identity politics

On Butch Eyebrows: waxed or natural?

That’s the question I posed to the hive mind an hour ago. And like all terribly important dilemma questions, I got a slew of responses:


I especially like what Janie said – that eyebrows “should be sculpted minimally to best feature one’s eyes.” Uh, so, how does one do that?

And you’re going to have to educate me I’m afraid: wtf is this “threading” business? I thought it was similar to waxing. Why recommend it in particular for butches? What’s the difference? I’m confused.

PS: I promise I won’t turn this blog into a mirror of what I’m doing on twitter. There are much smut and omphaloskepsis and media reviews and gender explorational writings in progress.

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

14 thoughts on “On Butch Eyebrows: waxed or natural?”

  1. I am a tweezer girl myself but I have had my eyebrows threaded once and it's so cool to watch the amazing skill that goes into it. I had it done about 10 yrs ago but it is very popular now – take note while you walk about and you will notice a sign in the front window of many "beauty shops" that reads "Threading" with the cost next to it. It's really inexpensive and worth a try.

    I wouldn't like my butch partner (if I had one) to have overly groomed eyebrows. Whenever possible, I think that natural is the best option but if necessary, then a little tweezing does the job just right.

  2. Elizabeth says:

    My girl does the minimal plucking, as do I. A friend of mine, though, who is a full-on, buzzed-hair, dude of a butch, plucks hers to a straight line. I asked her about it once and she said that growing up with a house full of sisters, she didn't have a choice and now it was habit. I said, it figures that the only girly thing you do is painful.

  3. leo says:

    cracking up @ Elizabeth's comment. i have been harrassed about this topic but am adamant & unanimous: all natural, all the way, always.

  4. Quadrashocker says:

    Since the age of fourteen I've been getting my eyebrows threaded. I always felt that threading was more accurate when it came to sculpting the eyebrows. Like the previous comment stated above, it's fast, but can be a little uncomfortable. You should definitely you tube it.

  5. denise says:

    It depends on what you like for yourself and how your eyebrows grow. It's easier to get them either threaded or waxed than plucking. At least you have it all done at once rather than a lot of plucks. This is especially true if you haven't done your eyebrows for a while.

    If you are worried about have too "girly" eyebrows, you can try looking for a spa that has a male clientele. They would probably be able to clean you up without giving you an overly arched eyebrow.

  6. Threading is an Indian thing – my mom knows how to do it. Basically, it’s exactly how it sounds – hair removal using thread. The threads are twisted and skillfully used to pull out the stray hairs – it’s very fast, not very painful and not easy to learn. I’m trying to learn the technique myself – takes lots of practice!

  7. Bettina says:

    even though i didn't respond to your tweet (hate being that busy!), i rather like the idea of you blogging about what's going on over there, even if only infrequently. but yes! keep the rest coming, too.

    oh, and the eyebrow thing (if you still wanna know)– count me in with the "neatly groomed but not overtly sculpted" look. which basically means clean up in between them, and only if the hairs there are distracting enough to create a unibrow look.

  8. Gold says:

    Not going to lie, I tweeze compulsively. I just, uh, don't tell anyone about it. My butch girlfriend used to give me shit about it, so I got her into tweezing too… Now we tease each other about it :)

    I really hate body hair, though. I'm pretty adamant about removing it. I guess I somehow don't think of that as a gendered behavior; it's more like an OCD thing.

  9. nikki says:

    I’m afraid of twitter. But I like wild eyebrows. Really wild.

  10. G says:

    I'm a butch, and I think I fall somewhere between the extremes. I don't have my eyebrows sculpted, but I don't let them run wild, either. I pluck a bit here and there to keep them in line.

    I have something in common with Gold though, and that is the fact that I tend to not like a lot of body hair, period. I shave quite a bit in general to keep my OCD habits satisfied.

  11. Cheree says:

    This is going to fall in the "I should be embarassed to admit this" category, but whatthefuckever.

    "Minimally sculpted"? HA!

    Without fairly severe and routine maintenance, my eyebrows would probably take over my forehead. I mean, you've seen pictures of those werewolf people, right? I'm just saying.


    I would recommend it over tweezing or waxing. Way faster than tweezing, less messy than waxing. It's still going to hurt – I won't lie – but nowhere near as bad. Plus it looks like it would be fairly easy to learn to do yourself, if you were so inclined.

    As for getting it done, get recommendations if you can. Talk to the person doing them, let them know what you want (i.e. "Not stripper eyebrows"), even if that's just "cleaned up and shaped a little". Really, they should be able to shape them so that they compliment your eyes and face. And, you know… If they screw up, your eyebrows will grow back.


    Oh, and for BUTCHES and eyebrow maintenance… SweetPea's are practically perfect and totally maintenance free. There are, maybe, 7 total hairs I would remove from her eyebrows. And she gets asked about that frequently. Weird.

  12. james says:

    My eyebrows look really wild and natural. I like it that way. Very sexy!

  13. cookie says:

    I tweeze my butches' brow just to clean them up ~

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