Posts Tagged ‘femme conference’
August’s masthead is up. Late, I know. I’ve got some more elaborate ideas for photos that I really want to feature, which go with particular quotes, so I kept putting off updating the masthead thinking that I’ll actually take those photos, but now it’s been a week and I just dug through some old shots. This one was actually taken while I was in Mexico with Datedyke, and shows off the cufflinks Colleen gave me.
I’ve still go to finish “What happened in July,” too – that’s coming. This weekend, probably.
I was just this morning on my commute into the city thinking about my former relationship, the one I was in when I started Sugarbutch. We were together four years, and over the last two we had sex five times. Seriously, I started counting. And I, well, I have a little bit of a sex drive.
So one of the reasons I started writing erotica was to have a release for all the sexual energy and frustration I was feeling. And to continue my writing practice, in general. Go figure, there’s actually a lot of craft that goes in to writing erotica – character, dialogue, rise & fall of action.
I used to always get stuck at the part where the characters are having sex, going all hot & heavy, and then they’re just about ready to orgasm and have the whole scene end. I’d get so stuck there. Finally, Jesse James and I were talking one day, and she said, “well yeah, of course that’s the hard part, because you never really know how somebody comes until they do it, do ya?”
Reminds me of that scene in Amelie where she thinks “How many couples are having an orgasm right now?” And there’s a great montage of climaxes.
[Can anybody find that clip on Youtube?] Here’s the clip (thanks Sun! I couldn’t access youtube from work). Each one is different.
I’ve been working on finishing this Sugarbutch Star chapbook lately, I’m getting it ready to be handed out at the Femme Conference next weekend, and I’ve also been thinking about how this used to be a major goal of mine – writing smut to get people off. Specifically, to get lesbians off. Even more specifically, to get lesbians to go fuck their girlfriends and to talk to their girlfriends about sex and to get more of what they actually want out of their sex lives. Sometimes I think Lesbian Bed Death perpetuates the prudish idea that women can – or want to – transcend those silly sexual relations and have some sort of deep, meaningful emotional connection, that that’s all that “really” matters.
Well duh, deep connection is important, but sex is important too. I gues that’s one of the differences between male & female sexualities, though, is that for women it does actually seem to be a case of “use it or loose it,” where the more we have sex, the more we want to have sex – as opposed to men, who while many have fluxuations in their sex drive, still tend to have sex drives independently of however much sex they are or aren’t having. I’m sure this isn’t true for all men or all women, but it tends to be true in many cases. (Y’all know of any sources on this? I’ve looked for articles but haven’t located any yet.)
What I’m trying to say is:
1. Still, one of the highest compliments folks can pay me about my smut writing is that they had to go get off after reading it, but also, that it made them want to go play with their partner or girlfriend or random first date or stranger or whomever. I love getting those emails or comments, thank you for that. Let’s make lesbians in future generations ask, “what is this ‘lesbian bed death’? Lesbians didn’t like having sex? They weren’t the most highly sexual creatures on the planet? I don’t get it!”
and 2 … Got ideas for stories you’ve always wanted me to write? The Sugarbutch Star contest is launching again. More details to come.
The Femme Conference is next week! August really came on me fast, I can’t believe the summer’s almost over. Wait, let me rephrase – I can’t wait for summer to be over, I can’t stand the heat. I grew up in Alaska, remember? What am I doing in New York City anyway? Oh yeah, the sexy femmes. Alright, I can stand summer a little longer.
Ahem, I digress.
The Femme Conference! Muse & I are heading out to Chicago for the weekend. Here’s what’s up:
- Who’s going? Will you be there?
- I was hoping I might perform some poetry or read some smut somewhere, but I haven’t been able to make that happen. I will, however, have hot-off-the-presses copies of the Sugarbutch Star chapbook from last year’s finalists, and hopefully some Sugarbutch star buttons too.
- I have been thinking about doing some sort of Sugarbutch meet-up – anybody interested in that? Let me know, email me or leave a comment & I’ll get in touch when I have more details, I don’t know when or where it’ll be yet.
- So far, I’ve raised enough money for a plane ticket (hurrah!) and about half of the hotel costs, though just this weekend I realized I haven’t actually bought my ticket to the conference yet. So, if you woke up this morning, pulled on your pants or your flowy summery skirt, stuck your hands in the pockets, and pulled out a couple hundred dollar bills and thought, huh, I wonder where those came from, perhaps you can consider donating a couple bucks to me to send me to the Femme Conference. I’ll be reporting on what I learn, and try my best to bring back some new ideas about this big ol’ gender galaxy we’re trying to make sense of.
I am so very grateful to all of you who have donated already, it’s made a huge difference in my ability to afford this trip. If you’ve got it, and are able to support me, you can make a donation via paypal and keep me and this site alive & thriving.
See you in Chicago?