what I haven’t told you I believe about love

that I love freely and with dangerous abandonthat I fall in love at least twelve times a day – sometimes with the same person, sometimes each one is different

that love is a choice and must continue to be chosen in order to sustain

that love and sex are not for procreation or recreation, but for concentration – because there are just too many people in the world*

that divinity is within us, and accessed through practices of loving

that I am at my best when I am naked laughing with you

that I am trusting, sometimes to a fault

that I am fiercely loyal

that I believe in romance like a religion and will gladly offer prayer every time I see the edges of you blur a little bit

that sex play is always of the highest priority, and I will always be late, sleep in, and skip obligations for it

that I have never seen anything more gorgeous than you are right now**

that I live in my heart, nestled down into each chamber with a different story to tell and a different wisdom to hear

that I love too hard too fast too soon, but that is the only way I know how to fall

that most of us have unlearned the innate impulse of how to let the soft animals of our bodies love what they love***

that nothing is forever, but if we can bend together to time’s winds, we can weather anything

that I don’t really know what I’m doing or how any of this works, but I think I’m pretty neat, and I trust my strengths and virtues and vices to carry me through all of these paths that I am walking

that love is never permanent, but it changes me every single fucking beautiful time


* the film “opposite of sex”
** poet andrea gibson
*** poet mary oliver

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith is a genderqueer kinky butch writer who teaches and performs, specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They've written at sugarbutch.net since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the Top Sex Blogs. Sinclair's gender theory and queer erotica is widely published in anthologies like Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, and online at Feministing, Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more; they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press. Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut, Sinclair's first book of short erotic stories, was published in 2014. They use the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself, and live in Oakland, CA with their boy.

3 thoughts on “what I haven’t told you I believe about love”

  1. srchngformystry says:

    heres one that i love about love:love is so short; forgetting is so long.-pablo neruda.

  2. sexcakes says:

    i fall in love with nearly every other girl i see…

  3. Anonymous says:

    Speechless and breathless. Your words consume me.

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