Things To Keep You Busy (While I’m Still Writing)

Posted on February 10, 2011 in events | No Comments

I’ve been trying to do this new format of my upcoming events by just having one post that gets updated that stays at the top of my blog, but then you RSS readers are missing out on the updates. I know because I’m an RSS reader—in general—and I rarely click through to the actual sites I read. Sometimes, especially if it’s a design blog, but rarely. (I also unsubscribe to a blog almost immediately if the full post isn’t available in the RSS. There are exceptions, but they are few.)

There’s some exciting things coming up in New York City that you shouldn’t miss!

This weekend, on Saturday night, there’s Boxer’s Off: Butch Burlesque (there are already 70+ RSVPs on Facebook, so I’d say get there early):

Valentines Day Primer & Fundraiser for Cheryl B. WTF Cancer Diaries
with emcee Lea Robinson as L Boogie
Stonewall Inn (53 Christopher St .)
Saturday, February 12th, 2011
Doors at 7, show starts at 7:30
Admission $10

Join Boxers Off! An Evening of Butch Burlesque for a special Valentine’s Day Primer & fundraiser for Cheryl B.’s WTF Cancer Diaries. Lea Robinson as L Boogie emcees this especially sexy edition with out of town guests Johnny Blazes from Boston, El Beardo of Ptown, and sultry R&B musical guest Lady Zen from Maine. NY performers taking the stage in glitter covered hotness include Goldie Peacock, Kelli Dunham, Dapper Q, Daddy TYE, Molly Equality Dykeman, Drae Campbell/Miss Lez 2010, Tanika L.A Harbor, and Lindsay Naas. Luna-C will take care of all of your raffle needs while Mieke’s go-go dancers sweat the night away.

All y’all who complain about the lack of butches in New York should be there. Because, hello. Butches taking their clothes off!

If you’re going out on a high-pressure date on Valentine’s Day, consider jerking off first as Hot Movies offers their entire network for free:

To celebrate Valentine’s Day, HotMovies.com is offering their entire network for free between 4 and 6 PM Eastern Standard Time, February 14th and launching HotMoviesForCouples.com.

But why give away streaming video on Valentine’s Day? “It’s all about safety,” Cybert explained. “A lot of people will be going out on dates, even though it is a Monday night. Collectively, that’s a lot of stress and pressure out there on the streets. All I’m saying is, don’t go out with a loaded gun.”

And in case you don’t already have plans for Valentine’s Day, and are in the New York area, don’t miss Nerd Love: A Valentine’s Day Party for the Rest of Us:

Love nerd stuff? Love nerds? In the midst of nerd love? Just want a break from all the Hallmark Crap? NERD LOVE is the perfect Valentine’s Day event

We’re starting at 6, so you still have time to go out to dinner or whatever other fancy VD stuff you want to do. And there will be special guests. And Cheryl B and Kelli Dunham will be recreating their first date as told by the bears in the xtranormal video. And there will be a NERD OFF with fabulous prizes. So come prepared to spend exactly a minute showing off the nerdiest thing you do. (Email kellidunham (at) gmail.com to ensure your place in the NERD OFF, although we will take sign-ups at the door.) WITH NERD GUESTS and special CELEBRITY JUDGES FOR THE NERD OFF!

Also there will be special colored name tags for folks that mean things like “I’m shy but please hit on me I’m single!”

To be honest, Kristen and I haven’t made Valentine’s Day plans yet. We might end up at Nerd Love. With our anniversary, winter solstice, and her recent new job (did you hear? Whole update on that coming soon), I have gone through a lot of really good present ideas lately, but I’m sure I can come up with something more. We have both been out and about a lot lately, so I have the impression a night in with just the two of us might be preferred. Maybe I’ll surprise her with something fancy at home, since she’ll be at work all day after all. Hm. Still undecided, exactly.

I wrote a few things for other places this week …

Sugarbutch Says: Happy Anniversary, “Boys for Pele”: My homage to the Tori Amos album that changed my life is over on AfterEllen.com. If you want to hear the entire Boys for Pele album, I made a YouTube playlist with the entire album versions of the tracks (including the videos for “Caught a Lite Sneeze,” “Hey Jupiter,” and “Talula”).
Mr. Sexsmith’s Other Girlfriend: Can Your Relationship Handle Valentine’s Day Gifts? Some of my relationship theories on SexIs Magazine. I don’t usually link to (or pimp out) my SexIs Magazine column, mostly because of all the drama surrounding EF in the sex blog world, but I have heard lately that my traffic is pretty low, so if you feel like supporting me, please click through, even if you don’t read it, to keep me going there. Having a weekly column that actually pays me has been really helpful financially while I’m getting on my feet, and a lot of good practice, which is why I’m still providing content for them.

You can also follow the recent publications “blog” part of mrsexsmith.com if you’d like to keep up with articles I write elsewhere.

I just sent out a monthly newsletter, so you missed it this time, but if you’d like to get the next one sign up with your email address here and you’ll also get the password to the protected posts. While I wasn’t looking somehow the mailing list grew to more than 1,000—thanks, y’all! I’ll try to make the (monthly) updates interesting to read.

I think that’s all for now … I have some posts in the works, so more “real” writing (and less event announcements/sex toy reviews) coming soon.

No Comments | Category: events | Tags: cancer sucks, events, I should put a link to some secret smut in the newsletter hmm, I was going to perform in this boxer's off but since kristen is going out of town I'm not going to (maybe next time), new york city, sign up for the newsletter, support cheryl & kelli!, what to do on valentine's day, youtube is my new stereo

Sideshow Tonight!

Posted on February 8, 2011 in events | 1 Comment

Join us at Sideshow TONIGHT with readers Melissa Gira Grant, Rohin Guha, Aimee Herman, and Christa Orth.

Sideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival – Achilles’ Heel
Hosted by Cheryl B. & Sinclair Sexsmith
Tuesday, February 8th @ The Phoenix
447 East 13th Street @ Avenue A
Doors, 7:30pm. Reading, 8pm
Free! (We’ll pass the hat for the readers)
Find out more about the readers!

1 Comment | Category: events | Tags: events, how to stalk me, new york city, queer literary culture, sideshow, things to do if you're bored

Achilles’ Heel at Sideshow, February 8th

Posted on January 23, 2011 in events | 2 Comments

Join us at Sideshow on February 8th with readers Melissa Gira Grant, Rohin Guha, Aimee Herman, and Christa Orth.

2 Comments | Category: events | Tags: friends and lovers, I'm still on retreat I swear, new york city, promotion, sideshow, sorry for the lack of posts but I promise the work will be worth it eventually, upcoming events

Events in January

Posted on January 7, 2011 in PSA, events | No Comments

Yes, I’m still on retreat. But there are a few important announcements that I have to tell you, events that are worth attending and projects worth helping.

1. Don’t forget about Sideshow! Next week, 1/11/11 in New York City. You know the drill.

Ring in the New Year with a blank slate as the performers, storytellers, and writers of Sideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival tell you all about Tabula Rasa.

Featured in January are Regie Cabico, Casey Plett, Shawn Stewart Ruff, and Najva Sol.

Hosted by Cheryl B. & Sinclair Sexsmith
Tuesday, January 11th @ The Phoenix
447 East 13th Street @ Avenue A
Doors, 7:30pm. Reading, 8pm
Free! (We’ll pass the hat for the readers)

2. Butch It Up For QEJ! Party, Fundraiser, and Butch Clothing Drive for Queers for Economic Justice. January 16 at Ginger’s Bar in Brooklyn, from 4 pm onward, with performances starting at 6:30 pm

Dykes on Bike-Cycles (DOBC) is getting it in gear in the New Year, and our first event of 2011 is a party-fundraiser in support of Queers for Economic Justice (QEJ). Ginger’s Bar in Park Slope will host this very special fundraiser, featuring an amazing lineup of poets, comics, and musicians. We’ll have the BBQ going out back, with hamburgers, hot dogs, and veggie options, as well as other foods for sale, baked and cooked by Shane, Ginger’s bartender. So come out and help us support QEJ and the great work they are doing for the LGBTQ community in the shelters in our city.

As part of this event, DOBC will be sponsoring a Butch Clothing Drive, so start sorting through you closet for those old ties you never wear or that pair of trousers or collared shirt that don’t really fit you anymore, and donate them to a butch sister in need. Any clothing donations are welcome, but warm coats, sweaters, and anything fitting the “masculine of center” category are especially appreciated.

Performers include: Arianne Benford, Sassafras Lowrey, Kay Ulanday Barrett, Kelli Dunham and Cheryl B., Melissa Li and the Barely Theirs, Andrea Alton performing as Molly “Equality” Dykeman. The raffle will include prizes from Babeland, a $20 bar tab at Ginger’s, DOBC t-shirts, and much more! No cover charge, but donations are always welcome.

RSVP on Facebook.

3. Pariah (pariahthemovie.com) is a new film trying to make their way to Sundance. Described as “a Brooklyn teenager juggles conflicting identities and risks friendship, heartbreak, and family in a desperate search for sexual expression,” here’s the full synopsis:

At the club, the music thumps, go-go dancers twirl, shorties gyrate on the dance floor while studs play it cool, and adorably naive 17-year-old Alike takes in the scene with her jaw dropped in amazement. Meanwhile, her buddy Laura, in between macking the ladies and flexing her butch bravado, is trying to help Alike get her cherry popped. This is Alike’s first world. Her second world is calling on her cell to remind her of her curfew. On the bus ride home to Brooklyn, Alike sheds her baseball cap and polo shirt, puts her earrings back in, and tries to look like the feminine, obedient girl her conservative family expects. With a spectacular sense of atmosphere and authenticity, Pariah takes us deep and strong into the world of an intelligent butch teenager trying to find her way into her own. Debut director Dee Rees leads a splendid cast and crafts a pitch-perfect portrait that stands unparalleled in American cinema.

I thought that’d get your attention. They still need some funding. Head over to Kickstarter to help out. (Thanks for the tip, Lesbian Dad.)

4. Juxtaposition is a new project by Jessica Halem & Kelli Dunham: a show that brings those communities together…laughing. Future shows will juxtapose… A gay nerd & a lesbian separatist; A vegan massage therapist & a pflag mom; A queer academic & a bisexual jock. Monday, January 10th at 6.30 PM at Stonewall Inn 53 Christopher Street, 5-10 BUCKS SLIDING SCALE. PLEASE BE ON TIME, THIS IS A TIGHT 90 MINUTE SHOW! More information on Juxtaposition.

No Comments | Category: PSA, events | Tags: butch clothing drive, events, I'm still on retreat I swear, important things, january, juxtaposition, kelli dunham, new york city, pariah the film, QEJ, qej hosted the butch voices nyc conference and they are good people, sideshow

Fantasy: Titillating and Taboo Workshop at the Lesbian Sex Mafia

Posted on December 31, 2010 in events | 4 Comments

I’ve been helping out with some of the programming for the Lesbian Sex Mafia based here in New York City, and our first workshop in January was just announced, featuring one of my favorite femme sexuality educators: Megan Andelloux.

So if you’re nearby, join us.

Lesbian Sex Mafia presents:
“Fantasy: Titillating and Taboo: What Gets You Off and How to Get It”
with Megan Andelloux

Does dirty talk turn you on? Want to be punished? Want to force someone to do naughty things? Really want to make those wicked thoughts a reality? This workshop will cover some common desires, like restraints, impact play, and dirty talk, as well as how to communicate your desires, confront personal shame/discomfort around fantasies, and maneuver such desires into your sex and play. Through small group discussion, interactive and reflection activities you’ll explore expressing your deepest fantasies and how to get what you really want.

Date: Fri, January 21, 2011; 8pm – 10pm
Location: The LGBT Center, 208 W 13th St, NY (Google Maps). Get directions using Hopstop.
Cost: LSM member: $5; Non-members $10 (Members – renew now and continue to get all the benefits of an LSM membership!)

About Megan Andelloux

Megan Andelloux is a nationally certified Sexuality Educator through A.A.S.E.C.T and a board certified Sexologist through A.C.S. She is the Founder and Director of the non-profit Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, located in Pawtucket, RI.

Ms. Andelloux lectures internationally at colleges, universities, medical schools, and sexuality institutions on issues surrounding sexual politics, pleasure, sexual health, and erotic justice. To date, she has taught at over three dozen higher educational institutions, including medical schools and Ivy league universities such as Brown, Yale, and Harvard.

She is an author in the books, We Got Issues A Feminist Response to Cultural Attitudes On Feminism and Sex and Society, a comprehensive guide to current knowledge and expert analysis of sex and sexuality.

Ms. Andelloux was named “Vagina Warrior of the Year” from the Vagina Monologues for her work regarding sexual communication and fear reduction. She has been labeled as “The Princess of Pleasure” and more recently, “The Sex Ed Warrior Queen”.

She is listed on Wikipedia as an American Feminist, Writer and Sex Educator and on the Erotic Heritage Museum’s Hall of Heros, which showcases icons of sexual revolution.

4 Comments | Category: events | Tags: check the LSM's gender policy, community, events, friends, good ways to kick-start your resolutions, lesbian sex mafia, new york city, queer, sexuality education, things to do with your spare time, this might not quite have been the board I imagined I would work with but it is pretty fun

January’s Leave of Absence

Posted on December 27, 2010 in colophon | 4 Comments

You know how sometimes, something happens, like an explosion, an emotional evening where you end up yelling and crying and rushing out of the house in the middle of the night for some fresh air, and beating yourself up for being in the same patterns … and how sometimes, when that happens, your brain makes a sudden leap forward, and BING a light goes on, and you kind of “get it” in a new way? And then you know how sometimes when that happens, you create this whole new system for yourself, A New Way Of Being Or Operating, and you gear up to implement that in your life?

Yeah, so that happened last week.

And I decided I’m going to take January off of writing here, to remove all the tasks that are not essential (which leaves me with writing my SexIs column weekly, and promotion for Sideshow, LSM, and Body Electric), and devote the whole month to a larger project I’ve been dreaming of the last two months.

So I’ve been letting this idea percolate as I’ve been preparing to go on a self-imposed writing retreat, and this week I decided I would get up early on Monday morning and head out to the writer’s office space that I rent near my apartment.

But yesterday, the snow showed up, and this morning, the subways around my house were down. The MTA advised we should stay inside.

The winds are up to 50mph and I hear the wind chill is 6 degrees. But out my window, the South Brooklyn rooftops look beautiful.

You know how sometimes you make a decision, and you think, “Okay, this is it, it’s going to be different this time, this is gonna work, this is how I’m going to move forward,” and then something conspires against you? So weird. I guess this is just the world telling me to prove it: Prove how much I want to make this really happen, for reals, not just something my head intends to do but I don’t actually follow through with.

So I’ve been working at home today, and one of my tasks is to write a blog post. I’m going to try to write through some of the posts I’ve been intending to get to in this next week, to clear my to-do list and be prepared for this month-long retreat in January. I’ve got some word count aims, some daily aims, some weekly aims. At the end of the month, I’m going to head upstate for a week and write there, isolate myself a little more for the final push.

This is a new experiment, so we’ll see how it goes. I’m going to have to ramp up my discipline and structure and really go for it. It kind of seems like it corresponds with the whole New Year’s resolution things, and in some ways I guess it does, since I tend to get pretty reflective in the dark time of year, but in other ways it’s just what is next for me.

Who knows if this will work, and take me to where I want to go—but it’s a start, and it’s an experiment, to see what happens. Maybe it’ll work, maybe it won’t.

I have plenty of emails to catch up on, Butch Lab to work on, the next Symposium to plan, articles to write, Sideshow … no shortage of projects and fascinating things to think about. So I’ll be writing a few more things this week, and then I’ll see you in February.

But now, I’m going to take a walk in the snow, and get back to work after the sun sets.

4 Comments | Category: colophon | Tags: announcement, discipline, freelancer's life, I tried to take a month off once before and it didn't really work very well, new york city, snow day, south brooklyn is my favorite, working from home, writer's retreat

Don’t Forget! Big Sideshow Next Week in NYC

Posted on November 4, 2010 in events | 1 Comment

November’s Dangerous Mammals Tour
at Sideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival
Hosted by Cheryl B. & Sinclair Sexsmith
with S. Bear Bergman, Ivan E. Coyote, Jessica Halem, and Tania Katan
Find out more about the readers!
Tuesday, November 9th @ The Phoenix
447 East 13th Street @ Avenue A
East Village, New York City
Doors, 7:30pm. Reading, 8pm
Free! (We’ll pass the hat for the readers)
RSVP on Facebook!

1 Comment | Category: events | Tags: Ivan E. Coyote, jessica halem, mentors, new york city, s. bear bergman, sideshow, things you shouldn't miss

Coyote Grace in Brooklyn

Posted on October 26, 2010 in events | 1 Comment

Remember Coyote Grace, the band made up of trans guy guitar player Joe Stephens (and Top Hot Butch #96, with his permission, as he is butch-identified) and femme bass player Ingrid Elizabeth? I’ve featured their beautiful song Guy Named Joe here before.

They’re playing a gig in Brooklyn! They so rarely come through New York, I’m so excited they’re going to be here … and so sad that I’ll be missing it, because I’ll be coordinating that residential retreat that I’ve mentioned a few times in recent months.

Sigh. Can’t do it all, I have to remind myself.

So, since I’ve featured Guy Named Joe before, and since I’ve been in a particularly romantic mood lately, here’s another of their songs that I adore. Maybe it’ll inspire you to go to their gig.

Coyote Grace
Sunday, November 7th, 2010
at the Jalopy Theater
315 Columbia Street, Brooklyn, NY
Showtime: 9:30pm Cover: $10 All Ages

Show ‘em a really warm Brooklyn reception for me, okay? So they’ll want to come back!

1 Comment | Category: events | Tags: can't do everything, coyote grace, events, friends, I fucking love folk music, music, new york city, they played at that wedding where I was a best man (that photo has made tumblr rounds now)

The Rest of Syd London’s Butch Voices NYC Photos

Posted on October 24, 2010 in events | 3 Comments

The rest of the Butch Voices photos taken by our official photographer Syd London are up! Take a look at the Speed Friending event that kicked off the conference, or visit Syd’s flickr to see them all together.

Here’s the shots from the conference, including my workshop “Cock Confidence,” and the community-building ritual keynote:

And here’s the Sideshow/Queer Memoir Mashup reading at Bluestockings:

Check out Syd’s recent work on Time Out NY, the PFAG Awards Gala, Mad Men Season Finale at the Bell House, the Grand Central Die-In, NY Burlesque Festival, and the Marriage Equality March. There’s also the Remembering Youth Vigil up on Go Magazine’s website.

Thanks, Syd! Prints or digital copies are available to purchase, contact Syd directly for more information about that. “Like” her on Facebook to follow her work!