psst … post script, on eye candy

August 7, 2008  |  miscellany

Part of the deal of me posting eye candy is that you, as readers and appreciators of the butch/femme dynamic, which I assume you probably are if you are visiting this site, are required to comment about how hot the butch is.

Hey, it’s hard to be objectified as “eye candy.” It’s hard to be judged purely on sexiness and looks and hotness and female masculinity appeal. So we must give these butches lotsa love.

And Dani is particularly hot. See what I’m getting at? There should really be more than two comments on that post.

I’m not usually toppy or controlling about comments, but part of the entire point of posting photos of butches is to celebrate female masculinity, especially in the face of a community that often villifies butches with nothing short of blame for the entire oppression of women, feminists, lesbians, dykes, etc. Cause that’s all our faults, you know. If we were only a little more of a “real woman” (read: conforming to our prescribed societal gender role) we wouldn’t be so oppressed.

So please, spoil the eye candy, will ya?

I’ve been thinking lately about how to do an equivalent of femme eye candy series. It might be called something like “femme not straight,” but I’m not exactly sure how to do that without it becoming “photos of pretty girls” which, though that’s awesome, is I think a cheap blog trick. Any interest or ideas?

Speaking of eye candy, I’ve got some good ones coming up. A filmmaker, and a butch on a motorcycle, great photos both. Keep sending ‘em in, or tag ‘em sugarbutch on flickr.

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13 Comments


  1. I’ve been thinking lately about how to do an equivalent of femme eye candy series. It might be called something like “femme not straight,” but I’m not exactly sure how to do that without it becoming “photos of pretty girls” which, though that’s awesome, is I think a cheap blog trick.

    I once wanted to strip at a lesbian event and was told that I'd have to do something to make it clear that I'm gay — otherwise I'm just a feminine woman stripping, just like a straight stripper. Just a pretty girl. It still bothers me when I think about it. That I couldn't just be who I am because that wasn't queer to the person who got to decide what queer was.

    What I'm getting at is that I don't see what's so wrong with photos of pretty girls. If the femme is a pretty girl and it's a photo of her, it's not a trick. We can't help it if we cause traffic spikes. :)

  2. I sent you some pics, even though I knew I wasn't the kind of eye candy you wanted…but I think you should acknowledge queer femmes, i mean this is why we have these conferences..I often feel like the only heads i turn are straight men, and being looked at like i'm a hetero is such an unsexy feeling

  3. you're the best, sinclair.

    and when dani's done reading all of this, her head is going to be even bigger than it is! haha

  4. Hi Sinclair, the day before you posted this I had a conversation with my friend (femmeismygender) on posting comments generally. She has recently started blogging and was telling me that so many people visit her blog, spend hours reading but don't leave comments. And obviously it can be quite frustrating not to get feedback, or even a "thanks that was interesting". So, note to self – don't be lazy / shy, say something!

  5. Yes, please post pics of femmes and help fight femme invisibility! I’m all in favor of femme autonomy, but in this case I’d hate to see you segregate images of butches and femmes. Personally I think it would be more subversive and ultimately more inclusive to welcome a range of lesbian genders under the “eye candy” banner.

  6. It is always difficult, even for femmes to make clear that there is a very strong and particular gender-bender attitude in our attire and look. I love the idea of the section being called "femme not straight". Maybe you could make it "Femme, not straight… honey" as part of a hot reply… But, of course, I'm just buzzing…

    For images of real fierce queer femmes I would recommend Del Lagrace Volcano and Ulrika Dahl (2008) Femmes of Power. Exploding Queer Femininities, London: Serpent Tail, and also check Del's web page http://www.dellagracevolcano.com

    Cheers!

  7. ……and I myself will try harder not to be so lazy/shy too. I am as guilty as anyone else!

  8. I love the idea of showing what about us is femme, not straight. the subtle signals we send, the ways that our femininity is subverted and queer and our own.

    perhaps we femmes could submit photos of attire or style elements that, to us, are distinctly femme, and not just feminine. for me, that includes tattoos and piercings alongside pearls and other classic feminine elements, vintage-looking shoes with a subtle fetishy flair, and fishnets with almost everything. we can keep it arty, so it's not just pictures of pretty girls.

    I love the idea of using this space to document the language of symbols that we use to communicate our gayness. we can create a femme style lexicon that can help spell out our visibility to all the attentive butches and queers that care enough to look closely.

    p.s. "femme not straight" is borrowed from an awesome redheaded femme I saw dancing like mad at Cattyshack a few Prides ago. she had long straight hair down her back and a skirt and heels and a white t-shirt on which she'd scrawled the phrase in black marker. I was early in my understanding of gender and femmeness at the time, and I thought it summed it up perfectly: yes, I'm feminine, but don't misunderstand – I'm gay too. lately, I've been making myself t-shirts and buttons and stickers with the phrase. I love it. so thank you, radical visible redheaded femme. you made a big impact on me.

  9. Some great comments here. I love the idea of Femme eye candy (as well as Butch eye candy). Anything that makes us all more visible and therefore more understood is a good thing. And this is a safe space for that to happen.

  10. You nailed it, muse: "we can create a femme style lexicon that can help spell out our visibility to all the attentive butches and queers that care enough to look closely." Well said!

    Thanks, Carmen, for recommending Femmes of Power–it looks fantastic. Is it available in the US yet? What about representations of queer femininity in Del Lagrace Volcano's previous book, _Sublime Mutations_? Worth buying?

  11. Dear Sublime Femme,

    I do think the book is available in the US. It is in Europe, for sure…

    About Sublime Mutations, and in general, all Del's work… what can I say? I'm a total fan!!

    Thanks Muse for your tip on the phrase "femme not straight"

    Cheers again!

  12. I agree that its not always easy to navigate the femme eye candy issue. Along that line, I wanted to share a few pics that V’s given me permission to post. I think the second’s my favorite in terms of sexy gender subversion. They’re here, here, and here (Sin, this one I thought you might especially appreciate).

  13. What about "Femme does not equal feminine" or something like that?

    I'll submit a photo :)

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