Hey! I’m Sinclair. This is Sugarbutch.

I’m a feminist dominant, identity theorist, strap-on expert, and poet.
Sugarbutch is my personal online writing project.

Here you will find writings from my personal and professional musings since 2006.

This site chronicles my process of leaving a “bed death” relationship, coming to a butch top identity; dating femmes and the butch/femme culture; coming in to my own cock confidence; evolving into a deeper dominance and increasing interest in power dynamics; spirit, energy, and embodiment; teaching and traveling to facilitate workshops; and, since 2013, settling in San Francisco Bay Area’s Oakland.

Sugarbutch is my full-time job. I write here on Sugarbutch, elsewhere online, and sometimes my stories and essays are in books, I travel in the spring and fall to teach workshops all over the US, and I meet one-on-one with people to help them through their own sexuality experiments and gender puzzles.

I like the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself when referring to me in the third person.

Want to know some more about me?

 

Here’s some recent writing to get you started.

Dirty Stories

From the Dirty Faggot Archives: Sexting

Protected: From the Dirty Faggot Archives: Sexting

Content warning: Dirty queer faggoty genderqueer trans sex, including lots of Daddy and boy references, some vague force and coercion,... more

Leather: A Dirty Story in Photos

Leather: A Dirty Story in Photos

A few weeks ago, photographer Shilo McCabe came over to take some shots of rife and me in our "natural... more

I need you to take a little more for me.

I need you to take a little more for me.

Content warning: This story contains bondage and Daddy/boy language, with some language around force and ownership. Read it at your... more

Essays

Things I, as a white sex educator, do to foster inclusivity in this community

Things I, as a white sex educator, do to foster inclusivity in this community

On Facebook recently, Mollena asked: "White ‪#‎SexualityEducators‬: what are you doing to actively foster inclusivity? Diversify your audience? Support your... more

Long Live the Butch: Leslie Feinberg & the Trans Day of Remembrance

Long Live the Butch: Leslie Feinberg & the Trans Day of Remembrance

I sit in shock at my desk, though I knew it was coming, knew Leslie Feinberg was sick, and know... more

The Four Topping Stages

The Four Topping Stages

hen I started topping, I was self-conscious, nervous, easily crushed, and full of bravado and swagger. (I'd like to think... more

Questions from readers, answered by me

10 Tips for Tops

10 Tips for Tops

here are many styles of dominance, mastery, and topping, from the paternal to the viciously mean, but regardless of where... more

Dear Tops: Say Thank You

Dear Tops: Say Thank You

Dear tops, When someone corrects your technique while fucking, set your ego aside and say thank you. Thanks for telling me. Thanks... more

Is psychological kink play

Is psychological kink play “healthy”?

Recently, I've noticed quite a few questions—both in the Submissive Playground course and in the Ask Me Anything box—concerning kink,... more

Most recent

Things I, as a white sex educator, do to foster inclusivity in this community

Things I, as a white sex educator, do to foster inclusivity in this community

On Facebook recently, Mollena asked: "White ‪#‎SexualityEducators‬: what are you doing to actively foster inclusivity? Diversify your audience? Support your... more

Vortex Poem, Or: What I learned these last 15 years of studying embodiment

Vortex Poem, Or: What I learned these last 15 years of studying embodiment

Most of the time, my body has the answer. My own body, this vessel, this corporeal flesh with pulses and... more

10 Tips for Tops

10 Tips for Tops

here are many styles of dominance, mastery, and topping, from the paternal to the viciously mean, but regardless of where... more