Posts Tagged ‘there’s nothing to do but work and self-care and kindness and time’

• Oh hey there.

  I'm Sinclair Sexsmith, the kinky queer butch top behind this site. I'm an erotic educator, coach, and writer who studies literature, erotic embodiment, kink, BDSM, leather, and queer, trans, and feminist theory. I prefer the pronouns they and them.
  
  More about me and my work at mrsexsmith.com
  
  Photo by Meg Allen
  
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  I'm witty in 140 characters
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  Things that catch my eye
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  Books I'm reading
  Kinky networking on Fetlife
  (Old) Photos on Flickr
  

• Love Letters

  Receive monthly notes from me:
  

  
  
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• Workshops

  Where I'll Be
  November 7, Columbia University, New York City
  November 14-17, Wild at Heart & The FSPC, Seattle, WA
  
  All upcoming appearances →
  
  Want me to come visit?
  
  Now booking workshops, events, and performances in fall 2013.
  See my upcoming appearances here.

• Sometimes, you need more than a workshop.

  
  One on one sessions for sexual experiments and gender puzzles. More about coaching here.

• Dirty Stories

  • Dirty Filthy Nasty
  • The Boy at Summer Camp
  • The Three Minute Game
  • Hogtied.
  • Sugarbutch Star: Maze – "The Girl in the Red Dress"
  • My slutty little girl.
  • Fucking & Making Love
  • The Dirtiest Kristen Stories
  • I'd Like To Fuck Her Ass
  • Her dirty talk got me off. Twice.
• WANT MORE? Read all the dirty stories

• Essays

  • Reconciling Feminism & Sadism
  • Why Lesbian Erotica is Valuable Activism
  • A Love Letter to Femmes
  • Fucking & Making Love
  • To the femmes on whom I've crushed this past year
  • Open Relationship Mini Interview with Charlie Glickman: "Being poly doesn't make you more evolved"
  • On Femme Invisibility
  • Quick Anal Interview with Dylan Ryan
  • in praise of femmes: hair & shaving
  • The Great Reader Mini-Interview, Part Four: "Shut up and get hit," Communion, and fun erotica
• WANT MORE? Read through all the essays

• Reviews

  • Ask Mr. Sexsmith: Tomboi vs RodeoH brief-style harness?
  • Review: Packing Cocks 101
  • Masturbation is Great! (Review: Off With Your Head Hitachi attachment)
  • Keeping a Leather Harness Clean
  • Hogtied.
• WANT MORE? Read through all the reviews

• Advice

  • Reconciling Feminism & Sadism
  • Ask Mr. Sexsmith: Tomboi vs RodeoH brief-style harness?
  • Ask Me Anything: Strapping On For the First Time
  • Ask Mr. Sexsmith: First time with a girl
  • Ask Me Anything: Strap-On Positions When Someone is Taller
• WANT MORE? Read through all the advice

• Journal Entries

  • Thanksgiving in Texas
  • Coming Out Genderqueer: An Open Letter to My Family & Friends
  • Late July in photos: Albuquerque & Jemez travels
  • Northern Exposure Kink Conference in Anchorage, AK! And: Judging the International Ms. Leather Contest
  • Video: Sinclair reads Five Blow Jobs (And oh yeah, hi)
• WANT MORE? Read all the journal entries

• Poetry

  • How things start to melt open
  • Making Peace #14
  • Unsolicited Advice to a New Butch (aka The Butch Poem)
  • What It Means
  • Your Body Remembers
• WANT MORE? Read through all the poetry

• This Week

  • The quiz is here! What kind of s-type are you? under miscellany
  • Reconciling Feminism & Sadism under advice
  • The Gender Book's crowdfunding campaign is funded! But you should still go buy a copy for yourself right now under miscellany
  • What's in our sex den? Books, of course. under miscellany
  • Why Lesbian Erotica is Valuable Activism under essays

• favorite topics

  ask Mr. Sexsmith stone clit pumping faggot sex pack & play bed death my boy rife ejaculation dirty queer smut blow jobs in praise of femmes feminist kink eye candy sadism flirting butch identity anal butch cock strap-on packing daddy identity abortion
  
  Some of my intimate relationships: Allyson Butcher Callie DateDyke Gabrielle Hailey Jesse James Joy Kristen Madeline Mike Penny Red rife The Ex The Femme Top

• random

  coming out death is such a strange thing did she really say "schmoopies"? drag king falling in love is terrifying I'm kind of a snob about my hair actually if someone says there's no good lesbian porn they are just plain wrong in which sinclair rants about the sexblogosphere oh my god this girl is hot role playing sugarbutch & butcher survival watching porn in groups is annoying but on twitter it's really fun water sports weekly snapshot

• Archives

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• Conversation

  • Valery North on Hole Hunger
    Thank you for this. For some reason, something saying these things was just what I needed to read...
  • Miss Tom on Coming Out Genderqueer: An Open Letter to My Family & Friends
    Thank you both for taking the time to respond to my comments. I am definitely okay with a certai...
  • Jess on The quiz is here! What kind of s-type are you?
    I think your quiz must be accurate. I was getting all charged up just reading about being a bottom :...
  • Blue on Come play at the Submissive Playground!
    *excited flail*
  • Claire on What’s in our sex den? Books, of course.
    I'm picking up what you are putting down with that goatee Sexsmith! Rife: $50,000 OR BUST! (Though I...

• books I wrote

    

• Ways to say thank you

  This site is a labor of love. There are many ways to say thank you, and sending me a one time donation or signing up for a monthly subscription are two of them. I really appreciate your support.
  
  
  
  If you find yourself coming back for my advice, dirty stories, essays, and journal entries, think about it as time that we sit down and I fill you in on my life and thoughts. Want to do that over coffee, over a stiff drink, over dinner? What kind of "fair energy exchange" do you want to offer in return? Subscribers will get perks. I'm not sure what they are yet, but they'll be fun and unique and sexy.

  buy me a ...

  cappuccino : $4.00 USD - monthly whiskey (rocks) : $8.00 USD - monthly sandwich & soda : $12.00 USD - monthly fav thai dinner : $20.00 USD - monthly

  

  
  

• Elsewhere

  • BUTCH At the Lexington Club Thursday, November 21, 2013
  • Butch: Not Like the Other Girls Thursday, October 24, 2013
  • “Motley Hosts Open Mic and Guest Speaker in Celebration of National Coming Out Day.” Saturday, October 12, 2013
  • Sinclair named one of the Top 10 Sex Bloggers of 2013 by LittleHussy.com Thursday, September 26, 2013
  • Sinclair is #44 of the Top 100 Most Stylish DapperQs Tuesday, July 30, 2013

• Recommended

  • Why Myriad Double Standards? Thursday, December 5, 2013
  • This Is Me. This Is Her. This Is How We Fuck. Thursday, December 5, 2013
  • Best Lesbian Erotica Release Party & Reading December 12 in SF Thursday, December 5, 2013
  • As Soon As You Care, You Lose, or The Difference Between Hungry and Starving Thursday, December 5, 2013
  • Deep, So Deep Saturday, November 30, 2013

• Text Ads

  Text ads are paid advertisements and do not reflect the opinions of Mr. Sexsmith or Sugarbutch.net #sellout Gay Mobile Porn Sex-Press Sex Blogs Sex Toys Sex Pills to Increase Sexual Performance. BDSM Vs Professional Dominatrix – Pro Domme Sex Pills at Male Enhancement Institute Erection Pills For Sex TS / TV Girl & Transsexual Escorts - TS Escorts
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