What Workshops Would You Like To See Me Teach?

My spring schedule is coming together, I’ve been talking to maybe a dozen different places and continuing to keep up my contacts as I plan to visit various cities this spring. I’m hoping that even if some of them don’t work out right away, perhaps they’ll work out in the future and I can come visit in the fall or next year.

I’ve got a pretty long workshop list right now, and while my most popular workshops continue to be Fucking With Gender, Radical & Responsible Gender, and Cock Confidence: Strap-On 101, I’m interested in continuing to develop other workshops that will be appealing. Someone just mentioned she’d like to go to a Daddy/girl workshop about the continuum of the dynamic from the bedroom to living that lifestyle 24/7. That’d be fascinating (I’d attend that workshop certainly). And another friend of mine just asked if I do anything for teens, which prompted me to start thinking about a How To Survive High School workshop for Queers, Freaks, and Gender Outlaws. Working on that one, too.

Point is, sometimes other people see workshops that I don’t necessarily see. So while I’m updating my workshop list for 2011 and thinking about other things I could start thinking about and developing, do you have any ideas for me of what workshops I could add to my repertoire? What would you love to see me teach? What do you wish I would come to your town and lead at your local college, community center, or sex toy shop?

I don’t have my spring schedule finalized yet, but I’m keeping it updated at mrsexsmith.com/appearances and in the What’s Happening in February post at the top of Sugarbutch.net (until March 1st, anyway, where I’ll replace it with a What’s Happening in March post instead).

If you’d like to bring me to your town for a workshop, I would love to go! Or perhaps I’m already coming to your town, and can do an add-on workshop with your group? You can email me directly, mrsexsmith(at)gmail.com, or you can contact my booking company PhinLi.

But, in the meantime, I would love to hear any ideas you have about what you’d like to see me teach. And thank you, it is helpful!

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

9 thoughts on “What Workshops Would You Like To See Me Teach?”

  1. LissaB says:

    Some time ago, I presented a workshop about Femmes who like to use strapons. At the time, my girlfriend introduced herself at the beginning of the workshop and said “I’m a butch woman and I like to get fucked.” I swear, there was an audible GASP in the room.

    I would love to see more workshops on being a female identified butch woman, a butch who prefers female pronouns, and still identifies strongly with being female, with no desire to transition or start taking T, etc. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!! – seriously, I know that sounds facetious, but it’s not. There isn’t anything wrong with that. It’s just that it isn’t the ONLY side of the story.)

    I would also LOVE to attend a workshop, or even just a discussion group about Dyke Daddies and their girls.

  2. s.s. says:

    kink 101! too broad? honestly though, I’m trying to find someone to play with for the first time and I don’t know where to start.

  3. I am a long time reader and I usually just enjoy reading your work but I have to chime in!

    I, personally, want to see a workshop on Daddy/girl dynamics and how power exchange relationships (not just Daddy/girl but others, too) translate from the bedroom into a 24/7 lifestyle. Classes that aren’t necessarily 101 classes but talk about the way relationships are built on and around kink are something that I don’t see a lot of. I am in a D/s relationship with someone who I really adore, who I want to share my life with AND am very much interested in living a 24/7 lifestyle with. I have no idea how to go about navigating it (outside of the usual kinky negotiations) and it would be awesome to have a space to learn and talk about it in.

    It’d also be really awesome to see you do a workshop or a class in Philadelphia sometime. I am not affiliated with them but I am certain that Passionale/Sexploratorium would be a great place for you. If you are in the area sometime, definitely check them out.

  4. Sonia says:

    s.s.-I’m in the same boat. I do live near the Twin Cities, so there are newbie munches and such there, but, being in college, I don’t have time/transportation to make that happen. I also have social anxiety, so even if I could get there, the idea of actually going freaks me out.

    I guess I feel like I have the basic Kink 101 info from the internet (fetlife, etc.), but a workshop on how to enter the BDSM community or create one locally would be really valuable to probably a lot of us.

    A side note-I’m kind of toying with the idea of trying to start some sort of BDSM support group at my college. Good idea? I just think it would be really nice to know in a concrete way that I’m not alone, and have the conversations you’re not allowed to have in normative vanilla society. I’m just frustrated with the way no one is supposed to know that I’m kinky unless we’re playing, but I can’t find anyone to play with when neither of us are out as kinky.

  5. Sinclair says:

    s.s. & Sonia —(funny, I usually sign my emails “ss” so at first I thought you were talking to me, Sonia!) I’d love to do a Kink 101. And Sonia, I’m hoping to come to Minneapolis this spring, so let’s talk. I’ll email you.

    The biggest thing I can recommend to you both (if you don’t already listen to it) is the Savage Love podcast. It taught me a TON about the kink world, negotiating kinks, asking people for kinky stuff, kinky communication, dating, all that stuff. Dan Savage is not great for some things (like … deep respect for people who are different than he is) but he is excellent for starting out in kink. And there’s a huge backlist of written columns and podcasts to listen to.

  6. Sonia says:

    Email sounds good!

    I’ve briefly checked out Savage Love, but I’ll have to look in more detail. Thanks for the tip!

  7. Julia says:

    Even though it’d be rather unlikely to be able to invite you to Germany (at least in my current position at Uni), I think it would be great if you did a workshop on “How to write about sex”.
    Another one that would have even more connection to literature would be along the lines “Gender queer in literature” (I’m thinking of passages like the beginning of Wintersons “Power book”, the scene with the tulip – or passages in Eugenides “Middlesex”). This is something I have real academic interest in, even though it’s not my field. *sigh*

    I guess it would also depend on your willingness to read up on the subjects (if you haven’t already), but I’d love something on “Gender and Medicine – Constructing Sexuality” (thinking of Lacoeur for instance) or “Gender and Sports” (where it is absolutely clear we lastly CANNOT decide about the sex(es) of someone – Castor Semenya as a famous example).

    If I could, I’d get an additional Gender Studies degree myself. *sigh* It’s kind of too late though.

    Hope we can inspire you!

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