Here’s the information about my workshops! In addition to touring around and teaching at colleges, I run online ecourses about power dynamics, Submissive Playground and Mastering Dominance, and I collaborate with the erotic embodiment group Body Trust.

Want to book me for a workshop, lecture, event, or performance? Contact Shelly at OUTmedia. OUTmedia is driven by mission over profit and is the nation’s foremost speaking agency representing LGBT and ally speakers and artists. Contact Shelly at [email protected].

[email protected]

Upcoming Events

02/24/16West Hollywood, CAThe Pleasure ChestUnited States
Time: 6:00pm. Address: 7733 Santa Monica Blvd. Cock Confidence! Details TBA
Tour: Body Trust
03/19/16 - 03/20/16Oakland, CATantra & SM: Wicked Equinox Year Wheel WorkshopUnited States
Time: 10:00am. Equinox is a time when the distance between the daytime and nighttime comes into balance. As we gather, we can experience the shift from dormancy and the resting time of the winter to the emergence of spring.The Equinox allows for an exploration of states of consciousness, going from the ordinary to the non-ordinary, playing with the dreamtime and the waking states. Throughout the weekend we will use meditation, guided experiential exercises and intentions to deepen our awareness.Wicked? … We will use many forms of sensation, bondage, submission, and dominance to experiment in the terrain of shadow and consciousness. This may be wicked, playful, pleasurable, and a tool for healing.Together, using tools of BDSM, the principles of tantra, and the potency of the equinox, we will generate a circle to be used for healing and change.Join us in a circle of experienced erotic explorers wishing to celebrate the emergence of spring. It is time to plant seeds of creation.Details:Tuition: Pond $375-450, Lake $450, Ocean $475-595 (you decide)Registration Dates: Open now until March 6th.To Register: Fill out the form at We’ll be in touch soon after for a conversation about next steps.Open to all genders, all sexual orientations; participants should have previous experience with Body Trust or equivalent. Workshop meets Sat & Sun 9am-5pm Space is limited to 12-15 participants. Questions? Email [email protected] Buy Tickets
03/26/16 - 03/27/16Saratoga Springs, CAM/s RetreatUnited States
Time: 6:00pm. Private event
05/21/16 - 05/22/16San Francisco, CATouch and Power: A Weekend with Betty Martin & Sinclair SexsmithUnited States
Time: 6:00pm. Learn about desire, consent, and the dynamics of giving and receiving; then take that awareness into the realms of power exchange.Saturday: Learning to Touch, with Betty Martin Learn how to notice what it is you want, why it matters, when to bring it forward and when to set it aside. Feel the difference between receiving a gift and giving one, and what they have to do with touch, and what they don’t. And fall in love with both of them – completely and equally.Sunday: Playing with Power, with Sinclair SexsmithTake what you have just learned about desire, consent and the dynamics of receiving and giving, and now expand it to play in the realm of power and power exchange. We take the skills and dynamics, and dive in a little deeper into this fascinating, fun and potentially erotic playground.For beginners in this realm, this is the perfect way to gain a solid footing of awareness and skills. For experienced players, discover what the 4 Quadrants have to teach you that clarify your dynamics and let you go even deeper.You may take either class or both. Buy Tickets
Tour: Body Trust
07/20/16 - 07/24/16Albuquerque, NMPortals of PleasureUnited States
Time: 10:00am. Annual advanced deep temple retreat for women & genderqueers, through Body Trust. Limited to 15 participants. More details at Buy Tickets
09/01/16 - 09/04/16Northern MarylandDark OdysseyUnited States
Time: 6:00pm. Summer Fest!

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All past events since 2010

What workshops do I teach?

  • Fucking with Gender (most requested!)
  • Genderqueer for Real Life
  • Identities in a Label-Free World
  • Gay for Pay: Queer Careers
  • The Sexual Politics of Topping
  • Queer Erotics: Spoken Word Performance & Writing Workshop

Fucking with Gender

Sinclair’s most popular class. Presented at Drew University (NJ), Brown University (RI), Northwestern University (Chicago), Smith College (Northampton, MA), Swarthmore College (Philadelphia), Harvard University (Cambridge), and more.

Gender can be an aphrodisiac. Let’s explore gender expression, identities, labels, transcending the mutually exclusive binaries, queer culture, and hot sweaty sex. Academics love deconstructing gender—and yet, the world is still gendered, so how do we navigate it? How do you build your gender intentionally? Are there ways gender can “hurt” less? And how do you develop your gender in ways that enhance and sustain a satisfying sex life? (‘Cause really, don’t we all want better sex?)

Developed explicitly to cover the praxis of gender studies that is left out of gender degrees, this is for students who want to put their theory into practice. This workshop covers Sinclair’s Best Sex Secrets, Gender Tenets, and more.

Genderqueer for Real Life

“Genderqueer” is a noun, label, and identity, sure—but it’s also a subset of skills and awarenesses that queers can harness and use as tools for liberation. In insular communities like radical college campuses or small queer groups, it’s possible to create and have our genderqueer identities validated. But when we get out into the “real world,” it’s often totally different. In this workshop, we’ll dive into pronoun usage, coming out as genderqueer to friends, family, and institutions, navigating legal forms, arguing with the reality of the gender binary system, and day to day microagressions (like groups of AFAB genderqueer folks being called “ladies” in every restaurant cafe ever). Everyone can queer up the gender binary system—let’s use it for liberation, elevating intersectional activism, and deep acceptance of ourselves and others.

Identities in a Label-Free World

“But I’m so much more than just one thing!” “Labels are for jars.” “I’m just me, you know?” “I like people, not genders.”

Do you hear folks struggling with labeling their own identities? Either out-right rejecting the idea of labels, or using one but qualifying it extensively? So do I, and there are a lot of real reasons to resist labels. We are so much more than one thing! But what part of identity creation and theories are valuable as we understand the ways that our marginalizations and privileges move through and fit in the world? We’ll discuss what the difference is between labels and identities, and pose the radical idea that words can be liberating and not just limiting.

Gay for Pay: Queer Careers

No, this isn’t about sex work, nor is it about landing the 6-figure executive position at a gay rights non-profit. This workshop focuses on tools of confidence and authenticity to help you see a path to your dream job, and help you start making advances toward the job now, while you’re a student. Is your gayness going to be a benefit or a deficit when you enter the workforce and start getting jobs? How do you out yourself? Should you put “Rainbow Alliance” on your resume? You have an amazing gift to contribute to the world beyond these college campus hedge walls—what is it?

Premium option: Add small group (7 people max) 1-hour breakout sessions for individualized guidance for students from Sinclair, or up to 10 individual coaching sessions to sculpt the path into your ultimately successful future. Contact Sinclair for pricing tiers.

The Sexual Politics of Topping

Presented at IvyQ at Yale University We all have some ideas about what it means to be a top or a masochist, but what does it mean to be a responsible dominant or an empowered submissive? And why do we assume that submissives are unempowered, anyway? “Fifty Shades of Grey” is on everybody’s night stand, but the politics of that book are terrifying to those of us practicing ethical, conscious BDSM. Yet power dynamics and rough sex can be fulfilling, healing, and even (no kidding!) deeply feminist. What’s it like to engage with topping from a place of theory? What’s the combination of intersectional institutional power theory and sexual power dynamics? In this workshop we’ll explore how consent and agency are key issues in feminism, and how they work in the exploration of topping. We’ll discuss different kinds of topping and bottoming, as well as theories to enhance your personal topping and bottoming skills.

Queer Erotics: Writing Workshop & Spoken Word Performance

2-hour interactive writing workshop where participants practice writing through prompts, share work, and receive writing and performance feedback. Perfect as a joint event with the spoken word club or English department! Performance includes a 30 minute set of erotica, poetry, spoken word, essays, and radical queer politics titled “Do Not Speak the Truth So Loudly,” and a 45 minute open mic for the workshop participants (and other students, if there is room), hosted by Mr. Sexsmith.

I will continue to do talk about custom workshop requests, and I’ve got a Big List of All The Workshops I’ve Offered in case there was this one workshop that caught your eye but you can’t remember what it was and it’s not on this new list.

Here’s the PDF for this year’s workshops (which you can download here if you prefer):

Want to get in touch? Of course you do!

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