The Hanky Flower: Femme Flagging

Photographer Shilo McCabe, who took some photos of me while I was visiting the Bay Area in August, also makes hanky flowers—and they are available on Etsy:

“An answer to the question that plagues the flagging femme: How does one creatively flag without back pockets on your outfit (or without an outfit on at all)? How about a hanky flower in your hair, belt, boot, or anywhere else you can think of? Wear it on the right or left to show your colors!”

So of course, I ordered one for Kristen.

I decided hunter green wouldn’t quite look right as a flower, so I went for light pink. (Don’t know the color codes? Look ’em up. I’m sure you can find a few that would suit your interests.)

I probably don’t have to tell you this, but they look great. Kristen gets a lot of compliments on hers when she wears it. Shilo also just mentioned to me that she will be putting up a smaller size, so keep an eye for those in her Etsy store soon.

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

6 thoughts on “The Hanky Flower: Femme Flagging”

  1. Ruth says:

    Combining form and function beautifully and cleverly. Approve!

  2. Vic says:

    Love it!!

  3. Miss Lola Sunshine says:

    I LOVE my flagging flowers! I, too, have gotten a ton of compliments on mine. I have one for my right (light pink flower/black leaf) and one for my left (black flower, mint green leaf)– and they actually come with a pin attached, too, so you can wear them as a brooch instead of in your hair (it’s how I usually flag both sides at once, one in my hair and one on my outfit). They are so lovely and so well-made and have basically solved all the flagging problems I had been having for years!

    I can’t wait to get a small one– I’ll need a light blue one that can migrate to either side ;)

  4. riotfemme says:

    I must order another! My flower arrived perhaps a month ago and I utterly adore it. I ordered a Hunter Green flower with light blue leaf, a deliberate reversal and it looks fantastic. A perfect way to flag whilst Femme :)

  5. Bianca says:

    Adorable! I doubt it would be comfy for me, since I tend to get twitchy about things on my head/behind my ears, but I love the statement.

    Also, it upsets me that there’s no flag color for humiliation play. At least that I know of…

    1. Sinclair says:

      Bianca, I have seen them clipped on to clothing, purses, and not in hair, too—that might work.

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