My Dirty Sexy Queer Writer Recommendations

I was interviewed for Time Out NY recently (along with Rachel Kramer Bussel and Rachel Rabbit White and some other folks) about my favorite sex bloggers, and the article came out today.

I’ve meant for a while to compile a list of links to have somewhere here on Sugarbutch. Nominations for the top sex bloggers of 2012 were open recently (and closed now) and I meant to put forward a list of my personal favorites, but didn’t get around to it. (Check out the comments for hundreds of sex blogs to search and surf, if you’re into that.) You can also surf through the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2011, but there are very few queer bloggers on there, if that’s what you’re looking for. (Where are they?) (I’ve been retired from that list because I was in the top three years in a row, which is kind of too bad, but Sugarbutch is also totally not competitive in that world anymore. Which is a slightly different post.)

I used to have a community page, but I haven’t updated that in (probably literally) years.

I also used to keep my Google reader shared items in the sidebar, which was awesome and I loved that it was a frequent solution to links, because I’d just share the articles or stories or blog posts that were awesome, and other people who used Google reader as their primary RSS feed reader could see what I recommended in their feeds too. Google reader has since been basically rendered useless as they tried to integrate their shared items into Google+, which nobody uses and can’t seem to be embedded into a sidebar. I’ve looked into Feedly and a few other online feed readers, but nothing has that particular feature that I’d love to see revived.

Any suggestions for a tool where I can a) read my RSS feeds, b) share items, and c) embed the shared items into the sidebar of this site??

There is also Tumblr, of course. I kind of wish I could just share my whole dashboard as recommendations of who to follow, but I guess that’s what the reblogging is for. My tumblr is mrsexsmith.tumblr.com and I try to keep up with that.

Meanwhile, here’s the Time Out NY article, and the links below that I sent them (many of which they didn’t include). These are sex blogs specifically—there are many other blogs I read often and eagerly, though I no longer have the daily habit of checking my reader first thing and reading The Entire Internet every day.

Erotic writings:
http://quickienewyork.com
http://www.writingdirty.com
http://bdswain.com/

Things I keep in my underwear drawer:
http://bedtimestories-daddy.blogspot.com/

Not frequently updated anymore, but influential on me:
http://www.247richardandamy.com/
http://devastatingyet.wordpress.com/
http://afeministsub.wordpress.com/
http://littlegirlyone.wordpress.com/

Writings about sex (more on the theory side):
http://www.charlieglickman.com/
http://clarissethorn.com/blog/
http://www.mollena.com/
http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/

Podcasts:
http://www.masocast.com
http://thestranger.com/savage

Community sites:
http://www.fearlesspress.com
http://filthygorgeousthings.com
http://www.scarleteen.com

Sometimes I feel very removed from the next new thing—I spent so much time marketing and promoting and doing workshops these days, and less and less time on the net. It does seem like there is a big lack of queer erotica writers sharing their work online. Who are your favorite writers or blogs? Are there queer sex blogs that I should be reading, but maybe don’t know about? Who are your favorite butch/femme bloggers? Who do you read every day? I’d love to know.

eLust #32 includes my story “The Pink Dress”

Welcome to e[lust], the sex blog round-up- The best posts from the hottest and smartest sex bloggers all in one place! This edition highlights topics such as libido, fake orgasms, teenage lust, voyeurism, BDSM consent and so much more. Want to be included in e[lust] #33? Start with the rules, come back in February to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

The Top Three Posts

Assent Matters by SherynBFind your emotional power to recognize and say “no” to what you don’t want BEFORE you get naked and tied up and give up your actual physical power to walk away to anybody.

Forever The Night‘Why the hell shouldn’t I listen? This is my home, my bedroom after all’. So I do listen and I do feel myself twitch at every minute sound on the other side of that fucking wall.

Hands. Fingers. Pleasure.This was the first time a boy’s fingers had such unfettered access to my pussy. Prior gropings under and through clothes had never been like this.

e[lust] Editress

The Fake Orgasm: You think you know, but you have no ideaI am 34 and I have faked orgasms. There ya have it. But I have never and will never qualify doing so as “I did it for him”.

Featured Post (Picked by Lilly)

Sadie Says… AwakeIn the haze of my missing libido I also lost myself. I began to wonder if I remembered who the hell I was?

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

e[lust] #30 Contains “The Boy At Summer Camp” in the Top 3

It’s been a while since I’ve participated regularly in these roundups, mostly because I’m not writing a lot of smut or stories to turn you on lately. I still read the top posts frequently and find excellent new sexblogs to read that way.

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #31? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

This Week’s Top Three Posts

Crotch Topiary & Other Delights – I admit I started simple, I realised my teenage dream of having a Winona-inspired heart emblazoned on my mound. It was perfect. I used Contact paper to design my heart and just went to town pulling out every hair that was not covered.

In Defense of Exclusion – Sometimes it’s nice to be with people who are like you. It’s nice to be around people who get your kink, your fetish – to be somewhere that you don’t have to explain it to.

The Boy At Summer Camp – It started with an email with the subject line “butch at your service,” and an offer for a blow job. And I thought, hm. Well, you know, I do like those. But I’m not usually attracted to boys.

e[lust] Editress

Ask Lilly: “My sex toy stinks – what should I do?” – Would you put it in your mouth with that smell? Would you gag from the smell and taste? If yes, then why the hell put it in your vagina or ass??

Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick)

A Day At The Circus

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

e[lust] #27 includes “Strapping On for the First Time”

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #28? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed and Twitter for updates and submission reminders.

This Week’s Top Three Posts

Ruby LOVES her body, so should YOU – What ever size you are, love yourself, be nice to yourself and concentrate on health instead of looks.

Performances So, of course, I don’t have any sensation in my cock, but holy baby Jeebus, sinking into her is so fucking hot that I groan right along with her.

10 reasons why I shouldn’t have had sex, but did anyway – I’ve written extensively about happy-sex; so now here are some of the more unpleasant reasons why I’ve had sex.

Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick)

Energy Orgasms – There is a moment, an incredible moment, when it feels like the universe is concentrated in my body.

e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable ~after this point~. Thank you, and enjoy!

e[lust] #15 includes my “Waking Up”

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #16? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Evolution – Open Marriage, Swinging, & Polyamory – Do we REALLY believe that there is one love for us? Do we really believe there’s one cock or pussy to fuck for the rest of our life?

Sweet To Taste – “I’m dinner tonight,” she breathes. “So don’t let me get cold before you start feasting.”

Having a boyfriend makes me feel fat I know my worth as a person isn’t devalued by my weight – but I can’t get past the notion that my worth as a partner is.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Fucked by a StrangerFor as long as I can remember, I’ve had this bizarre, twisted fantasy. The roads leading to it were different, but the end result the same: a stranger fucking a very willing me in my bed in the dead of night.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

At Her Mercy“You have been such a good boy today. Where do you want me to put your cock next?” she said with a wink.

See also: Pleasurists #78 and #79 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

2010 Sex Blogger Calendar Outtakes

The 2010 New York City Sex Blogger Calendar is well underway! If you don’t follow me on twitter (or follow the calendar itself on twitter) you may not know what amazing things are already going on behind the scenes.

First, SAVE THE DATE — November 6th 2009 is the official release party of the 2010 calendar here in New York City. Not sure of the venue or exact time, though you can bet I’ll let you know. Be there or be square, people!

The gorgeous and ever-proper Audacia Ray and I shot together this year, with the incredibly talented photographer Amanda Morgan. I first came across her work through my other site, Queer Eye Candy and suggested her to Tess and Diva as a potential photographer for the calendar, and to my great pleasure, she said yes. I so appreciate her time and participation in this project.

Dacia & I shot with Amanda at 7am in Times Square last week. We’re not revealing the final shot yet, but here are a few outtakes:

Dacia & me. not my best smirk, but adequate
Dacia & me.
not my best smirk, but adequate

 

Meanwhile, some of my other friends from the calendar are showing off their photo shoots, too. Here’s Jamye’s outtake, looking playful and fucking hot, as usual, and here’s some from Abiola.

What really caught my eye, though, are these video outtakes from Elizabeth – professor and pinup behind Sex in the Public Square – doing her shoot on the “Frying Pan, an historic lightship.” You might recall that I am, ah, quite fond of Elizabeth (i.e., I think she’s damn hot), and these outtakes are well worth watching. See three more over at the SitPS blog.

The 2009 Calendar is officially fully sponsored – meaning, every month has a separate sponsorship, NOT meaning that we won’t accept more money if you don’t know what to do with those hundred dollar bills that are currently serving as your inadequate mousepad – and we sold every single day in the calendar, much thanks to Miss Calico and her extreme generosity (read: nudity and bribes).

Do you see how hot this calendar is, people? Do ya? I mean seriously. If those teasers alone aren’t enough to make you march over to Dacia’s place and toss in your twenty bucks right now, I don’t know what will. Maybe if I ask you real nice? But, oh wait, I don’t do that. I order. I command. I instruct. So: do it. Buy a calendar. Support Sex Work Awareness and the incredible work of the media trainings like Speak Up!

dontmake dontmake 

See you at the party!

Pleasurists #36: includes “The New Big Cock”

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #35? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #37? Submit it here before Sunday July 12th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick

Pleasurists #20

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #19? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #21? Submit it here before Sunday March 15th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

On to the reviews…

Announcements: Three New Projects

I’ve got three new projects brewing, and they’re finally all just about ready for public launch.

toyswap-copyOne: The ToySwap Network

The idea started when I asked if anyone on Twitter had unused massage candles or massage oil just sitting around, and Dangerous Lilly offered up a nice little Babeland massage candle, and we started talking about how great it would be to have a place to swap the things we don’t use. Lots of sexbloggers are overrun with toys to review, and we end up with lots of things we don’t use or don’t want. So, we started doing some research about how to develop a little network for toy swapping, and after a bit of drama, we settled on Ning.com.

Unfortunately we might still have a bit of a problem here, since Ning.com updated their terms of service to not allow any “adult-themed” groups, but we’re trying to work that out with the administrators. Which is why I haven’t mentioned it yet.

But! Things are looking good! And the group is going strong! And today marks the beginning of our first Swap Week, where we hope folks will flock to do more trades than usual, to keep our lists updated and offer up the best of what we got.

If you want to join, you need an invitation to join our specific group but you can sign up at Ning.com and let me know you want to be a part of it with a comment here and I’ll send you a personal invitation.

Two: The Sugarbutch Recommended Amazon store


Hand-picked books, DVDs, & other products from Amazon.com and recommended just for you.

It’s a little peek into my bookshelves, really, because these are some of the best of the best books about gender, sex, sexuality, and theory that I’ve read, many of which I own. Hope you find some good recommendations and interesting things inside the store.

Three: Mr. Sexsmith Recommends … Hot queer porn movies on demand, through Hot Movies For Her

vodscreenshot

Sign up at Hot Movies for Her and receive 20 free minutes (usually you just get 10), then come back to VOD.sugarbutch.net to check out some of my hand-picked favorites. Quite possibly my favorite scene of all time – Episode 1 from the Crash Pad Series – is now included on HMFH. I also recommend Real Life in San Francisco and Good Dyke Porn and Post Apocalyptic Cowgirls and oh, right, I recommend everything in there, I picked it all out!

Last but not least:

Allyson is featured on Queer Eye Candy today. We’ve known each other for years – she’s one of the few folks still in my life who knew me before I came out. She’s started a new project at The Femme Domestic and it’s quite lovely so far.

The Community page has been slightly updated – I’m not great at keeping up with it, the RSS reader is a better way to see which blogs I’m reading. If you’d like to be added to the Community page, leave a comment or send me an email and I’ll get you updated soon.

Sugasm #157

This Week’s Picks

More Sugasm | Join the Sugasm | Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup Tuesday and Friday

My personal favorites:

(A Quick Fuck in a Shadowed Corner was also included in #157.)

Call for Contributions: Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom & Autonomy

The Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy, edition #14 is up at Silent Porn Star, and Sugarbutch is hosting the next Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy, edition #15, here.

That means, I am on the lookout for links about sexual freedom and autonomy. Email them to me to submit your site to the upcoming Carnival, which will be posted – here! – on Monday, January 26th.

That gives you almost TWO WEEKS! to write something. Get crackin’.

UPDATE: Deadline for submissions for the January 26th Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy #15 is this Friday, January 23rd. This’ll give me the weekend to read and compile the posts. Thanks!!

So, I am thinking about sexual freedom and autonomy. What does that really mean? How does that apply to feminist butches and femmes, to queers in this particular time (and place), to this community that I’m involved in of lesbian feminists exploring gender within the sexblog community?

I’m into words, so I have to start with what these terms mean.

Sexual Autonomy

Google helps me out with the definition of “autonomy”: personal independence; the capacity to make an informed, un-coerced decision; a person’s ability to make independent choices.

I’ve thought a lot about autonomy and choice, especially in terms of gender roles, of butch/femme, and the ways that exploring these gender dynamics often appear to be reproducing a compulsory gender hierarchy. One particular thing about choice that I want to reiterate is that I believe that all options have to be empowered and equally valued in order for it to be a real choice. The consequences to both choices have to be comparable.

If someone says, “Either you can eat this pile of dog poo, or you can eat this pile of carrots,” uh, that’s not really a choice.

So, sexual autonomy has to do with the ability to make choices based on all options being empowered, instead of having sexuality dictated upon you by cultural or gender stereotypes. Sexism is rampant, and androgyny is somewhat required in queer communities, so butch/femme roles are misunderstood, mistrusted, belittled, seen as archaic, and dismissed.

But autonomy in choosing to explore gender can come through 1) deconstructing the cultural expectations, identity alignment assumptions, and compulsory roles, especially regarding the ways that those things are destructive, hierarchical, and marginalizing; and 2) reconstructing selective parts in ways that have inner resonance, that “just make sense,” and are empowering.

I’m talking about gender autonomy here, I guess, not so much sexual autonomy – sexual autonomy would more be along the lines of … what? Choosing your sexual partners? Coming out? Claiming a kinky sexuality? The concept of autonomy automatically calls to my mind questions and issues about gender development and identity, perhaps because I feel that is more fragile than sexual autonomy – I think there is more discourse on sexual autonomy, claiming your own sexuality, learning yourself and your own sexual needs, etc.

Sexual Freedom

What does this really mean? What does it mean to be “sexually free”? The stereotype that would perhaps come to mind is someone promiscuous, sexually “liberated,” who has a lot of sex. And hey, that person might be sexually free, sure, but that’s not necessarily true, and definitely not the only way to look at it. What other ways are we able to exercise our “sexual freedom?”

So, considering these two concepts – sexual autonomy and sexual freedom – I have some questions for you:

What does “sexual autonomy” mean to you? What does “sexual freedom” mean to you?

Are there any particular stories you want to tell about gaining (or losing) your own sexual freedom or autonomy?

How does your knowledge of feminism play into the concepts of sexual freedom and autonomy?

How does your sexual autonomy or freedom conflict, interact, or engage with your feminist beliefs?

Any other questions or ideas you might have about these concepts?

I’m open to all sorts of posts – your submission to the Feminist Carnival does not have to specifically answer these questions. In my ideal dream world, here’s a list of folks who I would hand-pick to contribute to this conversation. Please consider writing something on these questions – or, at least, submitting something that you’ve worked on during the month of January.

Leo McCool
Freedomgirl
Butchtastic
Green Eyed Girl
Natt Nightly
Packing Vocals
Femme is my Gender
Queer Fat Femme
Fatgirl Femme
Just Like Jesse James
Ladies in Waiting
Miss Avarice
Femmeinist Fucktoy
Lesbian Dad
Jess I Am
Tina-cious
Don’t Let’s Talk
Essin’ Em
When or If
The Femme Show

(These are some of my favorite blogs, if you didn’t get that, so if you aren’t reading them already I highly recommend them. These folks keep me thinking, engaged, and conversing about sex and gender in ways that make my head twist in knots and light up and feel alive. Send my love to ’em all.)

Let’s queer (and butch/femme) up this Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy.

Sugasm #155: Top Three!

This Week’s Picks

More Sugasm | Join the Sugasm | See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

My other favorite pick of the week:

Sugasm #152 – editor’s pick!

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them.

This Week’s Picks

More Sugasm | Join the Sugasm | See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

still on the tip of my tongue (sugasm #136)

My piece about going down on Penny was featured on Sugasm today. Thanks!!

The best of this week’s sexblogs by the bloggers who blog them.

This Week’s Picks

More Sugasm | Join the Sugasm | Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

More of my personal favorites:

ask me anything

… go on, you know you want to.

In celebration of Sugarbutch Chronicle’s second anniversary, I’m going to follow one of my favorite blogger’s Ask Me Anything thread over at Zen Habits and open up the floor to any questions you might have for me. I can’t promise to answer 100 (as Zen Habits’s author Leo did) but I will answer as many as I can.

You already know how old I am (29), my favorite cock (Silky), and a whoooole lot about my relationship history in the past few years (see: every “girl” category over there in the sidebar). But what else do you want to know?

To echo Leo once again: You can ask me anything you want, from the personal to the professional to the philosophical and anything else you can think of. I can’t claim to have expert answers on anything, but I’ll do my best, and will profess ignorance when applicable.

128: such sexy shit

I’m sorry, but how fucking hot is this week’s sugasm photo of the girl with the stilettos? Damn damn damn.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them …

This Week’s Picks:

  • Fellatrices: C-u-n-n-i-l-i-n-g-u-s “Yep, sounds like the boyfriend needs a lesson,” she affirmed. “You just need to show him where to lick.”
  • In Plain Sight “She was laughing flirtatiously and he had a look of a cat that’s about to get the cream.”
  • Succor. The act of suspension removed me from my ego and placed me at the still point.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself (one from the vaults) Ten Things to Thank Porn For

Editor’s Choice: Half-Nekkid Thursday: My Hustler Debut

More SugasmJoin the Sugasm | See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

My favorites:

what I’m obsessing over

A small installment of what kept me busy surfing the net this weekend …

Yael Naim: New Soul (video) – “I’m a new soul / I came to this strange world / … Finding myself making every possible mistake.” It strikes me as quite appropriate for this gender exploration, and the social policing that means that our delicate gender identities take a while to fully form and solidify. See also: Yael’s cover of Britney Spears’s song Toxic – fantastic. I can’t say I know much about Britney in general, but like anyone who lives in the US, her songs are pretty much impossible to avoid, so I do know a little about her. Yael’s cover also reminds me of this cover of Britney’s new-ish single Gimme More, where suddenly I hear the lyrics in an entirely new way.

Can’t we call it cock? (article) by Diana Cage over on the OurChart blog about sex. Okay, so maybe I have a crush. I was on Diana’s radio show this week and she’s just so articulate and funny and fucken brilliant. (Of course, she’s taken, so I’ll be my chivalrous self and admire her from afar with boundaries.) After this article, you won’t be able to call it a “dildo” again without a firm Hobbit reference in your head.

Dungeon Beds (website & product for sale) – ohh my my. Secretly, I’ve always wanted a fancy four-poster bed, but I never quite envisioned one that wasn’t all girly and canopy-like. I can’t believe these. It never even occurred to me that something like this exists, but now that I know, I feel like it must be my goal in life to not only have one, but to have an adequate bedroom in which to house one. Wow.

I was reminded of the lovely cluster of sites I Feel Myself, I Touch Myself, I Shoot Myself, and Beautiful Agony. They aren’t exactly porn, even though they do feature people (mostly girls) getting off. They’re tasteful, erotic, real, sometimes so beautiful and raw that I get breathless. Watching one of the free previews on I Feel Myself: this girl is on the edge of a train car, gripping the metal of the door behind her, wearing thigh highs, cowboy boots, a thin slip of a dress, and a hat, with the trainyard in the background. It is gorgeous. It’s rare that I come across art that is made or written so well that I wish I’d done it, I get jealous of the artist’s very ability to create something so stunning. 

Dyke Tees (sponsor & product for sale) is Sugarbutch’s first official sponsor – that means advertisement, yes. You’ve probably noticed that I’ve added some advertisements and affiliates over in the left sidebar. I’m doing this because I am spending a lot of time on SBC, and if I could somehow make some compensation, between that and freelance writing, perhaps I could eventually make even more time to work on it. I have more ideas for posts than I have time to write them out, many products to review, lots of smut stories I wish I’ve written up for you. So: Dyke Tees! Thanks for your sponsorship. They’ve got some good tee shirts over there, I’m particularly fond of the Good Girl design with the image of a girl bound by rope … the caption says, “it’s only kinky the first time.” Hah! I also like the winged heart design on the tee shirt Love Without Labels, but we all know I like labels, and think they can be incredibly celebratory, so I probably wouldn’t actually wear it.

on a lighter note

Dylan Vade, who is behind one of my new favorite terms, “gender galaxy,” emailed me the other day to let me know about this resource section of articles on the gender galaxy and the Trannymals website. Trannymals, to quote Dylan, are “googley eyed genital creatures that celebrate bodies, challenge bad laws, and in general, spread gender galaxial ways.” Bad ass, and fun, and funky. Check it out.

Jennie at butchculture.com also contacted me recently. I appreciate what she’s doing over there.

Bad Man in a Bad Place recommended Stuff Lesbians Like.

In other news, I want this bit gag. Thanks for reviewing it, Shasta.

Have I mentioned recently how hot Madeline is?


pix from the February wax demo with Lolita and Madeline at LSM
Photos by Simone P. aka Sweet P, member of Tribe of NJ
(borrowed from Lolita’s blog)

occasional excitement

Some shout-outs & announcements:

  • I’ve had a few comments & emails recently about my ads, particularly that they include some NSFW photos, and some expression that this is a bummer, as they’d like to read my site at work. Well … here’s the thing. The design of this blog is made to be read in an RSS reader. The posts in the reader won’t have breasts or photos that are NSFW (though the written content is another story). I’ve said it before, but honestly, RSS feeds & readers are the biggest thing to happen to blogs since Blogger, I swear, and if you aren’t using one you’re really missing out. Some people have said to me, “But I like visiting people’s actual sites!” Yeah, I get that, and there is something valuable to design and format – I’m a graphic designer! I definitely understand. But even still, RSS readers are invaluable, and this site is definitely aimed to be read through one.
  • Following up on femininity & heterosexism, Figleaf has a new post about attraction, invitation, and the insufficiency of consent. Also, thanks to Jess over at the F-word Blog for the mention.
  • FetLife is a social networking site for the fetish community … and it’s fun. Come be my friend.
  • My first post is up over at The Lesbian Lifestyle blog, titled Consent is Sexy:

Sexy is in the physical communication between us. The way I compensate when she pulls back, which is the reason she pulls back in the first place: she likes to see me strain. Likes to pull desire from me like a soul-sucking kiss. Likes to entice and invite until I reach that breaking point and just have to take her down. Have to hold her still, keep her from moving, break those charms from her mouth and remind her that I am a little stronger, a little bigger, remind her that there are consequences to her toying.

  • Last fall’s Sugarbutch Star contest hit a standstill for a few months there, and there was only ONE more story to finish. Well, today’s your lucky day – the very last piece (Shannon, a photography shoot) is almost complete, and will go up this weekend. In the meantime, review the other fabulous entries and decide which ones are your favorites, cause I’ll be asking you, the readers, to vote on them all, and determine whose story will be the winner. Any good suggestions for prizes? I have my own ideas, but I’m open to others.
  • I’m, yet again, compiling a list of the queer women sexblogs out there. Got any good ones to suggest that I don’t have listed in the community?

“Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity”

I have much to write about, I’m working on a couple pieces for you, more rantings on re-valuing masculinity, something about butch stubble, and of course there’s the aforementioned “Therapy session” where Miss DD & I got kicked out of a bathroom at a gayboy club.

Also, I’ve slightly changed the settings on my WordPress template so that it no longer produces /#/ in the URLs. If you’ve linked here, and you have that in the code, you might discover that your link no longer works. Just sayin’.

Also, for that matter, some of you are still linking to my old blogspot address – please check your linkrolls and update to www.sugarbutch.net.

Meanwhile, I’ve been a bit caught up in all the politics of the presidential race. I, like so many, am going back & forth between Hillary and Obama (interesting that we call her by her first name, isn’t it? I know she’s perpetuated that in her campaign, but still). My inner brain argues, She’s so experienced! She could really fix some of the bad stuff that’s happened! But – he’s such an orator! An inspiring leader! I get so inspired by his politics, in a way that I never get riled up when I hear politicians speak!

(Apparently my inner brain speaks primarily in exclamation points.)

I’d be pretty happy with either one, honestly. There are benefits and drawbacks to each. It hit me this week that we will, most likely, I really believe, either have a woman or a black man as president next year. That’s phenomenal. I remember hearing the rumors a few years back that Obama and Hillary would likely be running and I thought, really? Are we ready for that? This country seems so bass-ackwards and I can hardly believe we would elect a minority, of any kind, after we elected W twice. TWICE! Sometimes I think this country deserves what it gets.

I’m sure you’ve seen it by now, it is certainly making the rounds, but just in case you haven’t: the “Yes We Can” speech Obama made was set to music by will.i.am of the Black-Eyed Peas and overlayed with some celebrity singers, and it’s brilliant. The speech by itself is even brilliant, but lord, I love this so very much.

And hey, help me out here: who is the white chick with the fabulous mouth and the plunging v-neck showing off her cleavage who is singing in the “Yes We Can” video? Someone told me this was one of the Pussycat Dolls, but I think that’s the other girl, not the one I mean. There’s a list of all the celebrities on yeswecansong.com but I don’t recognize enough of the names to figure it out.

Sometimes lately I’ve been thinking that we need a great leader even more than we need someone who will be able to navigate the system, because hell, I and so many people I talk to are so disillusioned with politics right now. How many times did I hear “I’m moving to Canada” or “I haven’t been able to watch any political speech or debate or a word that W says since 2002” or “why even bother? this country is run by the elite” or et cetera in the last eight years? We – the liberals, the radicals, the social change fighters – need some hope and inspiration.

A few other links, before I stop ranting politically:

And: if you’d like to follow some of the articles and blog posts that I’ve been reading lately, you can either subscribe to my Google Reader RSS feed, or add me as a friend on your own Google Reader (I’m under aspiringstud (at) gmail (dot) com), or look over in the sidebar, now, where I added a clip of my shared items.


While I’m doing some housecleaning, let me also let you know that I’ve been invited to join the Lesbian Bloggers Blogads Hive (thanks Kelly!), which means that you may be seeing some ads appear on this site in the near future. I have such grand plans for Sugarbutch, and I love the ways that people are responding and contributing and communicating with me – and with each other – about so many of the things that I’ve brought up here, and I want to be able to do more, but I currently can’t devote as much time to it as I’d like. I’m hoping that, if it begins to make me some money, I’ll be able to clear more time in my schedule for it, write more, make some changes, keep it up better. I hesitate, though, because I really do think that ads compromise a blog’s integrity, but I’m trying to remember that these labors of love are expensive and time consuming, and I – we all – deserve to be compensated for our time and hard work.

I’ll keep you updated as the quest for compensation progresses. Ideas are always welcome.

That concludes your random political/community post for today … we will return you to your regularly scheduled smut on Sugarbutch Chronicles soon.