journal entries

birds or boxing

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with birds. Flight patterns. Migration. Wings. Traveling by air. The topography of a bird like the wrist, the bard of the wing, the crown, the mandible, the tarsus, the axillers.Everywhere I go bird references occur. I sat next to a girl wearing the same shoes as me and she says “we’ve inherited our sorting habits from a flock of birds.” I bought a journal made from a 1941 copy of A Field Guide to Western Birds. One night I was out, there was a pigeon family nested on the terrace. My best friend sent me a starling necklace. I very much want a small flock of birds tattooed on my shoulder. I have a ‘flight mix’ full of songs about flying, wings, birds, butterflies, the sky, clouds, rising, flying.

I’ve been flying high for miles. Months. Examining the ground below me for a pattern, a map, direction.But it’s no longer time for flight.

It’s time to fight.

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is a queer trans butch writer focusing on sexualities, genders, kink, and relationships. Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the editor of 5 editions of Best Lesbian Erotica. Their latest book is Your Year in Kink: A Workbook to Reflect, Plan, & Create Your Kink Life. They lead the online erotica writing group, Writing Spicy, annually.

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