Posts Tagged ‘character study’
This is all I'm doing right now: studying how to be in relationships. Yeah, I go to work, I design bar charts and pie graphs and match colors and fonts. I work on this website and my other projects like Queer Eye Candy. I spend time with my roommate and my sister and my friends and the girl I am courting. But under it all, I am learning. I am studying.Read More
I have never - and probably would never - describe myself as "insecure." I consider myself to have pretty healthy self-confidence and self-awareness, I'm pretty strong in my beliefs and who I am. At least, that's what I've always thought.Read More
We split up; we ended things a little more than two weeks ago.
It’s more complicated than that, but I’m not going to go into it here, for a few reasons. She could be reading, she knows I run this place, so I won’t be writing things here that I wouldn’t say – or haven’t already said – to her directly.
I respect Penny; I think she’s wonderful and there were many great things about dating her. This is probably the most sane breakup I’ve had in years, and I’m grateful to her for that – likewise, it was probably the most sane relationship (and, duh, as you know, some of the best sex, too).
I’m working through unraveling my understanding of what’s happened, my responsibility, my part in things. This ending – this whole relationship interaction – has shed some new light on my own ongoing story, pulled on old wounds, brought up some new ideas, and I am spending time exploring them, writing about them privately. I do miss having this place as a space in which to do that, because a lot of you readers have been following my relationship adventures for the last two years, and a lot of you know a whole lot about where I’ve come from, how things have been for me, what I struggle with, and my conversations with readers via comments are often very illuminating.
My understanding (so far) is that we wanted different things from each other and out of a relationship. It does feel like a loss, I’m sad about losing the things that were beautiful. But sometimes it’s just not a match, I guess.