Jiz Lee called Kristen to wish her happy birthday, too, and told this little fantasy about running into each other on a crowded train. Not so far off from the last time we had a drink with Jiz …
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Train Fantasy
Tag: do-be-do-be-do
“Sexy birthday wishes from sunny California”
Soooooo I asked some of my friends & mentors to do me a little favor and call up and record a voice mail of birthday wishes for Kristen, and I’ll be publishing a few of them today. Here’s the first one, from S.I.R. Productions’ and Good Vibes COO Jackie Strano: “Sexy birthday wishes from sunny California.”
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Photo borrowed from Jackie’s Facebook account.
Review: Hard Love & How to Fuck in High Heels (DVD)
As of 2/8/16 This product is no longer available at Babeland
This was absolutely the first butch/femme porn I ever saw, and it blew my mind. I had a VHS version until a few years ago – not sure what happened to it exactly, actually, haven’t seen it since my cross-country move four years ago.
But: it was made in 2000. And I was OBSESSED with it in 2001. So when Babeland offered it up, I jumped, but wondered nervously: would it hold up? Would it be outdated?
Hard Love & How to Fuck in High Heels consists of two different films: Hard Love, which stars Jackie as directed by Shar, and How to Fuck in High Heels, starring Shar and directed by Jackie.
What’s that? “Who are Shar & Jackie?” Oh, right. I talk about them both on a first-name basis as if I know them, but really I don’t. (I did meet Shar once though. She asked me if I was packing. I was. It was hot, and I blushed hard. Did I ever write that story up on Sugarbutch?) They are a queer butch/femme couple, Shar Rednour and Jackie Strano, who I’ve known of since their porn company, S.I.R. Productions, put out both this film and others (such as Sugar High Glitter City – full review of that one coming soon too). I was obsessed with On Our Backs, too, and I vaguely remember them being featured in there at least once or twice. They were a high-profile visibly queer butch/femme couple when I was a babydyke, and I saw them as mentors and roll models, even if I didn’t actually know them.
They’ve now been together 16 years. There was a great article in the The SF Chronicle recently about them and their three kids, which mentioned Sharlene’s Babycakes.
(Photo reprinted without permission from The SF Chronicle)
Hard Love is not just a porn – it attempts a plot, a pair of former lovers who are still intertwined, and the two others they are now currently fucking. There were a few arguments between the characters – which, though I expected them, I found myself asking my computer, “really? I mean I know this is realistic and all, but can’t I have my porn lesbian-drama-free? Must I deal with lesbionic relationship bullshit? I just want to get off …” yet I found myself invested, identifying with the characters (Jackie especially).
I admire the attempt by S.I.R. productions (which apparently stands for Sex, Indulgence, and Rock ‘n’ Roll) to put together a story, but also find it generally unnecessary, and sometimes distracting.
How to Fuck in High Heels is the shorter, second part of this video, consisting of one of Shar’s performance poetry pieces of the same name. It is smutty, and showcases some great femme wear and cocks and heels, but it isn’t porn the way Hard Love is. I do love it, because it’s Shar, because I’ve seen it a hundred times, because it reminds me of queer performance poetry open mics. But it too is dated, and f I didn’t have the history, the relationship, with S.I.R., I would probably be more critical. Still, in the interest of, ah, the evolution of dyke porn, this is a significant piece. And if you dig hot blonde femmes and strong sexy butches, you’ll love it.
I was thrilled by it when I popped in the DVD and saw the familiar opening scene. You know how some movies are just forever embedded in your consciousness? Yeah, this one is. I studied the sex scenes with Jackie, though I wasn’t certain wy she fascinated me so much. Did I want to do her or be her?
I love the scene when the femme is getting fucked in the kitchen. I love the scene where Jackie’s ex meets up with her boi and does a striptease. I love watching Jackie jerk off while her lover eggs her on with dirty talk. I love Jackie’s enthusiastic jump into the tub to be with her, later.
I loved it, but I hesitated to show it to Kristen. The clothes and hairstyles and shoes were dated. The camera work wasn’t great, either – not compared to the recent high quality dyke porn. I worried she’d be critical of it, and I worried I had too much invested in it, given that it’s imprint is burned on my brain like the burnt in ghostly imprint of text on an old monitor.
Eventually, Kristen and I did sit down to watch it, and her reaction was much as I suspected. We didn’t make it through the first scene, but I insisted we forward it to the dirty talk/jerk off session. “Don’t you want to watch Jackie come?” I enticed, knowing how much she appreciates a butch orgasm. She watched with interest, lips parted. I watched her. Then she insisted we turn it off and go fuck.
I’d say it’s still got it’s charm.
Stay tuned for reviews of Sugar High Glitter City, S.I.R. Production’s 2nd butch/femme porn, and a porn giveaway of both of those DVDs!
You should buy Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels at Babeland.
New music from the lesbian staple
The Indigo Girls have a new album out on March 24th, Poseidon and the Bitter Bug
I’m sorry but, helloooooo Amy Ray. That is a fabulous photo – of them both! – and really the only reason I’m writing this review is so I can point out how freakin butch Amy Ray is. In fact, I saw her live with her band – her ALL-BUTCH BAND – back in October, and was completely blown away. Amy was playing with Kaia Wilson, Julie Wolf, and Melissa York (see a whole bunch more photos from their west coast tour from indigospike on flickr), and they sounded so amazing together. Amy’s newest album Didn’t It Feel Kinder
Except, just one thing about the photo: the tie tip should touch the middle of the belt buckle. Not sure why Amy’s tie is so short, maybe that’s some styly thing I don’t know about?, but it looks a bit awkward to me. (What’s the tie-length rule when one’s shirt is untucked? Or perhaps that rule presumes an always-tucked shirt.)
Kristen and I listened to it on the way back from a small trip to Boston last week, and she said something I thought was interesting – something like, what’s the point of a new Indigo Girls CD, the entire point is that you know all the words and sing along.
I forget that they’re seen as such a sing-along band. I’m not one to sing-along at concerts – I’m more of the guy glaring at the singers usually, though not at Indigo Girls concerts: it’s true, there are just too many songs that everyone knows, and that is a part of it. Going to Indigo Girls concerts every summer was a big part of my identity development – it’s like an Ani Difranco concert, which I’ve come to call “the family reunion” because of all the dykes, as in “are you going to the family reunion this summer?” “Oh yes, of course, I never miss ’em.” – seeing all those gay women in one place was like going to Pride or the Dyke March, made me feel more at home in my own skin.
I still remember the first time I watched the video for Closer to Fine, my mind blew a bit. I couldn’t stop watching Amy’s delicious swagger and it definitely took me a while to figure out that I wanted to be her, not do her.
Take a listen to many of the songs on Poseidon and the Bitter Bug over at Indigo Girls.com so you can start memorizing the lyrics. Read Tina’s review here and leave a comment (on her blog! not mine!) to win a copy of it, if you like.
Define: The Do-Be-Do-Be-Do Complex
I’m going to go ahead & swipe this phrase from a friend of mine, who I’ve heard use it a few times (though whom I haven’t heard if it’s okay to make reference to, so I’ll just thank him anonymously for now).
The Do-Be-Do-Be-Do Complex referrs to getting involved in relationships where (especially in retrospect) you were drawn to the person because you wanted to be like them, not necessarily do them.
For example, as a baby butch, I dated a butch for a while, and I think it was more about my own fascination with butchness than it was my own orientation toward wanting to partner with and/or date and/or sleep with butches.
The Do-Be-Do-Be-Do Complex is, I think, especially applicable to butches and femmes, though I’m sure it extends to other identities.
Is this a useful phrase? Have you gone through phases of dating the folks you wanted to be instead of who you were, perhaps, ultimately attracted to?