Congratulations, New York

It’s a pleasure to live here while New York made gay marriage legal.

I don’t think gay marriage is the be-all end-all of the equality fight (uh, does anybody? Maybe I don’t have to clarify that here), but I do think it’s an important symbol.

I’ve actually been thinking a lot about marriage and weddings lately … blame Offbeat Bride for being awesome and Style Me Pretty for their one-in-100 amazing inspirations. And my couple’s therapist, who is starting to help me have a vision of how a relationship could really last. But, more about that another time.

Congratulations to all who are getting (legally) wed, and thanks, New York.

Photo by Mykelle on Flickr

I saw this photo first on Twitter and think it is just stunning. I’m not really one for rainbow imagery, but I do love dramatic water.

Call for Submissions: Erotica for Perversions of Lesbian Lust

I mentioned that I’ve been webmastering for Madison Young’s newest website, Perversions of Lesbian Lust, and we are looking for lesbian erotica to feature on BOTH the free preview site and in the member’s side.

Writing Submissions:

The Feminist Porn Network of Web sites is now accepting written Lesbian and Queer Erotica. Please email Madison Young at [email protected] with submissions for consideration.

PerversionsofLesbianLust.com – Pulp Lesbian and Queer Fiction Erotica Stories:

Each piece should be around 1000 words no more than 1500 words. $25 for each piece excepted. Looking for pieces from lesbian and queer identified writers.

Rights are non-exclusive; submissions are ongoing.

You can keep up with the new stuff on Madison Young’s Feminist Porn Network by following the new feministpornnetwork.tumblr.com.

The Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 Table of Contents

It’s official! Cleis has given the a-okay to the table of contents I chose for Best Lesbian Erotica 2012. I’m so pleased with how this turned out, many of my favorite smut writers submitted pieces, and according to Kathleen it features writers “from 8 US states and 5 international contributors, including 3 from Toronto.”

If you’re excited about it, the best thing you can do to support me at this point is to go pre-order it on Amazon! Can’t wait to share all these great pieces with you.

Here it is:

Best Lesbian Erotica 2012
Edited by Kathleen Warnock
Selected and Introduced by Sinclair Sexsmith

Touched, by Amy Butcher
Heartfirst, by Kiki DeLovely
Rebel Girl, by Kirsty Logan
Hush, by Treasure Sapphire
Blood Lust, by Giselle Renarde
The Produce Queen, by Michelle Brennan
Hot Yoga, by Anne Grip
Stubborn Ache, by Elena Shearin
Maid for You, by Deborah Castellano
The Last Time, by Dani M.
My Femme, by Evan Mora
How He Likes It, by Xan West
Vacation, by Ali Oh
Come to Me, by Ily Goyanes
On My Honor, by D.L. King
Fifties Waitress, by Julia Noel Goldman
Skindeep, by Anna Watson
Envy, by Lulu La Framboise
When You Call, by Sharon Wachsler
The Elevator Man, by Lea DeLaria
Neck Magic, by Nancy Irwin
Never Too Old, by DeJay

e[lust] #27 includes “Strapping On for the First Time”

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #28? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed and Twitter for updates and submission reminders.

This Week’s Top Three Posts

Ruby LOVES her body, so should YOU – What ever size you are, love yourself, be nice to yourself and concentrate on health instead of looks.

Performances So, of course, I don’t have any sensation in my cock, but holy baby Jeebus, sinking into her is so fucking hot that I groan right along with her.

10 reasons why I shouldn’t have had sex, but did anyway – I’ve written extensively about happy-sex; so now here are some of the more unpleasant reasons why I’ve had sex.

Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick)

Energy Orgasms – There is a moment, an incredible moment, when it feels like the universe is concentrated in my body.

e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable ~after this point~. Thank you, and enjoy!

Queering Power Dynamics Workshop in Seattle Tonight!

Hello! I am rushing around but I gotta tell you that I have a big workshop in Seattle tonight. Hope you might make it!

Date: July 7th, 2011
Time: 7:00pm – 9:30pm
Place: The Annex at the Wet Spot
Price: $20

Queering Power Dynamics

Top, bottom, switch, and everything in between: many of us like to explore what it’s like to give up or take power in our sex play. Some of us even like to play with psychological domination and submission. Add a gendered or age component, and the power distance index (PDI) increases. So what happens if we severely increase the power distance, through 24/7 role play or domination and submission? What happens when we incorporate identities like “Daddy” from the leather community? What could other age play roles of bigs and littles, Daddies and Mommies, boys and bois and girls and grrrls, have to offer us as we seek deeper and more fulfilling sex explorations? This advanced kink workshop explores power, gender, and age play in a queer context, where we’ll discuss bringing a power exchange relationship of any sort from the bedroom into a 24/7 lifestyle, what the benefits are for both, and how to go about navigating long term fulfillment for all parties within the relationship.

Hello From Vacation

Greetings from my hometown in Alaska!

Kristen and I have been here since the 2nd and are leaving tomorrow for some adventures in Seattle for a few more days before we head back east. It’s been a busy trip, my dad turned 60 and we’ve had quite a few memorable nights and wonderful meals with him. 

I have been having a fantastic time. I’ve been on Twitter a bit, sometimes sharing some photos from the trip, so you can follow me there while I’m away. I have a few more things to share with you, but meanwhile, here are a few shots of my hometown. 

Best Lesbian Erotica 2012, selected & introduced by Sinclair Sexsmith

I’m so excited to announce that I am the guest editor for Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 published by Cleis Press and edited by Kathleen Warnock—and here is the amazingly hot cover!

It is due out in December 2011 and it has a fantastic line-up of well-written, gender-smart, dirty, smutty, hot stories (which are very queer, not just lesbian).

I’m sure you’ll hear endlessly about this volume as we get closer to publication, but in the meantime the best thing you can do to support it is to pre-order it on Amazon as Amazon takes pre-order numbers very seriously, and depending on how many are pre-ordered they keep a certain number in stock, which helps for the success of the book tremendously.

I’ll be doing as much promotion as I can, hopefully with a virutal book tour and some copies available for review. If you have any other ideas how I can get the word out about this book and market and promote it, I’m open to brainstorming! What do you think? What would make you run out & buy it?

The Last Sideshow, July 12th

I’ve learned a lot over the last year and and a quarter of coproducing and cohosting Sideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival. I was seeking a place to regularly perform in New York City and combined with Cheryl’s reading series expertise, not to mention her own sparkling spoken word talents, Sideshow was born and bloomed.

It’s been an incredible experience. I loved each one.

The last few have been hard. When Cheryl was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma in November, we weren’t sure what would change. For a while, nothing did. Then she went into the hospital in April, and she spent three months there, missing the last three shows. They were hard—not just because it was a lot of work and effort, but also because she wasn’t there.

I can’t imagine doing Sideshow without her.

So July will be the last Sideshow. I’ve put the call out to all of those who were scheduled to read through the summer and fall, and if they can they are invited to read at the July event.

I don’t know if there will be more in the future. I do know I have edited an erotica anthology which comes out in the spring, so there will be events for that. I’ve learned a lot about event production, and I do want to continue doing readings, putting people together, bringing audiences to hear queers tell great stories. But I’m not sure I will be running another monthly reading series.

I loved doing Sideshow at the Phoenix. I love the seedy bar, I love that there are only bar stools and no actual folding chairs, I love that there are guys picking each other up in the background, I love the clink of glasses behind the bar, I love the seedyness. It’s different than reading in a bookstore or a queer arts performance space, and I like the differences. I will really miss having a place to read my work every month. I will really miss Cheryl, especially every time the second Tuesday rolls around.

Sideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival
Tuesday, July 12th
at The Phoenix
447 East 13th Street at Avenue A
Free sex toy giveaway, 8pm. Reading, 8:30pm
Free! (We’ll pass the hat for the readers)
RSVP on Facebook

For Cheryl

There are a few things coming up for Cheryl.

The Last Sideshow, Tuesday, July 12th, at the usual time and place (8pm, The Phoenix, East Village, NYC). Lineup TBA.

A Memorial for Cheryl B (Is For Beautiful): A Celebration of Her Life, Because This Death Stuff Sucks. Saturday, July 23rd, 3pm at Dixon Place, NYC

I still don’t know what to say.

Here are a couple videos of Cheryl reading her work. I have some clips of her from an event of mine a few years back that I want to convert and put on YouTube too, haven’t done that yet. Maybe this weekend.

Hope you can make it to Sideshow or the memorial.

Quick Things for Your Weekend

A couple notes from around the blog world that you may be interested in. Have a lovely weekend, all. More updates here are in progress.

BUTCH Voices Conference Requests Blog Links

BUTCH Voices folks are gearing up for the second bi-annual national conference in August, and they are looking to put a list of queer bloggers in their program, “open to all our Masculine of Center and Queer allies much like the conference“.

To have your blog listed, DM or @-reply their Twitter account, @BUTCHVoices with your linkand contact information and they will be in touch with you.

Madison Young Launches “Perversions of Lesbian Lust”

Madison Young has launched her newest addition to her Feminist Porn Network, Perversions of Lesbian Lust. I’m helping her with the structure of the site and having a lot of fun with it so far.

Here’s a shot from one of the first galleries, featuring Bettina Doll:

I suspect you’ll hear more from me about Perversions in the future.

Review of Boi Meets Girl on Amazon

I wrote a review of Boi Meets Girl: Brett & Melanie on Amazon for Tony Comstock & Comstock films. I caught a screening of that film at the LGBT Center a few months ago and it was fantastic, as was the Q&A with Tony after. I highly recommend it if you’re a queer porn collector. It’s real and fun and hot, and the interviews with Brett & Melanie are so familiar. It almost felt exposing, but I think that meant that it was incredible effective.

Taormino’s new anthology Take Me There: Transgender & Genderqueer Erotica

Tristan Taormino’s latest anthology has been announced, and this time it features transgender and genderqueer smut stories.

In mainstream media, the erotic identities, sex lives, and fantasies of transgender and genderqueer people are often oversimplified, sensationalized, or invisible. Take Me There is an erotica collection unlike any other that celebrates the pleasure, heat, and diversity of transgender and genderqueer sexualities. The power of seeing and being seen is a central theme in the anthology; it’s not simply about passing or not passing (an idea often explored with transgender characters), but about being acknowledged and desired in a sexual context.

The book takes you from San Francisco to Israel, from heartache to lust, from stranger sex to a 10 year anniversary, from ballet shoes to butt plug bondage tables, from fumbling teenagers to leatherclad bears, from MTF and FTM—and in between and beyond.

There is an incredible line-up of writers who have contributed to this anthology, including Kate Bornstein, S. Bear Bergman, Ivan Coyote, Patrick Califia, Julia Serano, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Toni Amato, and many more. I’m really thrilled to have one of my stories included in here. More details on the book are available on Tristan Taormino’s tumblr.

If you’d like to support this book, the best thing you can do is to pre-order it on Amazon. Amazon bases its in stock copies on the amount of pre-orders, so it would significantly help to make it widely available if you can spare the $11 on the pre-order copy.

Lesbian Sex Mafia kicks off Leather Pride Week with Laura Antoniou Tonight

At the LGBT Center, 8pm. She’s teaching Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want:

“Often, when we try to tell our partners what we like or want, those words are filtered through things like expectations, projection, fear, shame and verbal shortcuts. Play a little card game with Laura and push your flirting talents up a notch! Expand your creativity and verbal skills beyond “I like flogging” or “anything you want” through an interactive game and exercise. Learn how creative communication and courageous risk-taking can make your relationship and play more intimate, satisfying and fun. Say what you mean, and mean what you say – and make it seductive.”

Where: LGBT Center, 208 West 13th St. (7th/8th Ave)
When: Friday, June 17, 2011; 8:00-10:00PM (Leather Pride weekend)
Cost: $5/LSM members, $10/Non members

Laura Antoniou is the author of the well known Marketplace series of erotic novels. As a presenter, panelist, and keynote speaker, Laura has appeared at dozens of conferences over more than twenty years, both entertaining and delivering an occasional verbal indictment. She has also appeared at colleges and universities, including NYU, Rutgers, Columbia and the University of Washington. Laura lives in Queens, NY with her wife Karen, and happily serves as boy to Kim Attica. Friends have called her all sorts of names. Current favorites being “Renaissance Perv” by Midori, “Good Boy!” by Kim and of course, “best thing that ever happened to me” by Karen.

Tonight! Butch/Femme Pride at Sideshow

Don’t forget! Join us at Sideshow TONIGHT, June 14th, for our second PRIDE month celebration of butch and femme. Readers include Rachel Kahn, Alicia Greene, & Maggie Cee from Boston’s Femme Show, Susan Herr from DapperQ.com, and Grace Moon from Velvet Park Media.

Sideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival
Hosted by Cheryl B. & Sinclair Sexsmith
Tuesday, June 14th
at The Phoenix
447 East 13th Street at Avenue A
Doors, 7:30pm. Reading, 8pm
Free! (We’ll pass the hat for the readers)
RSVP on Facebook

What’s Going on in June

Oh, hello June, I almost didn’t see you there. I’ve been kind of out of it since the retreat, though I finally feel like this week I am actually catching up and getting ahead of my to do list. Finally.

So—June is pride month! And as such, there are thousands of things going on in New York City and elsewhere. Thankfully, most of them are NOT things that I am doing, and I am attempting to get my loose ends tied up such that I can take as much of the summer off as possible and do some serious writing.

Here’s the stuff you really should not miss.

Events with Mr. Sexsmith

Tuesday, June 14th, 8pmSideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival: Join us at Sideshow on June 14th for our second PRIDE month celebration of butch and femme. Readers include Rachel Kahn, Alicia Greene, & Maggie Cee from Boston’s Femme Show, Susan Herr from DapperQ.com, and Grace Moon from Velvet Park Media.! Details on QueerLiteraryCarnival.com, RSVP on Facebookat The Phoenix, 447 East 13th Street at Avenue A in New York City

Events in New York City You Shouldn’t Miss

Thursday, June , 8pmRed Umbrella Diaries, www.redumbrellaproject.comHappy Ending, 302 Broome Street between Forsyth and Eldridge, Manhattan, NY

Friday, June 17th, 8-10pmLesbian Sex Mafia presents: Tell me what you want, what you really, really want with Laura Antoniou, lesbiansexmafia.orgLGBT Center, 208 West 13th St. (7th/8th Ave) Manhattan, NY

Saturday, June 25th, 10pmSubmit Party, submitparty.com, a BDSM play party for women and trans folks onlyBrooklyn, NY. For exact location call 718.789.4053 or
email [email protected]

Queer Memoir is still on hiatus, and it looks like Ruckus might not be happening this month, but keep an eye out for their date if they announce it. is back! And happening on June 24th.

I’m also looking forward to the FREE NYU Queer Social Theory class this month, and the Sophisticated Agressive Gents meeting at the LGBT Center. If you need a pride kick-off I recommend the Dykes on Bike-Cycles party. The Lesbian Herstory Archives, located in Brooklyn, is having a book sale the same day as Brooklyn Pride, Saturday, June 11th, so that I must stop by and see. I’m sure I can find at least a dozen or so $1 books that I must adopt. There’s a cocktail party How Long Til My Soul Gets It Right: Benefiting Trans Women Belong Here, which is “an informal organization of past, present, and future attendees of the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival (MWMF) who are taking active steps towards welcoming all woman-identified women to the festival.” This event will benefit their scholarship fund. And there’s Folsom Street East on June 19th!

I am also really stoked that Kristen’s and my Community Supported Agriculture share is starting this month. And … if you promise not to make fun of me, I’ll tell you that I have tickets to see The Monkees in concert on June 16th. People seem to have mixed reactions to my coming out as a Monkee fan, which I am … we had all the good episodes from the MTV marathons in the ’80s on VHS and my sisters and I would watch them over and over. In fact, my sister and her boyfriend are coming with me & Kristen to the show. I’m really excited. I have quite a few tracks on my “if I ever do drag” playlist, and She is at the top of that list. I always liked Mickey best.

My favorite pride event, thus far, aside from Sideshow’s epic Butch/Femme Pride, was hanging out in the air conditioning, drinking my perfected white wine sangria recipe and ordering take-out. I hope to replicate that this year.

Also! I am now booking fall events for colleges and traveling nationally. I’ll be working at home and writing through June, and then doing more travel in July, August, and September, including some travels to Seattle in early July, the Butch Voices national conference in Oakland in August, and Dark Odyssey Summer Camp in September. My schedule is kept up on mrsexsmith.com/appearances if you want to see if I’m coming your way.

Last but not least, here’s my 2011 workshop offerings in a PDF so it is easy to download, you can also download my one sheet PDF or high res photos in my press kit). Get in touch if you’re interested in booking me, you can contact me directly—mrsexsmith(at)gmail—or my booking company, PhinLi, at bookings(at)phinli.com.

“You’re Into That?” and Another Photo of Me

Somehow in May I had two beautiful photographs of me, both taken by professional photographers, published. And in case you aren’t following me in the regular social media places, or by my RSS feed on mrsexsmith.com, I figured I’d share ’em here.

Photo by Bil Wadman, ontakingphotos.com

The first is by Bill Wadman who first took my photo for 365Portraits.com in 2007. (I wasn’t ‘out’ as Sinclair then so I kept it under my other name.) A few weeks ago, he tweeted that he was bored and wanted to take portraits, and I replied, how about me? And it was on. He came over and we chatted about what I was planning to do that weekend, which was to attend a BDSM erotic energy retreat. He paused a second: “You’re into that?” Me: “Yep. In fact, I have some good equipment if you’d like to see it …” and out came my flogger. After he saw my new (since his last shot of me, anyway) tattoo, the shot soon made itself.

Speaking of the tattoo: many people have asked me what it is. It’s a ruler, it measures 6″, and if you measure from the flat palm of my hand, it measures 8″. There are numerous meanings to it (as with all the best tattoos, don’t you think?): I’m a graphic designer, for one. I’ll always have 6″ with me (ha ha) and I can measure high heels a lot easier this way. I can now measure how far into you I can reach. I’ve been thinking about this tattoo for a while, since I saw a photo of someone who had one on Flickr years ago, but the thing that made me go and do it was taking the Buddhist Refuge Vow in spring 2010. During the meditations, it came to me that this path, the Buddhist path, is actually incredibly linear, and has been walked hundreds of thousands of times for thousands of years. Considering that so, so much of my life is about forging my own path, making my own direction, this felt so incredibly comforting and I knew it was time to get the tattoo.

Photo by Yi Ching Lin, www.yichinglin.com

This next shot was for the DapperQ He Said/We Said May edition, the shoot for which happened in April, with photos by Yi Ching Lin. I was there with four other models, all of whom were reinterpreting a current high-fashion men’s runway look in our own way. The photos turned out beautifully. Susan Herr, DapperQ hirself, has called this photo “the best butch photo of all time,” and I am very pleased with how it turned out.

There are others over at DapperQ.com from this shoot, and there’s a video of all 5 of us models talking about our fashion inspiration as well.

Second Annual Butch/Femme Pride Sideshow! June 14th

Join us at Sideshow on June 14th for our second PRIDE month celebration of butch and femme. Readers include Rachel Kahn, Alicia Greene, & Maggie Cee from Boston’s Femme Show, Susan Herr from DapperQ.com, and Grace Moon from Velvet Park Media.

Sid

eshow: The Queer Literary Carnival
Hosted by Cheryl B. & Sinclair Sexsmith
Tuesday, June 14th
at The Phoenix
447 East 13th Street at Avenue A
Doors, 7:30pm. Reading, 8pm
Free! (We’ll pass the hat for the readers)
RSVP on Facebook

Rachel Kahn is a freelance writer, poet, and performer, but spends the vast majority of her time pretending to be a therapist. Her work has been heard at a variety of venues, including the Apocalypse Lounge, the Ear Inn Poetry Series, and The New York Writers’ Coalition ‘Writing Aloud’ series. She has performed at the HOT Festival at Dixon Place in New York City, and makes trouble on and off stage up and down the East Coast. Rachel is not ashamed to tell you that she wrote a young adult novel, but will never let you know what name she used.

Alicia Greene has been a performance-loving, femme dyke diva since she was 10 years old. Spoken word, dance, comedy are some of the stages you may have seen her on. She trained at Kansas State University, the Improv Asylum, Improv Olympic and the American Academy of Dramatic Arts-NYC to just to name a few. Some past performances include: The Chicago Improv Festival, Montreal Fringe Festival, Company One, Big Moves dance troupe, street corners, comedy clubs and open mikes near you. She has also been an announcer for the Boston Derby Dames Roller Derby League as “Lady Oshun-The Announcing Orisha” since 2007. www.bostonderbydames.com

Maggie Cee is an artist, activist, and teacher committed to community, social change, and wearing things in her hair. She is the founder and artistic director of The Femme Show, a ground-breaking touring variety show about queer femme identity. Publications include anthologies Girl Crazy and Second Person Queer and journals Gertrude and Common Ground Review. www.thefemmeshow.com

With dance, spoken word, burlesque and performance art from award winning artists, The Femme Show is the country’s only ongoing touring show exploring all aspects of femme identity. This is queer art for queer people, with a variety of diverse perspectives on femme identity that can be thoughtful, sad, funny, sexy, and fun. The Femme Show is available for performances and workshops at conferences, schools, and community events. www.thefemmeshow.com

Susan Herr is a 48-year-old butch dyke who founded dapperQ.com to build transgenderational bridges between her ilk and younger genderfabs. What will all the photos and videos and narratives contributed by pioneers transgressing men’s fashion — building on the work of folks like Mr. Sexsmith — it’s working! She used to be mad butchphobic and now she can’t get enough of the magic conveyed by simple swagger. Can you?

Grace Moon is the editor in chief of Velvetparkmedia.com an arts and culture social media site for queer women. Moon is also an exhibiting artist and professor of fine arts. She is currently working on a compilation of her columns to be published in an upcoming book.

Biggest Sideshow Yet! Genderqueer Tantra! So Much To Do

This month’s Sideshow: Queer Literary Carnival is the biggest yet! We have three poets, three comics, three guest judges, one musical guest, and one host who will be joining us on Tuesday—tomorrow night!—and telling dirty jokes and funny poems for your pleasure.

If you didn’t see Cheryl B.‘s previous reading series, Poetry vs Comedy Variety Hour, you’re in for a treat!

Join us at Sideshow on May 10th for a special revival of Cheryl B.’s previous reading series, Poetry vs Comedy Variety Hour! PVC is not a typical poetry slam nor a regular stand-up comedy show. PVC is a battle of wits and Rhymes where the stanzas and the stand-ups collide.

Performers include Kit Yan, Molly “Equality” Dykeman, Sinclair Sexsmith, Paul Case, Emma Willmann, and Jessica Halem. Celebrity guest judges include Shawn Hollenbach, Livia Scott, and Amanda Goad, Esquire. Hosted by Carolyn Castiglia, this special PvC features musical guest Leibya Rogers!

Sideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival: POETRY vs COMEDY
Hosted by Cheryl B. & Sinclair Sexsmith
Tuesday, May 10th
at The Phoenix
447 East 13th Street at Avenue A
Doors, 7:30pm. Reading, 8pm
Free! (We’ll pass the hat for the readers)

Now, that’s on Tuesday.

On Thursday, there is a very special Lesbian Sex Mafia monthly workshop, which features my tantra mentor.

Genderqueer Tantra with Alex Jade
Thursday, May 12 8:00pm
LGBT Community Center
208 W 13th St, New York, NY
RSVP on Facebook

Tantra is a school of thought and spiritual practice that allows us to explore the multi-dimensions of spiritual energy in our bodies. Though it often emphasizes the relationship between masculine and feminine, Genderqueer Tantra allows us to PLAY with masculine and feminine energies without getting caught up in rigid gender limitations. Join Tantra and SM practitioner Alex Jade for an interactive workshop that will introduce you to the basic Tantra concepts and invite you to deepen your sexual experiences, increase awareness of the body and mind using sensations from subtle to bold.

Alex Jade, MSW is an erotic educator, sacred intimate, psychotherapist, and student of Tantra. She is on the faculty of the Body Electric School and she has produced and taught independent workshops in Seattle for over 15 years. She has mastery in clothes-off hands-on experiential erotic education and the use of ritual as a healing tool. Alex’s specialties are gender exploration, classical Tantra, SM, and exploring with an open heart and mind.

This coming weekend, after these two (HUGE) events, I will be off in the mini-mountains of the Hudson Valley exploring some shadow through some bdsm and erotic energy play. I’m really thrilled to be doing another erotic energy retreat, and so glad it has come together. It is ever hard to get people to come out to events! Women especially, it seems.

I have more to say about that, and about a dozen other topics, but my brain is kind of fried with these events. They are so time consuming. More writing soon.

Lesbian Sex Mafia Presents: Genderqueer Tantra May 12th

It is my pleasure to invite you to another event this May in NYC: Genderqueer Tantra at the LGBT Center through the Lesbian Sex Mafia.

One of my favorite mentors, Alex Jade, is going to be in town doing a retreat through the tantra school with which I study, and I asked her to make a stop off in the city and do an event with the Lesbian Sex Mafia before she heads out to the retreat center. I’m thrilled she’ll be doing an introduction to tantra.

A lot of folks aren’t quite sure what tantra is, or a cliche and stereotype comes to mind. Broadly, it’s about energy, often as applied to sexuality—but it is bigger and deeper and much more complicated than that. I’m not a tantra teacher (yet) so I’m not even sure how to describe or explain it, but hey, that’s why workshops like this are fantastic.

Plus, it’s tantra in a queer and BDSM context, which makes it all the more awesome. Hope you can come.

Genderqueer Tantra with Alex Jade

Thursday, May 12 8:00pm
LGBT Community Center
208 W 13th St, New York, NY
RSVP on Facebook

Tantra is a school of thought and spiritual practice that allows us to explore the multi-dimensions of spiritual energy in our bodies. Though it often emphasizes the relationship between masculine and feminine, Genderqueer Tantra allows us to PLAY with masculine and feminine energies without getting caught up in rigid gender limitations. Join Tantra and SM practitioner Alex Jade for an interactive workshop that will introduce yo…u to the basic Tantra concepts and invite you to deepen your sexual experiences, increase awareness of the body and mind using sensations from subtle to bold.

Alex Jade, MSW is an erotic educator, sacred intimate, psychotherapist, and student of Tantra. She is on the faculty of the Body Electric School and she has produced and taught independent workshops in Seattle for over 15 years. She has mastery in clothes-off hands-on experiential erotic education and the use of ritual as a healing tool. Alex’s specialties are gender exploration, classical Tantra, SM, and exploring with an open heart and mind.

About LSM

Founded in 1981 by Dorothy Allison and Jo Arnone, the Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM) is the oldest continuously running women’s BDSM support and education groups in the country. We are located in New York City, with a membership primarily in the tri-state area of New York, New Jersey and Connecticut. However, we also have members along the East Coast, across the country and even in Europe!

LSM is a support and information group for all women 18 years of age or older, including transexual and intersexed women who live their daily lives as women and all female-born transgender people who feel they have a connection with and respect for the women’s community. And, who are interested in fantasy and role playing, bondage, discipline, S/M, fetishes, costumes, alternate gender identities and uninhibited sexual expression in a safe, sane, consensual and confidential way.

www.lesbiansexmafia.org

What’s Happening in May

College season is over! I’m still traveling a little bit during the summer, but I am thrilled to be at home and doing more New York-based things for the next few months. There’s still a lot going on, though I have way fewer events than I have had in the last few months.

Here’s the stuff you really should not miss.

Events with Mr. Sexsmith

Thursday, May 5th, 8pmRed Umbrella Diaries: The Boss of Me, www.redumbrellaproject.comHappy Ending, 302 Broome Street between Forsyth and Eldridge, Manhattan, NY

Tuesday, May 10th, 8pmSideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival: Poetry vs Comedy Variety Hour! Performers include Kit Yan, Molly “Equality” Dykeman, Sinclair Sexsmith, and Jessica Halem, with special guests TBA. Celebrity guest judges include Shawn Hollenbach and Livia Scott. Hosted by Carolyn Castiglia, this special PvC features musical guest Leibya Rogers! Details on Sugarbutch, RSVP on Facebookat The Phoenix, 447 East 13th Street at Avenue A in New York City

Thursday, May 12th, 8-10pmLesbian Sex Mafia presents: Genderqueer Tantra with Alex Jade. $5 for members, $10 for non members. Women & trans only. RSVP on Facebook.LGBT Center, 208 West 13th St. (7th/8th Ave) Manhattan, NY

Saturday, May 21stKristen’s birthday! Also the end of the world, or rather judgement day which counts down to the end of the world on October 21st, according to some Christian evangelicals. So we’re going to party like it’s 1999 and dress up like superheroes. (I am considering bleaching my hair so I can be Spike.)

Thursday, May 26th, 6pmLambda Literary Awards ceremony! Can’t wait. School of Visual Arts Theater, 333 West 23rd Street, Manhattan, NY

Queer Memoir is on hiatus, and it looks like Ruckus might not be happening this month, but keep an eye out for their date if they announce it. I’m looking forward to Red Umbrella Diaries, I haven’t been there in the last few months.

Also! I am now booking fall events for colleges and traveling nationally. I’ll be working at home and writing through May and June, and then doing more travel in July, August, and September, including some travels to Seattle in early July, the Butch Voices national conference in Oakland in August, and Dark Odyssey Summer Camp in September. My schedule is kept up on mrsexsmith.com/appearances if you want to see if I’m coming your way.

Last but not least, here’s my 2011 workshop offerings in a PDF so it is easy to download, you can also download my one sheet PDF or high res photos in my press kit). Get in touch if you’re interested in booking me, you can contact me directly—mrsexsmith(at)gmail—or my booking company, PhinLi, at bookings(at)phinli.com.

Poetry vs Comedy Variety Hour at Sideshow May 10th

Well folks, Sideshow time is rolling around again—the next of my monthly reading series that I co-host and co-produce with the lovely Cheryl B. happens one week from tomorrow, on May 10th.

This one is a special one. Cheryl is still in the hospital, where she’s been for almost a month now, and we’re not sure if she’ll be able to attend next week or not (I would guess it is unlikely, but I know how badly she wants to be there!). But this show is a special revival of Cheryl’s former reading series, the Poetry vs Comedy Variety Hour, which was a genius combining of both poets and comics in a hilarious “competition” where the top poet and the top comic go head-to-head in a bonus improv round. Of course, the winning is not the point (but it didn’t stop me from being extra-nervous when performing in this series—I guess it brings out my inner competition that I try to keep managed).

I competed in Cheryl’s series three times, and won twice! I was the first poet to ever win, too—usually the comics were much more of a shoe-in. (But not this time, right Kit? We’ll give ’em a run for their money!)

I dug this photo out from the shoot with Syd London when I was making the graphic for this event, not sure I ever shared it with y’all (unless you went through the Flickr set).

photo by Syd London

I miss Cheryl’s company. I visit her as often as possible, but it’s not the same as kicking around for a day at a coffee shop in Brooklyn and talking about our lives and writing and girlfriends and sex and jobs and goals and whatever. I don’t know if I would have undertaken this Sideshow project if she wasn’t at the helm with me, and I’ve been so grateful for her guidance and help with this show.

So while we’ve been planning this special Poetry vs Comedy Sideshow for a long time, I’m also glad it’s coming along now, and it’s become a bit of a tribute to Cheryl as a community organizer, reading series host, poet, writer, and performer. We’ll be donating what we collect to Cheryl, and hopefully we’ll have someone there videotaping the evening in case she can’t make it. She is doing MUCH better (which is such a relief), but she still has some rehabilitation to go through, and some care and healing for her poor lungs.

I’d really like to rally and send some good energies her way during this difficult healing time. I hope, if you are in New York City on May 10th, you’ll come.

Join us at Sideshow on May 10th for a special revival of Cheryl B.’s previous reading series, Poetry vs Comedy Variety Hour! PVC is not a typical poetry slam nor a regular stand-up comedy show. PVC is a battle of wits and Rhymes where the stanzas and the stand-ups collide.

Performers include Kit Yan, Molly “Equality” Dykeman, Sinclair Sexsmith, Paul Case, Emma Willmann, and Jessica Halem. Celebrity guest judges include Shawn Hollenbach, Livia Scott, and Amanda Goad, Esquire. Hosted by Carolyn Castiglia, this special PvC features musical guest Leibya Rogers!

Sideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival: POETRY vs COMEDY
Hosted by Cheryl B. & Sinclair Sexsmith
Tuesday, May 10th
at The Phoenix
447 East 13th Street at Avenue A
Doors, 7:30pm. Reading, 8pm
Free! (We’ll pass the hat for the readers)

POETS

Andrea Alton aka Molly “Equality” Dykeman has performed her poetry/burlesque and comedy all over New York with appearances at Comix, The PIT, Arlene’s Grocery, The LGBT Center, The Knitting Factory, Dixon Place, The Bowery Poetry Club and The Stonewall Inn. She’s also performed at The Chicago, DC, San Francisco and Toronto Sketch Comedy Festivals as well as at The Miss Fag Hag Pageant (a benefit for The Harvey Milk School) and Murray Hill’s Miss Lez Pageant. Molly’s play The F*cking World According To Molly was just accepted into the New York Fringe Festival and will be premiering in August. www.mollyequalitydykeman.com

Recently Featured in the HBO Documentary Asians Aloud, Kit Yan tell stories through slam poetry from the lens of a transgender Asian American from Hawaii now lost in the big city of New York. Through touching love poems, dirty sex accounts(optional), and comedic tales of his childhood –Kit takes you on a journey that is raw, real, heart-wrenching, and unforgettable. New York Magazine describes his art as “knockout spoken-word” while Curve magazine says “incredible slam poetry” and Bitch magazine states that: “The eloquence of Kit’s spoken-word delivery lies in the anti-racist, anti-homophobic, gender-inclusive, language that ties his lyrics together.” Kit’s work has been taught at universities coast to coast, from San Francisco State to Harvard. He spoke to over 200,000 from the stage of the 2009 National Equality March, performed on the San Francisco Pride main stage, and earned a spot in as a top three finalist at the National Queer Slam. Kit Yan is the reigning Mr. Transman 2010, the first person to ever hold this national title.

Sinclair Sexsmith really loves sandwiches, daisies, spiral notebooks, and bourbon. She has performed in dyke bars, libraries, community centers, college campuses, and once, topless in a burrito line. She co-hosts and co-produces Sideshow with Cheryl B., and writes at Sugarbutch.net.

COMICS

Called “bawdy and brave” by Time Out Chicago and “Righteous and Chipper” by the Times-Picayune, Jessica Halem was raised by hippie Jewish artists from the East Coast which was anything but normal – or easy – in small-town Ohio, but did help to foster this very funny “on-your-face” comic who puts her queer spin on everything from Sudafed to Feminism to Glory Holes. Jessica Halem was trained in femme queerness at Sarah Lawrence College; earned her chops as a social justice activist working for Bella Abzug; and as a LGBTQ health guru running the Lesbian Community Cancer Project. Jessica Halem performs at every college, Pride, and bathhouse where she can help find the funny in even the toughest of times.

Originally from rural Maine, Emma Willmann began performing comedy in late 2008. In 2009 she was a finalist in Catch a Rising Star, and in 2010 she won first place in The Boston Comedy Riots. In 2011, she was featured in The Women in Comedy Festival, a finalist in Mohegan Suns Funniest Comic in New England Competition, and became a regular at The Broadway and New York Comedy Clubs. When not doing comedy, Emma is getting a Masters in Media Studies and Entertainment Management at The New School, where she also co – host’s the radio program, “That’s My Theory,” on WNSR New School Radio. Tweet with her @EmmaWillmann.

& special guests TBA!

JUDGES

Actress, comedian & character powerhouse Livia Scott was recently named “One of our favorite 53 comedians” by The Huffington Post. Credits: Honesty on Comedy Central, 7 different characters in National Lampoon’s Dirty Movie, Law & Order and Conan. Currently you can see her on Atom.com playing Courtney Love in the web series Saving Love.

Shawn Hollenbach is a stand up comedian, actor and the gay next door. Shawn is the producer of Closet Cases, a Critics’ Pick from Time Out NY, a Homo Must in HX Magazine and can be heard on Broadcastr. You may have seen him on VH1 or on Gayest Week Ever on Logo’s NewNowNext.com. He’s also been featured on two episodes of Hot Gay Comicson the here! Networks and you may have seen him as the host of Busted, a celebrity gossip podcast. He’s also creator and co-producer of the Miss Fag Hag Pageant. featuring such talents as Caroline Rhea, Leslie Jordan, John Cameron Mitchell, Michael Musto and Hedda Lettuce. Shawn is also a contributing writer for 365gay.com

& special guest TBA!

MUSIC

Mindy Raf (BUST Magazine, Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Women in Comedy Festival) is a writer, comedienne, and musician out of Brooklyn, New York. She will be performing music as her popular alter-ego, chick rocker, Leibya Rogers. Mindy is currently finishing up her first novel which is set to be published by Dial Books for Young Readers, a division of Penguin. http://www.mindyraf.com

HOST

Carolyn Castiglia is a stand-up comedian, writer and hip-hop superstar. You may have seen her on Comedy Central’s Atom TV, NBC’s Last Comic Standing, Nick-at-Nite’s Funniest Mom in America 3, The Maury Show, ABC World News with Charles Gibson and heard her on Sirius/XM Radio. She is best known for her appearances on VH1/ego trip’s The White Rapper Show and Miss Rap Supreme as the lovable and hilarious Miss CKC. Her funny freestyle has won her numerous championship titles at The BEATdown, a monthly showcase at New York’s UCB Theatre.

Happy 5th Anniversary, Sugarbutch! And: Ask Me Anything

Charles Demuth, The Figure 5 in Gold
Today is Sugarbutch’s 5th anniversary—I started this little personal online writing project five years ago, on April 29, 2006.

Oh so much has changed since then!

Though while I’m going back to see what I wrote last year, for the 4th anniversary, I’m still on that same path as I was then. Though my columns at CarnalNation.com and SexIs have ended, I’m still writing for AfterEllen.com, the Lambda Literary Foundation, and Good Vibes Magazine. I’m still keeping up with MrSexsmith.com for my speaking gigs, travels, and tracking my guest posts and interviews elsewhere, and still playing with Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, and other social media. I’m trying to figure out what it is I’m trying to build, and where I’m going, but I have some ideas and things are coming together, I think. I’m still writing about my main relationship and the turmoils—and thrilling joys—of constant intimacy.

The biggest news, perhaps, is that I’m editing a book of lesbian BDSM erotica for Cleis Press, which I am thrilled about. Actually, that manuscript is due this weekend, so I have officially declared today “Smut Day,” because I’m editing and compiling and putting all the last minute details together.

I woke up wondering whether Cleis includes a dedication standard in their book, so I flipped through some books from my smut library to see what I could find.

my (abridged) smut library

(You’ll just have to buy the book to see whether I am able to include one or not.)

I’m really enjoying this erotica anthology editing process, and I think the collection is going to be fantastic. I can’t wait to share the final product with you all! I don’t have a publication date yet, but you will be the first to know as soon as I do. I hope to do more of these, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself—this one isn’t even done yet. (Getting closer!)

I’ve got some other things in the works, but I’m mostly just focused on writing columns elsewhere online doing some more editing, and traveling to do workshops and speak. I’ve got some exciting gigs coming up this summer!

And now, on to the Sugarbutch anniversary tradition: Ask Me Anything.

I get a lot of emails asking for advice or help or clarification or what my opinion is on something, and though I’ve never formally written an advice column (though I would be interested in doing so—anybody want to hire me for that?), I have kept up this “ask me anything” tradition for a few years now, so perhaps that’s where y’all get the idea to email me questions. I always put those emails in a special folder that I swear I will get to, when I have time, but y’all, I never have time. I’m sorry. I feel bad not replying to your personal crises, and sometimes I write back to say “I’m sorry I can’t answer this,” but there are only so many hours in the day and any of those extra ones I would like to spend kissing my beautiful girlfriend rather than answering even more emails.

This is why I do not have an “ask me anything” on tumblr. They are very time consuming.

But! This is your opportunity! Got a question you crave to hear my advice about? Did you email me and I never answered (sorry)? Here’s the deal. Leave a comment on this post and ask me whatever you like. You can ask anything, from personal details about my life that you’ve always wondered, to questions about advice for sex toys or your relationship, to philosophical musings on identity, gender, or sexuality theory. The shorter and more specific the question, the better.

I will answer every single question asked by the end of May. That is my vow to you, especially since last year they dragged on and I didn’t answer them until the end of October. Read back on some of the former “ask me anything” questions if you like.

Apparently the 5th anniversary tradition is wood, so, well, try not to make too many jokes about that.

So go ahead—what do you want to know? What are you curious to read my thoughts about? What have you always wondered? What kind of dirty things will you get me to reveal?

I’ve returned from the Midwest!

And along with myself, I’ve brought some jam from Lucille’s Kitchen Garden, thanks to Lori‘s suggestion. I am devouring the garlic pepper version right now on a grilled cheese sandwich. I would be eating the raspberry pepper kind, which apparently is the star of the bunch (their website quotes a fan saying, “I would eat my own arm if this was on it,” which I find hilarious), but we’ve already gone through more than half a jar since I brought it back on Saturday afternoon and I’m trying to save it for more goat cheese, or the garlic & brie recipe that uses it.

Apparently the jam is made by queers, too. Bonus! Midwest, I am very jealous that you have access to this at all times.

So of course, since I was gone for a week and really intently focused on the events and workshops and performance I was doing (I was only late to my own workshop once!), I have a million things to do now that I’m back in town. I have many deadlines coming up in early May, so forgive me if things are quiet around here for a bit.

Meanwhile, there are some great things to do in NYC if you’re nearby:

Special queer literary night:

Queer Literary Night (free!)
Wednesday April 27, 2011
8pm
Phoenix Bar, NYC (447 East 13th Street)
RSVP on Facebook

Come hear the wonderful queer literary talent of the Columbia University Writing MFA program, including poets, fiction writers, and nonfiction writers: Josh Edwin, Nadia Waggener, Eliza Schrader, Muna Gurung, Stephen Moles.

Also, our featured reader is David Ebershoff, author of “The Danish Girl,” “The Rose City,” “Pasadena” and “The 19th Wife” and Professor at Columbia University.

The event is free and open to the public.

For all of you butch appreciators out there:

L Boogie Productions Presents:
Boxers Off! An Evening of Butch Burlesque
The Spring-Has-Sprung April Show!
with emcee Lea Robinson as L Boogie
Stonewall Inn (53 Christopher St .)
Saturday, April 30th, 2011
7pm-10:00pm
Admission $10
RSVP on Facebook

April showers, may flowers, and pagan revelry! Which hot performers will help you shake off the winter chill? Performances will include new work by Drae Campbell, Laura Turley, Cal Trumann, Daddy TYE, Molly Dykeman, Susana Cook, Susan O’Dea, and Shelly Mars… And Mieke’s Go Go dancers will be there to get you in the mood.

And not to be missed in NYC in May:

New York launch of Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme
Saturday, May 14, 2011
The Stonewall Inn (53 Christopher Street)
8:00PM
RSVP on Facebook

UW Madison tonight!

Hey folks! I’m here in beautiful (rainy, snowy) Milwaukee, had a great time at The Tool Shed last night. And did I mention the cheese plate I had for dinner? These folks know how to do cheese.

Oh hi, Lake Michigan. I almost didn't see you there

I’ll be at UW Madison tonight in Madison, Wisconsin, and since I didn’t ever post the info, here is it:

Fucking With Gender writing workshop (bring a pen & paper!)
with Sex Out Loud
8pm
University of Wisconsin Madison
Humanities building, located on Park Street

I don’t know which room exactly but I assume there will be signs. I’m looking forward to it! This is one of my favorite workshops to do.

Big day ahead of me, better get going—see you tonight!

“Doing to me just what sugar does:” k.d. lang in New York City

Kristen and I lucked out and got tickets to see k.d. lang and the Siss Boom Bang at Le Poisson Rouge last Thursday night. I love that venue, it’s small and classic; we saw Amy Ray play there a few months ago and that was my first time there, but I hope more queer folks come through there.

The concert was kind of last minute, and we already had a big week planned, with another concert on Saturday night (Coyote Grace & Girlyman!), a day-long workshop on Saturday, and of course full days of work during the week, but we couldn’t pass it up.

She ran down there and got in line early. I joined her just before they opened the doors and we hustled to the stage the moment we got inside, and stayed there. We were far right, isn’t that stage left?, in the very front, and I snapped some good photos.

Kristen and I ducked into the photo booth after the show. k.d. was SO CLOSE. The show was fantastic. Even The New York Times says so. I was a little giddy and high after, being so close and her amazing voice and awesome performance. I’ve seen her once before, but I was in the eighteenth balcony at Radio City Music Hall, and could barely see her, aside from the shape of her white suit and bare feet moving on stage. It was so different to be so up close. She looked even more familiar, like family, with her sweet and awkward and hot butch dancing and her shy smiles and flirty attention to the audience.

I’m still kind of obsessed over her newest album, Sing It Loud. I wrote about her evolving masculine style over at AfterEllen last week:

I have lots more to say about that, actually, but I haven’t had any time to organize my thoughts. And I’m about to leave for Milwaukee, Minneapolis, St. Paul, and Madison tomorrow! I’ll update details on that “What’s Happening in April” page and on mrsexsmith.com when I have more of the exact details (I know the Madison workshop is still TBA—working on it!).

I’m loading up my ipod with k.d. tracks for the trip. I haven’t listened to Watershed in a while.

And while I got some pretty decent photos, I did notice quite a few folks around me taking video too, and lo and behold, the entire show is on YouTube. I remember these folks, with their phones and tiny cameras held up throughout the show—I was kind of hoping they would put them on YouTube, and kind of thinking they were being rude. At one point k.d. sang right into someone’s little device. I haven’t seen that one yet (maybe they were taking photos, not video?)—I don’t recall which song it was.

Almost all of the songs she did were from this new album, with the exception of “Constant Craving”, which sounded a bit different than it used to. I suggest listening to “I Confess,” “Constant Craving,” and “Sugar Buzz,” those three were especially amazing. But if you’ve got some time, and since I snagged the setlist from the electric guitarist’s station right in front of us, I know exactly the order she performed them all in, so you can watch it all, if you’d like, and pretend you were there with us.

What’s Happening In April

I started this over the last week of March, but this week has been so nuts that I couldn’t get it done.

In sum: April is busy! Lots of events! The most exciting of which is a week-long trip to Minneapolis, Madison, and Milwaukee toward the end of the month, as well as a return visit to Drew University, and the one year anniversary of Sideshow!

Events with Mr. Sexsmith

Thursday, April 7th, 8pmThe Gay Ol’ Opry: Queer Country Music Festival! I’ll be in the DapperQ Fashion ShowPublic Assembly, Williamsburg Brooklyn, NY

Tuesday, April 11th, 8pmSideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival: Siblings with Anne-E. Wood, Katie Liederman, and Kay Ulanday Barrettat The Phoenix, 447 East 13th Street at Avenue A in New York City

Tuesday, April 19th, 8pmCock Confidence at The Tool Shed2427 N. Murray Ave, Milwaukee, WI

Wed, April 20th, 7pmWorkshop at UW Madison (TBA)Madison, WI

Thursday, April 21st, 4pmRadical & Responsible Gender workshopHamline University, Minneapolis MN

Thursday, April 21st, 8pmSpoken word performance featuring some of my most requested pieces, including “Butch Poem,” “How to Survive Your First Year in New York City,” “Me in a Nutshell,” “For the Record,” and othersHamline University, Minneapolis MN

Friday, April 22nd, 8pmCock Confidence at Smitten Kitten3010 Lyndale Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN

Wed, April 27th, 8pmAdvanced Gender & Kink Through Feminism (a new workshop!)Drew University, Madison, NJ

I’ll update this if any other events get added.

I’m still booking some spring events! I am mostly planning to be writing in May and June, but I do have some travel days possible if you would like to bring me to your college or organization. And I’m already beginning to book some of my fall travel—I’ll be working at home and writing through May and June, and then doing more travel in July, August, and September, including some travels to Seattle in early July, the Butch Voices national conference in Oakland in August, and Dark Odyssey Summer Camp in September. My schedule is kept up on mrsexsmith.com/appearances if you want to see if I’m coming your way.

I’d love to post other community events happening this month, but I don’t even know what’s going on aside from my own events, since the month is so busy. I’m sure Queer Memoir and Red Umbrella Diaries are happening, and Ruckus is a new queer reading series and looks amazing too.

I do have tickets to go see Girlyman at City Winery along with Coyote Grace, I’m thrilled about that. It’ll be a great peaceful date event in the midst of a lot of travel and chaos. I’ve never seen Girlyman live but I adore their live CD and I’ve heard they are an amazing show. And have you seen their music video for Young James Dean, directed by Margaret Cho? The song is described as “a meditation on butch identity” and the video is full of queers, some you’ll probably even recognize like Amos Mac, Rocco Kayiatos, Ian Harvie, Madison Young, and Tomcat. I really love Doris’s voice though, here’s one of her songs:

Doris was recently diagnosed with leukemia, the same month that Cheryl was actually, and she’s been writing about it in a separate blog from the Girlyman site. Sending love her way, and I’m thrilled to be able to see them all in concert.

Last but not least, here’s my 2011 workshop offerings in a PDF so it is easy to download, you can also download my one sheet PDF or high res photos in my press kit). Get in touch if you’re interested in booking me, you can contact me directly—mrsexsmith(at)gmail—or my booking company, PhinLi, at bookings(at)phinli.com.

April 12 is Sideshow’s One Year Anniversary!

Can you believe it’s been a year since Sideshow started?

Cheryl & I have done quite a lot in that year, including having some incredibly well-known authors come through our little stage at the Phoenix, and Cheryl being diagnosed with hodgkin’s lymphoma and her first reading with a shaved head, and the announcement of my first anthology. We have video from one month, October, and we hope to do more of that in this next year. We’ve still got some fantastic line-ups coming your way this summer and fall!

Since it’s my birthday show, there will probably be some other goodies there also, some giveaways or some baked goods or both. Still cooking up those plans, you’ll have to wait and see.

Come on out for the anniversary show on April 12th where we’ll be exploring the theme of “siblings,” chosen or from your family of origin, featuring writers Anne-E. Wood, Katie Liederman, and Kay Ulanday Barrett.

Sideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival: Siblings
Hosted by Cheryl B. & Sinclair Sexsmith
Tuesday, April 12th @ The Phoenix
447 East 13th Street @ Avenue A
Doors, 7:30pm. Reading, 8pm
Free! (We’ll pass the hat for the readers)

About the Readers:

A CAMPUS PRIDE 2009 Hot List artist, Kay Ulanday Barrett is a poet, performer, educator, and martial artist navigating life as a [email protected] trans/queer in the U.S. with struggle, resistance, and laughter.  Based in NY/NJ, with roots in Chicago, K’s work is the mix of gritty city flex and Midwest open sky grounded in homeland soil. In Mango Tribe and in solo work, K. has featured on stages nationally and internationally; from the NJ Performing Arts Center to the Chicago Historical Museum, Brooklyn Museum to Dublin’s Lesbian Arts Festival, K’s bold work continues to excite and challenge audiences. Honors include: LGBTQ 30 under 30 awards,  Finalist for The Gwendolyn Brooks Open-Mic Award, and Windy City Times Pride Literary Poetry Prize. K. turns art into action, as a dedicated activist who works with LGBTQ communities and was recently showcased at Res Artis as an international panelist/performer in Montreal, Quebec. kaybarrrett.net

Katie Liederman has written for Nerve, GO, Curve, Rap-Up, Velvetpark, Penthouse Forum, V, V Man, Lumina, Looserecord.com, The Archive, The New Gay, and was a resident blogger on Showtime’s Ourchart.com. She received a Bachelor’s degree in English from Cornell University and an M.F.A. in Nonfiction Writing from Sarah Lawrence College.

Anne-E. Wood’s stories have appeared in Tin House, Agni, New Letters, The Chicago Quarterly Review, Other Voices, and Gargoyle among others. She has an MFA in Fiction from San Francisco State and she teaches writing at Rutgers University and the Gotham Writers’ Workshop. She lives in Brooklyn and is at work on a novel.

The Birthday Shoes Tradition

I have a little bit of a birthday tradition around here, where I ask readers to send in photos of their sexiest shoes as a little birthday card, if you feel so inspired. “Sexiest” can mean whatever you think it means, though I am partial to the tall, delicate, girly ones that tie around the ankle, but big stomping boots are awesome too, and toe cleavage is pretty darn sexy. Your call, I’m curious to see whatever makes you feel the most sexy.

Here are a few of my favorites from the last few years:


From Sex in Power in 2010


violetwhite in 2010


J. from Toronto in 2009


Missy in 2008

Email me your photo sometime in the next week or so, or leave the URL here in the comments, and I’ll be compiling them and featuring in the next few weeks. Sugarbutch turns 5 at the end of April and I’ll be doing the Ask Me Anything tradition again, so let’s get this done before that starts.

If you’d rather not send in a birthday photograph, maybe you’d consider buying me a beer? I know it’s tough financial times, for many of us, and I so appreciate the support y’all are sending by way of emails and comments. If you’d like to treat me to a birthday present, I would so appreciate it. If you’d like to do something other than a donation, I will (this one time!) provide the link to my Amazon wishlist that has mostly books and a few kitchen things. I really want to keep writing here, and to stay afloat, and every little bit helps as I’m still struggling into this freelance career.





Sincere thank yous! Now, I have a big to-do list to get through before Kristen and I take off tomorrow, so I better go do some work and stop looking at the Mac store.

Reminder: Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 Submissions Are Due April 1

This is one of my favorite erotica series, not only because the 1997 version was one of the first books of lesbian erotica that I ever picked up, and because I’ve submitted to this anthology every year starting in 2006 (though I haven’t been included every year). I always pick it up, always, regardless of the table of contents or the guest judge, because it is a high quality collection that I always enjoy.

Next year, 2012, I’ve heard rumors that there is a special guest judge. I can’t tell you who, but I am excited.

If you’re an erotica writer, consider getting something together for the April 1 deadline! Specific guidelines for submission are below:

Kathleen Warnock is now accepting submissions for Best Lesbian Erotica 2012, to be published by Cleis Press in December, 2011.

Submission Guidelines:

  • Submit short stories, self-contained novel excerpts, other prose
  • Unpublished material will be considered
  • Previously published material will also be considered
  • Submit two hard copies of each submission (you may print double-sided).
  • Include a cover page with: Author’s Name, Pen Name (if applicable) Title of Submission(s), Address, Phone, and Email Address, and short (50-ish words) bio.
  • All submissions must be typed and double-spaced; number the pages.
  • Each submission should be a maximum of 5,000 words (list word count on title page).You may print double-sided.
  • You may submit up to 2 different pieces of work
  • No email submissions will be accepted, except in the circumstances detailed below; you can email queries to Kwarnockble (at) gmail.com
  • Manuscripts will not be returned, so please don’t send return envelopes.
  • We will consider stories that have been published in other themed anthologies.

E-mail submissions:
You may submit your story via email (as a Word document or PDF) under the following conditions:

  • You live outside of North America or Europe
  • The cost of postage would be prohibitive from your home country
  • The content of your submission may be illegal to send via postal mail in your home country

Submission Deadline:
Submissions will be accepted throughout the year. The final (postmark) deadline is April 1, 2011. All submissions will be responded to by the end of September. Early submissions are encouraged.

Mailing Information:
Send all submissions to:

Kathleen Warnock
31-64 21st St., #319
Long Island City, NY 11106
Attn: BLE2012

If mailing from the US, First Class mail is fine. If you require a confirmation other than the USPS Delivery Confirmation, please included a self-addressed stamped postcard (not an envelope). If mailing from Canada, Airmail or XpressPost USA are recommended.

Please note: April 1, 2011 is a postmark date. You don’t need to overnight it as long as it is postmarked by then. If you are unable to make the postmark date, please email to discuss the possibility of an extension.

Questions? Email the editor at kwarnockble (at) gmail.com.

Erotic Energy Workshops for Women in May

If you read between the lines around here, you probably know I’m involved with an erotic energy school. I’ve been studying there for about ten years now. I’ve been assisting for about five, and started coordinating workshops last year.

There are two advanced retreats that I am coordinating coming up in May near Albany, NY and in July near Albuquerque, NM, and if you are experienced with erotic energy work you are invited to come join me there.

I kept writing “workshop” here, because that’s what we call them, but really they are retreats, either 3- or 5-days long.

A good friend of mine (and fellow butch!) is also coordinating the level one class in Oakland in May. Perhaps you’re a beginner, and interested in what all this subtle energy, erotic energy, tantra stuff is about? This one is perfect for you. It explores subtle and not so subtle energy in the body, as well as mapping desires, reclaiming pleasure, and healing old wounds. I’ve taken it probably ten times and it is always full of learning, fascinating, challenging, and beautiful.

I call it “level one” or sometimes even “beginner level,” but it is totally applicable to folks who have experience with this too. Kind of like how in yoga, an advanced student can come into a beginner class and still get tons and tons out of it. There is a lot of room for everyone’s experience, level of comfort, and personal life history in each of these courses and I highly encourage taking them. They have significantly changed my life in the last ten years and I have taken many, many of the foundations of my sexual self away from the teachings of these workshops, with these particular teachers.

I’m not posting all the details here, but I would be glad to send them to you if you want to know more. Email me at mrsexsmith (at) gmail.com and I will send you more information. I’m glad to answer questions you have, too.

Free Queer Porn Party (on Twitter) Tonight, and You’re Invited

Y’all didn’t forget about the #pornparty tonight, did you?

What is a #pornparty, you ask? Well, it’s a worldwide gathering on Twitter of folks who like queer porn. Simply tune in at 6pm PST / 9pm EST, press play at precisely that time, and then follow the hashtag #pornparty while you watch for commentary and discussion. If you want to join in, make sure you have your own Twitter account, too, and tag your posts with the hashtag so we’ll all see them.

Tonight, we’ll be watching Artcore through Hot Movies For Her, and viewing this film is completely free. You don’t have to buy it or download it or purchase VOD minutes to watch it with us. You will need a HotMoviesForHer.com account (which requires a credit card for verification purposes), and simply use the code ArtcorePornParty (which IS case sensitive) when you sign up and you’ll receive 80 minutes free to watch with us tonight! Those 80 minutes will expire tomorrow, so watch ’em quick!

Watch the trailer and read the description of the film if you want even more inspiration to join in.

So all you have to do is:
1. Make a HotMoviesForHer.com account and use the code “ArtcorePornParty” for 80 free minutes
2. Tune in tonight! March 23rd at 6pm PST, 9pm EST
3. Enjoy the film with us
4. Follow & contribute to the Twitter discussion with the hashtag #pornparty

You can also follow me (@mrsexsmith) as well as some of the porn stars in the film, like @fatty_d, @courtneytrouble, @drewdeveaux, @kellyshibari, and of course our fabulous #pornparty host, @hotmovies4her on Twitter.

So, are you game? Who’s in?

Some Spring Cleaning

I’m trying to do some morning pages every day, and sometimes those turn into blog posts, so you might be noticing that there’s been more password protected posts than usual. They are personal writings, usually about my relationship or about my personal psychology.

You can have access to the password protected posts if you want to read them. Just join the mailing list, and when you confirm your subscription you should get sent the password automatically. I usually send out a newsletter once a month that includes updates to what I’ve been doing and the upcoming events for the next month or so. (Sometimes it’s not as often as monthly. I try, though.)

In fact, the newsletter should go out next week. So even if you don’t care about the password, you can still sign up for it and receive updates from me once a month or so.

This is a kind of old theme that I’m using, but I love how simple it is. I’ve always meant to do some upgrades to the comment structure but haven’t gotten around to it. I finally separated out the trackbacks and pingbacks from the actual comments, you can see that in a post like My Slutty Little Girl if you want to check it out.

I also opened comments on old posts again, so if there are older writings you’d like to comment on, please do. This fixed the issue of the sidebar (did you notice that? It would be down below the main body instead of at the side on the old posts).

I still want to update this theme such that I can have nested or threaded comments, but I messed around with it this morning and I couldn’t seem to make it work. If you are a WordPress coder and are interested in helping me with this, I do have a little bit of money I could throw your way, and I’d really appreciate it.

Someone commented recently that they didn’t know there were new posts because I’ve left the What’s Happening in March calendar post at the top of the blog this month—I did that in February too. Does this matter to y’all? Do you notice? Is it helpful to have the updated schedule there all the time? Or is it in the way? I’m not sure it’s doing what I want it to do. Maybe it’d be best to have this in the sidebar, but I haven’t figured out how to automate that yet.

If you’ve got any other suggestions for how I can improve the site, I’d be glad to hear ’em. Leave them in the comments.

The Next Porn Party: Artcore (for Free!) on March 23rd

The next Porn Party on Twitter will be March 23rd, 6pm PST / 9pm EST, and we’ll be watching Artcore through Hot Movies For Her.

This time, though, the Porn Party is extra special: Viewing Artcore during the Porn Party will be totally free. You don’t have to buy it or download it or purchase VOD minutes to watch it with us. You will need a HotMoviesForHer.com account, but we’ll have a special code that will enable you to watch this film during the party. More on that will be announced as soon as I have the details!

So all you have to do is:
1. Make a HotMoviesForHer.com account
2. Tune in on March 23rd at 6pm PST, 9pm EST with the code
3. Enjoy the film!
4. Bonus if you follow & contribute to the Twitter discussion with the hashtag #pornparty

I’m excited about this film, there are quite a few people in it that I’ve never seen in porn before, and a few I do recognize, like Courtney Trouble. She posted some notes on the filming including what it was like to be there and what they did. Check out some photos from the film on fattyd.com, where I also read that there’s an official release party 3/26/11 in LA.

And, to top it all off, Artcore is one of the 2011 Feminist Porn Award nominees! I don’t know if I’ll be able to watch all of them, but I’m going to try. Right now I count 18 that I’ve either seen or want to see, so perhaps I’ll concentrate on that list. There are quite a few I still need to review, too. I’ll get on that one of these days.

Meanwhile, hope you’ll join me for the next porn party. Here’s the official trailer and description to whet your palette further:

ARTCORE from cbattsfly on Vimeo.

ARTCORE

Director: Carlos Batts
Starring: April Flores, Kelly Shibari, Courtney Trouble, Drew Deveaux & Damali Dares
Approximate Running Time: 01:18

Get ready for the revolution of hardcore. Get ready for Artcore.

The latest erotic adventure from the mind of Carlos Batts, “Artcore” features his beautiful muse, April Flores, and documents a diverse range of sexual interests, from body image and gender identity to fetishes, rubber and role playing.

Playing with the ever evolving interest in sexuality in the media – movie stars playing adult stars, celebrity sex tapes, runway fetish shows and reality television – “Artcore” becomes a sinful digital mix tape blending music, mood and tempo to create a new approach to recording sex.

It’s April as you’ve never seen her before, showing off a mind-blowing display of versatility to match the explosive curves and deadly sex appeal we already know and love.

First she gets kinky with “The Hoodman”, indulging her dominant side with fabulous fetish wear and a high heel-clad foot job. An all-girl threesome with Courtney Trouble, Kelly Shibari, two Hitachis and an N-JOY dildo results in a multi-orgasmic, voluptuous extravaganza. They laugh, they cum and they make you want to cum with them.

Want more? In a bowler hat and drawn-on mustache, April is joined by queer porn heartthrob Drew Deveaux for a steamy gender bending romp. And then the nightcap. Hooking up for an after-hours interracial rendezvous, Damali and April have a lesbian BBW fling for the ages.

Featuring hot and heavy lesbians, dominance and submission and toys (but no boys), “Artcore” is Batts’ most erotic film to date, an aesthetically rewarding and unapologetically explicit homage to his Latin siren and the perfect playground for her fantasies – and yours.


Photo by Courtney Trouble

Follow @mrsexsmith, @fatty_d, @courtneytrouble, @drewdeveaux, @kellyshibari, and @hotmovies4her on Twitter. Thanks to JD over at Hot Movies For Her for helping to make this happen!

What’s Happening in March

It’s March! And it’s almost spring! I’m hoping with that will come increasingly easy months of light and play, and less struggle and coldness, which the winter has been full of.

Here’s what’s happening this month.

Events with Mr. Sexsmith

Tuesday, March 8th, 8pmSideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival: Spring Fever with Arianne Benford, Beth Greenfield, Genne Murphy, and LOVE the Poetat The Phoenix, 447 East 13th Street at Avenue A in New York City

Wednesday, March 23rd, 6pm PST / 9pm ESTPorn Party on Twitter featuring Artcore—for free! Click for more detailson Twitter

Saturday, March 22nd, 11am-5pm (1:15pm)Rainbow Book Fair. I will be reading at 1:15 as part of the reading series. Description: “This is the largest LGBT book event in America, and it is free and open to the public. Be a part of the most exciting lgbt book event in the U.S. Join authors, poets, publishers, university presses, and the entire reading and writing community in this diverse spectacular of words, images, and talent. With the Center’s dramatic large 3rd floor exhibition space, additional rooms for panels, poetry readings, and author events, free books and hourly book giveaways, mingling, and meeting authors and readers like yourself.”at The LGBT Center, 208 W 13th St, New York City

I’ll update this if any other events get added. I’m not doing a lot in March, but I have more things in progress and quite a few coming up in April and May. I’m hoping to get to Santa Cruz, California in May, and to Minneapolis, Minnesota in early April, and possibly Seattle in late April. If you are nearby one of these places, it might be possible for me to pop over and do a workshop for you, too. Or if you don’t live nearby, there’s still time to book one of my workshops about sex and gender in the coming year.

I’ve updated my 2011 workshop offerings in a PDF so it is easy to download. I incorporated many of the ideas you all suggested when I asked what workshops you’d like to see me teach, thank you for the feedback! (You can also download my one sheet PDF or high res photos in my press kit). Get in touch if you’re interested in booking me, you can contact me directly—mrsexsmith(at)gmail—or my booking company, PhinLi, at bookings(at)phinli.com.

Other Exciting Community Events


Monday, March 14th, 6:30pmJuxtaposition: A Humorous Happy Hourat Stonewall, New York City

Friday, March 18th, 8pmLesbian Sex Mafia presents: Hands-On Rope Body Harness Workshop with Midori. Body harnesses are fantastic for creating beautiful, effective, and sexy bondage for all types of bodies and many different sorts of scenes. You can use a harness for very secure rigging. Or you can make a pretty rope outfit. Create intense harnesses for pain sluts. How about sensual breast bondage? Well go through at least three different harnesses with plenty of time to practice. LSM member: $5; Non-members $10at The LGBT Center, 208 W 13th St, New York City

That’s it for now; new events will be added as dates are announced. Hope to see you out & about in the queer, trans, and literary world in New York.

What A Lovely Way to Burn: Spring Fever at Sideshow

It isn’t quite spring here yet, but it’s getting close. The light is changing. The snow has been mostly washed away by the recent rains. I’m hoping by next week the light will be even higher in the sky and full-on spring fever will have sprung, just in time for this month’s Sideshow theme.

The sad news is that Fran Varian can’t make it up from Durham this time, but rest assured! She will be here to perform her kickass work another time. Meanwhile, you can learn more about Lyme disease and help heal Fran over at her website, and you can buy some of her books if you were dying to hear her work (and I know you were).

While Fran is a fan of the Peggy Lee version, I am really into Elvis lately, so here’s a little something to get you in the mood …

Join us at Sideshow on March 8th with readers Arianne Benford, Beth Greenfield, Genne Murphy, and LOVE the Poet.

Sideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival – Spring Fever
Hosted by Cheryl B. & Sinclair Sexsmith
Tuesday, March 8th @ The Phoenix
447 East 13th Street @ Avenue A
Doors, 7:30pm. Reading, 8pm
Free! (We’ll pass the hat for the readers)
RSVP on Facebook
See the bios for the readers.

“It’s All Butch” 2011 Calendar

Photographer Debbie Boud has put together a 2011 calendar featuring butch pin-up photos, It’s All Butch.

Says Debbie:

“The It’s all Butch calendar came about from a blog on myspace a friend of mine did about Butch women from the L word and how sexy they were. I thought to myself that most of the women on the L word were not lesbians so I decided to create a venue that showed that Butch Lesbian women could be just as sexy as the femme women. The idea was to create a diverse array of Butch women. In 2010 Maria is 68 yrs old and was a professional roller derby gal in the 70s. In 2011 Torie is 17 yrs old. There are thin Butches, big Daddy Butches, and FTM [folks].”

She sent on some shots to show off here.

More information is available at cabelgalshideout.com, including bios and personal profiles of the models.

Boston & Syracuse This Week!

I’m off tomorrow to Boston for two workshops—Cock Confidence and Afternoon Delight—until Wednesday, then Friday I’m heading upstate to Syracuse, New York, to do a Radical Masculinity workshop.

I’ve been updating the details in that “What’s Happening in February” post that’s been at the top of the Sugarbutch feed since earlier this month … Has that been useful for you folks, or do you find it annoying? It’s a new thing I’m trying.

Hope you can join me at one of these workshops! Here’s the details:

Cock Confidence: Strap-On 101 Workshop at Good Vibes in Boston

Tuesday, February 22nd, 8pm
Good Vibrations, 308A Harvard Street in Brookline, MA

Many of us have experience with strapping on, packing, and playing, but there are lots of new products out there on the market that might be exciting and that you haven’t encountered yet. Plus, she’ll delve into some cock confidence, getting into the psychology of penetration, and discussing what it’s like to shoot from the hip.

(Thanks to Syd London for the great photo!)


Cock Confidence at Butch Voices NYC (photo by Syd London)

Afternoon Delight: A workshop on sex toys and getting what you want in bed at Harvard in Boston

Wednesday, February 23nd
8-10pm
Ticknor Lounge in Boylston Hall (right by Mass Ave)
Harvard, Boston, MA

Produced by Girlspot, the queer women’s group at Harvard. We’ll explore how to turn up the heat on our sex lives, what gender expression and performance has to do with sexuality, and all the fun tools we can use in the bedroom—from vibrators to strap ons to butt toys to light bondage and sensation. Includes a sex toy giveaway! Open to the public.

Radical & Responsible Gender Masculinity, Misogyny, and Feminisms at Syracuse, NY

Saturday, February 26th, 1-4pm
Syracuse University
Hall of Languages 102
Syracuse, NY

Academics break down and deconstruct gender. How do we build it back up radically and responsibly? How does one adapt masculinity or femininity “positively?” How do we become responsible about gender? How do we continue to break down the gender role restrictions that are hurtful and traumatizing? How can queer communities and spaces be improved by gender reflection? Open to the public; RSVP to Lauren Hannahs at [email protected]

What Workshops Would You Like To See Me Teach?

My spring schedule is coming together, I’ve been talking to maybe a dozen different places and continuing to keep up my contacts as I plan to visit various cities this spring. I’m hoping that even if some of them don’t work out right away, perhaps they’ll work out in the future and I can come visit in the fall or next year.

I’ve got a pretty long workshop list right now, and while my most popular workshops continue to be Fucking With Gender, Radical & Responsible Gender, and Cock Confidence: Strap-On 101, I’m interested in continuing to develop other workshops that will be appealing. Someone just mentioned she’d like to go to a Daddy/girl workshop about the continuum of the dynamic from the bedroom to living that lifestyle 24/7. That’d be fascinating (I’d attend that workshop certainly). And another friend of mine just asked if I do anything for teens, which prompted me to start thinking about a How To Survive High School workshop for Queers, Freaks, and Gender Outlaws. Working on that one, too.

Point is, sometimes other people see workshops that I don’t necessarily see. So while I’m updating my workshop list for 2011 and thinking about other things I could start thinking about and developing, do you have any ideas for me of what workshops I could add to my repertoire? What would you love to see me teach? What do you wish I would come to your town and lead at your local college, community center, or sex toy shop?

I don’t have my spring schedule finalized yet, but I’m keeping it updated at mrsexsmith.com/appearances and in the What’s Happening in February post at the top of Sugarbutch.net (until March 1st, anyway, where I’ll replace it with a What’s Happening in March post instead).

If you’d like to bring me to your town for a workshop, I would love to go! Or perhaps I’m already coming to your town, and can do an add-on workshop with your group? You can email me directly, mrsexsmith(at)gmail.com, or you can contact my booking company PhinLi.

But, in the meantime, I would love to hear any ideas you have about what you’d like to see me teach. And thank you, it is helpful!

Butch Lab Symposium #2: Call for Participation

Hey, writers and folks interested in gender!

The next Butch Lab Symposium topic has been decided, after much deliberation, and posted.

WHAT IS THE BUTCH LAB SYMPOSIUM?

The Symposium is a cross between a blog carnival and a round-up, where participants write about a monthly topic and submit links to Butch Lab which are then recounted. Participants are requested to a) link to the Butch Lab Symposium in their post, b) reprint the roundup on their own blogs within five days, and c) commenting on the other participants’ entries would be an added bonus (let’s support each other eh?).

You do not need to be butch to participate, anyone is welcome to discuss their opinion.

The topic for the second Butch Lab Symposium is Butch Stereotypes, Cliches, and Misconceptions.

Here’s the writing prompt:

What do people think “butch” means? What are the stereotypes around being butch? What do people assume is true about you [or the masculine of center folks in your life], but actually isn’t? What image or concept do you constantly have to correct or fight against? How do you feel about these misconceptions? How do you deal with them? Do you respond to these stereotypes or cliches? How?

To participate, write about this topic in some form on your own website and email the link to butchlabproject (at) gmail.com before March 1, 2011. The full roundup will be released mid-March.

What’s Happening in February

Events! Here’s what’s going on in February, exciting New York City events that aren’t mine but that I highly recommend and my own events in both New York and elsewhere. Come on out and support queers and sex activists doing exciting, entertaining stuff.

Events with Mr. Sexsmith

Tuesday, February 8th, 8pmSideshow: The Queer Literary Carnival: Achilles Heel featuring Melissa Gira Grant, Rohin Guha, Aimee Herman, and Christa Orthat The Phoenix, 447 East 13th Street at Avenue A in New York City

Tuesday, February 22nd, 8pmCock Confidence: Strap-On 101 Workshop: Many of us have experience with strapping on, packing, and playing, but there are lots of new products out there on the market that might be exciting and that you haven’t encountered yet. Plus, she’ll delve into some cock confidence, getting into the psychology of penetration, and discussing what it’s like to shoot from the hip.Good Vibrations, 308A Harvard Street in Brookline, MA

Wednesday, February 23nd
8-10pm
Afternoon Delight: A workshop on sex toys and getting what you want in bed with Girlspot, the queer women’s group at Harvard. We’ll explore how to turn up the heat on our sex lives, what gender expression and performance has to do with sexuality, and all the fun tools we can use in the bedroom—from vibrators to strap ons to butt toys to light bondage and sensation. Includes a sex toy giveaway! Open to the public.Harvard, Boston, MA
Ticknor Lounge in Boylston Hall (right by Mass Ave) for 8-10PM

Saturday, February 26th
1-4pm
Radical & Responsible Gender Masculinity, Misogyny, and Feminisms: Academics break down and deconstruct gender. How do we build it back up radically and responsibly? How does one adapt masculinity or femininity “positively?” How do we become responsible about gender? How do we continue to break down the gender role restrictions that are hurtful and traumatizing? How can queer communities and spaces be improved by gender reflection? Open to the public; RSVP to Lauren Hannahs at [email protected]Syracuse University
Hall of Languages 102 Syracuse, NY

I’m still booking spring events! Would you like to bring me to your college or local queer center or somewhere else? Check out what kind of workshops I offer, and get in touch with me or my booking company, PhinLi.

This post will be updated with any new events added and further details, as I get ’em, and it’ll stay at the top of the blog until the March event schedule is posted. RSS readers probably won’t notice the difference, but if you’re reading here on the site, scroll down for the updates.

Heavenly Spire

Yes, this is a bit of an advertisement for queer porn director Shine Louise Houston’s newest project Heavenly Spire, but it’s also a commentary on masculinity in porn.

I’m sure I don’t have to work too hard to convince you that for as many limited, limiting, stereotypical, heterosexist notions in porn that exist for women, there are just as many that exist for men. Men are portrayed as the domineering, dominant, in charge, virile, muscular, top character in virtually every way in the porn industry, a depiction that hurts and polices the vast range of male sexualities—just as depicting women as the receptive, passive counterparts is hurtful to women.

And while there is a huge world of queer porn out there, most of the ethical, thoughtful, gender-aware is trans or female, and there hasn’t been many explorations of masculinity through video and porn.

Until now!

Here’s some wording from the official press release of Houston’s beautiful Heavenly Spire project:

After making a name for herself directing beautifully shot dyke/queer porn, Feminist Porn Awards’ Visionary Director Shine Louise Houston has turned her sharp eye to the gays.

Vivid-Ed director Tristan Taormino touts Houston as “one of the most influential, groundbreaking and talented queer filmmakers of this century.” Advocating that women watch gay porn, Taormino enthusiastically took note of the new site, commenting: “It features a group of ethnically-diverse models and couples, genuine chemistry, and Houston’s signature stunning cinematography.”

By dedicating the site to masculine beauty and sexuality and how it manifests on different bodies, Shine Louise Houston pushes the boundaries of a new visibility in gay porn: HeavenlySpire.com equally casts queer males as it does transsexual men. This inclusion is a rarity in gay male pornography.

Models share an intimate interview where they disclose their personal fantasies, describe their sexuality, turn-ons, and what they physically like about themselves and one another.

While partially inspired by her love for gay male porn, Houston’s vision for HeavenlySpire.com came mainly from within. Says Houston, “Heavenly Spire is a personal project for me. Accepting my own masculinity has really allowed me to feel okay with desire for masculine people. Exploring it on the site really looks at male bodies the way I want to.”

It sounds all smart when described like that, huh? And yes sure, of course it is smart, it is intentional and thoughtful and the filming is just fucking beautiful. But let’s not forget that it’s also way hot.

Sometimes as a dyke I am a little hesitant to recommend porn with cisgender men in it, as I can frequently get the “ick factor” reaction from other dykes: “Ew.” But as someone who is increasingly cock-centric, and, I’ll admit, sometimes a bit fascinated to the point of fetishizing cocks, I have got to say that this site is not just thoughtful and beautiful but also fucking hot.

So thank you, Heavenly Spire, for being a sponsor of Butch Lab, and for bringing new and exciting visions of masculinity and a masculine sexuality into the porn world. I can’t wait for the DVD.

Elisha Lim’s Queer Love Cards

Artist Elisha Lim is now also selling Queer Love Cards at their Etsy shop.

Says Elisha: “The cards are about a queer way of being in love, with things like butches saying “Hey Handsome,” transfags saying “Hey Beautiful,” and genderqueers saying “Hayy” and “I Like Your Cardigan.””

Just in time for Valentine’s Day! I’m sure I can think of a few people I could send these lovely cards to … Etsy.com/shop/elishalim

See also: Elisha Lim’s 2011 Illustrated Gentleman calendar and their Mini-Interview with Butch Lab.

They also sent along a couple images to show off here on Butch Lab! Enjoy: