I didn’t mention it two weeks ago, when Penny and I had our last date, but we broke my cock that day. My infamous Silky/Mr. Bendy (named differently depending on where you buy it), my very favorite cock - because you can pack with it, and play with it, and it actually works - unfortunately, that’s incredibly rare in the world of cocks.
This was the blue one that Penny broke - uh, I mean, that Penny and I broke, together - and it’s the third one I’ve broken. (Remember broken, breaking? That was the second. The first time I broke it, with Callie, I wrote that up, too, but I can’t find the link.)
Unfortunately, that’s just one of the things about Silky’s reality - it doesn’t last.
But? It’s in stock. And the one I reordered as a replacement came tonight. Man, they sure all nice all new and hard, spine all bendy and supple. Mmm, this weekend’s date with Penny is going to be fabulous.
If you want a black one, order it now - who knows how long it’ll stick around!
Crossdressing: Erotic Stories
Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
“Some people might call this a fantasy, but it’s my deepest truth.” - from “Temporary” by Tulsa Brown
Cleis is famous for their smart, sexy smut, and Rachel Kramer Bussel’s pansexual anthologies are quickly becoming a huge part of not only my personal smut library, but also most smut collections at bookstores - the girl is constantly producing anthologies full of interesting, new, and complicated stories that turn the reader on - sure, of course they do that, and damn, do they do that - but they do more than that: they’re edgy, intellecutal, and affirming.
Crossdressing is one of those anthologies.
It’s no secret that I have a bit of a gender fetish. I find the polarized categories of male-and-female fascinating, and I find it all the more enthralling and interesting to adopt the roles for sexual play.
The stories in this book do just that, in more ways than I could’ve imagined: a gold-star dyke wondering what it’d be like to be with a man, so her girlfriend surprises her in drag with a realistic cock packed underneath slender slacks. A girl who dresses her boyfriend up in drag, shaving his legs and sharing her clothes. A butch in a vintage evening-gown shop, who strikes a deal with the owner for a beautiful Marlene Deitrich tuxedo and eagerly shows it off on the town. A trans woman performer who ends up in the arms of a macho kitchen worker after a night of singing. A man at a business meeting secretly running the show by the power of his silky bra and panties underneath.
If you pick up this book strictly for stories to get you off, it might not quite be what you expect - specifically because of the pansexual array. Most folks I know don’t get turned on by just any depiction of gender or crossdressing, for example, and your particular orientation might get in the way of you enjoying many of these stories - I, for example, am not so turned on by the stories of male crossdressing, girls dressing up their boyfriends in drag, etc. But I loved reading those stories anyway, from a gender perspective.
Reading through these stories makes me think about my own experiences with crossdressing, though I don’t call it that - I call it part of my gender identity. It’s a wide range, of experiences and orentations and gender expression, and it’s interesting to read some other ways that people play with gender, play with costuming and clothing and all sorts of ways of expression.
Gender play is still unusual, and can be deeply empowering, and deeply threatening to those who don’t understand it. Violence against trans folks often comes under the guise of the “deception” of someone’s “real” gender, and violence against queers.
But, at it’s core, gender experimentation and presentation is all about connecting with and displaying aspects of our selves which are deeply personal and very real - it’s about being able to display a more accurate sense of self, a more comfortable way of moving through the world.
And we all want to be able to do that, right?
Maybe it sounds idealistic, but anthologies like Crossdressing actually make us genderqueer folks feel connected, and a little less alone. The complicated gender discussions are clearly part of the smut, of course - but they are also hidden under the guise of simply turning-you-on or getting-you-off, which, I hope, will prompt all the more folks to pick up this book, and perhaps widen their range of understanding about dressing up and playing with gender, in all sorts of ways.
Chapbook containing all of the Sugarbutch Star stories
Last but not least … a night on the town with me, should you chose to accept it, when you visit this ol’ city next … rest assured, there will be dinner and debauchery.
Shannon’s story The Photo Shoot was the second favorite, and I’ve got a few little things for her, too …
Copy of Switch Hitters, a book of smut stories where gay men write lesbian erotica and lesbians write gay male erotica - one of my personal favorite collections
I don’t like memes, but I like books. Here’s the meme instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book (that is at least 123 pages long).
2. Open to p. 123.
3. Go down to the 5th sentence.
4. Type in the following 3 sentences.
5. Tag five people.
With one hand on the bike’s gleaming gold gas tank, Nick asked, “How’d you get to work, Chi-Chi?”
“I caught a cab. The car belonged to my ex. I got the apartment, she got the jalopy.” She threw one long leg over the seat of the bike and leaned forward, her elbows on the handlebars. Her open coat showed her cleavage above her unbuttoned shirt, her nipples at attention in the night air.
“You’re gonna take me for a ride on this big old thing, aren’t you?”
(More than 3 sentences, I know.) BLE ‘98 is one of my very favorite of the BLE anthologies, although mostly it is for two specific stories - this one, Ridin’ Bitch, and Clash of the Titans by Karlyn Lotney. They are two of the first butch/femme strap-on smut stories I ever read, and they definitely formed my internal sexualized gender psychic landscape.
Aside from that, Clash of the Titans is one of the best written smut stories I’ve ever read. The characters, the pacing, the multiple scenes of sex and power play. I can probably quote most of it by heart, I’ve read it so many times.
Consider yourself tagged, if you’d like to try this out.
I’ve been to many of these Body Electric workshops for women over the past 8 years or so, and I can’t recommend them highly enough. They’re terrifying, and life-changing, and amazing. I recommended last year’s CBE here and wrote about some of my revelations and experiences after the workshop as well.Two workshops for were just announced for the 2008 schedule. Highly, highly recommended, I can’t say that enough.
Safe, playful and profound workshops for women of all ages and sexual orientations
Taught by two very gifted teachers
Celebrating the Body Erotic for Women
March 29-30, NYC, Sat-Sunday 9am-7pm
with Isa Magdalena
(back teaching at Body Electric after many years)
• Feel comfortable in your body
• Improve your body image and self-esteem
• Expand awareness, sensation and pleasure through conscious breath,
movement, touch, and communication
• Release fear, shame and old patterns that hold you back
• Communicate your desires and boundaries more clearly
• Learn to give and receive without losing yourself
• Explore the power of sexual energy / ibido / life force / kundalini
• Learn from your own and others’ experience
• Enjoy sex more
• Have more fun
Isa Magdalena was the first woman teacher at Body Electric (1993-98). She teaches sexological bodywork at the Institute of Advanced Studies of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, is author of Libido: Where Sex, Science Spirit Meet (2006). Isa is featured in several sex education videos from the New School of Erotic Touch, is a practitioner and leads classes in Taos, New Mexico. For fuller information, visit www.xtasia.info
*
first time in many years!
Power, Surrender and Intimacy for Women
June 20-22, NYC, Friday 7-10pm, Sat-Sunday 9am-7pm
with Alex Jade
* Learn BDSM techniques and develop skills
* Discover and clarify issues of empowerment and liberation
* Recognize how you engage in power dynamics in your everyday life and exercise more conscious choice
* Heighten awareness of your body’s capacity for sensation
* Explore power and sensation games for fun and healing
* Experience the joy of surrender and trust
Presequisite for this workshop is Celebrating the Body Erotic
Alex Jade has been a leading teacher at Body Electric for a decade and has developed several courses for the School. She is a gender-fluid sex activist, community organizer, shadow explorer and body-based therapist living in Seattle. She uses her training as a massage therapist, movement therapist and masters degree in social work to teach experiential sexual education classes and has a private healing practice.
Both Isa and Alex are profiled in Reclaiming Eros, Suzanne Blackburn and Margaret Wade, editors (2007).
Tuition: $395 per workshop. Recent CBE grads receive $50 discount on repeat workshops. Register with minimum $100 deposit. Full tuition is due three weeks before start of workshops. Contact Debi Soler, NYC coordinator, 212-726-0679, passionjustice@gmail.com
I got a replacement copy of The Leather Daddy and the Femme and read the first few chapters on the subway. The writing is smooth, eager, tumbling. So hot. I have more to say about this
I stopped at Babeland and picked up primarily supplies - gloves, condoms, lube. Both by bucket of boy butter and my bottle of lube broke recently, the containers actually shattered. I also bought a softie sock and a leather cockring that fits around my wrist, which I like wearing as a bracelet. I played with the cocks (ohh, Vixskin) and whips and leather floggers and harnesses, looked curiously at the new bendy beads and that cone thing that is getting notice.
I attended the reading for Best Lesbian Erotica 2008 and listened to sexy erotica read aloud. Words formed in mouths in a roomful of people.
What on earth was I thinking?
This was all entirely too much sex. Overstimulated, oversexed, I could think about nothing but getting off, which she had asked me - ordered me - not to do.
I went home and paced. Bit my lips. Walked briskly from room to room but with no recollection of my intention. Preoccupied with a glimpse in my mind of her, boots, heels, standing tall, looking up at her, she’s looking down at me, the way her voice breaks with a timber of callousness.
My body hummed, vibrated.
Everything was sex. The higher functions of my brain have been overridden by the animalistic urges, the desire to be fucked, give over, get off.
I tried to watch tv. Tried to do some freelance design work, to write some overdue articles. I continued to find myself staring into space, glassy-eyed.
I dropped to the floor. Began with push-ups, then sit-ups. Ten and ten. Ten more, then ten more. Crunches, then all the way up, until I was groaning and the muscles in my stomach were screaming and taught, breathing heavy, body tense begging for release.
Begging.
I beat my face to the floor until my arms couldn’t hold me up anymore, until I was panting.
When I collapsed, and my dick twitched against the hardwood. My hips wanted to buck against anything, everything. Thrusting and I put my hand there, just for some friction, some traction, and pressed my forehead to the floor, grinding against my palm through my jeans.
Too much, too much.
I could feel my clit through my jeans. Hard and slick already, eager against my hands and I let my hips wander, find rhythm, thighs clasping hard.
I couldn’t stop myself. I feared I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.
I stopped, throbbing, thrusting, frustrated. Beat the floor with my fist.
Twenty-four hours until the layover. I can make it.
Well, it’s Saturday morning, and I am partaking in my recent Saturday morning ritual, which includes listening to Dan Savage’s Podcast of his sex advice column “Savage Love” while doing some cleaning.I just gotta plug it for a minute here. Dan is fucken rad. Gay guy, he & his boyfriend of thirteen years have a kid together, he’s out of Seattle and has been doing this Savage Love advice column for a long time - ten years? More? Not sure exactly. He is also occasionally offensive, misogynistic, trans- and bi- and lesbian-insulting - so don’t go into it expecting some PC kindness. Today, he said, for example, to a lesbian: “when you have your arm up her pussy, or when you’re pressing her face into your pussy, or whatever it is you lesbians do in bed, I’ve never been able to figure it out … ” (come on, Dan, really? You can’t figure out what lesbians do in bed? Go watch The Crash Pad or the Crash Pad Series or Sugar High Glitter City or Coming Home or ANYTHING from the lesbian category over on Blowfish and figure it out) and then he went on to discuss Patrick Califia, though made comments about the trendiness of lesbians becoming FtMs (”but I’m not going to go there, because I don’t want my house burned down” … um, you already said it) and proceeded to refer to Patrick with female pronouns - while recommending his books, which I also recommend: Doing it for Daddy and Macho Sluts.
And on the podcast, a lesbian called in asking for some advice about dirty talk in bed, and said that her girlfriend liked to be called humiliating names - and the example she gave? Are you ready for this?
“Cunt-hungry cum dumpster.”
I shit you not. That is amazing. I mean I really don’t think that would turn me on, but hey, YKIOK (your kink is okay … another Dan Savage acronym, like GGG, that I picked up years ago), and I have to admire the boldness and the turn of language that it involves! Wow.
In other news, if you didn’t catch the political (sex) role play video that was going around, check that out too. I’d embedd the youtube version, but it cuts off the last line, and that line is really worth it.
This is a call for donations for Scarleteen.If your values align with Scarleteen’s, and if you are willing and able to keep this necessary resource afloat, please consider helping any way you can.
Scarleteen is a labor of love: a site dedicated to providing teens with accurate, supportive information about all aspects of sex and sexuality. As all of you know, I bet, because you have al searched for sex ed info online (what is the first thing for which new technology is used, for example? porn), it is actually quite difficult to find accurate and supportive information on sex, especially for teens. Scarleteen is a major resource, and so important.
And they are struggling immensely.
Heather Corrina, the founder, editor, & designer, works immeasurable hours on this labor of love, and it shows. Her heart & soul are in this project. Hell, I might go so far as to say she was born to do this. She is not exactly a close friend of mine - in fact, I’ve never met her - but I have followed her work online for many years: her writing, her photography, her activism. I have such admiration for her work and dedication, and for this project.
If this doesn’t appeal to the do-gooder in you, perhaps I can use sex appeal?
Any way you can, Scarleteen needs support. Please help keep this invaluable educational hub thriving, and help support healthy, consciencious sex & sexuality information for teens & young adults.
Get your hands on S.E.X.: the in-depth and inclusive young adult sexuality guide by Heather Corinna! Covering everything from STIs to sexual orientation, body image to birth control, masturbation to misogyny, the anatomy of the clitoris to considering cohabitation, and written for you whether you’re male, female or genderqueer; straight, gay or somewhere in between, this is THE everything-you-need, comprehensive, progressive sexuality handbook to get you through high school and college.
This ends your public service announcement; we now return you to your regularly scheduled Sugarbutch Chronicles.
My favorite part of last night was the way she said please. Please, please, like a whisper, or a prayer.At the bar, she told me was disappointed I hadn’t emailed her back.
“Ah,” I said. I didn’t have a good excuse. But when I discovered she’d be at this party I made note, and made sure to be there.
“I kind of want to go talk to her,” I told my friend, who I’d arrived with.
“Do it, chickenshit,” she said, “just go do it, no big deal … ” and proceeded to say something else supportive, made to boost me up, but I got distracted: she walked up to me, put her hand on my arm, and said, “Sorry to interrupt …” Oh no, no problem. We were only talking about how I should go talk to you, anyway.
I told her I’d Googled her after we met. She was embarrassed. She had Googled me as well, made a reference to the video of my spoken word she’d found.
I told her I’d been up to my knees in gender theory this week, trying to uncover and then articulate the reasons why butch and femme were subversive. I asked if she identified as femme - I would put her in that vague category, red strappy sandles, silver hoop earrings, but I know some people hate being categorized.
“I suppose I look femme,” she said, “but I don’t think I really act femme, and I certainly don’t fuck like a femme.”
We got interrupted, but I wanted to ask her what she meant. Or rather, I didn’t want her to tell me, I wanted to find out. I took it to mean that she’s not a “pillow queen,” which most would say derogatorily when referencing a femme in the bedroom. And that is a moment where butch/femme is operating under the assumption as a reproduction of the heteronormative paradigm, and not necessarily a re-visioning of the compulsory gender hierarchy.
And this also reminds me of another point I haven’t yet discussed during this gender conversation - what I believe gender is and what kind of role it should play in my life. (More on both of these soon. There’s so much to say and explore about gender.)
Another friend of hers said she wasn’t so into gender. “I hate it when it takes girls like three hours to get ready,” she said. “I’d rather spend two and a half hours enjoying your company, and half an hour getting ready.”
“I can get that,” I said, “but I also want to acknowledge how much fucking effort it takes to be femme. It isn’t just roll-outta-bed, tussle-the-hair-with-product like it is for us” - I indicated myself and the friend - “it takes a lot more work. And I gatta say, I love what that work creates. It’s an art form, a creative expression. And, not to sound egotistical, but I also kind of see it as for me, something to get my attention, get me going, and I love that - love that I’m worth that effort.”
“Plus,” I added, “I can enjoy her company while she’s getting ready, can’t I?”
Clearly, this was the foreplay.
“So,” she said later, after we’d been sharing life stories, still drinking pints at the bar, “when are you going to kiss me?”
Then my hand on her cheek. Soft lips, and oh she tasted fantastic.
I felt oh so rude, having pretty much completely ditched my very good friend and a gaggle of other queer girls (some of whom I knew, and others of which seemed fantastic! I wanted to meet them, hand out, socialize! So easily distracted by the hot girl … ), but I didn’t let that stop me, and we took a cab to my house.
We were both tipsy. She looked at my bookcases, went through my iTunes (Animaniacs, Gretchen Wilson, Dolly Parton, Garrison Starr … and I discovered that my sexmix is seriously outdated. Seriously. I should’ve just put on Morphine. It was laughable, honestly). And then we were naked, in my bed.
“Lube?” she asked.
“I’ll get it … ”
“No, let me. Where?”
“In the toolbox, under the bed.”
“The toolbox. Of course.”
I leaned over to pull it out. She fisted me easily, though it was too much to sustain for very long. But oh it is sometimes so lovely to be filled, stretched.
Later, fingers not enough, I said: “Can I get my cock out yet?”
“Oh god yes. Please.” That please again. The way she whispers it. Makes my stomach contract as if punched.
I like the way she moved. The way her body curved, the way she wasn’t shy but would put herself where she wanted to be. I would probably call her more of a top, though we didn’t discuss those identities. And it made me realize - or perhaps remember - that I don’t really surrender well. My impulse is to take, to overpower, to do the throw-down. I have a harder time as the one being thrown down. Not sure why. There are certainly times that I can let go, give in, get fucked - but honestly, if I hadn’t made her come yet, I feel distracted by the want of that, the desire to do so.
Given the option of me getting off and not her, or her getting off and not me, I would be much more satisfied with the latter. I get such satisfaction out of making girls come.
It was hard to get her off. “We’ve learned a valuable lesson about alcohol,” she said. “Four beers is too many?” I asked. “Four beers was what it took for me to ask you to take me home,” she answered, “so it was necessary.”
[Another tangent: I actually find that I rarely get off - or get her off - the first time I’m with a girl. There’s a learning curve to discovering her body and what she likes. Which is yet another reason why I’m not so good at one-night stands, I like to build that understanding, that communication, between our bodies.]
Pillow talk consisted of our favorite books. The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russel, Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, and Crush by Richard Siken, I said. I talked about sci-fi and fantasy, her genres. What I liked and disliked. She said she had one in particular I needed to read. This means I just may see her again.
I walked her to the subway at two am to wait with her because I knew it’d be a while before the train came. As we walked, I switched sides with her so her heels wouldn’t get caught in the sidewalk subway grate, and it was a beautiful little gender dance, gender connection, my brief protection of the ways she presents her sexuality and desire through her gender.
I really love those moments. Gender is such a sex toy.
I'm Sinclair Sexsmith, a chivalrous kinky writer, queer butch top, and feminist sex educator in New York City.
Turn ons: femme girls, strappy sandals, fishnets & garter belts, accessories in general (belts, glasses, bags, shoes), submission, blow jobs, intellectual curiosity, packing, avocados, dark chocolate, accoustic folk music, literary & gender theory, whiskey, the perfect pen. Turn offs: chick lit, pop music, cheap beer, apathy, complacency, chewing gum, fingernails, celebreality.
Sugarbutch Chronicles is a personal writing exploration of sex, gender, and relationships, and attempts to celebrate queer theory, sexuality, gender, and culture in ways that are expansive rather than restrictive, liberating rather than limiting. Read more ...
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Sinclair Elsewhere
Eden Fantasys: I write sex toy reviews, primarily cocks & harnesses, and occasionally "fantasies" that detail stories including particular sex toys. Take a look at my profile with links to all my writings.
The Lesbian Lifestyle: a group blog with various voices from the lesbian communities; I write here occasionally. Check out my author profile for all of my contributions.
I didn’t mention it two weeks ago, when Penny and I had our last date, but we broke my cock that day. My infamous Silky/Mr. Bendy (named differently depending on where you buy it), my very favorite cock - because you can pack with it, and play with it, and it actually works - unfortunately, that’s incredibly rare in the world of cocks.
While we’re on the subject of things you should order while they’re in stock, take note of Bear Bergman’s book Butch is a Noun, published by the fantastic Suspect Thoughts - it’s gone into a second printing after being out of stock for a long time. I’ve got plenty to say about this book, I’m very fond of it - remember the video of Bear reading the opening chapter a few months ago? Snag a copy while you can.
With one hand on the bike’s gleaming gold gas tank, Nick asked, “How’d you get to work, Chi-Chi?”
