Smith College, Oh My!, The CSPH, UTK Sex Week, IMsL, and Where Else I’ll Be In the Next Few Months

Oh hello there Internet, I know you’re still here, and I love you. I’ve been quiet, but I’ve been working behind the scenes, diligently, trying to get things back in order so I can write more smut. I miss writing smut. Do you miss reading my smut writing?

And hello out there in person too! I’ve been teaching so many things in person these days. I feel stronger about my teaching skills, but I am definitely still learning. After eight workshops in seven days in February, I feel like I’m starting to feel like I’m getting closer to my 10,000 hours of teaching. (Ten thousand hours is actually about ten years, so goes the theory, and I’ve only been teaching sexuality and gender for about five years, but I did train to be a writing teacher ten years ago, so maybe my ten thousand hours are probably close to complete.)

Here’s where I’ll be in the coming weeks, and what’s going on for me this summer.

And then, the big news is that on Monday, April 1st, I’ve got a one-way ticket to San Francisco. I’ll be there for April and May, and then I’ll be heading to Alaska to visit family for June and July. I’ll be back in the Bay Area in August, and then … honestly, I’m not sure what will happen after that. I hope between now and then I’ll find a plan. If you feel inspired to donate to me as I restart and recalibrate and transition into a new incarnation of myself, and figure out what the hell I’m going to do with Sugarbutch and my heart, that would be incredibly helpful.

Here’s the rest of my summer schedule:

… After that, I’m not sure. I’m taking a leap of faith and trusting that I’ll figure it out along the way. I’m kind of looking for a job, at least maybe a part-time something, to get my feet back under me and have more consistency.

I was walking home the other day, and my neighbor, this small bald Puerto Rican guy with a handlebar mustache who I’ve made friends with over the five years I’ve lived here, said to me, “Haven’t seen you lately! Where you been?”

“I’ve been traveling, working,” I said. “I’m moving in April, actually.”

He said, “You’re moving!? Where you going?”

“To California,” I said, not wanting to go into the longer story of I’m-not-sure-Alaska-who-knows-about-the-fall.

“California!” he exclaimed, and proceeded to rant a little about how high the rent is in New York. I agreed.

“Well, I hope you have a happier, easier life out there in the California sunshine,” he offered. I teared up. I really hope I have a happier, easier life out there, too. And thanks, universe, for sending me a little reminder of the pleasure of my new adventure.

What’s Happening in March

March was supposed to be a low-key at-home month, where I could focus on a couple of new projects that I’ve been hoping to finish and birth into the world, but the quick travel home and now this readjustment are a bit in the way of that. I’m still trying to have a really low-key month in my routines, grounded and home. But I do have some exciting things coming up toward the end of the month, and then the Say Please Dirty Queer Sex Tour kicks off on April 1st in San Francisco and continues in New York, Boston, Seattle, and Atlanta (so far).

Events with Mr. Sexsmith

Thursday, March 22, 7pmQueers Heart Abortion: Fundraiser for Chicago Abortion Fund. Have you ever wished you could do more to help people access safe abortions? How about actually *paying* for their abortions? Well, now is your chance! Readers include: Heather Acs, Drae Campbell, Kelli Dunham, Melissa Gira Grant, Jessica Halem, Aimee Herman, Buster Katz, LeRoi Prince, Sinclair Sexsmith, Jami Smith, & Ariel Speedwagon. RSVP at the Facebook event. Did you know I had an abortion in 1999? I even have a piece about it, from about 10 years ago, but I’ll be reading a new piece about it being ten years ago.

Doors at 6:30 pm, Show begins at 7 pm, Show ends at 9 pm. $5-$10 sliding scale (no one turned away)

UC Lounge, 87 Ludlow St, NYC 10002

Saturday, March 24, 11am-5:30pmRainbow Book Fair! The longest running LGBT book fair in the US, which includes exhibitions from publishers, poetry readings, performances, workshops, panels, and more. I’ll be there as part of Cleis Press’s booth—come get a copy of Say Please hot off the presses. rainbowbookfair.orgThe LGBT Center, 208 West 13th Street, New York, NY

Sunday, March 25Rutgers Sex, Love, & Dating: Your Guide to Everything Intimate Conference. I’ll be doing three workshops, Fucking With Gender, Combating Bed Death in Long Term Relationships, and Making Queer & Kinky Relationships Work.Rutgers University Busch Campus, Piscataway, NJ

Wednesday, March 28, 7pmRadical & Responsible GenderMills College, Oakland, CA

Sunday, April 1, 5pmDirty Queer Sex Reading: Say Please release party! Featuring August InFlux, Amy Butcher, Andrea Zanin, Ashley Young, T.R. Moss, and rife, from Salacious Magazine: Leather issue; Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica; and Best Lesbian Erotica. Join us for an evening of debaucherous, dirty smut written by and for queers. Take a sexy break from a whirlwind of delicious leather, kink, and sex to additionally stimulate your … brains.

Hosted by KD Diamond, editor of Salacious Magazine and International Ms Bootblack 2011, & Sinclair Sexsmith, writer of the Sugarbutch Chronicles and editor of Say Please & Best Lesbian Erotica 2012

Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street, San Francisco, CA

Events in New York City (& Beyond) You Shouldn’t Miss

Friday, March 16, 8pmLesbian Sex Mafia: Giving Good Chair You’ve attended a “Bootblacking 101” class, or two. You’ve sat down with your Daddy and learned the basics of a spit shine. You’ve interrogated your bootblack friends about what Huberd’s really is. Or maybe you haven’t done any of these things. Regardless of what you know about the process of bootblacking itself–the technicalities, if you will–this workshop won’t cover any of those things. This workshop will cover the nature of “giving good chair” in three parts: 1. The Basics, 2. Upping the Ante, 3. Fucking Without Sex. Start off by learning how to be attentive and a great conversationalist; move on to engage in sensual physical contact; and leave them wanting more with boot worship.

LGBT Center, 208 West 13th St. (7th/8th Ave), Manhattan, NY

Saturday, March 24th, 10pmSubmit Party,, a BDSM play party for women and trans folks only. $15 before midnight, $20 afterBrooklyn, NY. For exact location call 718.789.4053 or email [email protected]

Thursday, March 29, 7-10pmGirl Talk: A Trans & Cis Dialogue. curated by Gina de Vries, Elena Rose, and Julia Serano. Queer cisgender women and queer transgender women are allies, friends, support systems, lovers, and partners to each other. Trans and cis women are allies to each other every day — from activism that includes everything from Take Back the Night to Camp Trans; to supporting each other in having “othered” bodies in a world that is obsessed with idealized body types; to loving, having sex, and building family with each other in a world that wants us to disappear.

Girl Talk is an annual spoken word show fostering and promoting dialogue about these relationships. Trans and cis women will read about their relationships of all kinds – sexual and romantic, chosen and blood family, friendships, support networks, activist alliances. Join us for a night of stories about sex, bodies, feminism, activism, challenging exclusion in masculine-centric dyke spaces, dating and breaking up, finding each other, and finding love and family.

San Francisco LGBT Community Center – Rainbow Room
1800 Market Street between Octavia & Laguna, San Francisco, CA
Tickets: $12-$20 (no one turned away) WEB / TIX (We strongly recommend that you get tix in advance – we sold out very fast last year.):

Thursday, March 29 to Sunday, April 1International Ms. Leather! That’s right, I’ll be in attendance this year, and I’m really thrilled. I don’t know all the details, but I’ll be around in general and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone. Say hi, if you see me.San Francisco, CA

Thursday, April 5, 8pmRed Umbrella Diaries, www.redumbrelladiaries.comHappy Ending, 302 Broome Street between Forsyth and Eldridge, Manhattan, NY

I’m still booking a few more gigs for the spring, though my travel schedule is really full! I’d still like to get to Chicago, Portland, and Durham, so if any of you are in those cities and would like to help me get a gig, I would be oh so grateful.

Any events I missed? Add ’em in the comments.

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What’s Happening in August

Holy crap, there’s a lot going on this month.

Events with Mr. Sexsmith

Tuesday, August 16th, 8-10pmCock Confidence workshopCamouflage sex toy shop in Santa Cruz, CA

Wednesday, August 17th, 8-10pmCock Confidence workshopGood Vibrations, San Francisco, CA

Date TBACock Confidence workshop at the Butch Voices conferenceOakland, CA

Date TBAOwning Your Birthday Suit: Embodiment for Masculine of Center Folks, co-presented with Amy Butcher, at the Butch Voices conferenceOakland, CA

Sunday, August 21Spoken word performance at the Butch Voices conference. More information TBAOakland, CA

Events in New York City You Shouldn’t Miss

Thursday, August 4 , 8pmRed Umbrella Diaries, www.redumbrellaproject.comHappy Ending, 302 Broome Street between Forsyth and Eldridge, Manhattan, NY

Friday, August 5, 9:30pmBUTCH BURLESQUE: AN EVENING OF SWAGGER. Co-curated and hosted by Victoria Libertore and Lea Robinson. Lineup: Moe Angelos (Five Lesbian Brothers), Crystal Balls, Drae Campbell (Miss LEZ 2011), Molly Equalty Dykeman, Luscious von Dykester with music by Tina Richerson, Jessica Lurie Alto AND Butch Burlesque students making their debut: Kestryl Cael, Prince Kim & Slapshot N. Tickle.

Come see these butches and friends strut their stuff with the bravado and swagger only Dixon Place is hot enough to handle. Hot, queer women flirtin’, titilatin’ and takin’ it off with the originality and swagga only a butch can pull off. As Jace Everett says, “We wanna do bad things with you.”

HOT! Festival at Dixon Place, 161A Chrystie Street, between Rivington and Delancey. Tickets: $15 in advance/ $18 at the door. Student/Senior $12 in advance/$15 at the door.

Sunday, August 14th, 10pmThe Femme Show comes to NYC! Guest Artists: The Crimson Kitty and others TBA.

The Femme Show is queer art for queer people, with a variety of diverse perspectives on queer femininity that can be thoughtful, sad, funny, sexy, and fun. On their August East Coast tour, a stellar cast will bring The Femme Show’s unique perspective on femininity, gender, queerness and sexuality to cities throughout the Northeast. Now in it’s fifth year, The Femme Show uses dance, burlesque, drag, spoken word, puppets, and more to give audiences new ways and new reasons to think about gender, femininity, and desire.

Wow Cafe Theater, 59-61 East 4th Street, the Fourth Floor, $12 at the door

Saturday, August 27th, 10pmSubmit Party,, a BDSM play party for women and trans folks onlyBrooklyn, NY. For exact location call 718.789.4053 or
email [email protected]

I am now booking fall events for colleges and traveling nationally. I’m heading to Dark Odyssey Summer Camp in September, and looking to visit Chicago, Milwaukee, Seattle, and others in the near future. My schedule is kept up on if you want to see if I’m coming your way.

If you’re interested in bringing me to your town or college, check out what S. Bear Bergman wrote: Bear’s Guide to Getting the Artists You Want. It’s got some great tips for how to fundraise and make an offer to bring the people you admire to come do some custom work just for you & your friends. (Hint, hint.)

Last but not least, here’s my 2011 workshop offerings in a PDF so it is easy to download, you can also download my one sheet PDF or high res photos in my press kit). Get in touch if you’re interested in booking me, you can contact me directly—mrsexsmith(at)gmail—or my booking company, PhinLi, at bookings(at)