Archive for essays

“I know I’m submissive. But where do I start?” aka “I just read Fifty Shades of Grey and I want THAT.”

06/26/2014  |  5 Comments

1. Read a fucking book Read fiction, sure—Carrie's Story, The Marketplace series, Mr. Benson, The Leather Daddy and the Femme (these are... more

What you should know about privacy, secret identities, and kink communities

What you should know about privacy, secret identities, and kink communities

06/24/2014  |  4 Comments

Welcome to the kink worlds of BDSM and reclaimed sluttiness and sex toys! I see you there in the wings,... more

To All the Tops Who Are Afraid to Make a Move

To All the Tops Who Are Afraid to Make a Move

02/25/2014  |  13 Comments

One of my biggest challenges as a top—and as a feminist dominant, and as someone who is well versed in... more

Is genderqueer (or butch) a stepping stone to transitioning?

Is genderqueer (or butch) a stepping stone to transitioning?

02/03/2014  |  14 Comments

It is definitely true that I don't have investment in being seen and treated as male, but I DO have... more

Resiliance and Rebuilding: 2013 in Books, Music, and Writings on Sugarbutch

Resiliance and Rebuilding: 2013 in Books, Music, and Writings on Sugarbutch

01/06/2014  |  10 Comments

Top Writings on Sugarbutch from 2013 In order, from most read to least, these are the writings on Sugarbutch from 2013.... more

The Great Reader Mini-Interview, Part Seven: The Journey, Smut, and Black Tee Shirts

The Great Reader Mini-Interview, Part Seven: The Journey, Smut, and Black Tee Shirts

12/28/2013  |  No Comments

What's your relationship with sugarbutch.net and Sinclair? What advice would you give your younger self about sex, gender, or relationships? What one... more

The Great Reader Mini-Interview of 2013, Part Six: Stay for the Smut

The Great Reader Mini-Interview of 2013, Part Six: Stay for the Smut

12/16/2013  |  2 Comments

Wow, you guys. Between launching Submissive Playground and helping rife with The Gender Book crowdfunding and planning and executing the... more

So what ARE the different kinds of s-types? And more about the s-type quiz

So what ARE the different kinds of s-types? And more about the s-type quiz

12/11/2013  |  5 Comments

So, the quiz! "What kind of s-type are you?" quiz, that rife + I co-created, was launched November 30th as... more

Why Lesbian Erotica is Valuable Activism

Why Lesbian Erotica is Valuable Activism

12/10/2013  |  2 Comments

I'm reading some erotica—along with Jen Cross, Carol Queen, Amy Butcher, Xan West, M'kali-Hashiki, Cheryl Dunye, BD Swain, & Jiz... more

How to Chomp: Erotic Biting for Pleasure & Pain

11/05/2013  |  15 Comments

"I'm surprised more people don't talk about biting. It's pretty practical - I think it should be a conscious part... more