2008 @ 11:07 am

Hey, I'm Caron, I've been lurking here for a while and really enjoy reading your entries. Your blog's opened my eyes quite a bit, so thanks. :) I'd love to read more if that's cool with you. I have profiles at myspace.com/doktorc and 43things.com/person/evasion (I figure you're sharing your personal stuff with me so it's only fair I reciprocate).
WP
September 17th, 2008 @ 12:23 pm

Hi,

I discovered Sugarbutch Chronicles via Feministing. Evidently, I can't get enough. I don't have a website, but please let me know if there's any other way I can verify my identity.

Thank you, Mr. Sexsmith.
Suzi
September 17th, 2008 @ 12:56 pm

Hey,

I'd love to read your password protected posts if I may.

Hope you're well

Sx
Dana, herself
September 17th, 2008 @ 1:48 pm

Hello Mr. Sexsmith! :) I'd quite enjoy to read your protected posts :)
laura luna
September 17th, 2008 @ 2:20 pm

I would love to read your protected posts
Renee
September 17th, 2008 @ 2:35 pm

I would love to indulge your password-protected awesomeness. Please. With a cherry on top.
becky
September 17th, 2008 @ 2:58 pm

If we posted on the previous post, do we post here as well? Because I'd love to stay on the list!
Tammy
September 17th, 2008 @ 5:52 pm

would love to read more!
Lana
September 17th, 2008 @ 6:04 pm

I would love to read the more intimate posts. I haven't updated the livejournal I linked to in ages, but as I also just exited a relationship and will be doing a lot of musing trying to pull myself back together, perhaps I'll get back into it.

Thank you for your writing. It has helped me a lot as I tried to make the big decision about staying or leaving.
Shanna
September 17th, 2008 @ 8:52 pm

I'd love to view the password protected post.
Jade
September 17th, 2008 @ 10:16 pm

Pick me pick me!

I wanna be on the list, too!
Ryan
September 18th, 2008 @ 6:54 am

Hey, love your writings and the honest way in which you pose them. I'd love to read more juicy details!

Keep it up. (But we all know that's no problem for you!)
Mich
September 18th, 2008 @ 7:08 am

I'd enjoy reading your protected posts
Jess
September 18th, 2008 @ 9:37 am

New reader here, but love the blog too. Would love to read more.
carrot quinn
September 18th, 2008 @ 1:07 pm

Hey, I just found your blog, and it is absolutely blowing my mind. Thanks for writing it. I'm a genderqueer butch who rides freight trains and searches for meaning in this fucked-up world- you can read about it on my blog. And please add me to your list of readers for your protected posts!

-Carrot
JB
September 18th, 2008 @ 4:06 pm

would love to read some of your posts!

Am a real person, although it may be debated that someone not on Facebook or whatever else is a real person in this day and age.
A
September 18th, 2008 @ 8:04 pm

Thank you for your fantastic blog. I would ABSOLUTELY love to have access to more of your writing. I’m a new reader, but already a big fan of your work!

Thanks,
a
Sarah
September 18th, 2008 @ 10:05 pm

Hi Sinclair,

I’d love to read your protected entries, if you don’t mind. I’m a new-ish reader, but am eating up your words. Can’t get enough.
Sublimefemme
September 18th, 2008 @ 10:14 pm

Hi Sinclair,

I’m going to let you decide. If you’d like to share these posts with me and think I’d enjoy them, I’d certainly be interested in reading.
xo Sf
Tweyelite
September 18th, 2008 @ 9:46 pm

Holy replies batman! How e u ever going to keep up with sending out ur password?? lol

Interesting blog though, makes ppl think which is obviously y its so popular. So here's my request along with the many others..
jesse
September 19th, 2008 @ 5:54 am

Hey, it's Jesse. I'm pretty sure you know I'm a real person :) Share?
madcowfpb
September 19th, 2008 @ 4:53 pm

I also would love to read your protected posts. Is there an application form? Do I have to take a drug test? Not that that would be a problem?
Miz Chris
September 19th, 2008 @ 5:17 pm

I enjoy your journal. If you feel comfortable please add me!
Allie
September 20th, 2008 @ 1:07 am

Hi!

I'd really love to read your protected post
Megan
September 20th, 2008 @ 11:30 am

I love reading your blog! I've included my blog address…I'm not really the best blogger ever but I guess it will give you more insight to who I am and why I read your blog.

Thanks!!
ZenPirate
September 20th, 2008 @ 2:11 pm

My blog site is so old it is really a cobweb-site, but I have been reading your fascinating blog for about 2 months now and would love to see the password protected sites if you are open to sharing them with so many people.

BTW, love your recommendations on toys from both Babeland and Eden. Thanks for all you are doing. My girl seconds that.
AGmatsu
September 20th, 2008 @ 5:05 pm

I love your blog! I'm a new reader, but I'm a more than a little smitten; may I have more access?
Jamie
September 21st, 2008 @ 11:31 am

Send password.

Thanks
leigh
September 21st, 2008 @ 4:01 pm

I've become addicted to Sugarbutch – it's one of my daily reads. Would love to have access to the password protected post if that's alright by you. I included the link to my blog. :)
Becky
September 21st, 2008 @ 5:17 pm

Hey Sinclair!

I don't comment but I read regularly. It's one of my top fave reads. I'd love to be included…
Elizabeth
September 22nd, 2008 @ 11:09 am

I had requested to read your protected posts earlier, but I'm going to withdraw my request for now. Clearly you are swamped!

I enjoy reading your blog and will continue to do so. I was especially interested to read the current password protected one because the title is so intriguing. I'd like some insight into that topic!

Just fyi: I am a real person! I have a facebook account, a live journal blog and a blogspot blog. I also have a day job. And a girlfriend. And a grown up daughter. And pets. And a house.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with all of us. It is amazing to realize how vast this thing is…
Kimi
September 22nd, 2008 @ 2:43 pm

I'd love to have a password if that's ok. Your choice. Thanks for offering yourself to the net and to us.
Nichole
September 22nd, 2008 @ 4:17 pm

Hi there, I'm a fairly new reader to your blog, but would like to continue!

Nichole.
Lena
September 22nd, 2008 @ 4:19 pm

Hope you can let me in!
Celine
September 22nd, 2008 @ 5:45 pm

Hey, would love to read the passworded entries. Your writing has me hooked and these are the subjects I base a lot of my work around.
Neysa
September 23rd, 2008 @ 4:27 am

Hi. I would like to add my voice to the chorus. I have a lot to figure out myself, and your writing helps me.
z
September 23rd, 2008 @ 7:16 pm

most of my own stuff is friends-locked, but i would very much appreciate having the password to read yours. and of course, if you have an lj-account to read people's blogs, i'll add you there.

your work is HOT. thanks.
Christle
September 24th, 2008 @ 8:31 pm

I'm a fairly new reader but absolutely adore the gender theory, exploration and conversation going on here! I would love to read more about your personal journey, if you deem so. Thanks! :)
dyed
September 25th, 2008 @ 8:34 pm

hello! i've been reading for just over a year now, but i'm generally too shy to comment. sorry. but i'd love to get the password if i could =)
Sarah
September 26th, 2008 @ 4:37 pm

I love reading your page
Em
September 26th, 2008 @ 4:48 pm

Great writing :)

I know what you mean about NY – London is the same for me, as a north of England girl. Not so much to be myself as to figure out who I am at all.

Password would be awesome if that's alright with you. I hope you're not overwhelmed with all the requests. Thank you *very* much for your writing.
Francina
September 27th, 2008 @ 4:33 pm

I would love to read more. It's make me think and wonder some things about myself that I never have before.
SuperTex
September 27th, 2008 @ 10:06 pm

SS – found your site about a month ago, and i'm so glad i did! i'm more boi than butch, so i thought i was having gender issues whenever i fantasized about getting off as if i had a real cock. and then i read "intentionally alight" (sigh of relief).

mad props for your openness and honesty. i don't do facebook/myspace, but i'd appreciate it if i could have access to your password protected posts. thanks!
Sara
September 28th, 2008 @ 9:33 pm

I'd love to have a password. I have been reading on and off over the summer and am so happy I found your site. I share a lot of what I read here with my partner – it makes us both think and I love how I get it even more when I tell her something I read and she says, 'Yep, that's me'.

Oh, and I love the smut!
julie
September 29th, 2008 @ 9:07 am

I'd love to read more. Please give me the password!
Mossie
September 29th, 2008 @ 10:04 am

Chicory at anaccidentofhope.com turned me on to your site a few days ago and I'm playing catch-up. Would appreciate your password as I am a real person with no ill motives.
Sutton
September 29th, 2008 @ 11:46 pm

I love your blog. I ‘discovered’ it this summer and I’ve been coming back almost daily since. I’m a femme and for a long time felt like I was not ‘a real lesbian’ because of my girliness. Your blog actually helped me get over that and start to celebrate who I am. I really like the smut too so I’m hoping you’ll share the password with me as well.
Shev
September 30th, 2008 @ 11:13 am

Hey,

I love your blog, for so many reasons, but I think most of those reasons can be summed up in your 'About Me' section. It's really refreshing to read a perspective on queer identities, and the hotness of the butch/femme dynamic in a way that actually reflects the life and people that I know.
Lila
September 30th, 2008 @ 2:07 pm

I love this blog and I'd like very much to read your more intimate selections.
Sakura
October 8th, 2008 @ 4:04 pm

I would love to read anything you write!
Bettina
October 14th, 2008 @ 7:39 am

hello,

i'm a new-ish reader. i love blogs on gender, sexuality, food, academia, and fat acceptance. i love them so much that i now study them. (an aside: don't really have a blog of my own, unless you count LJ, but i don't think they're really in the same genre.)

anyhow, i'd love to read your password protected entries.
Bettina
October 14th, 2008 @ 7:41 am

sorry to comment again; i forgot to leave myspace/facebook/LJ links.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=...

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=u...

http://ohbettinadear.livejournal.com/
roxanne
October 14th, 2008 @ 8:44 pm

Love your blog, you’ve helped me through some of my own issues with gender and sexuality. Would love to read the protected posts as well.
Laura
October 15th, 2008 @ 6:43 am

Would love to read more. :}
Malcolm Hardwell
October 16th, 2008 @ 6:32 am

Would love to read the protected posts; I found your site through Holden's (Packing Vocals) and am enjoying it tremendously.
d
October 16th, 2008 @ 10:04 am

came for the maddow post, stayed for the rest.
Sarah
October 16th, 2008 @ 12:02 pm

Your writing has piqued my interest. But you have left me wanting more.

I am a queer femme who just moved to NYC and your blog has left me anxious to begin my exploration of the butches in this big city.

Mr. Sexsmith, can I have your password? I'm rapidly becoming a Sugarbutch slut.
Safo Garcia
October 16th, 2008 @ 2:41 pm

Sinclair,

We have two things in common: using theory and reviewing at Eden. You make the theory accessible and appealing, which is the highest form of sexiness in my book. I'd love to have the password for your more intimate posts.

Besos

SG
Jane
October 16th, 2008 @ 7:45 pm

It would be great if I could read your protected posts. I do love your writing and your thinking.

And here is my (new) poetry blog to which I added your blog's RSS Feed to my blog's sidebar; http://birdielou.wordpress.com.

I just got an odd confirmation email from you, so my fingers are crossed that my name is up in your line of folks to approve.
Sarah
October 18th, 2008 @ 2:31 am

I came here cause somebody linked to your rachel maddow post. your blog is the most interesting thing I've read in ages. and I would like to read all of it. I filled in my LJ address under website.
Elizabeth
October 20th, 2008 @ 1:13 pm

Hey Slick!

You sent me an email with a link to confirm access… but it doesn't work!

Can we try again?

Thanks!
Teresa
November 27th, 2008 @ 7:13 am

If you might share your password with me, I would be ever grateful.
Melissa
November 28th, 2008 @ 4:18 pm

Hello! I love your blog and would like to read the password protected posts.

Thanks!
Calico
November 28th, 2008 @ 4:59 pm

Me please. :)
Pratima
November 29th, 2008 @ 1:38 am

love your writing and your site. it is rapidly becoming one of my favorites. password please? pretty please?

i put in my xanga linked to my name, but i haven’t written there for a long while.
here is my facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=8813655&ref=name
luciana light
November 29th, 2008 @ 7:24 pm

good evening sir,

so very glad i stayed home with a fever and discovered your writings.

may i please see more?

much appreciated,

luci
Julie
November 30th, 2008 @ 4:30 am

I love your writing! Reading your thoughts on gender theory is helpful. I talk about it all the time and have pushed friends and family to check you out.

And I would love to read the password protected stuff.

Thanks.
Tina
November 30th, 2008 @ 10:03 pm

Hi! Stumbled upon your site… your recent post on "a girl: my future wife" really moved me. I'd appreciate it if I could read more of your work. Great stuff!
Mariella
December 1st, 2008 @ 6:05 am

Pretty please?
riese
December 1st, 2008 @ 7:01 am

password! i want password!
Tieara
December 1st, 2008 @ 11:44 am

I would love to have access to the protected posts. I only found your site a few months ago and fell in love your writings. I totally get it. (a real hello the the soul of me) It's great to read something that I get and in some odd way…..gets me.

Just in case… http://www.myspace.com/earthygrrl
Taylor
December 1st, 2008 @ 12:27 pm

It would be awesome if i could get the password, please and thank you.

if you need it – http://www.myspace.com/herbyrocks
Rachel W
December 1st, 2008 @ 3:38 pm

Hey Sinclair. Love reading your blog, and would love to have access to the protected posts. Found your site first through my friend Miriam at Feministing. No blog or website of my own to share, but if that changes I'll let you know. Peace.
milwaukeefemme
December 1st, 2008 @ 7:48 pm

who wouldn't want to read the password protected stuff? it's so exciting to have the chance to read something private. very sexy.
N
December 2nd, 2008 @ 5:27 pm

Hey darling..would love to read your protected posts….here is my blog if you haven't checked it out already, http://www.thevaginaadventures.com

It's really because I want to see that outtake of the calendar party you so prematurely posted on Twitter…giggles
kacee
December 3rd, 2008 @ 4:58 pm

i love your blog… and your philosophies are quiet intresting to those of us that are younger. I would love to read more
Sam Brennan
December 3rd, 2008 @ 5:08 pm

That's my work site but I also have a facebook page as well which you can find by searching. Love the blog! Thanks for sharing.
Meghan
December 3rd, 2008 @ 6:42 pm

Hey, I just found you through Waking Vixen and would love to read more. (I hope I did the facebook thing right…)
Lilly
December 3rd, 2008 @ 7:19 pm

Well, I think you know I would like to read more….
Sid
December 3rd, 2008 @ 7:34 pm

I would love to read more…pretty, pretty, please. I promise I'll be good.
Jessica
December 3rd, 2008 @ 8:34 pm

Ok, I think I may have a little writer-crush on you! ;) Your words leave me wanting more…can I please have the password? Thanks for the stimulating entries.
M.E. Parker
December 3rd, 2008 @ 9:30 pm

I would like to read the protected pieces.

I have no website, but I'm happy to send a personal check.

Teacher's salary, so anything over $20 would be prohibitive.

Gracias.
Hanna
December 3rd, 2008 @ 10:52 pm

Your blog gives me hope of a way to be one day. Love the blog, would love to read all the posts. Get back to me when you can. Thanks!
Taylor
December 4th, 2008 @ 5:17 pm

I would love to read more of your work.

Thanks,

Taylor
Roxy Redd
December 4th, 2008 @ 11:21 pm

Sinclair–

Enjoying your site and your posts. As of yet, I have no website of my own, but am eager to read more of your posts should you see fit to grant me the password. I’m a butch/FTM/GQ-lovin’ queer poly LeatherFemme Switch sex educator/writer, most recently published in the anthology, “Focus on the Fabulous: Colorado GLBT Voices,” under my birth name, Debra A. Myers.

Merci Beaucoup,

oxoRoxy
Suse
December 5th, 2008 @ 9:37 am

I'm a total sugarbutch addict. I don't have facebook anymore, cos I work at a University, and I'm a little wary about separating work-life from personal-life…

<!– But in the spirit of the reciprocal disclosure of intimate affairs between strangers, here's something raw and personal (and warning: rude) from my screen to yours…

The last first time.

June 23, 2007. Toronto

We are flushed limbs, ragged breath

A tangle-blur of urgency and twisted sheets

Interminable months of yearning

crammed greedily into RIGHT NOW

Cervix deep I can feel your heart beating

The whorl of my finger tips throbbing with you

You are molten velvet against my palm

Your jaggedy tooth grazing my lips

And then she arches left

reaching for gleaming new leather

My breath catches in my throat

"Have you used this before?"

"No. I've never had it used it on me"

And she demonstrates with nimble fingers

How to truss her limbs akimbo

And how best to fuck her

It is only afterwards that I think to ask:

"Have you used it on someone else?"

The first last time:

August 11, New York

"Come down here -

I like it when you're close to me".

I shift forward with a smile,

bringing my breasts to rest on hers,

my nipples brushing against cool metal

as I lean in to kiss her.

Everything slows. . .

The air grows heavy

and humid with desire:

Butterfly wings, beating.

And then she says

(from her director's chair)

"Why aren't you moving your hips?"

"YOU NEED TO MOVE YOUR HIPS."

I feel myself shrinking.

The room rushes in.

And I freeze:

Emasculated, vulnerable, small.

The molten certainty of desire

now ashen-ember-dust

shimmering briefly in the light

now gone.

III. The last time:

August 15. Toronto

And now she says

"I love you".

And she fucks me

on the side of the bath.

And when I come

I cry and I stay

wrapped around her.

And then her fingers curl round Blue

and she says

"We can do it like this."

And then she fucks herself

(because, she says, this is not something I can do for her any longer)

I am on my knees in the tub

and the water's getting cold

and it feels like she's already gone.

So I say, "I'll try anything once"

and I hold her gaze

and I take Blue in my mouth

latex bruising the back of my throat

And she says, after

all husky honey dust

"It was like you were fucking me with your mouth."

And I wonder whether this is a compliment or an accusation.

–>
sharon
December 5th, 2008 @ 9:09 pm

I've been reading your blog for over a year and would love to get more insight ……. keep up the great work!! If you need more info from me just let me know…. I don't have a blog or website …….. I look foward to getting the password………… Thanks Again Sharon
goodbadgirl
December 5th, 2008 @ 9:45 pm

Your writing is so remarkably intimate already. I am curious about your password protected posts, and I feel a little like a dirty trick in asking for it.

I write about many similar things. I like your courage and your style and I would be happy to send links to my own published poems and stories to make this whole thing a little less one-sided.

Sometimes I love it and sometimes it turns me on ferociously and sometimes I hate it. I think you're really onto something here kid. :)

Keep it up,

Frances
Kat
December 7th, 2008 @ 8:28 am

I would love to read more of you.

thank you.
Jo
December 7th, 2008 @ 1:16 pm

I suppose it's silly – how long I've spent trying to get this message to sound just right.

You're an inspiration. My favourite blogger. My best teacher.

I would love to read more.

x
Cravatica
December 7th, 2008 @ 6:06 pm

I would love to have access to the protected posts. As a femme bisexual woman, butch women are who I am mostly attracted to. I so enjoy reading about the butch/femme dynamic and learning about your perspective on gender and sexuality. I especially enjoyed the post about butch/femme vs. top/bottom and how one does not necessarily equal the other.

Keep up the hot writing! And thank you so much for sharing it with us. (my website is included above, although the viewable posts are old, I have been "locking" my recent posts to keep some aspect of privacy.)
nanc
December 7th, 2008 @ 8:19 pm

i'm a fan of yours on your facebook. would love to read more of your stuff. i am a butch dyke who is very into femme women, and who couldn't stand to learn more?? please send me your password

nanc m
Expat Femme
December 7th, 2008 @ 11:40 pm

An old lover pointed me in your direction. I like what I've seen, and with your permission, would like to see more.

Kindest regards…
Feline
December 8th, 2008 @ 1:00 pm

I absolutely love this site, such a lovely mix, such thoughtful writing, filthy smut, butch eye candy – what more could a girl want – except for even more of it of course! Could I please have access to the password protected posts? (I realise you don't know me at all and am happy to answer any questions about myself you may have, I'm going to email you my facebook and other personal pages right now as I prefer not to make them public)

thank you so much for your writing, it is very much appreciated!

xxx
kk first
December 8th, 2008 @ 10:11 pm

I have no idea how I got linked to your site by reading an article about relationship from msn. Anyway, I am so inspired by the stories you wrote and would definitely like to read more of your writings. I have also used some of the terms I learned from your writings while texting my girlfriend and that does cheer her up a lot on a busy working day(I didn't quote the messages and i hope this does not count as plagiarism). BTW, I'm from Hong Kong. You do have fans from around the world.
lizzy
December 10th, 2008 @ 1:59 pm

Hi there-Got to your site through a link on Lesbian Dad's blog. Would love to be able to read the protected posts if you wouldn't mind….Thanks so much!
EarthGirl
December 11th, 2008 @ 8:59 am

I can't remember how I found your blog, but have been an infrequent reader for a while now. I'm always impressed with your thought processes and honesty. I would like to read some of the password-protected posts.

Your writing is indeed appreciated, as are your contributions to my own internal reflections.

Best.
Elena
December 11th, 2008 @ 12:48 pm

I don't have a website, but I've been readign your blogs for a few months now and I'd really love to read the "protected" ones. =]
tessa
December 11th, 2008 @ 10:01 pm

hi sinclair,

i've been reading your current writing for a few months and would love to be able to read more of your archived posts. as someone who has a major in feminist studies, it's doubly sweet to see the theory undergirding the pleasure and vice versa. thanks for your writing,

tessa
Sandra
December 12th, 2008 @ 12:55 pm

would love to read more of your writing.

thank you
Annie
December 12th, 2008 @ 7:34 pm

Hi, Learning a lot from what Ive read! Would really be great to be able to read all all you write about.

Phew! Cant imagine it could get BETTER! Thanks!
Julie H
December 14th, 2008 @ 7:24 pm

love love love the way you write and am itchin' to read more. i'm a real person. search my email addy on facebook and add me why don't 'ya?
Secret City Girl
December 14th, 2008 @ 8:24 pm

Like all the others who have commented before me, I really like your writing. Please let me in on the magic word?

Thanks.
Delicate Torture
December 15th, 2008 @ 12:50 pm

HI Sinclair,

I've just started reading your blog and am fascinated with the way that you write – there is such an almost visceral feel to your observations which I am greatly enjoying. I've been writing for a long time but am still trying to find my real voice.

I came across your blog in a similar fashion – trying to find the 'real voice' of my sexuality. As much as I try to rail against labels, they do give us something to start from when trying to understand ourselves and get to know others. I'm gay. I have a long held interest in BDSM and Dominance and submission. I used to be a Domme, but always topped men and had 'vanilla but playful' relationships with women. Over the last few years I have discovered a have much more of an interest in bottoming. I'm in a relationship (currently 7 years and still wonderfully delightful) with a bi woman who is also interested in Dominance and submission. We decided on having an open relationship within a certain set of rules and so far it has worked for us… although now we find ourselves in a new position as I am now bottoming for her (male) Dom.

Do you need a flowchart yet?

But even though it seems so convoluted and I'm sure that there are people reading this who are just sighing because they think that I'm falling into the trap of a somewhat socially 'acceptable' relationship (Male, at the head of the relationship with a female bottom… even if there is another female in there with it all) it is SO totally working for us.

I've started to realise through reading your blog and really thinking about it all, that it is other people's perceptions of the relationships I have that I'm trying to answer, and not my own questions. I'm happy to float along for the ride in a threesome that is surprisingly functional (in spite of the mess the flow chart might seem – lol) because I don't think that adding more love to something can ever really be a mistake. No matter what flavour that love comes in.

So, thank you for helping me understand more about the way my bizarre life is working out, and helping me to enjoy it more through that understanding.

The next time my girlfriend (who comes from Brooklyn, but now lives with me in Australia) and I go to the US to visit family, I would love to buy you a beer. You're brilliant!

~Jo-Anne.
Clair
December 15th, 2008 @ 2:37 pm

I'm femme, love your writing, and really *really* need more…
runningawaywiththesp
December 16th, 2008 @ 7:35 am

I would like to request access to your protected posts. I understand why you chose to limit access, so appreciate your consideration of my request. Thank you.
Rachel
December 16th, 2008 @ 7:56 pm

i’ve been reading your site for a couple of months. I’m a gender studies geek, a tomboy that never really grew into another role and an admirer of butch women. Every time I come here I seem to learn a little more about myself and the women I love, so I thank you for that.
Oh, and My Father’s Son did things to me I haven’t begun to explain yet. It’s beautiful.
But yes, I’m grateful to read anything you’ll let me look at.
xx
malloreigh
December 22nd, 2008 @ 7:46 am

Hey… I'd really love to read your password-protected posts. I feel strange asking because I don't know you, but I assume that most of these people don't. Anyway. I am real. I also have a MySpace that I don't really use:
http://www.myspace.com/franklyshellfish
Ramsey
December 22nd, 2008 @ 8:34 pm

I would love to be able to read more. Thanks
Jennie
December 23rd, 2008 @ 7:27 pm

i’ve enjoyed reading your posts and I would like to be able to read the protected ones if that’s ok. :)
Zai
December 24th, 2008 @ 3:22 am

Password, please :D Your posts are phenomenal.
DolphynGyrl
December 26th, 2008 @ 7:14 am

Me, please.

Thank you. :)
Wilhelmina
December 26th, 2008 @ 9:09 pm

Hello – been reading for a while and very much enjoy your writing, so would love to read more.

Blog: http://bipoly.wordpress.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/wilhelminawang

And I'm on FetLife under 'wilhelmina'

Thank you :)
Christina
December 27th, 2008 @ 4:26 am

I'm femme and love your writing – would love to read your private, password protected thoughts also :-)

Am on myspace as melb_femme
Caitlin
December 27th, 2008 @ 11:34 am

Hi Sinclair,

I have been reading your blog for a few months and really enjoy it. I am discovering all of the great femme blogs out there and was happy to add a butch blog to the my daily reading.

I am also being published in teh Femmethology next year (in fact, I think we are in the same volume.) My personal myspace page is here: http://www.myspace.com/queersouthernfemme and my public one for burlesque is here: http://www.myspace.com/LydiaLibertine

Let me know if you want any more info and thanks for the good reading!

Caitlin
FlitterAway
December 28th, 2008 @ 8:19 am

Hey! Just started reading… I'm loving everything I'm reading! Please include me too!!!
Heather Spaulding
December 29th, 2008 @ 5:59 pm

a past "Daddy" of mine turned me onto Your site….i love it…i no longer have Her, but would love to have access to read more. may i please have access to the rest of Your site?

thank You.
Sammi
December 30th, 2008 @ 11:41 am

Hello,

I'd love to be able to read the protected posts, too. I put a link to my journal in the 'website' box, but my myspace is here also: http://www.myspace.com/polysymbiosis
Marian
December 31st, 2008 @ 2:56 pm

Hi, I'm a real person. I'd like to read the protected posts. I'm a

femme, and very interested in questions of gender identity.

Thanks.
Alexa
January 1st, 2009 @ 1:50 pm

hey there… this is the first comment i leave you but i certainly hope it's not the last… i really like your blog, i've even been reading other blogs that keep sending me back to yours… and i have to admit that i'm pretty curious of those protected posts… here's my myspace link: http://www.myspace.com/rock22chic
l_e
January 3rd, 2009 @ 5:30 pm

my curiosity is piqued.
Aerin
January 4th, 2009 @ 4:07 pm

Thank you for the captivating smut . . . and all the rest as well. A password would be well used, if you are so inclined.
pdubeu
January 5th, 2009 @ 10:22 am

love your blog!
Dane
January 6th, 2009 @ 9:11 am

I'd love to read whatever else you've got here. It's addictive. And hot.
springbound
January 7th, 2009 @ 12:40 pm

Love what I've read so far! Thanks so much!
lesbowannabe
January 7th, 2009 @ 8:07 pm

Hi!

Just found your site a few weeks ago! I love it! I'd like access to the password protected stuff!
rodin
January 8th, 2009 @ 7:36 pm

Hi

I'd like to read the protected posts please

Thanks
Kelly
January 8th, 2009 @ 9:53 pm

i’d love to read more. Feel free to add me if you have a facebook.

-kelly
p
January 12th, 2009 @ 6:05 pm

*beep*

Hi Sinclair, this is P…I've been reading your blog for a few months now, and I would love to read more. I'm real, although my blog is just getting started, so come check me out if you get a chance (or facebook me, google, etc.). Your insights on gender roles, sexuality, feminism, and life in general jive with my own perspective, and its always nice to find kindred spirits in the world. Rock on.
zebra
January 14th, 2009 @ 4:27 pm

I'm a femme, and I found you a couple of months ago. I love both your smut and theory, so I figure the protected posts can only be better, and I'd like to read them.
j
January 21st, 2009 @ 4:16 pm

i wrote many weeks ago and gave you my Myspace page, but I forgot to leave a message here… so please, I'd like to read the protected posts. Thanks!
Sweetnyss
January 23rd, 2009 @ 5:00 am

Well, I found you via Fetlife, and Ive only read for about 30 minutes, but I love what Ive seen, and I would love to see more. Ive linked my fetlife page (I hope) and if youd like myspace and whatnot, I can do that too. Blessed be….
May
January 29th, 2009 @ 11:03 am

Hi. I've been enjoying your blog and would like to be able to see the protected posts. Thanks!
Crystal
January 29th, 2009 @ 2:06 pm

This has quickly become one of my favorite blogs to read. It's pretty much the most amazing thing ever. :)

Thank you in advance!

- Crystall
kate
January 29th, 2009 @ 2:31 pm

i've been reading for a few months and now finally found where to request the password… thanks!
Emily
January 29th, 2009 @ 9:06 pm

I am a real human and you can feel free to email me, I just didn't want my site published. I just came across your blog and it is exactly what I have been missing in my readings on the internet.
Jen
January 30th, 2009 @ 4:29 pm

I've been reading (and loving) your blog for a while… password protected posts would be wonderful!! Sign me up… please?

Jen
Emma
January 30th, 2009 @ 7:10 pm

I have a facebook page so you can verify I'm a real person.

Just started reading a few days ago, and can't seem to tear myself away from any of it–smut or otherwise. Please let me unlock the rest! Cheers,

E
Miss Ida
February 2nd, 2009 @ 11:49 am

To say I enjoy your blogs is a great understatement.

Thank you for sharing these writings with us.

Xoxo,

Miss Ida
Lindsey
February 3rd, 2009 @ 6:00 am

I discovered your website a month ago, and I have been an avid reader ever since. I happened to discover it just as my girlfriend and I began playing with power dynamics and consent, and it has been so inspiring and hot. I would love to read everything that you've written on your site.

xoxo
Thorne
February 6th, 2009 @ 10:30 pm

Greetings! I just found your blog and am loving it already! Relationships and self exploration are of very high interest and importance to me, being a 47 year old femme lesbian (who finally discovered my true self only 5 years ago) who is in a relationship of love and monogamy with the butch I have loved for over 20 years! I would appreciate being privy to your private writings, as I so appreciate the content and quality of the rest of your blog.

Namaste
lifewithoutborders
February 11th, 2009 @ 8:34 pm

I would love to read your more personal blogs.
Nina
February 13th, 2009 @ 10:28 am

You're blog inspires the femme within me. Feeling how much I want to be Kristen makes me realize what kind of a dyke I truly am/want to be. I just the kind of hot butch I want to be with.

Thanks.
Jane
February 16th, 2009 @ 5:19 pm

I am a real person and really enjoy your blog. Thank you.

A password would be great.
lizzy
February 17th, 2009 @ 1:59 am

Hi,

I’d really love to read your personal post.

If you need more info about my real personness, just ask.

Thanks.
Amreen
February 20th, 2009 @ 2:07 pm

Hi there,

I'd also like to get the password. I started reading your blog a few weeks ago, and I'm already burning through the archives, so I would love to read more.

I promise I'm a real person; you can search for me in Facebook to verify (my name is in my email address).

Thanks!
Laura
February 20th, 2009 @ 4:37 pm

I stumbled across Sugarbutch….now i don't know what i would do without it! i would be as pleased as sexy, sexy punch to have the password. :D

<3
Kit Lang
February 21st, 2009 @ 2:20 pm

Hi there,

A friend of mine who's a regular reader of yours sent me here today. I've read… perhaps 15 of your public posts and love your voice, your introspection, what you have to say and your willingness to share yourself with the world.

In that spirit, Hi, 'm Kit. I'm a queer Femme in Toronto, Canada, came out in 1983, and came out again as femme ten years later. I've been a lot of things over the years, in my present incarnation, I'm a happily married femme-as-gender queer, who works in law, has left activsim as a career behind, but occasionally has to nevertheless, make noise about something. You won't find that at my blog, which is exclusively about one of my (rather odd) passions, quilting, but if you'd like as much insight into my personal life as you give us here, you can also find me at kits-meow.livejournal.com. Although that's a friends only journal, let me know who you are (if you're at livejournal) and I'll give you access. Seems only fair. (Although I'm far less interesting!) :)
Will
February 21st, 2009 @ 3:58 pm

Hey! I'd love to read your blog through completely, if it's okay, I'd like the pass for the personal posts :). I'm sure I'd miss some interesting interplay between your articles and your personal life if I didn't!
Politico
February 25th, 2009 @ 2:16 pm

Sinclair,

I have been reading your blog for several months now and have never been disappointed. I have read references to your past relationship which suffered from a bad case of LBD and well, am going through that scenario myself. I find all of your writings thought provoking (some more thoughts are more intellectual while others lean more to the carnal).

I don't have a website, as I am a 40 something middle aged butch but hope you will take pity on me.
Hayden
February 25th, 2009 @ 5:33 pm

Saw you read at Blue Stockings, amazing… I would love to see all of your entries if possible. I, um, was the tall blonde girl wiggling in the back. Anyway, this site is beautiful, I am looking forward to reading more.

Thank you,

hayden
Sapphicslave
February 26th, 2009 @ 3:28 pm

I would really like to read more of what you've written. Ive read all I can find in the last few days since I found this site (from Fetlife.com) and am starving for more. Seems like everything you write has happened at some point in my head already…but from "her" POV. Its really amazing to see it in words.
K
February 28th, 2009 @ 2:35 am

Hi Sinclair,

I love your site and especially your stories. I am a femme who dreams daily of the adventures you write about. Please, please, please, the password for the private areas of the site! And if ever you are Downunder, look me up.

x
d
March 4th, 2009 @ 9:43 am

I just discovered your blog and have devoured every unprotected post already. You're incredible and basically who I want to be when I grow up. I'd like to respectfully request the password to your more inner workings. thanks!
minib
March 4th, 2009 @ 10:09 am

Curiosity is getting the better of me and I would love to read more of what you have written.

myspace.com/almostsure
Emily
March 4th, 2009 @ 10:55 am

Sinclair,

I love your blog! Your posts are always interesting and informative!

I would love to be able to read the private posts as well!

Thanks and much love

Em
Ames
March 4th, 2009 @ 1:36 pm

Just found your blog and really enjoy it. Password for protected posts would be much appreciated…

Thanks,

Ames
G Funk
March 4th, 2009 @ 3:42 pm

I just started reading your site. I think it's great and to be honest I wish I had the ability to mold words the way that you do.

Wow…can't wait for more.

G
m h
March 5th, 2009 @ 3:44 pm

dear sinclair,

thank you for this incredible space. you make an older, femme-identified, activist feminist girl flush. i'd gladly beg for a password, if necessary.
A
March 6th, 2009 @ 1:23 pm

incredible blog. please add me.
rob
March 7th, 2009 @ 3:20 pm

It's refreshing to come across a butch that speaks hir mind freely as you do. Please grant me access in your password protected posts. And please keep it up!

Thankful,

r
Katelyn
March 10th, 2009 @ 11:35 am

I've been reading your blog for a while now and would really be honored if you would allow me to read the protected posts. My facebook site, so you can know I'm a real person is: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=...
CM
March 12th, 2009 @ 12:45 pm

I'd love to view your password protected writings. What I've already read of your blog is inspiring enough – I can't imagine what else there is. To be more specific, I am a femme in a committed relationship and my butch is really enjoying your writing. We're both enjoying the naughty bits, but she seems to be getting a lot of comfort from reading your personal experiences.

I don't have a website either, having quit social networking recently, but if you email me I can send you a link to my partner's business site- it would be totally inappropriate to post it here.
North
March 13th, 2009 @ 4:14 am

I'd love a password, if you get to it. Email me if you'd like my real name as well.
Mel
March 13th, 2009 @ 10:59 pm

I don't have a blog, but I'm enjoying reading yours and would love a password. I promise I'm a real, nonstalker girl.
Pam
March 14th, 2009 @ 2:46 pm

Been reading your blog for a while now and love it! It's helping my wife and I explore our sex life a little too – we needed something hot, we've been together for 14 years! (Not that it's not hot, don't get me wrong!) Would love a password for the protected posts:) My facebook page is http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id...
Hannah
March 15th, 2009 @ 10:45 pm

I would love the password to the protected posts out of sheer respectful curiosity.
Mia
March 19th, 2009 @ 9:28 am

I would love to have the password. I'm real, I promise.
Diane
March 19th, 2009 @ 4:33 pm

hey sinclair, i'm just coming out as a lesbian and am fairly clueless, which from what i read is pretty typical. what is a lonely lesbian to do? help! i need instruction! your blog does that and so much more. do you think you might want to share your password with me? i, too, am for real…
Dana
March 19th, 2009 @ 7:57 pm

Hi, I love your writing and have been using it as a reference point for my own self exploration.

if you would send me the password that would be the best.
Ani
March 20th, 2009 @ 8:17 am

Hi,

I am a queer, smarty pants, femme who drinks too much diet coke. My night stand is burdened under the weight of my books. I have been reading your site for a while now and would very much appreciate having access to your protected posts. I am at a cross roads in my own life and your words are helpful.

Thanks,

Ani
Alicia
March 20th, 2009 @ 11:30 am

I love love love this site may I please have a password
Spencer
March 22nd, 2009 @ 11:19 am

Hi,

My name is Spencer. I am a butch who has been with my femme partner for over five years… I have been reading what you have posted on your site for quite a while and would quite like to read your protected posts. Your words have been helpful for me in my life.

Thanks,

Spencer
L
March 22nd, 2009 @ 11:31 am

i love reading your writing–smut's delicious–but as someone who's written and thought and dreamed and tortured herself way too much over that first love, (or at least that ex who pops up…still) i'd love to read that stuff.

thank you.

you are so great.
Mirea
March 22nd, 2009 @ 1:14 pm

Hi,

I am a femme married to a butch. Your blog is enlightening,

to say the very least. Would you mind sharing your password

with someone who is taking notes for her own anticipated

pleasure?

Thanks,

Mirea
Shauntee
March 23rd, 2009 @ 9:09 am

Hi, I have been reading your site for a while. I am considered a "stud" and I am often mistaken for a boy. Reading your words helps me to make sense of my sometimes 'unreal reality'. If you would be so kind, would you please let me have the password? Thanks
Dawn
March 23rd, 2009 @ 11:17 am

I love reading your blog. Can you please forward me the password to the protected spaces.

Thanks!
Erin
March 23rd, 2009 @ 2:44 pm

Found you through queer eye candy a couple of months ago and have thoroughly enjoyed everything.. from the gender talk to the incredibly hot smut. Please send me the password for your protected entries.

Thanks so much :)

Erin
joe
March 23rd, 2009 @ 4:49 pm

Hey,

I am Joe. I have been a silent read of your site for a couple of months now and i have it was an eye opener. I hope that now I understand some gender issues better than I did before. I think your wirting is helpful and entertaining at the same time. Thank you for sharing with us your experiences and thoughts.

I would love to be able to read your 'protected' journal enties as well!

Thank you and take care!
LexiKay
March 23rd, 2009 @ 8:34 pm

Hey there,

I love your site and what you write about! Would love a password to read your work. I am a queer writer and a playwright.

thankyou for considering me!
gill
March 25th, 2009 @ 8:12 am

new to the internet world, I love your site. I love the gender focus and the truly great sex talk. would like to read more!

thanks
Setya
March 25th, 2009 @ 6:39 pm

I find your posts endlessly interesting and beautiful.

I'd love to be able to read more. Many thanks.
Jackson
March 26th, 2009 @ 1:36 am

As a young butch trying to figure out what goes where in the world, I find your writings be very empowering. I would love to be able to explore further your prose and commentary. It can be quite difficult to find media that really celebrates the butch/femme dynamic and I applaud you for doing so. While I would enjoy being able to read more of your posts, I would wholeheartedly understand if you would prefer to keep the password to yourself. Happy writing!
jumping over the moo
March 26th, 2009 @ 1:42 pm

may i please have your password?
Leah
March 26th, 2009 @ 7:32 pm

As a freshly minted dyke struggling with her gender identity, I came here in search of a positive butch influence and was not disappointed. I would love to get on that password list, if you would have me.
H
March 28th, 2009 @ 10:06 pm

I love the application of gender studies to life, where theory is practice and influences theory, again. And I'd be lying if I didn't say I was here for the kinky smut, too.

Thanks. I think you're just great.
Shawn
March 29th, 2009 @ 11:40 am

I've been loving reading your posts, particularly as someone with a pretty tenuous grasp of my own gender. Your writing is beautiful and I'd really like to read more. (sorry but I don't have any internet presence to link to – I promise I'm a real person, though!)
pepper
March 30th, 2009 @ 5:01 am

i´m femme and i love your writing….

it would be great pleasure for me to read more.
Kissiah
April 1st, 2009 @ 7:45 am

Hi, I'd love to read the protected posts please. I promise I'm a real live femme!

Peace,

Kissiah
Rose
April 1st, 2009 @ 2:23 pm

Please may i have your password i love your writings
molly
April 2nd, 2009 @ 10:22 am

Can I please have the password to the protected posts? Your blog is one of my favorites to read and reflect on.

I don't have a website, but I'm definitely a real live person.

Thanks for writing!!
Shannon
April 16th, 2009 @ 1:08 am

I am leaving you my cooking website/blog because… well… I like it, and you might too, but mostly because my new website reflecting on MY lesbian life/my felings/and erotica is not up and functioning yet. I have the URL and it’s hosted, I just need to get some content written.. but of course I work a full time sales job…

One day you too will be able to go to my lesbian centric site as well!

I appreciate being given any glimpse into another lesbian relationship and sex life as I have just been forced to end a 9 year relationship due to unforseen circumstances which will come to light on my new blog…

Thank you!

Shannon
Becky
April 16th, 2009 @ 6:30 am

Your writing really touches me, I would love the password to your blog as I can’t actually wait to read some more!!

I don’t have a website either, (working on that one at the moment!) but I promise that I’m an English femme who is on tenterhooks…
FemmeBLT
April 17th, 2009 @ 6:00 am

I've been following your site and was a featured femme friday pic a few weeks back (with FemmeFairyGodmother). I would DEFINITELY like to get a password so that I can read the really good stuff. :) Thanks!

~D.
Raine
April 17th, 2009 @ 6:37 am

I have been reading and enjoying your posts immensely and wld like to be able to read the password protected posts. I don't have my own website, but I too am a real life person.
Rockets
April 17th, 2009 @ 11:28 am

Love your website, love your stories! May I please have password for protected posts?

Please and thank you.

Rockets – aka – Christine The Rocket
lavie
April 18th, 2009 @ 5:10 am

I just want to see the heart of you Sin.would that be enough to grant me a password?
Femikneesm
April 18th, 2009 @ 11:19 pm

Would be great to get the password, I'm a recent convert to your site. Thanks.
Izzy
April 19th, 2009 @ 4:43 am

I love your posts….Can I please have a password?
Luiza
April 19th, 2009 @ 4:57 am

Hey! I have been reading your site for a while now, and it's been an amazing experience. May I have a password?
Lin
April 19th, 2009 @ 7:22 am

Your writing has been a catalyst for many of my thoughts and writing. I'd appreciate a password so that I can continue to be inspired and challenged by your words. Thanks so much for all the work that goes into making your site. Lin
Kate
April 20th, 2009 @ 9:01 am

Hey – love your website. As a fellow genderqueer butch top, it's great to read about your experience. I'd like the password, please. Thanks!
Tábata
April 21st, 2009 @ 2:45 pm

Well, i'm a 21 years old self-identified lesbian who found out to be a gender-queer without knowing exactly what the hell it means. And now i'm doing some research about gender and stuff, and your blog appeared in this path…i guess. So…could i have a password? please?

Sorry about the terrible english. Im brazilian by the way!
Beatrice S.
April 23rd, 2009 @ 5:43 am

I found your site and don't remember how I ended up here. I'm so glad I did because what you write really turns me on. It makes me cry and laugh but once, already all three things happened by the time I reached the end of the page. You are an amazing writer. Yesterday I couldn't tear myself away from reading so much, that I was late for class (Yeah. Thanks ;) So please can I have the password, pretty please? Won't let it interfere school any more either because I vow to read only at night, right before bed now; I promise.

* Beatrice.
Kristy
April 23rd, 2009 @ 8:24 pm

I love your website! I am a 21 year old genderqueer top and I would like to read more of your writings. could I have the password? thanks, Kristy
Victoria
April 24th, 2009 @ 1:15 pm

I've been dipping my toes in the very lovely waters of this site for a while now, and would very much like to read behind that password curtain!

My butch wyfe and I would very much appreciate a day to ourselves tomorrow, reading and having fun!

:-)
Kimberly
April 24th, 2009 @ 1:46 pm

I've gotten really into your writings. I experienced an awful breakup a few months ago, and it's been totally cathartic for me to read about others' experiences. Plus, you're an awesome writer, and I'd like to know more about you (in a good way, not a creepy, stalker-ish way).

Let's see…what else would you like to know? I'd be considered a "femme" in the lesbian community, although I'm not all that feminine most of the time. I'm a jeans and t-shirt girl. I've dated an FTM transexual and my fair share of guys, so I wouldn't consider myself a lesbian. I'm not very into labels. I'm just me. Kimberly. I turned 25 in March, and I am really trying to get back to normal since this breakup. My ex took a piece of me with her, and I desperately want it back. She's now fucking someone else, so it's unlikely I'll actually get anything of value back from her now. I still live with an ex of mine, too. So that's an interesting dynamic. We are still very close, and we love each other a lot, but the timing just isn't right for me. I'm not emotionally ready for a relationship right now. Plus I'm a law school, which is a huge commitment, and I cannot afford to derail my career plans with another disastrous relationship.

Getting the password to your protected writings would be an honor and a privilege for me. I know how personal blogs can become. I actually got rid of an account on Downelink.com for that reason.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this and (hopefully) handing over the password. I will definitely treasure it.

–Blessings!

XOXO Kim
Blair
April 25th, 2009 @ 9:02 am

I love your writings. I've been a silent follower for the last six months, and I've given your site as a great resource and blog at LGBTQ conferences I've been to as an interesting read on gender and queer theory.

I would love the password to the protected posts because, well, the erotica's damn good. More please? Will beg.
Chubs
April 26th, 2009 @ 2:53 pm

Hey, I've been reading your blog for a while and I would like to read the protected posts. Would you send me the password?

I'm just a butch sista chill'n in Boston, doing my thing.

Here's a link to my facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=667468489&....

Hopefully that link works…

Peace
Karen
April 28th, 2009 @ 5:57 am

May I have a password?
Alexandra
April 29th, 2009 @ 6:51 am

I adore your writings, and would be honored to have the password. :)
Candace
May 2nd, 2009 @ 5:08 pm

I love your writings and would love a password. I can email you my twitter/facebook/etc links.
Kat
May 5th, 2009 @ 6:13 pm

I really, really adore the way you write and would love to see more of it.

I'm a 20-year-old vaguely genderqueer, androgynous, dyke switch with piercings and half of an art degree. :)
undercover punk
May 10th, 2009 @ 5:23 am

Hey Sinclair,

I LOVE your writing! I'm a passionate radical lesbian feminist and your posts on gender-bending are very thoughtful. I suppose I'm "femme" but I've done my share of experimenting with sex roles, which is why I don't consider myself cis-gendered. My first serious relationship with a woman (at the time) was someone who went FtM and I've always had difficulty understanding why (besides passing, of course, which "she" was usually doing anyways). Thank you for being transmasculine. I'd love to read more about your experience and philosophies on gender. Thank you for writing and sharing with us on the inter-webs.

Undercover Punk
lauren
May 10th, 2009 @ 4:33 pm

i'd love a password. i already follow you on twitter – laurenyay
L
May 11th, 2009 @ 1:52 pm

Hey Sinclair, been reading your writing regularly for the past year or so, and am happy to notice that your writing and your life have had a deep effect on my gender and my sex life. You've opened up so much for me, especially after my own transformative crushing break-up three years ago and the emergence of so many new ways of being in the aftermath. I'd be honored to read more. Thanks so much for all that you do and all that you write.
Dana
May 11th, 2009 @ 4:29 pm

Hey! I love your writing and would love to have the password so I can read more :) Thanks!
sara
May 11th, 2009 @ 5:55 pm

hello. i am new to following your blog and your twitter and am very interested in all you have to say and share and would be honored if you would grace me with a password. thanks so much and have a super awesome day!
Noell
May 12th, 2009 @ 3:55 am

Reading what you've to say is simply the best way to get my mind off anything horrible that happens during the day. Could I get the password, pretty please!
Danee
May 12th, 2009 @ 10:15 am

Your writing is important to me. I'd like to have access to those posts that are too personal for everyone not heavily invested in your work.

Respectfully,

Danee
Aubrey
May 15th, 2009 @ 5:20 am

I've just discovered Sugarbutch Chronicles and have found your writing to be lush and aware. I would love to have the password to read more of your work. thank you, asd
Tanya
May 16th, 2009 @ 12:15 am

Hey Sinclar,

I don't know how I've gone this long reading your blog and without attempting to get the password for the protected entries. Maybe it's because my partner has the password and we often read your entries together.

I'm a fan. I've linked to my blog as evidence of my real-person-ness. I linked to your poll in my most recent entry (well, the entry after the guilty pleasure post about cute animals).

Thanks!

T
Kelsey
May 16th, 2009 @ 8:36 am

Your posts help me understand my own sexuality/gender. I'd like to read the personal ones.
Pierre
May 19th, 2009 @ 6:11 pm

I love your writing and learn heaps about myself and my partner from it.

Pretty please could I have the password?
Nikki
May 20th, 2009 @ 3:34 pm

I just discovered your writings and i must say you have quite a gift. Very vivid and lush. I would enjoy very much being able to read more of your posts. So if it pleases you, may i obtain the password from you?

Respectfuly,

Nikki
aka
Lotus
tellitslant
May 21st, 2009 @ 1:58 pm

I find your entries extremely thought-provoking on many occasions and just plain hot on many others. I would definitely appreciate being able to read all of them. Thanks very much!
Rajan
May 23rd, 2009 @ 12:35 am

Hey Sinclair,

I just read your blog ‘Unthought Known’ and thought it was fantastic.
Would you please let me have the password for your posts.
Thanks.
Babs
May 24th, 2009 @ 12:34 pm

Your blog is like a drug. Your unique style of writing encourages me to be myself in my own writing. Your intimate discussions on sex, sexuality, gender, and all the issues in between keep me thinking. I would be honored to have the password.

plus now my heart won’t have to sink a little every time I see a “Protected” one :)

Babs
R.S.
May 25th, 2009 @ 12:16 pm

For some reason the Facebook link doesn't work, but I'm still a real person! I'd like to thank you though, for helping me out. I'm confused about my sexuality and this site has helped me figure some stuff out. It's shown me that I'm not the only one out there. I would really appreciate being able to access your password-protected posts.
jason wallace
May 25th, 2009 @ 5:51 pm

Your stories that I have read have me mesmerized. you so accurately describe the emotions and passions of encounters… it amazes me.

I would very much like access to your more private posts.

Sorry for the repeat, but I included my website in this post.
Kristin
May 27th, 2009 @ 10:18 am

Sin~~I don't know how it took me until yesterday to find you but now I don't know how I went for so long without you! This year I have found myself doing a lot of growing and gaining more insight into my gender identity. You are a rare butch who is able to so eloquently and intimately describe your role in the butch-femme dynamic and I just cannot get enough! You truly help shed light on the intricacies of how and with whom I identify and why, especially when my Butch says that Hy doesn't have the words. I'm a life-long, unashamed, hard core voyeur and I would love to have the opportunity to read more about what makes you tick.

Very gratefully yours,

krs10waz
Shar Rednour
May 27th, 2009 @ 1:33 pm

Hi there–I liked your coverage of Cynthia Nixon's engagement. I appreciate your detective work in finding photos. My wife Jackie Strano and I also are Vixskin fans and your detailed review really hits the spot. Now do I get my password? XO Shar
Alexa
May 27th, 2009 @ 2:03 pm

hey there… i find your website fascinating and really well written, and i love the reviews you give, how do i get the password?
Meg
May 27th, 2009 @ 2:11 pm

Hey there. I'm a butch, and I love reading the writings of someone to whom I can relate. My FB link isn't working, but I'm Megan McEachin on there…I don't mind if people know that because I can just reject the creepy ones!
Lauren
May 27th, 2009 @ 2:13 pm

I stumbled upon your blog a while ago and found your writing to be excellent, through-provoking, and downright sexy. I would love to be able to read your protected posts.
sarah
May 27th, 2009 @ 4:21 pm

i've been following your various blogs online for awhile, and ordered a copy of covet from you back in the day… your writing has always had an impact on me. i'd be happy to read further!
Di
May 27th, 2009 @ 5:17 pm

I used to have a password – but haven't used it in 5 months (bad grrl). Good excuse – I was deployed to Iraq. Now I'm home and craving some Sugarbutch! Please fill me…
Charisse
August 25th, 2009 @ 3:18 pm

SBC is the highlight of my week and I'd love it if I could delve further into the world you so passionately describe

accessing the protected posts

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