Protected: Um So Hi.

Posted on November 17, 2011 in omphaloskepsis | Enter your password to view comments.

What’s Happening in November

Posted on November 1, 2011 in events | 1 Comment

I love fall! It is kind of threatening to be winter here already, what with that snow fall last weekend, but it’s supposed to warm up a bit and the leaves still haven’t changed all the way. I love this time of year.

I was supposed to go visit Bryn Mawr in early November, but we’ve postponed that. I’ll add it to this list as soon as I have a new date (I hope it’ll be in late November). My schedule is always as up to date as possible on mrsexsmith.com/appearances.

I’m busy this month! West coasters, see you in Seattle and in San Francisco in just a few weeks—I’m leaving on Thursday for a private training in Seattle and then I’ll be heading to SF for the Outside the Boxes workshop that I am really thrilled about. It is almost full! We do still have a couple slots left, so if you have been thinking about it, and feel called to participate, now may be the time to sign up. (I’m glad to tell you more about it if you want to know specifics.)

Events with Mr. Sexsmith

Events in New York City You Shouldn’t Miss

I am still trying to get a few more places this fall! My schedule is kept up on mrsexsmith.com/appearances if you want to see if I’m coming your way.

If you’re interested in bringing me to your town or college, check out what S. Bear Bergman wrote: Bear’s Guide to Getting the Artists You Want. It’s got some great tips for how to fundraise and make an offer to bring the people you admire to come do some custom work just for you & your friends. (Hint, hint.)

Last but not least, here’s my 2011 workshop offerings in a PDF so it is easy to download, you can also download my one sheet PDF or high res photos in my press kit). Get in touch if you’re interested in booking me, you can contact me directly—mrsexsmith(at)gmail—or my booking company, PhinLi, at bookings(at)phinli.com.

Get on the Monthly Sugarbutch Mailing List

Hey Seattle: See You Soon! Sex 2.0 Next Weekend

Posted on May 11, 2010 in events | No Comments

I’m heading back to Seattle next weekend, May 22-23, for the Sex 2.0 Conference!

I’ll be presenting a workshop on Yes, No, and Consent, based on the article I wrote a while back and some subsequent conversations and feedback. Here’s the description:

Yes, No, and Consent:
It tends to be a basic assumption in kinky and sex-positive communities that sexy explorations must be done consensually, that both parties must express a YES (verbally or non-verbally), especially when getting into the dirty stuff. And many of us know that in order to say YES, we have to be able to say NO, to have full agency and full options available to us. But what about when you want something, your partner says they are into it, but you feel guilty? How do we take the YES more seriously? How can you use social media & the internet as explorations of communication, increasing the desire and friction in your sex life?

There are many other amazing presenters at the conference, including Essin’ Em and Maymay, who I’m really looking forward to seeing and hanging out with. Check out the full session list!

I don’t know which day or time I’ll be presenting, but I’ll let you know when I do know. If you’re in Seattle, please do consider coming! It’s a relatively inexpensive conference, and I always hear amazing things about it. I wanted to go when it was in DC last year, but couldn’t make it.

I went to college in Seattle (at the University of Washington, majoring in Gender Studies and Creative Writing, graduated in 2004), and lived there for almost seven years. I can’t wait to go walk around Greenlake, eat at Rom Mai Thai on Broadway, get a beer at the Elysian, and have a happy hour $4 double whiskey at the Rosebud. I only wish Pete’s Pizza hadn’t closed, I’ve never had calzones that good anywhere else. I haven’t been back in a while, I’m really looking forward to it.

Bent Mentor Showcase in Seattle

Posted on October 26, 2009 in events | 1 Comment

If you live in Seattle, don’t miss the Mentor Showcase at Bent: A Writing Institute.

I studied at Bent for almost six years, when I lived in Seattle and was going to college at the University of Washington getting degrees in both Creative Writing and Social Change. I have been quoted saying that Bent taught me just as much, if not more, about writing than my entire undergraduate degree in creative writing, and Bent’s founder, Tara Hardy, has been one of my most influential mentors. So much of what I know about gender, sexuality, trauma, healing, artistic pursuits, and writing comes directly from my studies with Bent and Tara.

If you’re in Seattle, or passing through, I highly urge you to check out some writing classes or Bent performances.

“All of the LGBTIQ community should lift our ears to receive Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha,” says Bent founder, Tara Hardy. “Her vision stands to rearrange the ways we approach community, creating art, and loving. Every time I’ve heard her read I’ve come away new.”

Bent’s unique Mentor Showcase has become a fall tradition in Seattle. Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, a queer Sri Lankan writer, teacher and performer joins a fabulous line up of Bent writers for this year’s annual Showcase. Piepzna-Samarasinha’s work explores the interconnection of systems of colonialism, abuse and violence. Bent is America’s only writing institution for queers.

Tara Hardy has once again assembled the comic, the tragic, the downright magical and wildly diverse Bent writers who join Piepzna-Samarasinha on the Museum of History and Industry stage November 13th and 14th. The annual Showcase production is a wonderful opportunity to experience great writing before it hits national tours. Each of the Bent writers brings a unique voice, history and insight to the stage. Now in our 8th year, the showcase has grown from a class in Hardy’s living room to become a highly anticipated and life-changing community event.

Bent & Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
Museum of History and Industry, 2700 24th Ave. E, Seattle, WA
Friday November 13 & Saturday November 14
Doors 7:00pm / Curtain 7:30pm

Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha Mentor Writing Workshop
Lifelong AIDS Alliance, 1002 E Seneca, Seattle, WA
Saturday, November 14
11am-1pm

Tickets: Brown Paper Tickets

LEAH LAKSHMI PIEPZNA-SAMARASINHA:: Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha is a queer Sri Lankan writer, performer and teacher. She is the 2009-10 Artist in Residence at UC Berkeley’s June Jordan’s Poetry for the People program, a 2009 Sins Invalid performer and the co-founder and co-artistic director of Mangos With Chili. Her one woman show, Grown Woman Show, has toured nationally, including performances at the National Queer Arts Festival, Swarthmore College, Yale University, Reed College and McGill University. The author of Consensual Genocide, her writing has appeared in Yes Means Yes, Visible: A Femmethology, Homelands, Colonize This, We Don’t Need Another Wave, Bitchfest, Without a Net, Dangerous Families, Brazen Femme, Geeks, Misfits and Outlaws, Femme and A Girl’s Guide to Taking Over The World. She has performed her work nationally, in venues as diverse as the National Queer Arts Festival, La Pena, the Nuyorican Poets Cafe, Bowery Poetry Club and Asian American Writers Workshop to immigrant rights protests, queer youth center benefits and strike lines. She is finishing her second book of poetry and her first memoir, and is happy about the forthcoming publication of The Revolution Starts At Home: Transforming Partner Abuse Through Community Accountability, which she co-edited with Ching-In Chen and Jai Dulani, by South End Press in 2010.

BENT: Bent Arts, a non-profit organization, is the only queer writing institute in the nation. The mission of Bent is to promote and encourage written and spoken word among LGBTIQ people and in our communities. The concept and work of Bent began August 2000, in the living room of Tara Hardy, Seattle-based writer, performer, and Slam Champ. Since, Bent has grown to a full institute, having served over 200 students, offering a variety of weekly classes and local and regional performances.

MENTOR SHOWCASES: These annual spoken word showcases are a chance to see Bent students, whose works are generating much attention both locally and nationally, perform alongside a writer whose work they look up to and have chosen to honor. Moreover, they are a chance to bring underrepresented voices to our greater communities. The showcases are Bent’s largest annual fundraiser. There have been six other sold-out showcases and workshops since June 2003, with standing-room-only crowds and growing student rolls. The last showcase was housed at Piggot Hall at Seattle University, met with two packed nights and critical acclaim. In these prior showcases, Bent has honored queer writers and mentors: Kate Bornstein, D. Blair, Dorothy Allison, Buddy Wakefield, Juba Kalamka, Justin Chin, Michelle Tea, Ivan Coyote, and Sini Anderson.

This event supported by Poets & Writers, Inc. and GLAmazon

Butch/femme in various cities

Posted on March 6, 2009 in miscellany | 38 Comments

I got an email recently from a femme looking to relocate, but not sure where yet she’s going to go. Here’s her note:

I’m a young femme looking to relocate to a new city, and I want to go somewhere with a large diverse lesbian community that is very friendly to the butch-femme dynamic.

I’ve spent much of my life in LA, a city with nary a handsome butch to be found! And when I lived briefly in San Francisco, there were many cute butches but few other femmes, and I was always “read” as straight. It would be ideal to live somewhere where I could find both femme friends and a butch partner.

Some cities I am looking into: Seattle, Portland, Brooklyn, and Boston.

I can speak to Seattle and Brooklyn, but none of the others really. So I figured I’d ask you all: where do you live? What’s the butch/femme culture like in those cities?

Chime in regardless of where you live – I’d love to hear about the cultures outside of the US, too.

Some questions to consider:
- Are there lesbian-specific bars, or nights at the gay bars? More than one? Are some of them more known for being butch/femme than others?
- Are there butch/femme social groups?
- Is it gender-forward and inclusive of many expressions?

Important Calls for Support: Home Alive & Scarleteen

Posted on February 18, 2009 in activism | 4 Comments

Two great organizations are in need of support.

I know there are dozens – hundreds – more organizations that also need support, but these two in particular are very dear and important to my heart, they’re community organizations that have provided so much help and support and information to underserved, underrepresented groups.

SAVE HOME ALIVE is a grassroots effort to save a grassroots organization, Home Alive, out of Seattle. They offer self-defense classes to anyone, regardless of their ability to pay, in response to issues of violence and safety in communities. They are particularly aware of those marginalized groups who tend to be more often the victims of street violence, and actively work to call attention to homophobia, transphobia, heterosexism, racism, sexism, ableism, and classism. I’d love to see Home Alive classes in cities all over the country. Home Alive needs $25,000 to keep its doors open.

Scarleteen, which I’ve linked to here often and hopefully you already know about, is a sex education and resource center aimed at teens (though I go there – and refer friends there – all the time there to find information on STIs and sexual health). They have some exciting news – they’re now part of the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco! And rom February 14th through March 15th, one of their regular donors has agreed match the donations they receive up to $350 per donor, and/or up to $3,000 total. Just ten bucks helps, people! Do what you can, please.

If you don’t have money, you can help in other ways: steal these banners and reprint them on your own websites. Write a post about it. Send an email to all your friends (especially those with money). I’m taking out a blogads ad, and if you’ve got blogads on your site and want to donate to the cause by sending me your free ad code, I’d love to put the banner on your site.

More information on both of these amazing organizations follows.

Home Alive considers all forms of oppression as acts of violence against individuals.Through our self-defense classes, we call attention to homophobia, transphobia, heterosexism, racism, sexism, ableism, and classism. We challenge participants to defend themselves and our communities from these forms of institutional oppression.

By standing up against these types of violence-both individually and collectively we an create social change. Home Alive believes that safety is a basic human right. Every member of our community has the right to a life free from violence and hate. We know that, working together, we can create safe families, safe relationships and safe communities.

About Save Home Alive:

Hi there. My name is Jen and I’ve lived in Seattle since 2000. A few weeks ago I found my way to a class at Home Alive and honestly, it changed my life. Read my story here. When I heard this organization was closing their doors I decided to do whatever I could to help. This is my grassroots effort to help save an amazing grassroots org.

“You are worth defending. I am worth defending. In my heels and in my running shoes, in my skirt and cleavage and in my drag king drag. We are all always worth defending.” (Home Alive)

Home alive is worth defending! This is a call for help.

Home Alive, the self-defense organization started by friends outraged at the rape and murder of Mia Zapata, has been deeply rooted in the Seattle community for the last 16 years. They offer sliding scale self defense and boundary setting classes to anyone that wants to learn, regardless of whether or not they can pay. Because of this the organization is dependent on community donations. Read more about the organization here.

Right now, Home Alive is 25k in debt and being forced to close their doors. Realistically they need more than that to recover and rebuild but this website’s goal is to get them back to zero, at least.

Sooooooooo, I’m calling on 25 thousand people to give $1 dollar or for 5,000 folks to give $5 or for 2,083.333 folks to give $12 or for 862 people to give $29… or any creative combination of this really. 

 C’mon people. Don’t you want to help Save Home Alive?  

   Double Dollar Valentines for Scarleteen!

From February 14th through March 15th, one of our regular donors has agreed match the donations we receive up to $350 per donor, and/or up to $3,000 total.

This is a great opportunity to amplify your support! You can play a part in sustaining Scarleteen and all of the young adults who need and are helped with our unique brand of inclusive, progressive, holistic and accurate sexuality education. As we finish one decade of delivering the goods we so strongly feel have nurtured and continue to nurture the development of a healthy, happy sexuality for young people, I’m asking for your help as we enter another.

Scarleteen is now affiliated with the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco. The CSC was founded and is directed by Dr. Carol Queen and Dr. Robert Lawrence. Their mission is to provide judgment-free education, cultural events, a library/media archive, and other resources to audiences across the sexual and gender spectrum; and to research and disseminate factual information, framing and informing issues of public policy and public health. We’re thrilled to be the first young adult sex education project they have worked with and are very glad for this partnership. Robert and Carol, as well as other members of the CSC, have been incredibly supportive of Scarleteen and sex education as a whole over the years.

If you haven’t kept up, here are a few pieces we added to the site in 2008 and 2009 to give you an idea of what we’ve been up to:

- Genderpalooza! A Sex & Gender Primer
- How You Guys — that’s right, you GUYS — Can Prevent Rape
- Birth Control Bingo
- Shown Actual Size: A Penis Shape & Size Lowdown
- Give’em Some Lip: Labia That Clearly Ain’t Minor
- Blinders Off: Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault
- I, Being Born Woman and Suppressed
- Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
- Let’s Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry

We have also had a handful of great first-person pieces added from users or volunteers in our In Your Own Words section. Our voting guide last year helped many users of voting age to find clear, balanced information about the Presidential candidates to best inform (and motivate!) their vote. Our archive of direct, in-depth advice to users who write in with questions is extensive. Lastly, our message boards, which we rolled out in the year 2000, continue to be busy, actively moderated and a place of bustling, supportive conversation (as well as a way to help users manage crises quickly) at a level many teens do not have other opportunities to engage in when it comes to such loaded subjects.

- We rank in the upper 25,000 of all sites online internationally
- We consistently rank in the top 11,000 – 12,000 of all sites in the United States
- 65 million page loads have occurred at the site from users since 2006
- We now have over 40,000 active message board users

Support Scarleteen now! Visit www.scarleteen.com or take a look at more information (and the rest of this letter that I’ve reprinted excerpts from here) at Double Dollar Valentines for Scarleteen.

8against8: Ruby and Ami

Posted on October 27, 2008 in activism, eye candy | 1 Comment

Ruby & Ami, Seattle, August 2006.
Because along as gay marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have gay marriages.

Some text by the ever-charming Ruby & Ami, from their website about their wedding (because they’re geeks, duh), Outlaw Wedding:

Ruby: I mean, have you ever been so, so excited about something that you couldn’t hardly keep it to yourself? Well, that’s what this is all about.

This is Ami typing, and I just have to say that I have found one of the most beautiful, smart, funny, challenging, compassionate, irresistible, warm and kind people on this earth. Her name is Ruby, and I’m going to marry her. Every day I have a little moment where I let myself be floored for a second by how much she brings to my life, how much I look forward to getting to see what happens next, and how impossibly lucky I must be to get this much out of life. Alright, alright, enough of the schmoopies- you single folk out there: quit ch’er groanin’, and get yourself to our wedding and get laid. We know the greatest people, OMG! There’s something for everyone in this event, my dearies. Let’s have a magical evening together!

Ruby here. Isn’t she great? That’s really how she talks to me — so sweet. We spend a lot of time grinning at each other. We argue about who’s luckier (and I know I’m right — it’s me).

PS – I hear they are having a baby! Congrats, Ruby & Ami!!

when waitresses are kinky

Posted on September 28, 2008 in _dating | 1 Comment

If you didn’t see it in my Google Reader shared items or on my shared items sidebar (over on the left), There are a few photos of me & Jesse James over at Jesse’s blog from my recent visit to Seattle. I didn’t have much time with Jesse, but it was enough to go get tipsy at some swanky bar and then go shopping.

Jesse took the afternoon off work to come play with me. A little snippet:

Sinclair to Cute Waitress: I’d like a Knob Creek on the rocks please.

Cute Waitress: Certainly.

Jesse: Hmmm, what do I want, what do I want. I can’t decide. Something fun.

Cute Waitress: Like a Manhattan? A — eeee!

Leggy Blonde Waitress walks by behind Cute Waitress.

Cute Waitress: She just pinched my butt! [Laughs, a little flustered and blushing.] Oh gosh, I’m sorry.What did you want?

Jesse and Sinclair exchange significant glances and try not to laugh.

Jesse: Can I have a bloody mary with tequila instead of vodka?

Cute Waitress, still laughing: Sure, got it.

Exit Cute Waitress to behind the bar.

Jesse: Dude, I am so totally in lust for you!

Ah yes, good times are had with good friends in Seattle. Jesse tells the story about what we did after that, which was basically have a little party in the dressing room and buy Jesse an entirely new fall wardrobe.

It was hard to come home this time, I needed the down time of being away from my life and obligations and freelance and writings and work and social life, but I didn’t get the real rest I need because I was running around with family so much. So really one of the very best parts of the trip was seeing Jesse for an afternoon, and then having a lovely dinner with about half a dozen of my closest friends in that city. I got my favorite black bean burger at my favorite brewery-slash-pub, made a visit to the famous lesbian bar, and slept on Jesse’s (very flat) futon while the Seal dozed in her cute dog bed nearby. I didn’t see Violet much but she was quite lovely and warm, and I so appreciate them letting me crash their place for a few nights.

upon returning, a small complaint

Posted on September 24, 2008 in omphaloskepsis | 17 Comments

I was out of town last week, and now have returned from the other coast, the coast where the sun sets correctly into the water rather than over land, where I was in the Pacific Northwest primarily visiting my very large extended family for five days. I have all sorts of ideas about family and heritage and where I come from, about having kids and having a traditional structure, about how much my sisters and I are the freaks of the family.

Also strange to be referred to as niece, daughter, sister, granddaughter. Those words have never felt so ill-fitting. At some point I went to the bathroom and the door was labeled LADIES and I nearly stopped right there and turned around.

I am not a “lady,” not really. It’s not that I’m necessarily offended by it – I feel lucky to be part of groups of ladies at times, I love that I’m in women’s circles and women’s groups and women’s friendships, but even that word – woman – I’ve never quite felt right about it. I never refer to myself as such.

It’s not that I’m offended by it, it just doesn’t fit. Like too-big clothes or trying to put a hippie in black goth lipstick.

I have a friend who tells childhood stories that always start, “When I was a little girl …” and it struck me when I noticed it that I never refer to myself that way. I’ll say “kid,” as in “when I was a kid.” These days, I say “guy” – “I’m that kind of guy” – when referring to myself. Sometimes I use dyke or queer or butch I suppose, but I don’t ever use woman, lady, girl, or even sister, daughter, niece.

Still, it’s not that I’m transitioning – I’m not – and it’s not that I don’t identify with the lesbian/feminist communities – I do. Maybe I’m too much the poet, too much the semantics theorist, but some of these words just don’t fit.

I suppose this is just one of those frustrating gender binary things, and yet another of the reasons why butch is a trans identity of sorts. And yet another reason why I am still, continuously, inspired to keep doing this work, to understanding gender and creating new language to adequately describe myself and others, to contributing to the community and lifting each other up.

So there was a wedding in the Pacific Northwest, which is what prompted the large paternal family reunion. There are few events that are more gendered than a wedding. I thought it was going to be a small family wedding, as a few of the others had been, but the 20-something family members were actually in the minority and the community of friends and colleagues were abundant. At the church, I got sneered at by the small-town strangers. I was a bit flamboyantly dressed – pink button down, black argyle vest, no tie (I didn’t think it was going to be so formal!). But certainly I was not the only one dressed up, it was a freakin’ wedding!

Just served to remind me that I’m an outsider. I forget that, in New York City, where I don’t generally get noticed walking down the street unless I have a particularly good hair day. I fit in, I don’t stand out really.

The throwing the bouquet / throwing the garter felt like very strong gender-defining moments in the evening. No way in hell I was going to go out there and catch the bouquet – and actually I’m not sure I have ever been to a wedding where one was thrown, now that I think about it. But I did get out there when it was time to throw the garter. I couldn’t stay, though – I was too much on display in a room-full of too many people who had been giving me too many bad looks throughout the day.

I was little more than The Dyke From New York City all weekend.

I’m lucky, I suppose, is what I should take away from that experience – if I lived there, I would not dress as I do, would not have the fun I do with my hair and pink button-downs and vests and ties and belt buckles and cufflinks and jackets. I’m glad I have that opportunity, that I live in a place that not only accepts it, but encourages and, at times, demands it.

I didn’t expect it to be the reason, but really, I came to New York City so I could learn how to dress. Nothing has taught me fashion or style like this place.

Sometimes it is so uncomfortable to not conform to gender roles.

PS: I’m tremendously behind on email and correspondance, forgive me as I catch up.

there’s still time: CBE in Seattle

Posted on June 4, 2008 in PSA | No Comments

June 20-22 – Seattle
There is still time to experience
Celebrating the Body Erotic for Women
Led by Lizz Randall

Dear Friend,

This Solstice Weekend I invite you or a woman friend to join me in a circle of women in a safe, serious and playful space to explore and celebrate empowered sexuality and spiritually integrated eros. Through breath, movement, communication, touch and massage:
* Feel more alive, curious and safe in your body
* Deeply tune in to your body, mind, heart and spirit
* Expand awareness, sensation and pleasure
* Receive and give without losing yourself
* Release fear, shame and negative patterns
* Communicate your desires and boundaries more clearly
* Accept yourself just as you are
* Enjoy sex more and have more fun
* Discover the healing potential of sexual/spiritual energy

The workshop runs Friday night 7-10PM, Saturday and Sunday 9AM-7PM both days. It is non-residential and held in a convenient Capitol Hill location. I welcome women of all ages and sexual orientations who are open to learn about their own power to illuminate and enjoy sensuality and sexuality. Please share this email with any friends who might be interested.

Tuition: $395 (Register with a friend and you both receive a 10% reduction)

Robyn Lynn
206-579-2603
robyn@thepresentsense.com
TheBodyElectricSchool.com

• Greetings!

  Photo by Bill Wadman
  I'm Sinclair Sexsmith, the kinky queer butch top behind this site. I'm a writer, storyteller, and performer who studies critical feminist & gender theory, sexual freedom, social change activism, archetypes, and the tantric and buddhist spiritual systems. I am currently based in New York City. More about me →
  
  Sugarbutch Chronicles is an online writing project (aka “blog”) which explores sovereignty, healing, and communication through the personal examinations of sex, gender, and relationships, while celebrating queer sexuality, gender, culture, and identity in ways that are expansive rather than restrictive, liberating rather than limiting.

• More of Me

  
  

• Search

  Search for:

• Subscribe By Email

  
  Receive the new posts on Sugarbuth via email daily

• Book Me

  
  Want me for a workshop or event? Contact PhinLi, my booking agent, and see my upcoming appearances here.

• On Twitter

  follow me on Twitter

• Facebook

• Popular

  • My slutty little girl. - 32,268 views
  • “I’m kind of … insatiable.” My First Date with Kristen - 19,983 views
  • I’d Like To Fuck Her Ass - 19,177 views
  • Hogtied. - 18,873 views
  • Her dirty talk got me off. Twice. - 17,614 views
  • Wait for me on your knees. - 17,601 views
  • A Quick Fuck in a Shadowed Corner - 16,317 views
  • Sugarbutch Star: Maze - 16,183 views
  • Desperation & Dominance - 14,985 views
  • Rocking Chair Blow Job - 13,830 views

• Categories

  • colophon (63)
  • community (414)
    • activism (50)
    • events (132)
    • guest posts (20)
    • interviews (14)
    • miscellany (139)
    • PSA (60)
  • critical theory (242)
    • in praise of femmes (19)
    • mentor series (7)
    • on butches (86)
    • semantics (21)
    • sex (26)
    • theory (91)
  • eye candy (98)
  • personal (190)
    • omphaloskepsis (120)
    • photographs (11)
    • poetry (59)
  • relationships (242)
    • Allyson (4)
    • Callie (9)
    • DateDyke (24)
    • Gabrielle (1)
    • Hailey (3)
    • Joy (12)
    • Kristen (107)
    • Madeline (4)
    • Penny (15)
    • Red (2)
    • Rife (2)
    • The Ex (29)
    • The Femme Top (6)
    • _dating (28)
  • smut (107)
    • stories to turn you on (83)
    • sugarbutch star (42)
  • swag (225)
    • giveaways! (40)

• Archives

  Select Month February 2012  (2) January 2012  (20) December 2011  (7) November 2011  (14) October 2011  (18) September 2011  (18) August 2011  (11) July 2011  (13) June 2011  (19) May 2011  (19) April 2011  (19) March 2011  (30) February 2011  (29) January 2011  (24) December 2010  (27) November 2010  (18) October 2010  (27) September 2010  (24) August 2010  (23) July 2010  (25) June 2010  (18) May 2010  (24) April 2010  (41) March 2010  (20) February 2010  (14) January 2010  (12) December 2009  (24) November 2009  (10) October 2009  (21) September 2009  (22) August 2009  (13) July 2009  (12) June 2009  (23) May 2009  (21) April 2009  (39) March 2009  (23) February 2009  (18) January 2009  (21) December 2008  (32) November 2008  (16) October 2008  (48) September 2008  (31) August 2008  (33) July 2008  (32) June 2008  (23) May 2008  (20) April 2008  (35) March 2008  (35) February 2008  (24) January 2008  (19) December 2007  (26) November 2007  (31) October 2007  (14) September 2007  (12) August 2007  (48) July 2007  (30) June 2007  (13) May 2007  (10) April 2007  (6) March 2007  (11) February 2007  (10) January 2007  (7) December 2006  (5) November 2006  (3) October 2006  (16) September 2006  (9) August 2006  (10) July 2006  (11) June 2006  (1) May 2006  (4) April 2006  (1)

• Tags

  activism anal ask me anything babeland best of birthday blow job books butch butch/femme butch cock butch identity butch lab character study community dating events eye candy feminism femme fucking gay marriage gender identity masculinity mini-interview music new york city packing password photographs poetry porn queer relationships sex shoes sideshow strap-on strappy sandals sugasm swag theory top/bottom video

• My Work Elsewhere

  • Interview with Jack Halberstam on LambdaLiterary.org Wednesday, February 1, 2012
  • Mr. Sexsmith Says: Get Off While Strapped On on SexIs Magazine Wednesday, February 1, 2012
  • Mr. Sexsmith Says: Don’t Worry, Be Kinky on SexIs Magazine Thursday, January 19, 2012
  • Mr. Sexsmith Says: Bring Your Average-Size Cock, Just In Case on SexIs Magazine Wednesday, January 4, 2012
  • Mr. Sexsmith Says: She Likes My Butch Breasts and I Don’t on SexIs Magazine Wednesday, December 21, 2011

• Books my work is in

  • Afternoon Delight: Erotica for Couples
  • Best Lesbian Erotica 2006
  • Best Lesbian Erotica 2007
  • Best Lesbian Erotica 2009
  • Best Lesbian Erotica 2011
  • Best Lesbian Erotica 2012
  • Frenzy: 60 Stories of Sudden Sex
  • Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex
  • Love at First Sting: Sexy Tales of Erotic Restraint
  • Love Me Tender: Romantic Tales of Pleasure and Pain
  • Persistence: All Ways Butch And Femme
  • Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica
  • Secret Slaves: Erotic Stories of Bondage
  • Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch/Femme Erotica
  • Stripped Down: Lesbian Sex Stories
  • Take Me There: Trans & Genderqueer Erotica
  • The Harder She Comes: Butch Femme Erotica
  • Visible: A Femmethology Volume II

• Other Places I Write

  • AfterEllen
  • CarnalNation
  • Good Vibes Magazine
  • Lambda Literary Foundation
  • SexIs Magazine

• Friends & Sponsors

  Crash Pad Series
  
  
  Aslan Leather
  
  
  Eden Fantasys
  
  
  No Fauxxx
  
  
  Vixen Creations
  
  
  

• My Books

  
  
  
  
  

• Affiliates

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  More about the affiliate programs in which Sugarbutch takes part
  
  

• Support

  
  
  
  

• Et Cetera

  
  
  since 1/08.
  

• donate

  

  
  

• Text Ads

  sex toys by purepassionate.com Buy Sex Toys Sex Toys Sex Toys Sex Toys Sex toy Dildo Sex Toys Sex Toys Sex Toys Sex toys Cheap Sex Toys Sex Toys Adult Toys–Sex Shop Sex Toys Big Tits Webcams Sex Toys Canada live sex cam
  Sex-Press Sex Blogs Sex Toys