B is for Beautiful Photos by Syd London

Posted on February 2, 2012 in photographs | No Comments

I’ve had this post sitting in my drafts folder for a week or so now, and I can’t figure out what to write to go along with Syd’s slideshow.

Syd’s collection of photos of Cheryl on Flickr

These are the photos from Cheryl’s memorial, B is for Beautiful, taken by Syd London, who is a dear friend of mine and who photographed me and Cheryl for Sideshow promotion, the first Sideshow, and the last Sideshow, as well as a few other significant shoots of Cheryl’s—like her lesbian headshaving ritual. So many, in fact, that Syd created an entire collection of Cheryl B. photo shoots on Flickr.

Emceeing the memorial was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I am so glad to have had some tantra and “holding space” training, because I totally cast a circle and grounded energy and did all of that. I wanted a container that could hold our grief, if even just for the afternoon. It was funny and fun and tragic and intense, just like Cheryl, and I think it was a really beautiful celebration of her life. Here’s what I read at the memorial.

Kelli submitted one of Syd’s shots to the New York Times “The Lives They Loved” series that is online and selectively printed in the NYT Magazine on Christmas annually, and submitted this shot of Cheryl, Kelli, Diana Cage, and me.

Kelli wrote:

When my partner Cheryl B was diagnosed with hodgkin’s disease last fall and was preparing for chemo that would cause her to lose her beautiful black hair, a friend suggested a “good ol’ fashioned lesbian headshaving ceremony.” We had friends over, made food, and shaved Cheryl’s head. There are many photos of Cheryl performing, engaged in political actions, organizing events. All these are important but I also want to remember her like this: loved, loving, happy, embracing the radical love of her chosen family and the queer (in a myriad of ways) community she had gathered around her.

If that’s not some radical infiltrating, I don’t know what is. And also, who else had photos of fishnets and cleavage? Amazing. Kelli tells the story about how she made the fact checker say “good ol’ fashioned lesbian headshaving ceremony” no less than four times:

Young fact checker dude: So, it says “when Cheryl became ill with hodgkins, her friends suggested a good old fashioned lesbian headshaving ceremony?”

Me: Oh I am sorry, my dog was barking, could you repeat that last part? (no dog had barked)

YFCD: Good old fashioned lesbian head shaving?

Me: Oh shit, you know how iPhones are, you cut out, could you repeat that again?

YFCD: Good old fashioned (sigh) lesbian head shaving.

Me: Oh I’m sorry, I still didn’t catch it.

YFCD: Good. Old. Fashioned. Lesbian. Head. Shaving.

Me: Oh yeah, of course. Yes.

I can see Cheryl rolling her eyes, too, so easily, at that she had to die in order to get into the New York Times—but I think she would’ve been very pleased about this little write-up. And I think she would like Syd’s collection of the beautiful photos of her, with her big love Kelli and with friends and fans and community, and I think she would have loved the memorial.

Miss you, Cheryl. Every day.

No Comments | Category: photographs | Tags: cheryl, grief sucks, kelli dunham I love you, photographs, syd london, the new york times, things that are beautiful

Photos from the Last Sideshow

Posted on November 16, 2011 in events | 2 Comments

After Cheryl died, the reading series she and I co-created took a hiatus. July 2011 was the last performance, and Syd London took amazing photographs.

Readers were Ellis Avery, Samantha Barrow, E Charles Crandall, Kestryl Cael Lowrey, Morgan W., Renair Amin, & Ashley Young.

I think it really captures the vibe of the series … diverse and wide-ranging, joyous and emotional, community building and hook-up space (did you see all those super hot people?!).

I miss doing that every month. I’m hoping to revive it in 2012, but I don’t have all the details worked out yet. Will of course let you all know and shout it from the rooftops when I do.

2 Comments | Category: events | Tags: cheryl b., community spaces, I miss sideshow, photographs, sideshow, syd london

Thanks, Tomcats. I needed that haircut

Posted on September 13, 2011 in photographs | 4 Comments

Gotta look snappy for Dark Odyssey! I thought I was going to head down to Baltimore tonight for that workshop at Sugar and head right to camp, but instead I’m going to stay in New York for two more nights and head in early on Thursday morning. I definitely want to be there for the first workshop (uh and I think I am teaching a workshop that hour, so I better be), and preferably for orientation at noon, so I’m going to aim for early. Earlier than I like to get up. As much as I would have liked to be at Sugar tonight, I’m glad to have two more nights here at home to prepare and get some more details for my workshops worked out.

Tomcats is still my favorite barber shop in New York. Joey is my favorite, but Olivia did a really amazing job with Kristen’s hair on Sunday—I’ll see if I can snap a good shot of her new haircut and show it off for y’all, it looks fierce and fun and serious. Plus, her hanky flower came last weekend, so I want to show y’all a photo of that anyway.

I see from my Facebook feed that a few friends of mine have started going to Tomcats regularly … I hope they’re treating you as well as they have me.

4 Comments | Category: photographs | Tags: are you sick of photos of me yet?, eye candy, haircut, how to look dapper, I like going somewhere regularly because they start to get to know me, it's hard to find a queer and butch-friendly place, photographs, tomcats

Some Butch Voices Photos from Cohn Frankel Photography

Posted on September 12, 2011 in photographs | 1 Comment

Thanks to Lauren who was taking some shots at Butch Voices NYC and who snapped these of my Cock Confidence workshop at Feelmore 510, which is a beautiful toy shop and art gallery space in Oakland.

I think this one is my favorite.

Thanks, Lauren. www.cohnfrankelphotography.com

1 Comment | Category: photographs | Tags: butch voices national conference, cock confidence, feelmore 510 is a really lovely toy shop, I hear nenna has a new porn coming out and I'm way excited about it, kristen had the mr. benson shirt specially made for me, mr. benson, nenna (who owns feelmore 510) also directed the porn tight places which is awesome, oakland, photo shoots, photographs, that's me!, workshops

Review: I’ll Show You Mine (Book)

Posted on September 2, 2011 in swag | 3 Comments

I’ll Show You Mine edited by Wrenna Robertson is a beautiful hardcover coffee table book that came out in February 2011 from Show Off Books. It features 120 photographs of 60 women’s genitals, and accompanying each woman’s photos is text written by the woman, detailing her challenges and/or successes as pertains to her relationship with her genitals. According to the website, there are two trans women included in the book (Ashley and Emily), and the book’s introduction says that the range of age is from 19 to 60. I notice a lot of piercings—more than I thought would be included—and that the majority of those photographed seem to be partially shaved or at least heavily trimmed, but there are some very full hairy bushes in there too.

It’s quite a beautiful book. I’m looking forward to bringing it to workshops and having it there for people to leaf through. Thank you, Show Off Books.

3 Comments | Category: swag | Tags: books, I'm trying a new way to do reviews (simpler), in response to the increased commonality of labiaplasty, photographs, remember the book femalia? that was gorgeous, swag, vaginas, women's genitals

Congratulations, New York

Posted on July 25, 2011 in PSA | 1 Comment

It’s a pleasure to live here while New York made gay marriage legal.

I don’t think gay marriage is the be-all end-all of the equality fight (uh, does anybody? Maybe I don’t have to clarify that here), but I do think it’s an important symbol.

I’ve actually been thinking a lot about marriage and weddings lately … blame Offbeat Bride for being awesome and Style Me Pretty for their one-in-100 amazing inspirations. And my couple’s therapist, who is starting to help me have a vision of how a relationship could really last. But, more about that another time.

Congratulations to all who are getting (legally) wed, and thanks, New York.

Photo by Mykelle on Flickr

I saw this photo first on Twitter and think it is just stunning. I’m not really one for rainbow imagery, but I do love dramatic water.

1 Comment | Category: PSA | Tags: all this gay marriage makes me want to be heavily sodomized (to paraphrase jessica halem), congratulations, gay marriage, I accidentally shared a wedding blog post in google reader and my sister emailed me: "um anything I should know??", I read it for the articles I swear, new york, niagara falls, photographs, rainbow

“You’re Into That?” and Another Photo of Me

Posted on June 2, 2011 in photographs | 5 Comments

Somehow in May I had two beautiful photographs of me, both taken by professional photographers, published. And in case you aren’t following me in the regular social media places, or by my RSS feed on mrsexsmith.com, I figured I’d share ‘em here.

Photo by Bil Wadman, ontakingphotos.com

The first is by Bill Wadman who first took my photo for 365Portraits.com in 2007. (I wasn’t ‘out’ as Sinclair then so I kept it under my other name.) A few weeks ago, he tweeted that he was bored and wanted to take portraits, and I replied, how about me? And it was on. He came over and we chatted about what I was planning to do that weekend, which was to attend a BDSM erotic energy retreat. He paused a second: “You’re into that?” Me: “Yep. In fact, I have some good equipment if you’d like to see it …” and out came my flogger. After he saw my new (since his last shot of me, anyway) tattoo, the shot soon made itself.

Speaking of the tattoo: many people have asked me what it is. It’s a ruler, it measures 6″, and if you measure from the flat palm of my hand, it measures 8″. There are numerous meanings to it (as with all the best tattoos, don’t you think?): I’m a graphic designer, for one. I’ll always have 6″ with me (ha ha) and I can measure high heels a lot easier this way. I can now measure how far into you I can reach. I’ve been thinking about this tattoo for a while, since I saw a photo of someone who had one on Flickr years ago, but the thing that made me go and do it was taking the Buddhist Refuge Vow in spring 2010. During the meditations, it came to me that this path, the Buddhist path, is actually incredibly linear, and has been walked hundreds of thousands of times for thousands of years. Considering that so, so much of my life is about forging my own path, making my own direction, this felt so incredibly comforting and I knew it was time to get the tattoo.

Photo by Yi Ching Lin, www.yichinglin.com

This next shot was for the DapperQ He Said/We Said May edition, the shoot for which happened in April, with photos by Yi Ching Lin. I was there with four other models, all of whom were reinterpreting a current high-fashion men’s runway look in our own way. The photos turned out beautifully. Susan Herr, DapperQ hirself, has called this photo “the best butch photo of all time,” and I am very pleased with how it turned out.

There are others over at DapperQ.com from this shoot, and there’s a video of all 5 of us models talking about our fashion inspiration as well.

5 Comments | Category: photographs | Tags: bill wadman, butch, dapperQ, eye candy, fashion, photographs, photos of me, what happened in may stays in may, yi ching lin

Happy 28th Birthday, Kristen!

Posted on May 20, 2011 in Kristen | 2 Comments

It’s Kristen’s 28th birthday tomorrow!

I am as ever grateful for her in my life. I’ve never been so in love, I’ve never been in a better relationship, and though we are in some rocky growth struggles, I am confident we’ll get through it and be better people because of it.

This is the third birthday I’ve been able to spend with her so far, and I love the ways that she is growing and blossoming and stepping into her power and doing amazing things in the world, and I know it’s just going to be more exciting to be with her as all her adventures continue.

Love you, darling. Happy birthday.

2 Comments | Category: Kristen | Tags: birthday, eye candy, femme, kristen, look up what I did for her last year if you missed those birthday wishes, most of these photos were taken by me except the two on the very left side, not sure how I can top that but considering tomorrow is the rapture I think it'll be okay, party like it's 1999, photo of kristen in full pin-up mode by the pin-up finishing school, photo of kristen in the apron taken by radical muffin, photo top middle is one of the few shots I have of kristen in her collar, photographs, the playboy bunny outfit is kristen as gloria steinem this past halloween

UW Madison tonight!

Posted on April 20, 2011 in events, photographs | 1 Comment

Hey folks! I’m here in beautiful (rainy, snowy) Milwaukee, had a great time at The Tool Shed last night. And did I mention the cheese plate I had for dinner? These folks know how to do cheese.

Oh hi, Lake Michigan. I almost didn't see you there

I’ll be at UW Madison tonight in Madison, Wisconsin, and since I didn’t ever post the info, here is it:

Fucking With Gender writing workshop (bring a pen & paper!)
with Sex Out Loud
8pm
University of Wisconsin Madison
Humanities building, located on Park Street

I don’t know which room exactly but I assume there will be signs. I’m looking forward to it! This is one of my favorite workshops to do.

Big day ahead of me, better get going—see you tonight!

1 Comment | Category: events, photographs | Tags: big bodies of water, I also went to the UW except it was washington not wisconsin, midwest, mmmm cheese, photographs, things I do for money, traveling, workshops

Some Photos From the Birthday Weekend

Posted on April 4, 2011 in photographs | 9 Comments

We stayed on Cape Ann, near Boston, where we explored some of Salem, Rockport, and Gloucester.

l-r top to bottom: The bookstore in Salem, MA; Kristen on Pebble Beach in Rockport, MA; the boat harbor in downtown Rockport, MA; waves on Pebble Beach; pebbles on Pebble Beach.