If I Was Being Really Honest

If I was being really honest with myself, I would _________________.


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Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith is a genderqueer kinky butch writer who teaches and performs, specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They've written at sugarbutch.net since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the Top Sex Blogs. Sinclair's gender theory and queer erotica is widely published in anthologies like Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, and online at Feministing, Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more; they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press. Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut, Sinclair's first book of short erotic stories, was published in 2014. They use the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself, and live in Oakland, CA with their boy.

19 thoughts on “If I Was Being Really Honest”

  1. greg says:

    admit that I'm still really scared. I don't want her to know that but she pays such close attention that I know she sees it.

  2. laura luna says:

    stop trying to be so stoic and admit to myself that it really does bother me to see hir with her…

  3. arse says:

    …recognize that I'm too much of a snob to keep her in my life. I love the money and success that I've worked so hard for, but we don't speak the same language anymore. As sweet as she is, she can't hider her resentment and I can't tell her about my life.

  4. Miss Quickley says:


    And see whether or not it really makes a difference if I stay or go.

  5. Kitcat says:

    admit it really was my fault and maybe I could have done something differently.

  6. anonymous says:

    fuck all my friends.

  7. Natt Nightly says:

    take responsibility for my apathy.

  8. freedomgirl says:

    have to tell my yoga teacher how much I want to sleep with her.

  9. Bad Bad Girl says:

    deal with the guilt and file for divorce.

  10. Lilly says:

    Quit my job and move to Connecticut. Close enough to NYC and close enough to R to get what I need from both right now.

  11. Joy says:

    Keep doing exactly what I’m doing.
    And flirt harder with the girl who let me grope her cock last week.
    And jump the boy in the kilt.
    And set aside three days for quiet retreat and meditation.

  12. Angel says:

    Let someone love me.

  13. monstar says:

    ..relax and recognise that no matter what I do, no matter how well-behaved and blameless I was and am, it's not fucking coming back. I can't sustain it because it's a two-person deal – a relationship – and I can't provide joy for two. Stop seeing optimism in the insignificant details and start sincerely trying to get over it.

    (Stop calling it optimism.)


    But it hasn't been very long and everything is still so fucking raw.

    In other words; if I was being really honest with myself, I would. But I won't.

  14. Diviva says:

    move away and stop struggling to hold onto scrumbles

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