The Sugarbutch Birthday Tradition

April 3rd is my birthday, I’m turning 31 tomorrow. I love being in my thirties (fuck those who-am-I finding-myself-bullshit twenties, I’m so ready to be solidly where I’m at). April is also Sugarbutch’s birthday month, I started this site 4 years ago on the 29th. Will have a giveaway or something exciting later this month for that.

Did you flip your 2010 Sex Blogger Calendar to my pinup photo with Audacia Ray yet? I bet there are still calendars to purchase, if you don’t have one yet. WORTH IT, if not only for the blogiversaries and birthdays of your favorite sex bloggers and the sexy photos, then for the discount codes to the best of the best online sex shops!

And those of you who have been following for a while will remember: in the past few years, I have requested for you to send in photos of your most fabulous shoes as a birthday card, if you feel so inspired. “Your most fabulous shoes” can mean anything, the ribbons-around-the-ankles are not required (though oh so hot, gahh). I am really quite partial to the ones that lace up and tie and wrap around, probably it’s a bondage related thing, I’m not quite sure why they are SO DAMN HOT but they just are. Strappy sandals are also awesome. The smaller and more delicate, the better. Mmmmmm.

J. from Toronto, one of my favorites from last year.

Missy, my favorite from 2008.

Oh, and don’t forget the birthday coloring page from Illustrocity!

I’ll post my favorites, with your permission of course. (If you prefer I don’t post them, please let me know.) Send them to or post them on your own blog and leave a comment, so I can be sure to see them & link!

Kristen and I have some birthday plans this weekend, including New York City’s best bloody mary, swing dancing, some small birthday adventures, and drinks with friends. I did have daydreams of getting 30 blowjobs for my 30th birthday, last year, but that didn’t really happen. I should come up with something fun I can request from her this year, though I’m not quite sure what it will be (she does so much for me already!). Suggestions?

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

8 thoughts on “The Sugarbutch Birthday Tradition”

  1. Kara says:

    I hope you have a wonderful Birthday tomorrow. Mine was yesterday. Though I turned 21 so I have a while to go before I hit my 30's.

    Enjoy celebrating it with Kristen……………..Kara XOXOXO

  2. TlB says:

    Happy early birthday!

    I suggest coming up with 15 items that you'd like to incorporate into sex. Kristen picks the remaining 16. You both keep them secret and unveil them at the same time, then use one of yours and one of hers each time you guys get down to it. Food, household items, whatever looks interesting. Doesn't have to be expensive! Might come up with some fun, interesting combinations. In the end, you'll have about 15/16 sessions, which should be enjoyable.

    Have a good one!

  3. Rockets says:

    Holy Crap! It's your Birthday again already? (time seems to fly faster on my now…)

    I hope your day is grand. All the best to you on your birthday and throughout the upcoming year!

    ~ Christine Phillips

  4. TlB says:

    Just had a thought to add on to my earlier post. Not all of the items have to be sexual- some of them can be little things, like bottles of wine, picnic baskets, whatever would be a fun activity to share.

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