Top 10 things I love about being gay

  1. There’s that whole fucking women thing. Yeah, I like that.

  2. It challenges all sorts of compulsory hegemonic systems and encourages new ways of acceptance, tolerance, living, and loving

  3. The community! We have such fighters, artists, activists, lovers – I love our arts and culture, our philosophies, our theories

  4. Drag kings, drag queens, and queer burlesque

  5. That we are a lineage of kisses; because we do not inheret our legacies through our blood-related families, we must claim our heritage through our desire, love, play, and kisses

  6. Getting over the “ick factor” – which is what I’d call a lesbian’s aversion to men (and masculinity) or a gay boy’s aversion to women (and femininity) – and creating alignments with all sorts of genders within the queer spectrum

  7. The synthesis of feminism, gender, and sexual revolution

  8. The brilliance and hilarity of our (mainstream) queer celebrities – Ellen, k.d., Harvey Feirstein, John Waters, George Michael, Jenny Shimitzu, Rosie – and our media – Better than Chocolate, But I’m a Cheerleader, Bound, Queer as Folk, Brokeback Mountain, Will & Grace … and dozens more. They really are forging through.

  9. The Pride Parade & Dyke March. Stonewall. Knowing where I come from. Honoring traditions, and making new ones

  10. I do have a great toaster oven from all those young’uns I’ve converted …

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith is a genderqueer kinky butch writer who teaches and performs, specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They've written at sugarbutch.net since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the Top Sex Blogs. Sinclair's gender theory and queer erotica is widely published in anthologies like Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, and online at Feministing, Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more; they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press. Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut, Sinclair's first book of short erotic stories, was published in 2014. They use the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself, and live in Oakland, CA with their boy.

7 thoughts on “Top 10 things I love about being gay”

  1. tongue-tied says:

    you can stop at #1 for me. not that the rest are unimportant. i can take or leave the rest, but i'll ALWAYS love making love to women.

  2. Ms. Avarice says:

    i <3 four and five. y'know i almost decided to audition for a burlesque company earlier this year? ;)

  3. sinclair says:

    em: glad you're on my side, too :)

  4. Essin' Em says:

    1. We have our own (fabulous flags) and symbols

    2. Some of our theorists have broken barriers around for centuries (Feinberg, Bornstein, Bem, etc)

    3. We are more ok with using sex toys, which are AWESOME (sorry, still on my sex toy kick)

    4. We’re so powerful that they discuss usin political circles on a daily basis

    5. One word: Rainbows!

    6. Like the Jews, we always persevere against prosecution. I’m a Jewish queer…what does that mean?

    7. It’s trendy to be a vegetarian

    8. Many out celebrities are h-o-t.

    9. It’s quite empowering to be seen as subversive and challenging the gender and orientation binary

    10. Because there are people like you on my side ;) Awwwww….I am so cute (not)

  5. Makenzie says:

    I feel like #5 is waiting to become a kick-ass poem. y’know:

    we are a lineage of kisses;
    we do not inheret our legacies
    through our blood we must claim our heritage
    through our desire

    or something.

    1. Sinclair says:

      Makenzie: yes that’s exactly it. I have had that line kicking around in my head for many years now / I love your beginning here.

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