I love talking to people about my thoughts and my writing, and blogging is an excellent format to foster conversation. So I welcome comments, debate, questions, and inquiries! However, I have a comment policy that I adhere to, and if you are in violation of this guideline I will remove your comments.
I read every single comment I receive. (Most of the spam, too, just in case a comment gets lost in there.) Thank you for commenting. Thank you for reading.
I do my best to reply to comments, especially when they ask questions. But honestly, my inboxes overflow, and I can’t get to everything. If you want a reply, ask a relatively short question! That’ll be easier for me to complete.
The first time you post a comment on Sugarbutch, it is sent to “moderation.” Once I read it and approve it, your next comments will be published immediately and won’t be moderated. (This is primarily to prevent spam, which can be a serious comment problem).
The only reason your comment would not be approved is if it was a) spam, or b) mean.
I absolutely think you should express your opinion, but I don’t have any obligation to publish it on my site. If your comment is insulting, belligerent, or bullying to me or to folks involved with this blog, I will delete your comment.
No anonymous comments are allowed. You must leave a valid email address in order to comment. If your email address is very obviously fake (like “firstname.lastname@example.org”) then I will delete your comment.
The email address that you use to comment is used for me to potentially follow up with you outside of the comment thread if I have particular things to ask you or offer. It will not be: a) published online, next to or separately from your comment b) used in any other way by me (like added to my mailing list).
I don’t expect everyone to agree with what I write. You can disagree. You can flat-out say you disagree. You can ask me questions if you don’t understand what I’m writing about. I only ask that you follow this guideline when you are posting your comments: Don’t be mean. Whether or not your comment is mean is determined by me, because you are commenting on my site.
If your comments are off-topic, sometimes I will request that you email me if you want to continue that conversation.
You retain ownership of your comments. I do not own them and I expressly disclaim any and all liability that may result from them. By commenting on my site, you agree that you retain all ownership rights in what you post here and that you will relieve me from any and all liability that may result from those postings.
You grant me a license to post your comments. This license is worldwide, irrevocable, non-exclusive, and royalty-free. You grant me the right to store, use, transmit, display, publish, reproduce, and distribute your comments in any format, including but not limited to a blog, in a book, a video, or presentation.
In short, my goal is to foster and encourage interesting conversations with caring, honest, and respectful people. I hope these policies about commenting will facilitate this.
Password Protected Posts
I password protect personal writings on Sugarbutch so that if someone stumbles upon my site (my mom, my third grade teacher, an ex) they won’t necessarily have easy access to the juicy personal stuff. The personal stuff is often much less thought out, is true in the moment but may not be true forever, and is about feelings and my private life. This has been a personal blog for a long time, and I know many readers really like the insight into their own lives that my constant self-reflection sparks.
However, putting my very personal life and tender spots on the internet is often incredibly vulnerable, and makes my ugly moments subject to scrutiny. That sucks.
So in order to help myself feel more secure in that process, I have put most of the journal entries under a password.
I see it as a trade. You want to read the more detailed, personal things about my life? Then you trade me with a tiny bit of access to your life through joining my mailing list.
Please don’t share the password with others. If they want it, they too can sign up for the mailing list and have their very own password.
If you comment on the password protected posts, I expect you to use the same email under which you are signed up on the mailing list. I expect you to talk to me as if you came over to my house and I offered you a beer and we’re chatting on the couch. If you don’t like it, you may absolutely leave.
I will delete comments that are mean in the personal posts. Keep it positive, share your story, and talk about what I wrote, but it is not a place for political or social debate. It’s my private room.
I’ve been an affiliate of many companies over the years, and I love reviewing toys and keeping up with products. However, I am moving away from the affiliate models I’ve held in the past. I will be featuring fewer products here in the traditional “review post” way, and will be looking to do some new things with my affiliations.
Content & Trigger Warnings
I write explicitly about feminism, gender, sex, kink, BDSM, fantasies, and power dynamics. Sometimes I write explicitly about abuse, grief, or trauma. These topics all have thousands of pieces of content that can be potentially “triggering” to your own stuff.
I can’t keep you safe from all your stuff ever, but I can warn you against reading some of the more explicit things. If the writing contains any of the following things, I will add a warning to the beginning of the post, and I will put the piece behind a “More” tag so it won’t appear in the blog feed.
1. Force, consensual non-consent, or rape play
2. Knives, cutting, blood play
3. Breath and face play (like face slapping or punching)
4. “Incest” play, or stories with Daddy/boy or Daddy/girl
Please note: I would love to go back and put warnings on past blog entries, but until I can hire an assistant, that’s not going to happen. I’ve been trying to add warnings to my more explicit writings for years, but am committing to it going forward. This applies primarily to entries from 2013 and beyond.
Let me be clear: I make money through the content that I freely share on this blog and I want to comply with the FTC Ruling for Bloggers. A few things of note:
Every piece of content has a financial impact.
Every piece of content may be used to promote products, services, and affiliate businesses.
I retain the right to provide sponsored advertising and endorse cool stuff.