Archive for essays

Queer Masculinity in Porn: Heavenly Spire, Stepfather's Secret, & More

Queer Masculinity in Porn: Heavenly Spire, Stepfather’s Secret, & More

01/30/2015  |  1 Comment

Weekly, rife and I have a private little ritual on Saturday mornings where we make pancakes and watch porn. I'm... more

Submissive Fantasy vs Submissive Reality, A Guest Post from rife

Submissive Fantasy vs Submissive Reality, A Guest Post from rife

01/22/2015  |  12 Comments

Hi this is rife, Sinclair's boy. Maybe you've read dirty things about me, but that's not the whole story. So... more

I Want You to Thrive: How to Use the Submissive Playground

I Want You to Thrive: How to Use the Submissive Playground “Tracks”

01/16/2015  |  1 Comment

As a Dominant, my job is not to teach you how to submit—other submissives and your own inner wisdom holds... more

Turn Your Rough Fantasies into Responsible Reality

Turn Your Rough Fantasies into Responsible Reality

12/29/2014  |  No Comments

Everyone has them: Those rough fantasies that involve some sort of thing that you aren't sure you would ever actually... more

Things I, as a white sex educator, do to foster inclusivity in this community

Things I, as a white sex educator, do to foster inclusivity in this community

12/16/2014  |  8 Comments

On Facebook recently, Mollena asked: "White ‪#‎SexualityEducators‬: what are you doing to actively foster inclusivity? Diversify your audience? Support your... more

Long Live the Butch: Leslie Feinberg & the Trans Day of Remembrance

Long Live the Butch: Leslie Feinberg & the Trans Day of Remembrance

11/20/2014  |  6 Comments

I sit in shock at my desk, though I knew it was coming, knew Leslie Feinberg was sick, and know... more

The Four Topping Stages

The Four Topping Stages

10/30/2014  |  1 Comment

hen I started topping, I was self-conscious, nervous, easily crushed, and full of bravado and swagger. (I'd like to think... more

On Gender Perception, or: Break Your Eyes Open to Genderqueers

On Gender Perception, or: Break Your Eyes Open to Genderqueers

10/09/2014  |  16 Comments

For a little more than three years, I’ve been using they/them/theirs/themself pronouns. Notice that I’m avoiding saying that I “prefer”... more

The Ten Sugarbutch Cock Commandments

The Ten Sugarbutch Cock Commandments

09/26/2014  |  2 Comments

I’ve been teaching strap-on workshops for about six years now, and I’ve been strapping on for about fifteen. I also... more

Do rough sex fantasies compromise your sex-positive ethics?

Do rough sex fantasies compromise your sex-positive ethics?

09/11/2014  |  2 Comments

This new essay is also the introduction to my new book, Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut, available... more