onward & upward, gender explorers!

Lots of great comments on Tuesday’s post about my own frustrations with the discussions on this site – I’m replying to the comments in the thread, too, with more information, so read the comments if you’d like to know more about my thoughts around this issue. You can also subscribe to the Sugarbutch Chronicles RSS comments feed (but that’s really just for the hardcore fans).

I’d like to say two quick things about it, then I’ll move on to more random miscellany:

1. Thank you, thank you, thank you. That post was not meant as a request for praise, of course, it was just an update on where I’m at and what I’ve been going through – but I appreciate the praise, and I appreciate the clarifications about what this site and these discussions have meant for you.

2. I’ve mentioned that I’m implimenting some changes in how this site works, but don’t worry, I’m not planning on changing it drastically. If you have particular suggestions about what you’d love to see more of, what your favorite parts have been, what you hate, I’d love to hear that as I go forward. Really, though, the biggest change will probably not be on the published-side of things at all – it’ll just be in my own psychic process toward the site, and hopefully, in my own boundaries about frustration and internalizing criticism.

2a. I’d particularly like to grow the SSU category here on Sugarbutch – “Sinclair Sexsmith University,” the custom sex, gender, and relationships “program” with 101-level articles and information. I’m not sure exactly how to begin building that, but I’m working on it.

A little bit more housekeeping, random things to mention & file under colophon:


Help! Michelle – you emailed me that great article & I have a long response to send you, but your email keeps getting bounced back. Email me again from a different address, so I can send some thoughts back to you?


I just found out that sugarbutch has a livejournal syndication. If you use LJ, you can add Sugarbutch as a friend & keep up with me that way.


bzzzgrrrrl emailed me to let me know she’d nominated Sugarbutch for a BlogHer Hero award. She says, “You won’t get it, I’m afraid. The official rules prohibit material that is “inappropriate, indecent, obscene,” etc., and who knows what that means, but I bet Sugarbutch Chronicles qualifies.” Ah, she’s probably right – but I’m still really flattered, thank you for the nomination.

She sent me a very flattering, humbling blurb that she included with her nomination, and I’m reprinting it here with my thanks & gratitude:

Sugarbutch Chronicles changes lives — mine, at least. Sinclair writes frankly, openly, and playfully about gender. My generation of feminists just Didn’t Talk Like That: Transfolk made us uncomfortable. People who deliberately declared themselves “butch” or “femme” but weren’t trans made us more uncomfortable. Sinclair is as sexy as she is smart, and she opens dialogue for and between her readers that inspire us all. Since reading her, I’ve had better sex, better conversations, better jumping-off points for challenging my own ideas. SBC isn’t the only blog about queer theory or gender theory, but it’s the best I’ve found.

I’m attempting not to blush, and instead practicing my “thank you”s with all this praise recently – instead of deflecting I’m just trying to accept. I’m really glad that some – any – of my own thought processes, approaches, and philosophies are useful to others, and I’m extremely grateful to all the comments, emails, questions, and folks out there with blogs & books & further writings who are exploring these topics.

It’s a nice community we’ve got goin’ on here. My gender conversations are a lot less lonely than it used to be, thank you for that.

lesbian lifestyle finalist!

Sugarbutch Chronicles is a finalist for the Lesbian Blog of the Year Award from The Lesbian Lifestyle! Thanks so much to all of you who nominated me. There’s one more step in this process, which is to VOTE HERE for your choice.

Voting started yesterday, and I’m currently in last place, so I’ve got some catching up to do!

I’m really grateful SBC is getting some “lesbian blog” attention – I’ve been in the sexblog circles for a while now, but it’s been harder to break into the lesiban blog circles. It’s still very edgy to talk about sex so directly, so while I occasinally get a link or a mention or a comment from a lesbian (non-sex) blogger, I still feel like I’m the blog that someone points to and giggles and shyly reads in the middle of the night in the dark by laptoplight.

One of the goals of this blog, too, is to encourage lesbian sex & sexuality in ALL its various forms and manifestations, to spark conversations about gender and kink and power and sex in whatever ways might feel good to you and your lover. I’ve joked that my tagline should be “combating lesbian bed death!” and I still see that as one of my underlying missions of writing smut at all.

I always, always appreciate any feedback and discussion and conversation – that’s the best part of it, really, is sparking dialogue and opening up communication about pleasure and love and sex and smut and kink and play and sexy girls and all that great stuff!

So thank you, for the small moment of recognition – I really appreciate being a finalist, and I am in such fine company! Dorothy Surrenders and Lesbian Dad I read every day and really enjoy.

Lesbian Dad is so well written, and I just love the photos of her kiddos. Read Baba: a name I call myself as an introduction to how she came up with the mama-papa hybrid name for the “other mother”, the “non-biological” lesbian mom.

And how much do I love Ms. Snarker? Let me count the ways: the sassy L-word commentary, the Tina Fey Tuesdays (especially: What? Sexy? You are. Shut up.), andĀ crushing on Jodie Foster … I have more of an appreciation of the heteroflexible gals in celebreality after reading this blog, I gotta tell you.

I haven’t been reading This Girl Called Automatic Win and Hahn at Home, but I’ve added them to my reader and will be starting to read them as well.

Last year, my buddy Curly McDimple won TLL Blog of the Year Award, and damn, her place is pretty great too. She’s kind of busy honeymooning with a particular hot poet as of late, but I still run into her for drinks on occasion.

Here’s a list of all the Finalists:
This Girl Called Automatic Win
Hahn at Home
Dorothy Surrenders
Lesbian Dad
Sugarbutch Chronicles

And, what else can I say? Cast your vote until March 3rd.

TLL finalist

there’s just not enough smut out there

So apparently this TLL Blog of the Year award is more complicated than just a nomination. Here’s how it works:

– Readers nominate their favorite blogs
– The top 5 nominees become the finalists
– Readers then vote on the finalists to determine the Blog of the Year

If you’d be so kind as to vote for Sugarbutch, I would appreciate it. Let’s get some smut & sex writing into the lesbian online writing communities, shall we? I mean, personal blogs about our cats and girlfriends and jobs are all well & good, some of my very favorite blogs in fact.

But there’s just not enough smut.

Nominations close February 15th, you can nominate one blog per day. Curly McDimple won last year … we’re all in really good company.

Add a comment here to nominate Sugarbutch!

TLL award

female bloggers who rock

The lovely Ms. Sexcakes has tagged me in a meme, which actually I think is my first one. The theme is, female bloggers who rock.So, I’ve been thinking about this, going through the lists of the female bloggers that I read, making a list of the blogs I read daily, the blogs I wouldn’t want to be without, and then I started thinking about the sex blogs I love, and the queer women who I read and identify with. And, strangely enough, nearly all of those are separate lists, with very little overlap.

So my question is, where the hell are all the dyke sex blogs?

Yes, I know there are plenty of sex blogs out there where women write about having sex with women, but very few of them are explicitly queer, and also include discussions of queer identity and/or culture.

And, dammit (damnit), I’d like to find these blogs. If you know of any, let me know?

… And now we return you to your regularly scheduled meme.

  • bird on the wire: a collage blog of personal musings, music, and art, with photographs, occasional Simpsons hilarity (“Should we kiss to break the tension?”), and healing heartbreak. Also, she just happens to be my best friend. So of course she gets top billing.
  • Flying Truth: Dylan was one of the first readers here at Sugarbutch who commented regularly and continuted to contribute to my own thought processes, discussions, and revelations, and I really appreciate how much she keeps the conversations going. Her own blog is a collection of personal musings, from Harry Potter to her puppies to butch/femme identities and relationships.
  • Madeline in the Mirror: one of my first sexblog crushes, cause she’s so freakin articulate, and sexy, and bold. She doesn’t update as often as I (and many of her fans) would like, but when she does it’s always worth it. Also visit her at Mad Words.
  • Lusty Lady by Rachel Kramer Bussel. ‘Cause she’s always got something to say, usually either sexy, insightful, intelligent, or just about some sort of fantastic cupcake. Seems like the sex blog/sex writing world in New York City is centered around six-degrees-of-RKB. She’s quite the staple in this community, and she blogs frequently, regularly, and brilliantly. Also because she’s smokin’ hot.
  • Waking Vixen by Audacia Ray. Dacia is not only a blogger, editor, and sex worker these days, but also a published author and a porn director. I especially like how her explorations and musings are a window into the fascinating subculture of porn and sex work.
  • And one to grow on, ’cause I can’t leave her out: Viviane’s Sex Carnival is another staple in the sex blogging community, always insightful & interesting.