what sex bloggers do when we get together

Viviane‘s tea party of sex bloggers yesterday was yet again an amazing gathering. The conversation was mostly sex & general geekery like WordPress templates. logo design, site counters, anonymity and blog traffic.And then there was the sex. D/s verses topping and bottoming, penises and balls (I tried to keep a straight face, really I did), strap-on cocks, how bio cocks malfunction, oral fixation, flogging, single-tail whips …

Eileen mentioned that she particularly likes sex play that involves skill, and I have to borrow that from her and agree – skill is hot. Making difficult things look easy is hot. Single tail whips and play piercing are fucken hot. And did I mention that I’d like to be in a room with her again soon? Yes.

In other news:

Avah was adorible and makes lovely noises when tickled; Wendy has a seriously quick wit that included, “Casual sex?! What the fuck, as if the rest of my sex life has a top hat and tails?”

Maymay and I discovered that we were apparently twins separated at birth – well, in the ways that we like women, anyway. Tess was stunning and articulate; Susan and I had lots to talk about regarding anonymity and women bloggers; Selina did not disappoint in her nudist philosophies.

I caught up with the busy lives of Dacia and Rachel, two gals I’d really like to see more of – sounds like Dacia has some new projects and I am definitely submitting something to a new anthology of Rachel’s. Also, Rachel’s got a new Crossdressing Erotica blog and has some great things about gender bending and gender presentation. I’m reviewing her new book, Crossdressing Erotica one of these days (I swear).

It was a particular pleasure speaking to speak to Sissy Maid Stephanie, who talked a bit about cross-dressing in her (his? forgive me if I use a pronoun you don’t prefer) daily life, and I found myself particularly identified with that, as someone who wears men’s clothes, but clearly in a separate category than she is at the same time. I admire her, I’d like to talk to her more about that.

I didn’t get his name, but there was a guy there who was quite impressive with a flogger. Made me want to be his apprentice. I need to practice.

I didn’t have a chance to talk to Jefferson about his recent post on his ex and kids, but I’d hoped to – I emailed him to tell him I empathize. I did get to mention that we should make OLTT/WWJD shirts, and he said he’ll put me in charge of his merch. (Dude, I am a graphic designer, don’t forget I start cafepress stores for fun).

And just before I left, Chris and Mickey asked nicely to see my cock, so I unzipped and showed it off.

I’d brought it for the party, yes; but I’d also brought it for the date I was going to after, a particularly beautiful southern girl (not Belle) who was just in town for a day. But that is a different post.

Sometimes, like this weekend, I fucken love living in this city.

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith is a genderqueer kinky butch writer who teaches and performs, specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They've written at sugarbutch.net since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the Top Sex Blogs. Sinclair's gender theory and queer erotica is widely published in anthologies like Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, and online at Feministing, Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more; they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press. Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut, Sinclair's first book of short erotic stories, was published in 2014. They use the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself, and live in Oakland, CA with their boy.

15 thoughts on “what sex bloggers do when we get together”

  1. Wendy says:

    The skilled flogger was Boymeat. :)

  2. AlwaysArousedGirl says:

    I have the same cock as you!:)

  3. aisforalisha says:

    hey, i review for EF, too… ^_^

  4. maymay says:

    With all the NY-based EdenFantasys reviewers, we could, like, start another tea party or something.

  5. aisforalisha says:

    we need a NY EF meetup.. but i'm upstate most of the time :(

  6. maymay says:

    What's your handle on EdenFantasys, Alisha? I'm maymay, which I'm sure is not a surprise. :) I noticed Sinclair also just goes by Sinclair.

  7. aisforalisha says:

    my review isn't cleared yet so my profile isn't on the list apparently..?

  8. Calico says:

    Oh, man, I am so sad I had to work. I just knew you and Eileen would hit it off though!

  9. Viviane says:

    Heeere's Boymeat & Stephanie:http://tinyurl.com/2e87u8I keep saying we need to have a sex toy swap meet at some point. Everyone likes learning about new things.So glad you were there.

  10. Eileen says:

    This is me grinning.Calico, you were so right.

  11. sinclair sexsmith says:

    uh huh. I second that: you were right, Calico. missed you there.Lolita, I covet your skills.alisha & may, great idea – a EF reviewers party … sounds ambitious!

  12. Lolita says:

    Sinclair, I can teach you!

  13. sinclair sexsmith says:

    lolita (sir): really? ohhh I may just take you up on that! (as soon as I get over my pride at not being as good at it as I'd like to think I am.) can we work out a trade? I will email you.

  14. Avah says:


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