Win a spot in the Submissive Playground ecourse

Do you want to attend Submissive Playground? It’s running in July & August (summer school!) and I decided that this time, I would give away one Broke Ass Player spot in the course.

I usually describe it like this:

Submissive Playground is an online course with five live calls, eight weeks of creative, sexy explorations, and four learning modules—Bondage, Discipline, Service, and Masochism—all with the goal to take your submission deeper. And, you’ll get to explore it in community, making friends with other s-types through the course, and learning from each other. The entire course is online, and done within your own levels of comfort. Registration is open until June 30th www.submissiveplayground.com.

What do you get with the Broke Ass Player spot?

  • Access to all the course materials, including porn to watch, erotica to read, and essays about submissive theory
  • Guest videos from amazing BDSM experts, including Lee Harrington, Madison Young, Raven Kaldera, Tina Horn, kd diamond, International Master & slave 2011 Liza & Jody, and more
  • Access to the course message board to discuss your experiences with other submissives
  • Submissive journal homework prompts for each unit
  • A downloadable star chart to track your progress in the course
  • Access to the online All-Player video calls every other week, where we’ll chat about our experiences and I’ll answer your questions
  • A digital certificate of completion that you can print out (and add to your submissive resume or submissive experience folder)

Want to win a spot in the ecourse?

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Just leave a comment below (with a valid email address, that won’t be published) and tell me one thing you’d love to get from the course, or one thing you love about submission, or something else entirely.

The winner will be chosen at random on Wednesday, June 18th, in the evening my time (PST).

Got questions about the course?

Curious but not sure? Other people had some of your same questions, I bet— rife & I did an interactive Q&A about it with about a dozen folks who stopped by to ask questions. Here’s the video, check it out:

I was also on two podcasts over the weekend, talking about Submissive Playground:

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Unspeakable Axe, one of my buddies and favorite podcast hosts, mentioned the Submissive Playground on the Masocast this past weekend. He is off getting married to his dominant Sade this week, and I can’t wait to hear all the dirty stories when he gets back.

And Woody at the new KinkyCast podcast invited me on to talk about Submissive Playground, too. It’s the same episode where LunaKM from Submissive Guide talks about pain processing, episode #19.

Thanks Axe + Woody!

Hope that helps clear up any questions you might have about the Submissive Playground. Still have questions? You can always email me, [email protected], and ask.

Let’s do this! Leave a comment now and win a spot in the course.

Giveaway! Want a membership for Indie Porn Revolution? Of course you do.

I’ve already waxed poetic about the amazingness that is Indie Porn Revolution, so I won’t keep going into that here. So I’ll just put this here …

indieporn indieporn8

I know, it’s hard for me not to curate images that reflect my personal bias. I suppose I could’ve just taken ten images at random from the “Free Tour” page? But I wanted to look through ’em all and pick some of my very favorites for you. FOR YOU, you guyz. I looked at dozens and dozens of fucking hot sexy queer porn shots ALL FOR YOU.

indieporn7 indieporn13 indieporn5 indieporn9

Femmes, cocks, cleavage, tattoos, really nice legs, curves, more femmes, lingerie. I’m so predictable.

indieporn

I really did try to grab a variety!

indieporn12 indieporn11 indieporn10

What I DO have is TWO Indie Porn Revolution trial memberships to give away. So riddle me this, folks, and I’ll be drawing two of you who at random and passing on your info to the inimitable Courtney Trouble so she can set you up an account.

To enter:

I’m trying out a new experiment and using Rafflecopter to run this giveaway. You can enter one (or all!) of four ways.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Drawing will happen first thing Monday morning, April 28th, so you’ve got the weekend to tweet and share and look at the free preview images over and over again. Thanks Courtney & Indie Porn Revolution!

Gaga Feminism Giveaway Winner

Thanks for all the great book recommendations and thoughts in the Gaga Feminism interview blog tour thread, folks.

Someone commented, “I’m just kind of surprised with all the thinking you do on gender studies and feminism you are uncritically endorsing gaga feminism.” I’m not sure I’d say I am “uncritically endorsing” gaga feminism—but I did like reading the book, I think there was a lot of interesting content, and a lot of things to think about and chew on. I’m not sure I agree with everything in the book—but hell, I don’t agree with everything I wrote on this website. I don’t think that I have to agree with everything. I still think it was worth reading and interesting, especially the parts about how gender studies and feminist thought are evolving to include a less binaristic view of gender, the indicators of that in popular culture, and how we as queers and genderqueers and other outlaws can continue to encourage that binaristic breakdown.

I’m not a theorist, so I’m not going to go through the whole book and write up the parts I think need broken down further or that I disagree with. It’s kind of an interesting intellectual exercise to do so, but frankly, I don’t have time. I’d rather be having kinky scenes that I can write about later, or writing love letters, or planning for my next classes.

So! Hey, there is a winner of the giveaway …

Congrats Emily! Thanks, Beacon Press, for providing the books.

Gaga Feminism Giveaway! And Q&A with Jack Halberstam

I—like, I suspect, many of you—was first introduced to Jack Halberstam’s work in college, where I read Female Masculinity in a gender studies class. Jack’s work has been largely influential on the gender binary critiques and to many people that I have studied and read since, and of course influential on my own ideas about gender and performance and masculinities too.

And, he’s got a new book out! The book is called Gaga Feminism: Sex, Gender, and the End of Normal and it’s published by Beacon Press, officially released yesterday, September 18th. It’s an incredibly readable book—like Jack said in my interview with him for Lambda Literary Foundation earlier this year, it’s on an unacademic press and intended for a wider audience. So even if you’re not a theory buff—and I’m not, though I do love theory—it’s a very good read.

A Few Quick Questions for Jack Halberstam

(It’s intimidating to interview one of your mentors! Thanks Jack!)

1. When you discuss the concept of “gaga feminism,” which you say is a feminism “that recognizes multiple genders, that contributes to the collapse of our current sex-gender systems, [and is] a feminism less concerned with the equality of men and women and more interested in the abolition of these terms as such,” (p25), I find myself identifying deeply. I run in many communities which are more invested in that than in the analyzation of the male-female binary, and often feel disillusioned with the mainstream feminism movements which have less concepts of breaking down the system and more that seem to maintain it. How can gaga feminism help queers and genderqueers and other marginalized communities get our message farther into the mainstream, to continue to influence the larger culture? What barriers keep our gaga feminist perceptions of gender from reaching the mainstream, and do you have any suggestions for how to continue the activism of working to break down those barriers?

Great questions Sinclair! As you say, it is frustrating to see so many people acting as if male and female are totally stable categories and as if all the changes in technology, in social formations, in sexual identities and in the visibility of queer bodies have made no difference whatsoever! I hoped and still hope that GAGA FEMINISM would have some appeal as a more mainstream and readable book and that it would be able to circulate complex ideas about sex, gender and fast-changing technologies of gender in an accessible and fun way. That said, there have been a few books out recently like How To Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran, The End of Men by Hanna Rosin and Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb that purport to be feminist analyses of men, women, marriage, work, love and family but actually they mostly shuffle around the same old cliches about hetero reproduction and hope for the best. GAGA FEMINISM begins with the premise of taking a longer tradition of anti-marriage, anti-capitalist feminism seriously and joining it to new queer theory and queer forms of life.

2. I loved your writings about The Kids Are All Right (which start on p54). I enjoyed that film quite a lot and have had many elaborate conversations about its construction, but you articulated some new things I hadn’t heard. I am especially curious about what you said about depictions of relatively sexless long term (lesbian) relationships, as I have been theorizing a lot lately about keeping the spark going in a long term commitment. You’ve been with your partner for many years now—do you have any tips or suggestions about staying sexually connected and satisfied while building something long term?

Well, my point there was that straight culture likes the idea that lesbian long-term relationships are more prone to “fizzle out” that others because women are the kindling rather than the spark when it comes to romance…pardon the metaphor but you get my point. Heterosexual mainstream conversations about desire love to depict women as the ones who create an environment for love and romance and men as the ones who set the whole thing on fire. For this reason, when you have two women, the old narrative goes, you have a lot of love and cuddling but no real…spark! So, The Kids Are All Right feeds into that narrative and assigns all the sexual energy to the sperm donor dad. But that was just one of many reasons I found the film disappointing. As for tips on staying sexually connected etc…sorry dude, I am a terrible advice columnist!!

3. You talk quite a bit about butches and butchness in this book (p86). I do a lot of organizing around butch identity and community, including some work for the BUTCH Voices conferences (and of course your book Female Masculinity has been a huge influence on my understandings of genders). You mention the concept of stone and melting the stone in particular, which is something that I discuss and think about often. I tend to define stone as “having control over how one’s body is touched,” which is not quite the same as impenetrable or not ever receiving sexual pleasure or stimulation. Have you noticed that the caricature of stone butches as “rigid or immobile or frozen” (p86) has changed as we are entering an age of gaga feminism, with more depth of understanding and multiplicity in our definitions of gender roles in general? How can we continue to break down those frozen stereotypes and build something unique and open, with more room for people to be expressing themselves authentically and not feeling stuck in limitations of labels?

Yeah, definitely. I was just using the example of the stone butch in GAGA FEMINISM in order to say that we assign pathological narratives to masculine behavior when it appears in the butch (inflexibility or impenetrability becomes neurotic) but not when it appears in a man. If the man does not want to be penetrated, then he is, well, normal! And in fact, if he does want to be penetrated, then he is suspect. I think GAGA FEMINISM is about recognizing the rapidly generated new forms of desire, embodiment, orientation that proliferate all around us and developing new systems for naming them, owning them and inhabiting them.

**

J. JACK HALBERSTAM is the author of four books, including Female Masculinity and The Queer Art of Failure. Currently a professor of American studies and of ethnicity and gender studies at the University of Southern California, Halberstam regularly speaks and writes on queer culture and gender issues and blogs at BullyBloggers.

Giveaway! I have one copy for one lucky commenter …

Thanks to Beacon Press, I’ve got an extra copy of Gaga Feminism: Sex, Gender, and the End of Normal to give away. I’ll pick a number at random on Monday, the 24th of September, and the corresponding commenter will get the copy.

In order to enter, simply leave a comment on this post and tell me one influential book you’ve read about feminism, or one book about gender, or something you love about Jack Halberstam, or something else entirely. Make sure you leave a valid email address; anyone can enter. I prefer to mail the book to someone in the US, because I’ll be paying for postage—so if you are outside the US, I might ask you to kick me a few bucks to cover the cost of mailing you the book.

Tomorrow’s Gaga Feminism Blog Tour post will be at The Qu—check it out.

Gaga Feminism was sent to me from Beacon Press to review. Thanks Beacon! Pick up your own copy at your local feminist queer bookstore, or, if you must, from Amazon.

RodeoH Boxer Brief Harness Giveaway! Leave a Comment to Enter

It’s Sugarbutch’s 6th anniversary! So let’s have a giveaway.

The RodeoH brief harness has been hugely popular since it was released last year, and they’ve just released a grey boxer brief, too. They are comfortable, easy to pack with, machine washable, and pretty fucken adorable, so it’s no wonder that everybody loves them.

Want one of your very own? Leave a comment with one blessing for Sugarbutch’s anniversary or one thing you love or your favorite post or something you’d like to see me write about or a comment with something else entirely to enter the contest. You must leave a legitimate email address in order for us to contact you to get your mailing address and boxer brief size.

I’ll pick a winner from the comments at random on Monday, May 7th.

Thanks, RodeoH!

Giveaway: The RodeoH Harness Winner Is …

#11, sterhymeswithtree:

If you’ve got some time, read through the comment thread on the RodeoH harness giveaway. Everybody left really fun and amazing stories about first time strap on experiences, packing experiences, harnesses that are awesome, all that. It strikes me that these stories are incredibly fun to tell, but that it’s pretty infrequent that we sit around telling our friends about the first time we strapped on, or when our harness malfunctioned, or how we’ve never tried it but want to. (Or, I don’t know, probably some of you do. I do, but only sometimes.) It’s fun to have a place to express that small story, and have others read it.

Thanks so much, RodeoH, for doing a harness giveaway for us. I am excited to see the larger sizes, the boxer-brief style, and whatever they might come up with in the future. If you didn’t win, sorry. You can still go right now to the RodeoH online store and enter code “SexSmith” to get $10 off your purchase—usually $45, they’d be $35 for Sugarbutch readers. I’d be curious, if you get one, how you like it—if you want to let me know, I’d love to read your own review or reactions.

Giveaway: RodeoH Harness!

Hot on the heels of my RodeoH harness review, I was chatting with one of the two girls from the good ol’ Mission District of San Francisco behind RodeoH, and talked ’em in to making a RodeoH harness available to Sugarbutch readers via a giveaway.

Your choice of size and color: Black/red, black/dark gray, or black/gray, in waist sizes 23-24″, 25-26″, 27-29″, 30-32″, 33-35″, 36-38″, 39-41″.

Want it?

Leave a comment in this thread with something about your first strap-on harness, the most exciting place you ever had strap-on sex, if you’ve ever packed out in public, the name of your favorite harness, or why you want to win this … or something else entirely. You must enter a valid email address to win (otherwise, how can I tell you that you won?).

One commenter will be chosen at random on Monday, 24 October.

If you can’t wait, you can go right now to the RodeoH online store and enter code “SexSmith” to get $10 off your purchase. They’re only $45, so that’s a pretty good deal.

Thanks, RodeoH!

The “Bring Down the Chandeliers” Winner

… is #23, Sabina! I’ll contact you individually to follow up.

Hope you all get a chance to see Tara Hardy perform, please do seek her out. Sabina, I hope you enjoy the book!

Sabina mentioned Tamiko Beyer as her favorite, another queer femme poet of whom I am a big fan. Tamiko read at Sideshow last year, and I’ve seen her perform a few times around the New York area. Actually, I have a piece in the literary journal that she edits, Drunken Boat, that you might recognize called Rocking Chair Blow Job.

Mentor Series: Tara Hardy & Her New Book, Bring Down the Chandeliers

Tara Hardy has been a mentor and influence of mine since I first saw her perform in Seattle in 2000. I then went on to be one of her students for about five years, studying at Bent: A Writing Institute for Queers, where I eventually became a volunteer and substitute teacher, and where I learned a ton about performing, chapbooks, writing, queerness, butchness, femmes, and all sorts of other life things.

Anything But God by Tara Hardy, one of my favorite pieces of hers:

Her new book, Bring Down the Chandeliers, is published on Write Bloody and is brilliant. I have many of her previous self-published chapbooks, so I recognized some of these poems, but even familiar with her work I was thrilled to see them re-made and re-imagined for this new collection. I love how she’s edited them.

I bought an extra copy of her new book just so I could give it away here on Sugarbutch. Want it? Leave a comment with your favorite poet or poem or book of poems, or something else entirely, and I’ll pick a winner at random next week Monday when I get back from Dark Odyssey.

One of her recent chapbooks, Shoulder Slip Strap (which she probably has copies of if you email her or find her on Facebook), has this short but amazing piece in it that I have been chewing on ever since I read it.

Isn’t that just oh so perfect? I love how much is encapsulated.

She’s going to be touring in the Northeast in September and October, so if she’s coming to a city near you, this is your chance to see her perform. Do it. From her Facebook note:

Tara Hardy on the loose for 20 days in the northeast: 18 performances, 8 workshops, 1 rental car, more shoes than she shoulda, and lots & lots-o-copies of Bring Down the Chandeliers (for sale!).

*Thursday, 9/15: Amherst, MA, Smith College
*Friday, 9/16: Somerville, MA, Poets Theater (Arts at the Armory, 191 Highland Ave) 8pm
*Saturday, 9/17: Boston, MA, Jme Caroline’s kitchen, Time TBA
*Sunday, 9/18: Portland, ME, Rhythmic Cypher, Slainte Wine Bar (24 Preble St) 8pm
*Monday, 9/19: Portland, ME, workshop TBA, performance at Port Veritas (Local Sprouts, 649 Congress), Time TBA
*Tuesday, 9/20: Providence, RI, Providence Poetry Slam (AS220, 115 Empire Ave) 9pm
*Wednesday, 9/21: Day of rest, or rather, bookstore hop.
*Thursday, 9/22: Manchester, NH, Milly’s Tavern (500 Commercial Street) 8pm
*Friday, 9/23: New York, NY, Nuyorican Poetry Slam (Nuyorican Poets Café, 236 E Third St) 9pm
*Saturday, 9/24: Worcester, MA, Clark College Youth Performance, (location TBA) 7pm
*Sunday, 9/25: Worcester, MA, Clark College Workshop (location TBA) 2-4pm and Poets Asylum, (WCUW Front Room, 910 Main St) 7pm
*Monday, 9/26: New York, NY, LouderARTS (Bar 13, 35 East 13th Street) 7:30pm
*Tuesday, 9/27: Washington, D.C., Beltway Poetry Slam (The Fridge, 516 8th Street SE) 7:30pm
*Wednesday, 9/28: Washington, D.C., Busboys & Poets (5th & K Streets) 9pm
*Thursday, 9/29: Long Branch, NJ, Loser Slam (665 Second Avenue) workshop 8pm, performance, 9pm
*Friday, 9/30: Jersey City, NJ, JC Slam (location & time TBA)
*Saturday, 10/1: Richmond, VA, Richmond Slam (Artspace Art Gallery, 31 E 3rd St) workshop & performance, 5-7:30pm
*Sunday, 10/2: Day of rest, or rather, search for best vegan food in D.C.
*Monday, 10/3: Washington, D.C. Mothertongue (DC Center, 1318 U Street NW) workshop 6:30-8, performance, 9pm
*Tuesday, 10/4: New York, NY, Urbana Poetry Slam (Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery) 7pm

When Peace Comes by Tara Hardy

Thank you, Tara, for all that you’ve done and all you’ve taught and all you’ve shared with the world. You’ve been a huge influence, and I wouldn’t be where I am if I hadn’t had your guidance and brilliance along the way.

Winner! Double Panel Compression Shirt

Thanks to Random.org, the random winner of the double panel compression shirt is … Barrett!

Ice cream sounds like a great idea for this heat wave.

I had a couple of questions about the compression shirt in the comments & via Twitter, so I’ll try to answer ’em here. Seems like that review was kind of vague (sorry about that)—to be honest, I’m not an expert in compression shirts, so I might not be the best person to answer these. This is my first experience with one and I haven’t been wearing it much this summer, so that’s about all I know. But I’ll do my best to answer these with what I know!

This looks like something my butch partner would really like in her size. What I can’t figure out is, if you purchase this in your size and you are someone with large breasts — does this cover the breasts completely or does the shirt still show the top of your breasts? Either way, I’m sure it’s fine under a button down—but I’ve been searching for something that covers the butch rack completely (cause cleavage isn’t what she’s going for).

Basically, it covers your breasts completely. If you have larger breasts (like I do) it does give you a little bit of cleavage at the top, because in order to flatten it has to spread ’em out as much as possible. It is definitely fine under a button down. I’m not sure I would wear it by itself, but it is very easy to wear under a tank top or tee shirt and won’t give you cleavage.

I got a question about the compression shirt. Should I buy one in my size or a size smaller??—@C_Rod224 on Twitter

I bought a size M because that’s the size of men’s tee shirt I wear, but it did NOT fit. The XL is still quite small and for a minute, I thought maybe it wasn’t going to be big enough to fit, but it does—it’s just a challenge to get on and off. So I would try one size larger.

I’m not an expert at this, though—other folks who have binders: do you generally buy your same tee shirt size, a size larger, a size smaller? What’s the rule for this?

One more question … I wanted to buy her the frog bra you had mentioned before and apparently it’s been discontinued… Do you or any of your readers know of a place that still sells them or of something with a different name that achieves the same effect? thank you thank you!

Yeah, it’s discontinued. From my understanding, it’s pretty good if you’re a C-D cup, but it’s not great if you’re bigger than that. I’ve tried a LOT of athletic bras, aka binders, and the best thing that I’ve found that works for me is my favorite, the Enell bra. I’ve got about four of these now, and while the elastic does wear down, when they are fresh, for me, they are nearly as effective as the compression shirt.

Anybody else out there have opinions about bras/binders that work well for larger-breasted folks?

The double panel compression shirt was sent to me from Babeland for review. Pick up other sex toys from Babeland, still my favorite feminist, queer, friendly, educational neighborhood sex shop.

Review & Giveaway: Double Panel Compression Shirt

I’ve been putting off this review because just about as soon as I received this double panel compression shirt, New York City started that little heat wave called SUMMER, and I have barely worn it since. In fact, while I’ve been working at home the last few days I’ve been topless, and when the time comes to go out in an actual shirt I can barely stand the fabric of a tank top on my skin, so there’s NO WAY I would wear this right now.

But I would gladly wear it, in general. I didn’t connect that it’d be 60-80 degrees while I was just visiting the Pacific Northwest, or I would’ve definitely brought it on that trip. There were a few times I wished I had.

I bought a compression shirt a few years back, the same brand—which seems from my knowledge to be the most famous and common brand—and while I thought I was getting the right size, I could not get it on. It did not fit.

So it is still basically brand new, in a box, where it’s been since I got it.

Would you like to have it? It’s size M, black. Leave a comment about one fun thing you’ve done this summer (or something else, just leave a comment) and I’ll pick one comment at random and mail it to you—if you’re in the US I’ll pay postage, if you’re outside of the US you pay postage. I’ll pick a winner on Tuesday, August 9.

This new one, though, I ordered a bit too large, in size XL, and it fits.

It helps tremendously with button down shirts and vests and flattening out my torso in general. I find it hard to breathe in, just a little, which is also why it’s been hard to wear in the last few months, because I’ve been thinking about and witnessing lots of things related to breathing and breath. I have to be a bit strategic about wearing it; I wouldn’t want to put it on for a hike or even a day when I was doing a whole lot of walking around New York City. I can definitely tell when I eat a large meal while wearing it, too.

I am pretty large chested—usually I wear a 34DD, though lately it’s been a 36DD—so I didn’t know if I could wear one of these at all. Glad to discover that it turns out, I can.

And you can bet I’ll be wearing it frequently once it cools down a bit more.

The double panel compression shirt was sent to me from Babeland for review. Pick up other sex toys from Babeland, still my favorite feminist, queer, friendly, educational neighborhood sex shop.

QueerPorn.TV Porn Party Winner

Winner of the one month membership to QueerPorn.TV is Comment #7, Missy, who says: “I totally want to see the Billy Castro and Johnny Mission scene!”

I think Judy Minx is in that scene too. Then again, I can tell who it is you’re looking forward to watching …

Hope you’ll join us tonight, Missy. There’s still time to pick up a membership to QueerPorn.TV—$5 off if you go through the secret #pornparty sale.

Kristen and I invited a (hot butch top) friend over for dinner before hand, so she’ll be joining us in commenting on the porn viewing. Follow @kitchentop and @mrsexsmith to see what we’ve got to say about the new QueerPorn.TV.

You can also follow @garnetjoyce, my co-host of this Twitter Porn Party, as well as @queerporntv, @courtneytrouble, and @tinahornsass who are the geniuses behind QueerPorn.TV, follow @billycastroxxx, @thedylanryan, @judyminx, @ignacio_rivera, and @jizlee, who are some of the stars we’ll be watching! I’m not sure who will be joining us tonight yet, but keep an eye on their accounts, they might be around and responding to the #pornparty.

QueerPorn.TV Porn Party Giveaway

UPDATE! Secret special QueerPorn.TV membership for $5 off, special for Porn Party-goers!

Well hello there! I’m still writing away (or trying to) on my small hiatus, but I’m poking my head up out of Scrivener long enough to co-host a Twitter Porn Party Wednesday night, tomorrow, where we’ll be watching four episodes of QueerPorn.TV.

Want to join us? There’s still time to pick up a membership, and from what little I’ve seen of the site already, it is absolutely worth it if you’re into, well, queer porn. You can rent the videos individually or get a VIP membership for $29.95 a month (and you can cancel at any time), which I’d recommend if you’re going to join us since we’ll be watching four of ’em.

But, if you don’t have that kind of extra cash to spend on queer porn, who can blame you, I mean it’s a recession (aren’t we still in a recession? Or is that over now?) and we’re all underemployed.

So if you promise to come to the porn party, just leave a comment on this post to win a 1-month membership with which episode on QueerPorn.TV you’re most excited to see, or which looks the most hot from the descriptions and photos. Or the porn star you wish would be on QueerPorn.TV. Or something else entirely.

This is a quick giveaway—winner will be announced tomorrow morning so you’ll have time to get the membership all set up for the Porn Party, which is tomorrow, January 19th (6pm PST / 9pm EST), #pornparty on Twitter.

Oh, a quick aside—someone asked me yesterday if they could host their own Porn Party. Of course! We don’t have any claim on it. It’s been a blast so far, the others Garnet and I have hosted have been fun.

Crash Pad Membership Winner—Join us for the Porn Party Tonight

And the winner of the one month level 2 Crash Pad Series membership is … AfroDisiac! Will email you directly with more information. And I hope you can join Garnet Joyce & I for the Porn Party tonight!

Didn’t win this time? Aw, sorry. Next time maybe. But you can still join us for the Porn Party—use coupon code 14E for 10% off any level of membership! Check out some of the beautiful stills from the scenes we’re going to watch.

A few folks have said things like, “Boy, that sounds fun! Too bad you live so far away!” But guess what? It doesn’t matter where you are, you can take part in the Porn Party—it happens at your place, and on Twitter!

Maybe I haven’t explained it quite well enough. Here’s what you do:

1. Make sure you’ve got a membership to the Crash Pad Series! Level 2 or 3 recommended (for streaming video—level 1 is photos only). Use coupon code 14E if you don’t have one yet, that’ll getcha 10% off. Dig up your password and have it on hand so you don’t have to scramble for it later.

2. Log on to Twitter and follow the hashtag #pornparty. You can also do this through TweetChat, which is a great way to follow conversations happening on Twitter.

3. At the specified time, in your time zone (6pm PST / 9pm EST) tonight, Wednesday December 1st, start up episode 81 of Crash Pad Series, and start up Twitter, watch, and post your thoughts. You can follow what we’re chatting about even without having a Twitter account, but it’d be more fun if you post your thoughts too (and include the hastag #pornparty so we see it!).

4. Bonus: follow @mrsexsmith and @garnetjoyce, the hosts of this Twitter Porn Party, and follow @crashpadseries and @pinkwhite and @shinelouise who are the makers of the Crash Pad Series, and follow @cinnamax, @tinahornsass, @billycastroxxx, @arabelleraphael, @thedylanryan, and @drewdeveaux who are some of the stars we’ll be watching in the scenes tonight! (Did I miss anybody?)

Get it? I hope you’ll join us!

Wednesday Dec 1: Twitter Porn Party featuring Crash Pad Series

Don’t forget, Garnet Joyce & I are hosting a Twitter Porn Party on Wednesday, December 1st at 6pm PST / 9pm EST. Log on to twitter and follow us through the hashtag #pornparty if you’d like to see what we think of recent Crash Pad Series episodes (check out some still photos and descriptions of the scenes we’re going to watch).

Pink & White sent this out today:

“Wednesday, December 1st, bloggers Sinclair Sexsmith and Garnet Joyce will host an online porn viewing party on Twitter.com. They?ll be using the hashtag #pornparty so log in and follow @mrsexsmith & @garnetjoyce. They will be watching and commenting on four episodes from Season 12: Episodes 81 (CinnamonChocolate Chip, and 9), 82 (Drew Deveaux and Dylan Ryan), 83 (Tina Horn and Roger Wood), and 84 (Arabelle Raphael and Billy Castro).”

If you haven’t seen the Crash Pad Series, you’re missing out. Seriously. I know there’s that old adage that there’s no good lesbian/dyke/queer porn out there, but that is just not true anymore. Shine Louise Houston is an artful director and has been leading the way in the queer porn headway during the 2000s. If you think porn is too harsh, not tender enough, too much bang-bang-banging, not enough talking, not enough real people—I bet you’ll be surprised by the Crash Pad. With nearly 100 episodes, I bet you’ll find more than a few you really, really like, too.

Join us on Wednesday night! Use Coupon Code 14E for 10% off any level of membership. (Recommend level 2 – video streaming; level 3 – downloads and behind the scenes). Offer Expires December 1st.

I’m giving away a membership today! So hopefully the winner can join us on Twitter Wednesday night. Leave a comment in this thread and I’ll pick a winner at random tomorrow (Tuesday) evening to receive a one month level 2 membership. Comment on this post with your favorite sexy way to get woken up or what you did this morning or something else entirely and you’ll be entered. Must have a valid email address!

The Next Porn Party: Crash Pad Series

Garnet Joyce & I are hosting (or, “hosting”) another queer porn party on Twitter next week Wednesday, December 1, at 6pm PST / 9pm EST.

If you don’t know Crash Pad … well, you should! I think Shine Louise Houston is making pretty much hands down the best porn out there right now, and it happens to be queer and gender-inclusive and kinky as hell and hot hot hot. It started out as a single DVD film, but has expanded in recent years to a web-based series of episodes divided up by “season.” Memberships range from $20 a month for level 1 (photos only) membership to $35 a month for a level 3 (photos, video, behind the scenes, and downloads).

But! We have a special deal for Porn Party viewers: Use Coupon Code 14E for 10% off any level of membership. (Recommend level 2 – video streaming; level 3 – downloads and behind the scenes). Offer Expires December 1st!

I’m also giving away a one-month membership! Hopefully the winner can join us on Twitter on December 1st to tell us what they think of the episodes. Details of the giveaway announced next week.

If you haven’t seen any of the Crash Pad episodes yet, now’s the chance to do it! Regardless of what your kink or interest is, there’s got to be something in there you’ll enjoy—there are nearly 100 episodes up!

I used to try to keep up with them all, but there are so many! So Garnet and I decided it’d be fun to choose a few and watch ’em on Twitter with whomever wants to watch. We’ll be using the Twitter hashtag #pornparty as we narrate what we think of the scenes.

We decided to watch season 12, episodes 81, 82, 83, and 84, so I picked some photos to show you the people who are in the scenes. Here’s the details (behind the cut to attempt to keep this site slightly more readable at work) …

Twitter Porn Party Tonight & Giveaway Winner

Thanks to the Random Integer Generator for picking commenter #2 as the winner of the $30 Good Vibrations Gift Card:

Congrats, I’ll be in touch!

Don’t forget! Garnet Joyce & I are hosting another Porn Party over on Twitter tonight at 6pm PST / 9pm EST. Join us as we watch Tight Places: A Drop of Color and comment on it with the hashtag #pornparty.

If you tune in, Garnet is going to give away another $30 gift card during the porn party itself, so keep an eye on Twitter and the #pornparty hashtag tonight.

Tight Places: A Drop of Color Twitter Porn Party & Giveaway

Garnet Joyce & I are hosting another Porn Party over on Twitter next week, September 8th, Wednesday, at 6pm PST / 9pm EST. Join us as we watch Tight Places: A Drop of Color and comment on it with the hashtag #pornparty.

If you’ll be watching along with us, let me (@mrsexsmith) or @garnetjoyce know, or use the hashtag, and we’ll be sure to mention you!

Here’s the description for the film, Tight Places: A Drop of Color, directed by Nenna:

Incite your senses with this hot and diverse new offering from Reel Queer Productions! Featuring the creative styling of new director Nenna and a luscious all people of color cast. Tight Places showcases true chemistry, solos to foursomes, unconventional sex, authentic female orgasms, female ejaculation, and even a few outdoor scenes! Lots of great extras, including commentary and interviews. 2010, 90 minutes.

What’s that? You don’t have a copy of this flick yet? Well you’re in luck: Good Vibrations is giving away two $30 gift cards that you can use to buy the DVD, video on demand minutes, or anything else you’d like from their store.

If you want to enter, leave a comment with a valid email address mentioning how you might use that thirty bucks, or some other comment entirely, and I’ll pick one winner at random on Wednesday morning, September 8th.

And stay tuned for more goodies the day of the party!

If you don’t win this one, don’t worry—Garnet is going to give away another $30 gift card during the porn party itself, so keep an eye on Twitter and the #pornparty hashtag next Wednesday night.

Lesbian Cowboys Erotica Giveaway … The Winner Is:

Winner of a copy of the sexy new erotica book Lesbian Cowboys: Erotic Adventures by Sacchi Green and Rakelle Valencia, which recently won the 2010 Lammy for Best Lesbian Erotica, is #13, a.!.

Thanks to Random.org who always supplies me with a “true” random integer when doing these giveaway contests. And thanks to Cleis Press and Lambda Literary Foundation who provided me with two copies of the book such that I could give one of ’em away.

Thanks, everybody, for adding your favorite role-play ideas or reasons why cowboys are hot into the mix, that was fun to watch as the comments came in. Consider picking up a copy for yourself at your own local, queer, feminist, independent bookstore (assuming that you’d like it to be there next time you need a book) or, if you must, order it from Amazon.

Giveaway! Lesbian Cowboys Erotica

Thanks to Cleis Press and Lambda Literary Foundation, I ended up with two copies of Lesbian Cowboys: Erotic Adventures by Sacchi Green and Rakelle Valencia. My overabundance is your gain, however, so let’s have a giveaway.

Take a look at my review of Lesbian Cowboys if you’d like to see the kind of thing you might expect in this book of erotica … it’s good. Quite good really. Definitely a lot of role play, a lot of gender play, a lot of hot sexy smut based in other time periods. Really worth reading.

To win: leave a comment on this post with your favorite role play scenario, or one thing that’s hot about cowboys (the dyke kind, or another kind, whatever), or the last time you went out west, or something else entirely.

If you’re out of the United States, I may ask you to send me a few bucks for shipping if it’s way expensive to mail it to you. Otherwise, it’ll be on my dime.

I’ll close the comments on Friday to give everyone a chance to chime in. Just make sure you leave a valid email address where I can contact you!

Winner! Pleasure Panties

And the Pleasure Panties go to … Alphafemme!

Um, HOT.

If you need some inspiration, or to kill some time, or are a voyeur (like me) and like to read about other people’s public sex stories, I highly recommend reading through some of the comments on that giveaway thread. It was really fun to watch them roll in … and y’all are pervs! So many naughty stories of public exhibitionism, almost getting caught, and not being able to wait a minute longer.

And if you love reading the Sugarbutch comments, you can always subscribe via RSS to the comment feed.

Congrats, Alphafemme—I will be emailing you for your mailing address.

Giveaway: Pleasure Panties

As of 2/8/16 This product is no longer available at Babeland

I go back and forth on the word “panties.” Usually, I think I use “undies,” and I do like “thong,” as a word, though my girl rarely (never?) wears those.

But, y’know, when Christina says it’s sexy, I listen.

“Panties is a wonderful word. When did you stop saying “panties”? It’s sexy. It’s girlie. It’s naughty. Say it more.” —Christina Hendricks in May’s Esquire.

So: I introduce to you, I introduce you to, to you I introduce, the Pleasure Panties. The idea is that the wearer gives the remote to someone else, and has to endure all kinds of turning-on and buzzing and vibration up against her clit while trying to keep her composure.

A lovely little torture indeed.

I’m not usually such a fan of little gimmicky vibes like this, but you know what sold me? Of course you do. You know me so well. Yeah, it was the ribbons. The ties on the side. That casual little bow that says, “Oops! I didn’t mean to come untied, silly me.” I even have a whole “ribbon” category over on my Tumblr. I’m easy sometimes, a sucker, it’s true. But hey, it’s good to know what you like!

Want these little Pleasure Panties? (It still sounds funny, sorry Christina!) Leave a comment on this post with one naughty thing you’ve done in public, or one thing you wish you’d done in public, or one thing you fantasize about in public, or, you know, something else entirely, and I’ll pick one random lucky winner on Monday morning.

PS: If you live outside the US, you’ll have to throw in a few bucks for shipping.

These Pleasure Panties were provided by Babeland for giveaway. Visit the Babeland website for more great sex toys like this one. Thanks, Babeland!

2010 Sex Blogger Calendar Giveaway Winners

Happy Friday y’all! Here are the winners of the 2010 Sex Blogger Calendar giveaway:

#2 Lia Sphere who loves Namio Harukawa
#9 Ash-a-Fresh who loves Kat Von D
#13 Alisha who loves Gil Elvgren
#14 ButchTay who loves The Pretty Things Peepshow
#18 Havi Brooks (and duck) who love Persinnamon

I liked seeing all the different pin-ups that people linked to! And was introduced to some new artists, too; thanks, everybody, for the comments and links.

And since the Marilyn Monroe shot of her lifting weights, specifically, got mentioned three times, I’m posting it here. (I like the ones of her reading, personally, but there are so many to love.)

Don’t forget, you can STILL order the 2010 Sex Blogger Calendar, in case you somehow don’t have one yet!

Will be in touch with you winners—just need your mailing addresses to send out the calendars.

April’s Pin-Up Giveaway

It’s April again, and you already know that means it’s my birthday, and Sugarbutch’s blogiversary. But did you also know that this year, I am the April pin-up in the 2010 Sex Blogger Calendar?

ss_cal
Me, my photo in this year’s calendar with Audacia Ray (photographed by Amanda Morgan), and Kristen at the Sex Blogger Calendar Party, November 2009. Photo by Nick McGlynn

I wrote about the process behind the photo and what Dacia and I had in mind when we started planning our own “vision of sexual freedom.” I still don’t have a good digital version of the photo by itself, but this shot of me holding the calendar will have to do.

Tess and Diva have graciously let me give away FIVE of these lovely calendars to celebrate my pin-up month. Want one? Leave a comment with a link to your favorite pin-up photo, or just one that you really like, or your favorite pin-up photo model or photographer (Marilyn Monroe? Dita von Teese? Hilda? Gil Elvgren? Les Toil?). Don’t worry if you don’t have one—it’s not very hard to Google pin-up photos and waste some time looking through for one you like.

Since you’ll show me yours, here are some of mine: photos tagged “pinup” from my mrsexsmith.tumblr.com log. Not my all-time favorites, but some of the notable ones from the last year or so of tumblr. Maybe I’ll spend some time adding some of my favorites!

There are not very many calendars left, but I bet if you run over to the Waking Vixen store you can still order one.

Here’s why you want one: you’ll be told of your favorite sex blogger’s birthdays and blogiversaries, you’ll get special discount codes from the fabulous sex toy companies who sponsored the calendar, you’ll get to stare at some gorgeous sex blogger’s pretty faces all year round, and, of course, you’ll be supporting Sex Work Awareness with your money.

Five winners of the New York City Sex Blogger 2010 Calendar will be chosen at random Friday morning, April 9th.

Giveaway Winners! Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch Femme Erotica

Comments and entries to win Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch Femme Erotica edited by Tristan Taormino are now closed! The winners are:

bifemmefatale, whose favorite erotica “of all time is Pat Califia’s “Macho Sluts”. It’s female-centric but includes men as well, it’s unabashedly kinky, the Tops are racially diverse, butch and femme, and there’s a wide variety of styles of kink. … The only problem I have with the book is that it raised my expectations too high—I have yet to meet a real-life Top quite as hot as those in its pages!”

And the second copy goes to Irene, who said “I want this book so bad I can’t even think of a coherent comment.”

Will be emailing you both individually, and sending it out to you within a week or so.

And I hope those of you who didn’t win will check out this book, and pick it up! More details about the book here, or order it on Amazon, or from your local feminist queer indy bookstore.

Here’s the screenshot from Random.org:

Giveaway! Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch Femme Erotica

Thanks to Cleis Press and Tristan Taormino, I’ve got TWO copies of the lovely new erotica anthology called Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch Femme Erotica edited by Tristan Taormino (in which I have a short story). More details about the book when I mentioned it a few weeks ago here.

Shall I mail you a copy of it? Just comment on this post and let me know what your favorite written erotica anthology is, or your favorite erotica writer, or that one erotica story that you always get out when you want to get your blood going. Bonus points if you describe what it is you love about the story. Or comment that you’ve never read erotica, or that you kind of hate it … or something else entirely, the point is just that you comment. I’ll pick two comments at random and notify you by email.

If you’re outside of the US, that’s fine, but I might ask you to kick me a few bucks for shipping. You just have to include a valid email address to enter.

Winners will be picked Friday morning, March 26th.

Thanks Cleis! Thanks Tristan!

And the Crash Pad Membership Goes To …

Oops! Sorry about that, I am just now getting the winner chosen for the Crash Pad Series Giveaway.

The winner is: #41, Morgs! Congrats! I will email you and set you in touch with the folks at The Crash Pad Series to get your membership.

Better luck next time, folks! Don’t forget, you can still go get your very own membership whenever you like … click on over to crashpadseries.com.

Welcome back from wherever you went for the holidays. If you’ve got a minute, read the holiday comments on the Crash Pad Series giveaway post, because they are full of details about what queers (especially) go through in dealing with our sometimes very un-understanding families. They’re comforting, actually, in knowing you’re not alone in dealing with some of the hardships of marginalization.

Happy Solstice Crash Pad Series Membership Giveaway

Though I did grow up celebrating Christmas, my family is not particularly religious. I’ve been to Christian church services probably less than a handful of times (I can think of twice, off the top of my head). The past few years, I’ve resolved to celebrate the holiday as winter solstice, rather than Christmas – we’re getting more and more broad in our “happy holidays” wishes, more inclusive, I think, in the mainstream, and the difference of celebrating on the 21st instead of the 25th is negligible.

My family still does gifts on Christmas morning, and that’s fine with me – tradition, familiarity, ritual. But being some form of pagan & buddhist, what I’m really celebrating here is the darkest day of the year, and the return of the light.

Winter solstice is an astronomical event. It has to do with the placement of our Earth in the solar system, the rotation of the Earth’s axis, how we spin around the sun. It is the day – in the Northern hemisphere – where the hours of daylight are the shortest, and from here until summer solstice, they build to longer and longer hours of daylight.

The Winter Solstice occurs exactly when the earth’s axial tilt is farthest away from the sun [in the Northern hemisphere] at its maximum of 23° 26′. Though the Winter Solstice lasts only an instant in time, the term is also colloquially used as Midwinter to refer to the day on which it occurs. More evident to those in high latitudes, this is the shortest day, and longest night, and the sun’s daily maximum position in the sky is the lowest. Worldwide, interpretation of the event has varied from culture to culture, but most cultures have held a recognition of rebirth, involving holidays, festivals, gatherings, rituals or other celebrations around that time. – Winter solstice at Wikipedia

That last part is especially interesting to me – that most cultures have holy days around this time of year, that many of the festivals involve pretty lights or candles (to signify the darkness and cold days), family gatherings (to signify love and support despite the potential affects of SAD), gifts (to show how we are cared for), and resolutions (symbolizing rebirth and renewal). And to me, the ritual that is the least stripped of human prosthelytizing is the one that celebrates the earth, the seasons, the move around the sun, the changes in our relationship to light.

I’ve often mentioned the Wheel of the Year here on Sugarbutch, and have often said it is something that I’d like to more intentionally observe. And the combination of Kristen’s obsession with eating seasonal, local foods, means that I’d really love to throw four wheel parties next year, at the solstices and equinoxes. (There are four lesser holy-days too – candlemas, beltaine, lammas, samhain – that occur at the midpoint between a solstice and an equinox, and I would love to do something to acknowledge them, too, but I’m not sure what – probably not a whole dinner party, just lighting a candle and acknowledging the day – perhaps with a blog post – would be plenty.)

So, Kristen made dinner: butternut squash soup with ginger, garlic, and peanuts, kale with garlic and butter, baked sweet potato fries, and cardamom-orange sugar cookies, on Monday, December 21st, in celebration of solstice, and we talked about the rebirthing process, the things we wanted to allow to blossom in our lives as the days get longer through to the summer solstice.

This is the post where I wish all my best to YOU all, readers and visitors, friends and strangers. Thank you for reading, for following along, and I wish you the best and brightest in this dark time of year.

Oh, but my spiritual beliefs probably aren’t why you’re reading this post. What you really want to know about is the giveaway, right?

Well here it is: to warm your midwinter, I’m giving away one single two-month long level 2 membership to The Crash Pad Series, which I am constantly touting as THE BEST QUEER PORN available. Hands down. No contest. Anytime Kristen and I watch anything else, we usually say, “well, it’s not Shine, but …”

I made up this rule for myself oh, about ten years ago, that I would never pay for porn on the internet. And it’s pretty easy to keep that rule, with all those big amateur porn sites and an easy enough Google image search and all the trailers and freebies at the good porn sties, sure. But as soon as I got a Crash Pad membership, I kicked myself: why didn’t I do that sooner?! It really is that good. It might not even be the best queer porn, it might be the best porn, PERIOD. The skill and smarts and aesthetic and filmmaking … even the premise! I love it. I anxiously await the next episode.

There are so many different types of queer folks depicted in their scenes, no matter what kind of queer you are attracted to, or what kind of sex you like to watch, there is tons of it in The Crash Pad Series. Strap ons. Vibrators. Punky girls. Tattoos. Piercings. Shaved heads. Femmes. Butches. Long-term lovers. Skilled rope work. Belts. Flogging. Slapping. Fisting. Anal. Knives. Force. Negotiation. Melted wax. Punching. Threesomes. Squirting. Sweet lovemaking. Begging. Dirty talk. Oh yeah, there is a little bit of everything.

For some of my favorite scenes from The Crash Pad Series, check My Favorite Scenes in Porn Flicks. And if that’s not enough, watch this teaser, featuring Julie and Michelle Aston.

The Crash Pad Series also puts out DVDs, many of which I have reviewed here on the site, but for about the price of the DVD, I’d recommend instead a one-month level 3 membership, which has permissions to download the videos that you like. Then you can test it out, go through and find the ones you want, and download them. The DVDs generally have about 5 scenes on them, but with a site membership you get access to every episode, and can save your favorites.

Tell ’em Sinclair sent you. (That’s the same as using that link < —- to purchase a membership, since if you do it through my links on this site, I get a little bitty kickback from the purchase. I’ll even do my Elvis impression for you: thank ya, thank ya very much.)

How generous of The Crash Pad Series to offer a membership to one of you lucky folks! Thanks!

So, to enter this little giveaway:

Leave a comment with one thing about the holidays: why you love them, what your favorite family ritual is, how hard it is to be queer and deal with extended homophobic family (h/t Essin’ Em), the ways you keep your kinkiness under wraps in order to be “appropriate,” your blessings for brightness in the wintertime, your favorite thing about winter, the way you celebrate this time of year, or something else entirely. You get the idea. The winner will be chosen at random from the comments on Monday, 28 December, after we’ve all had a chance to eat with our families and come back to our queer lives.

Champion DVD Giveaway – Winner!

Thanks so much, everyone, for the bits of feedback in the Champion DVD giveaway. I have asked for feedback on the site, what you think or what you’d like to see more or less of, before, but I’ve never had this great of a response. I so appreciate it.

I’ve got some things to say in response to the critical feedback especially, but perhaps not now. I was surprised to see the mentions of “I don’t always agree with you, but” – I’m glad that it’s still useful to engage with my work, even if you don’t agree, and I’m very curious about the things you don’t agree with me on! Please do consider this an invite to dialogue more, if you feel so inspired. Also, someone mentioned safer sex, especially in my fiction, and I hear you. I have some thoughts on that, but it’s also duly noted.

Many of you mentioned that my introspection is some of what you really like. I haven’t been writing a ton about my personal struggles here lately; as the audience of this site grows, it feels too revealing for me to have my struggles so much in public. I still want to write about that stuff (and journal on my inner personal workings daily). I appreciate hearing that the self-awareness struggles are useful, though, and I’ll try to include those here in ways that are safe for me, and still telling the story for you.

Oh, right, the winner! #56, femme in butch clothing. Congrats! (I sent you an email.)

Gratuitous Syd Blakovich as Jesse in Champion photo:

champion1

Those of you who didn’t win, sorry … you should consider picking up the Champion DVD anyway, because it’s HOT.

Thanks, Babeland!

Sugarbutch Hits 1,000,000! Champion DVD Giveaway!

champion2

If you don’t know about the queer indy porn flick Champion by Pink & White Productions, I bet you haven’t been spending much time around the queer/porn blogosphere lately, because it has quickly risen to the top of many all-time favorite lists. I wrote my own review of Champion back in January 09 if you’d like to see how I enjoyed it.

If you haven’t seen this, you’re missing out.

And now’s your chance! Because see, Sugarbutch’s visitor counter hit 1,000,000 last week. One million! Can you believe it? Stat counters aren’t exactly rocket science, I think that number is probably give-or-take-a-thousand, but still, to see it roll over to seven digits was kinda mind blowing.

Thank you, for visiting, for stopping by, for reading whatever it is you’ve read here on Sugarbutch, for your comments and emails, for clicking through on the reviews or the affiliate links, for clicking through the advertisers, for coming back, for sharing these links with your friends or lovers or girlfriends or wives or boyfriends or mistresses or whomever you might send them to. Thanks for reading. Thanks for thinking about these things. Thank you.

So I’m doing a very special giveaway, thanks to Babeland: the Champion DVD itself. All you gotta do is leave a comment (with a valid email address) and give me one piece of feedback about Sugarbutch, either something you like or something you don’t like or something you wish I did more often or something you miss that I used to do or something I’ve never done or a question you have or a comment about the process or how you found this site or ANYTHING.

I’ll pick ONE single winner at random on Monday morning.

Winners! Two Blowfish DVDs

Aaaaaand the winners of the The Crash Pad Series Volume 4
#47 – Birdie: The Barcelona Sex Project

Y’all are some kinky readers, damn! I mean I knew that already, but I loved hearing about your summers. Thanks for sharing what you did, or want to do, or wished you’d done.

Congrats to the winners! I’ll get in touch via email and request your addresses for shipping.

Blowfish Giveaway: Two DVDs

Blowfish is simply “good products for great sex,” and they are the producers of some of the best queer porn and experimental sexuality DVDs currently available. They want to start doing more giveaways through Sugarbutch … so here’s your chance to win something awesome!

I’ve reviewed both Crash Pad Series Volume 4 and The Barcelona Sex Project here on Sugarbutch, and they are both very much worth watching. I go back to the Crash Pad Series especially quite often.

I’ll select TWO different folks at random on Tuesday September 1st to win one or the other of these DVDs. To enter, leave a comment on this post, and tell me some awesome sexy thing you did this summer, or plan to do this summer, or wish you would’ve done this summer. Easy enough, right?

Thanks, Blowfish!

Giveaway: the Grip boy toy

As of 2/8/16 This product is no longer available at Babeland

I know there’s been a lack of long, smutty, or gender posts lately – I’ve got some deadlines and some events that have been keeping me busy lately. Follow me on twitter for daily snippets, if you want, and I promise I’ll tell you all about the rope and spreader bar and blow jobs and other fantastic dirty things I’ve been doing with Kristen as we keep falling for each other, just as soon as I have a little more time to clear my head and write again.

gripWell – now that you’ve seen my extensive review of how boys like me can jack off with the Fleshlight, I’ve got one more jack off toy to share with you: The Grip.

Unfortunately, this toy was a bust. I got it from Babeland because it was a) silicone – say it with me, kids: sterilizable! and b) made by Vixen Creations, ah be still my heart. I love that company.

It’s 4-3/4″ x 2″, but: it’s a sleeve, which means it’s got holes at both ends, and doesn’t create any suction whatsoever. It was so apparent that this wouldn’t work for my particular, uh, cock needs, that I didn’t even take it out of the packaging.

So I’ve got this poor lil Grip sitting around, all sad & lonely. And that’s where YOU come in – would you like to give this toy a new home?

Leave a comment and I’ll pick one number at random. Just tell me one thing about how you masturbate, I dont’ care what it is, something like: What’s the most interesting place you ever masturbated? Or tell me something about masturbating, or tell me … something else entirely. May was National Masturbation Month, after all, we may as well honor that (even if it is already June).

I’ll pick a winner on Monday morning, you’ve got all weekend to add your name to the pool by leaving a comment.

Winners! FYN cases giveaway

In addition to four small condom cases and one foot long, I also have two five-inchers. Here are the winners, drawn at random:


sizematter_condoms

Four (black) Size Does Matter Condom Cases

8 – Mr. Smith
11 – Bucking Bill
34 – CG
16 – Alisha

5incher

Two (brown) Five Inchers

37 – Kelly
2 – Amber

10incher
And the winner of the single red Foot-long

30 – Jacket’s Girl

Congrats! I’ve emailed you all individually also; please email me your mailing addresses so I can get them out to you. If you’d like a copy of the Sugarbutch Star Chapbook along with your FYN case (no pressure! but if I’m putting something in the mail for you anyway, it’s an easy addition) they’re $10.

I’ve got two more giveaways in the next few weeks; check back to see what they’ll be.

ALSO!

The talented designer of the For Your Nymphomation cases, Vera, left a special note on the comment thread:

If you are not lucky enough to win a case offered in this contest, you can shop our online store and enter coupon code “SINCLAIR” at checkout until Aug 31 to save 10% off your online purchase!

And for additional savings, our Rolling Toy Trunk is on sale for only $199.99 until the end of June! Hurry- it goes back up to full price $319.99 at the end of this month!

If you’ve ever wanted some of these cases (and it sounds like some of you could seriously use a toybox or two), now’s a great time to do it! Thanks Vera.

For Your Nymphomation sex toy cases giveaway

For Your Nymphomation makes “private storage for your pleasurables,” faux leather cases with water-resistant nylon lining, which is easily wiped clean with mild soap and a damp cloth. All the bags have quality locks, which means your private toys (or documents, or manuscript, or whatever!) stay private.

Vera, the lovely owner and designer of FYN, gave me some cases to show off and give away.

10inchersizematter_condoms

I’ve got one cherry red ten-incher (10″ wide x 2.5″ high x 2.5″ deep) to give away, and several smaller size-does-matter condom cases (2.75″ wide x 2.75″ high x 1.25 ” deep).

Want one? Leave a comment here with one of the following answers:

What do you keep your toys in?
or
If you could have any of the For Your Nymphomation cases, which one would you pick?

I’ll randomly pick the winners (based on comment number) on Friday morning. If you are outside of the US I might ask you to throw a couple bucks my way for shipping costs, but please don’t let that stop you from entering!

Birthday calendar giveaway!


Perhaps you remember that I was Mr. August in the New York City Sexbloggers 2009 Calendar which came out last year. Indeed there is some incriminating evidence of me spanking a particular lusty lady in order to get a perfectly pink handprint on her ass. I was packing. I wore black & white wingtips. All the pinups looked incredibly hot, the heels … oh, the heels at that photoshoot, gah. Amazing.

 
Outtakes of me from the photoshoot by Stacie Joy

Have I tempted you enough with the Calendar yet? You want to win it, right? Well, for my birthday, the producer of the calendar, Tess, is letting me give away some calendars, just for fun. But don’t worry – if you don’t win, you can always mosey on over to http://sexbloggercalendar.wordpress.com and  buy yourself a calendar – all the proceeds go to Sex Work Awareness, which is having its first day-long seminar Speak Up! Media Skills for the Empowered Sex Worker in New York City this month.

But! If you’d like to win one of my fancy-schmancy [meaning: signed with the famous silver pen] birthday calendars, leave a comment in this thread. It can be anything – I’ll choose the winners at random – but if you’d like to leave me a blessing for my 30s, put in a request for some sort of hot dirty kinky queer sex act that you’ve never seen me write about, or tell me your favorite birthday song (I’m partial to the John McCutcheon one myself), that would be lovely. Fuck it, there have been waaaay too many birthday wishes posts already here – just leave your name & email address at the beep. Mmkay? Merci!


Photo taken by Norman Blake at the calendar release party

And thank you, for all the birthday wishes so far. There are many more fabulous shoe photos in the queue to be published this week – it’s not too late to send one in, if you feel so inspired.

Femmethology Giveaway …. Winner!

Aaaaand the envelope please:

The winner is …. Miss Ida! Comment #3.

Congrats! You’ll receive a signed copy of Visible: A Femmethology Volume Two, which includes my essay Love Letter to Femmes, as well as another book of your choice. What’ll it be, hmmm? Visible: A Femmethology Volume One? Best Lesbian Erotica 2009? Secret Slaves: Erotic Stories of Bondage (The Fetish Chest)?

Let us know!

The two Crash Pad memberships go to …

#5, Becky
and
#22, Bettina!

Thanks, everybody, for commenting and starting this discussion about our favorite porn stars. I know it was a completely informal poll, but I may make up a list from it so we who are very unfamiliar with queer porn can do a bit more, ahem, “research” …

You can always head over to Hot Movies For Her and download 20 minutes of hot queer porn — that’s 10 extra minutes than you usually get when opening a new account at HMFH. I don’t know how much longer that special link will last, so get in there while ya can!

Also: still two more give-aways to come (and then NO MORE for a long time): sex toy cases from For Your Nymphomation, and a gift basket from Come Together.

Two Crash Pad Series Website Memberships – For You!

Oh, Crash Pad. Oh, Shine Louise Houston. How do I love thee, let me count the ways.

… What’s that? You’re not familiar with the original Crash Pad DVD, or the subsequent THREE DVDs of episodes compiled from the Crash Pad Series website? If only someone would give away a membership for the lonely, cold month of January!

Oh hey! That’s exactly what I’m going to do!

The Crash Pad is the hottest porn I’ve ever seen. Hands down.

I mean, I’m not actually an expert on visual porn – when I came out about ten years ago, I started renting lesbian porn and was incredibly disappointed (with perhaps the exception of some s.i.r. productions films, like Hard Love/How to Fuck in High Heels and Sugar High Glitter City), and I kind of lost interest in the genre.

Well … until it became increasingly obvious that dyke-made-dyke-porn-for-dykes was booming, and butch/femme queer porn was, uh, the hottest thing I’d ever seen. In my wildest dreams I hadn’t fathomed someone could videotape something so goddamn hot.

Uh, yeah.

(I’ll be in my bunk.)

Ahem.

The fabulous folks over at Pink & White (thanks to a suggestion from Jiz Lee) have offered up two Level Two (video!) membership to the Crash Pad Series website for the month of January for me to give away.

Whatcho gotta do:

Leave a comment answering who is your favorite porn star and why? If you don’t have a favorite star, make it your favorite porn film. If you don’t have a favorite porn film, well – you really need to win this contest! Leave a comment anyway.

Two winners will be chosen randomly on Thursday morning, 18 December.

Special extra minutes for you from Hot Movies For Her

Uh, did you see the photo in that ad? It comes from one of their films, Post Apocalyptic Cowgirls, and no I am not kidding.

Fabulous reviewer for HMFH, Ms. Debauchery, describes it thus:

Ever since I was first given the heads up about this latest Bleu Productions movie, I’ve been super excited to check it out. Two tattooed, gritty post apocalyptic cowgirls dressed in leather, boots and bad attitudes cross paths on the Arizona highway and fuck wildly in the empty desert.

Uh, for reals? Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and this year, that would be me, the man with the bag: thanks to Hot Movies For Her, Sugarbutch is passing on 20 minutes of anything you’d like over at HMFH where you can watch Post Apocalyptic Cowgirls, Good Dyke Porn, Turn Me Up Over & On, any number of flicks with trans man Buck Angel, Sappho’s Girls #1 … Hot Movies For Her really does have a great selection. Check out their new queer films section too – not just lezzzbian, but queer! Awesome.

Here’s the deal: sign up for an account through this link and it’ll give you twenty minutes FREE. You do have to enter your credit card information (to verify your age), but you do not have to give up anything else.

Post Apocalyptic Cowgirls isn’t your boyfriend’s lesbo porn film, though, beware.

I might not recommend this hardcore lesbo flick to someone looking for a soft focus lens and romantic tribbing, but for all us down and dirty dykes, I say this one is for you!

Check, please. No more talking over dinner, no more making eyes across the table: I’m taking this one home with me.

So … what’d you download? Any good recommendations?

and the winner is …

The envelope please:

Thanks to the random number generator, the winner of the DVD of Good Dyke Porn is … samantha!

Bevin Branlandingham, fabulous host of the FemmeCast: Queer Fat Femme’s Podcast Guide to Life, came up with the idea of asking y’all what your 2009 sex goals were, and as all the responses (54 of them!) came in, she and I kept talking about how increasingly moved we were. “I was overwhelmed at their commitment to visualizing and actualizing their sexual goals,” Bevin just chatted to me. “The first step to good sex is to know what you want, or at least know what you want to try. Then to communicate that.”

And she wanted to throw in a little extra sumthin-sumthin: a fabulous comedy CD Almost Pretty by butch comic Kelli Dumham! Kelli is the Butch Dyke Comedian in Residence for the FemmeCast and performs all over the country.

Hope you enjoy them both, Samantha!

Samantha’s shared with us her Goals for 2009:

1.) Do NOT fuck any clingy/needy people. This is an absolute, and must be followed. More of a rule, actually.

2.) Fuck a girl that actually knows how to top. You might think this would be simple, but D.C. is severely lacking in the dykey, top department.

3.) Get restrained. I’ve done the whole multiple-uses-of-a-handcuff thing. Now im extremely interested in being tied up with rope, and being a complete submissive. Pushing the pain/pleasure bounds.

4.) Lastly, watching more porn….preferably with a partner. I normally don’t watch porn, nor do I own any….this is where this whole video thing would come in handy Mr. Sexsmith ;)

Damn good goals, if you ask me.

Samantha, I hope you very much enjoy the Good Dyke Porn and the fun dyke comedy. If you feel like writing up a paragraph of your review of it, I’m sure other Sugarbutch visitors would love to know how you find it!

December is now unofficially the give-away month, and I’ve got a few more things for y’all in the next few weeks. Hey, it’s a dark time of year, we need a little extra lovin’! Keep an eye out for locking sex toy cases from For Your Nymphomation, two subscriptions to the Crash Pad Series website, minutes for video-on-demand downloads at Hot Movies for Her, and Come Together Gift Baskets!

L Word Box Set Winners!

Okay folks:

#4 denise
#13 bzzzzgrrrl
#14 Emilie
#27 Miss Avarice
#29, Bevin
#37 Blythe
#63 MsF
#69 Ari
#80 s.c.
#84 jh

You are now the proud owner of the L Word Season 5 Box Set. Email me – aspiringstud (at) gmail.com – your address and I will send it out to you sometime in the next two weeks. If you’re outside of the US, let me know and I’ll figure out how much it’s going to cost to get it to you.

Congrats!