Archive for essays

On Gender Perception, or: Break Your Eyes Open to Genderqueers

On Gender Perception, or: Break Your Eyes Open to Genderqueers

10/09/2014  |  13 Comments

For a little more than three years, I’ve been using they/them/theirs/themself pronouns. Notice that I’m avoiding saying that I “prefer”... more

The Ten Sugarbutch Cock Commandments

The Ten Sugarbutch Cock Commandments

09/26/2014  |  2 Comments

I’ve been teaching strap-on workshops for about six years now, and I’ve been strapping on for about fifteen. I also... more

Do rough sex fantasies compromise your sex-positive ethics?

Do rough sex fantasies compromise your sex-positive ethics?

09/11/2014  |  2 Comments

This new essay is also the introduction to my new book, Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut, available... more

Let’s Talk About Bleeding While Butch

Let’s Talk About Bleeding While Butch

08/31/2014  |  58 Comments

I have always had very heavy periods. Lots of blood, serious cramps that vary from keeping me flat on my... more

“I know I’m submissive. But where do I start?” aka “I just read Fifty Shades of Grey and I want THAT.”

06/26/2014  |  5 Comments

1. Read a fucking book Read fiction, sure—Carrie's Story, The Marketplace series, Mr. Benson, The Leather Daddy and the Femme (these are... more

What you should know about privacy, secret identities, and kink communities

What you should know about privacy, secret identities, and kink communities

06/24/2014  |  4 Comments

Welcome to the kink worlds of BDSM and reclaimed sluttiness and sex toys! I see you there in the wings,... more

To All the Tops Who Are Afraid to Make a Move

To All the Tops Who Are Afraid to Make a Move

02/25/2014  |  13 Comments

One of my biggest challenges as a top—and as a feminist dominant, and as someone who is well versed in... more

Is genderqueer (or butch) a stepping stone to transitioning?

Is genderqueer (or butch) a stepping stone to transitioning?

02/03/2014  |  14 Comments

It is definitely true that I don't have investment in being seen and treated as male, but I DO have... more

Resiliance and Rebuilding: 2013 in Books, Music, and Writings on Sugarbutch

Resiliance and Rebuilding: 2013 in Books, Music, and Writings on Sugarbutch

01/06/2014  |  10 Comments

Top Writings on Sugarbutch from 2013 In order, from most read to least, these are the writings on Sugarbutch from 2013.... more

The Great Reader Mini-Interview, Part Seven: The Journey, Smut, and Black Tee Shirts

The Great Reader Mini-Interview, Part Seven: The Journey, Smut, and Black Tee Shirts

12/28/2013  |  No Comments

What's your relationship with sugarbutch.net and Sinclair? What advice would you give your younger self about sex, gender, or relationships? What one... more