Dear West Coast, See You Soon

Posted on November 2, 2011 in omphaloskepsis | 3 Comments

In prep for my trip, I had to of course go get cleaned up. Doesn’t Joey at Tomcats do an amazing job? I have never had a bad haircut there. I only wish I could recreate the height after I wash it … though I suspect in part it is because of the handfulls of product he adds to my hair.

I’ve been trying to grow it out a bit, let it get a little longer on top so I can go back to the pomp I’ve had in the past. Winter seems like a good time to do that. The length has been driving me nuts the past few weeks, but I put it off long enough so that it’ll be fresh and clean for my trip out West.

What trip out west, you ask? Well, the one where I’ll be starting a tantra training, the first of five weekends in Seattle over the next year, and then I head to San Francisco for the Outside the Boxes queer Body Electric workshop that has been in the works for the last six or so months. It is definitely happening and probably going to be full, in fact! We might even have a waiting list! And—good news—we are planning to do it twice in 2012, once in New York City and once in Toronto. I’ll let you know the exact dates as soon as I have them.

I’m doing a couple more things out west while I’m visiting—no wait, scratch that, it’ll just be one other event, a Talking Dirty workshop at Seattle’s Center for Sex Positive Culture, known in my day as the Wet Spot. I was going to have a workshop in Oakland but that looks like it’s fallen through, though I’m hoping to do it in the spring.

So I’ve turned on my vacation auto-responder, and my flight to Seattle leaves tomorrow afternoon. I may have some time to write while I’m gone, but things may be a bit quiet over here while I’m traveling. You can always follow me on Twitter or on Facebook if you want to know what I’m up to on a slightly more daily basis.

3 Comments | Category: omphaloskepsis | Tags: a (good) haircut makes everything better, don't fuck with butch hair, eye candy, haircut, photos of me, speaking of product ... no nevermind I'll cut that part out, thus begins the school year of travel, tomcats barbershop, traveling, workshops workshops workshops

Protected: Coming Out

Posted on October 18, 2011 in poetry | Enter your password to view comments.

Enter your password to view comments. | Category: poetry | Tags: chapbooks, character study, coming out, get the password at http://bit.ly/4swLsN, identity, integration, password, pleasure boat studio, poetry, things I've published

Protected: Getting My Feet Under Me

Posted on October 17, 2011 in omphaloskepsis | Enter your password to view comments.

Enter your password to view comments. | Category: omphaloskepsis | Tags: get the password at http://bit.ly/4swLsN, good friends are so important, how I make my life, how I make my living, I don't really mean that about ebooks it was supposed to be an extreme example, I don't want to go back to the corporate world, I love my job, metaphors, or you can always donate me some cash via paypal, password, still booking college gigs! that would help, the artist/activist/performer's life

Protected: My Business With God

Posted on October 11, 2011 in omphaloskepsis | Enter your password to view comments.

So Then There Was That Time I Left My Dick In the Laundry …

Posted on September 22, 2011 in omphaloskepsis | 16 Comments

Folks who live outside of New York City, you might not quite understand this one, but here in this ridiculous metropolis, people rarely do their own laundry. That’s not actually true for me and Kristen, since we actually do have laundry facilities in our building (three of which have been broken for months, but that’s a different post), but at other apartments I’ve had, especially when I was working a full time job, it was about the same amount of money to do my own laundry at the laundromat three blocks away as it was to drop it off and pick it up, and the latter did not include three hours of my time or putting up with laundromat culture. So I dropped it off to have done.

That’s rare now. Probably less than half a dozen times in the four years I’ve lived at this apartment. But after the weekend at camp, and our week being completely packed, Kristen and I decided to drop our laundry off nearby and just get it done with.

When we went to pick it up yesterday, this happened:

Launderer: There was something plastic in there, I didn’t want to put it in the dryer.

Me: (Noticing my Pete packing undies tucked next to the plastic bag in the laundry basket) Uh, no problem.

Launderer: I just didn’t want to … Hurt it.

Me: (Kinda speechless, realizing it was more than just the undies) I’m sure it’s okay.

Kristen said, in the car on the way home, that I have frequently left cocks in my laundry basket, and she kind of likes that. Finding them in there. Clearly I’ve gotten too comfortable doing my own laundry, and need to go through it just a bit more carefully if I send it out.

It’s not that big a deal, and really I’m sure the person at the laundromat has had worse things show up in people’s laundry baskets, things I don’t even want to know about. And in some ways I bet this is almost explanable for her, that two lesbians come in and the “mannish” one leaves a soft packing dick in her clothes, because of course I want to “be the man.” I cringe at reinforcing that stereotype, and want to explain the more complexities of gender, but it’s almost, kind of, true.

Ah, the adventures of being butch in New York City never end.

16 Comments | Category: omphaloskepsis | Tags: cocks, embarrassing moments, it could have been worse, laundry, new york city living, note to self: separate your dicks, packing, spareparts, the Pete packing undies are really awesome

Sex Positive Photography Photoshoot, aka I’m On A (House)Boat

Posted on September 19, 2011 in photographs | 6 Comments

When I visited the Bay Area in the end of August I met up with Shilo McCabe, the photographer who is behind The Sex Positive Photo Project, and we wandered around my friend’s houseboat where I was staying.

I had a great time and she made me feel very comfortable in front of the lens. These are my favorites of the photos she’s sent me so far.

This one is my favorite.

Thank you, Shilo.

6 Comments | Category: photographs | Tags: butch style, eye candy, I'm a little bit in love with the bay area, photography, portraits of me, yes that is a flogger, yes that is my friend with her butch cock out behind me

On Cheryl’s Birthday, Femme Earrings, and Social Media

Posted on September 19, 2011 in omphaloskepsis | 2 Comments

I’ve returned from Dark Odyssey’s Summer Camp, which was phenomenal and I have so much to say about it, like all the retreat/weekends I’ve been on lately—and since there’s so much to say it’s so much harder to say it, because I get overwhelmed, so I don’t write anything at all. The weather at Summer Camp—cloudy, sometimes rainy, not very warm—was excellent for my butch outfits (v-neck sweater or sweater vest over button down and a tie, suit jacket, leather jacket, jeans, boots) but not so excellent for Kristen’s outfits, who wanted to bring sundresses and the tiny little bow shirt but instead brought jeans and boots and sweater dresses, no less sexy but less exhibitionist fun perhaps. I mention that mostly because someone asked. But thankfully the sun was out when we had a quick portrait session with Stacie Joy, so there might be some shots of Kristen’s (gorgeous) tits in the future, we’ll see how they turn out.

My processing of the fourth amazing erotic retreat/weekend in three months is derailed a little bit by today’s date: it’s Cheryl’s birthday. Nicole Fix, who spoke at Cheryl’s memorial, wrote a lovely piece for GO magazine about it.

This weekend, at a lovely moment in bed, I don’t remember which one, Kristen was wearing these hoop earrings in square shapes, and I suddenly had a strong remembrance of exactly their source. I didn’t want to interrupt the moment, but I felt a strong surge of emotion, grief and sadness and the tragedy of it all.

Later, when we were just chatting, I said, “I love those earrings. Do you remember where they came from?”

She had shadows in her eyes right away. “Cheryl.”

“Yes,” I had taken them from Cheryl’s jewelry collection, when I was helping Kelli clean out Cheryl’s apartment, to give to Kristen. Cheryl was known for her hoops, one of her signature looks, along with her red lipstick, and I snagged a lot of the ones that Cheryl wore regularly. “But also, I gave them to her. On her birthday last year, you and I bought them together, but I picked them out. We brought them to Sideshow along with some little cupcakes.” I’m kind of good at picking out jewelry. I love that skill, love being able to provide just the right thing for the femmes in my life. I’m glad Kristen has some of her jewelry, but sometimes it’s shocking and catches me off guard.

We held each other in silence for a few minutes, remembering. That was such a great night. Sideshow was just starting to take off. We had a fabulous line up, Back to School. I miss Sideshow. Cheryl hadn’t been diagnosed with cancer yet. No one knew that would be her last birthday.

“Wasn’t that about a year ago?” Kristen asked. We couldn’t remember Cheryl’s exact birth date, but it was in the fall, right? Was it September or October Sideshow?

When I got back to my computer this morning, the first thing in my Facebook feed was all sorts of folks posting on Cheryl’s wall, “happy birthday!” as if they don’t know. As if they were wishing her to have a happy, celebratory day. I know that’s what Facebook does—”so and so has a birthday today, wish them a happy birthday”—and that’s how folks respond, by doing what a social network program automatically tells them what to do, so the response becomes “happy birthday,” regardless of the relationship or the knowledge we may have missed in the last few months.

I cringed, and teared up, but more than that feel protective of Kelli, and of Cheryl becoming some sort of public persona/domain figure which people don’t really know, but on to which they project. Apparently that is an ongoing problem for close friends who have died, especially in the queer/performance worlds. This is new for me.

Thinking a lot of Cheryl lately, and especially today. I miss her so much.

My favorite shot of us by Syd London

2 Comments | Category: omphaloskepsis | Tags: birthday, cheryl, dark odyssey, everyone at dark odyssey thought the ruler tattoo was for fisting (which it is but also for measuring things), facebook, grief and other big emotions, projection, social media politics

Thanks, Tomcats. I needed that haircut

Posted on September 13, 2011 in photographs | 4 Comments

Gotta look snappy for Dark Odyssey! I thought I was going to head down to Baltimore tonight for that workshop at Sugar and head right to camp, but instead I’m going to stay in New York for two more nights and head in early on Thursday morning. I definitely want to be there for the first workshop (uh and I think I am teaching a workshop that hour, so I better be), and preferably for orientation at noon, so I’m going to aim for early. Earlier than I like to get up. As much as I would have liked to be at Sugar tonight, I’m glad to have two more nights here at home to prepare and get some more details for my workshops worked out.

Tomcats is still my favorite barber shop in New York. Joey is my favorite, but Olivia did a really amazing job with Kristen’s hair on Sunday—I’ll see if I can snap a good shot of her new haircut and show it off for y’all, it looks fierce and fun and serious. Plus, her hanky flower came last weekend, so I want to show y’all a photo of that anyway.

I see from my Facebook feed that a few friends of mine have started going to Tomcats regularly … I hope they’re treating you as well as they have me.

4 Comments | Category: photographs | Tags: are you sick of photos of me yet?, eye candy, haircut, how to look dapper, I like going somewhere regularly because they start to get to know me, it's hard to find a queer and butch-friendly place, photographs, tomcats

Some Butch Voices Photos from Cohn Frankel Photography

Posted on September 12, 2011 in photographs | 1 Comment

Thanks to Lauren who was taking some shots at Butch Voices NYC and who snapped these of my Cock Confidence workshop at Feelmore 510, which is a beautiful toy shop and art gallery space in Oakland.