‘Owning Your Birthday Suit’ Workshop in Seattle This Thursday
Posted on February 14, 2012 in events | 2 Comments
Butcher & I are teaching an embodiment workshop in Seattle this week particularly geared toward kinksters. It’s a great introduction to some of the embodied sexuality and sacred sexuality work that I’ve done with the Body Electric School for many years, and plus it’s just a fascinating experiment. Perhaps I’ll see you there?

Photo by Shilo McCabe (but we’re not actually as serious or mean as we look)
Owning Your Birthday Suit: Embodiment for Kinksters, Freaks, and Other Sexual Mathletes
with Sugarbutch & Butcher
The Center for Sex Positive Culture Annex
1602 15th Ave W., Seattle, WA
7:00pm, $20.
RSVP on Facebook
Kinky, poly, leather, sex-positive, and other outlaw folks often find it easy to explore sex, but it might still be hard to be present in our bodies, to feel the powerful connection between genitals, heart, and mind. Explore a variety of playful experiential exercises to increase embodiment while respecting stone sexualities and everyone’s boundaries. Learn some simple tools to feel erotic energy, build connection to your desires, and feel more alive and at home in your body. Experience the taboo power of sharing this exploration within community. These exercises are clothes-on and touch optional. Amy Butcher and Sinclair Sexsmith met at a tantra retreat three years ago and have worked together for deeper embodiment and gender liberation ever since. They both study erotic energy and write smut.
Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica is Coming To Your Town … Spring Tour 2012
Posted on February 10, 2012 in events, things Sinclair created | 3 Comments

It’s happening! Say Please readings and bookings have begun. So far, I have two dates:
April 12 – New York City at Bluestockings
April 22 – Boston, venue TBA
And a few more in progress, to be scheduled ASAP:
March 27 or April 1 – San Francisco
May 1/2 – Portland
May 3/7 – Seattle
I still don’t have dates for these, but I want to make it here in April/May:
Chicago
Durham, NC
Atlanta
If you’re interested in reading or helping me to create a reading in your city, please let me know ASAP! The easiest way for me to ensure that I can make it (especially to those three cities I have yet to book) is to get a gig at a college which can actually pay me. If you’ve got any contacts in these cities, please let me know.
What’s Happening In February
Posted on February 9, 2012 in events | 2 Comments
Everything.
Everything is happening in February. I hope you are excited to come out and see me, because I am going to be everywhere doing all the readings and workshops!
Events with Mr. Sexsmith
| Friday to Sunday, February 3-5 | Celebrating the Body Erotic for Women through the Body Electric School. Did you know that “cunt” means “holy well”? | New York City. Contact me at northeast@b-e-school.com for more information. |
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| Wednesday, February 8, show at 7pm | The Inspired Word performance series is excited to present a new event that will become a regular part of our calendar, Queer Apple: NYC GLBT Life in Poetry & Prose, featuring some of this city’s best GLBT writers/performers – Sinclair Sexsmith, Christa Orth, Ocean Vuong, Samantha Barrow, Kestryl Cael Lowery, Kelli Dunham, Brandon Lacy Campos, and Jessica Halem . In addition, there will be a 12-slot open mic (4 minutes each slot) to bring your own GLBT experience to the party. Must be GLBT themed. A night of transcendence of words through narrative, poetry, and humor. Hosted by Aimee Herman . Doors open for sign-up @ 6:30pm Show starts @ 7pm Cover Charge: $10 Read more here! | 116 (formerly The Gaslight Cafe) 116 MacDougal Street (between Bleecker Street and Minetta Lane) Downstairs Lounge Manhattan, NY 10012 (212) 254-9996 (917) 703-1512 By subway, take the A, B, C, D, E, F to West 4th Street-Washington Square |
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| Thursday, February 9, 7:30pm | Find a Valentine at the Best Erotica Reading! Celebrate |
Bluestockings Bookstore, 172 Allen Street, New York, NY 10002, Lower East Side |
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| Monday, February 13, 7:30pm | workshop at Columbia University! I think it’s Fucking With Gender | Columbia University, upstate Manhattan, NY |
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| Thursday, February 16, 7pm | Owning Your Birthday Suit: Embodiment for Better Sex Sugarbutch & Butcher are at it again! Join us for this introductory workshop about embodiment. Kinky, poly, leather, sex-positive, and other outlaw folks often find it easy to explore sex, but it might still be hard to be present in our bodies, to feel the powerful connection between genitals, heart, and mind. Explore a variety of playful experiential exercises to increase embodiment while respecting stone sexualities and everyone’s boundaries. Learn some simple tools to feel erotic energy, build connection to your desires, and feel more alive and at home in your body. Experience the taboo power of sharing this exploration within community.
This workshop will be with clothing on, touch optional. $20 at the door. RSVP on Facebook. Event details. Amy Butcher and Sinclair Sexsmith met at a tantra retreat three years ago and have worked together for deeper embodiment and gender liberation ever since. They both study erotic energy and write smut. |
The Center for Sex Positive Culture Annex Seattle, WA |
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| February 23, 7pm | American University workshop … I think it’s Fucking With Gender again | Washington, DC |
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| February 28 & March 1 | Workshop & Panel at Smith College! | Northampton, MA |
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Events in New York City (& Beyond) You Shouldn’t Miss
| Saturday, February 11th, 7-11pm | BOXERS OFF! An Evening of Butch Burlesque–February Love Edition. Boxers Off! An Evening of Butch Burlesque invites you to join us as we explore representations of butch identity in a bold, new, sexy way. Lea Robinson emcees this evening of HOT burlesque from some of New York City’s finest performers! Who wouldn’t want to spend Valentine’s Day weekend with L Boogie and a few hot butches? Performers include the sexiness of Goldie Peacock, Drae Campbell/Miss Lez 2010, Elizabeth Whitney as Tricia Clayton Biltmore, Victoria Libertore as Liza, Ariel Speedwagon, Luscious Von Dykester, and Daddy T.Y.E.! Anna Charlotte will be here all the way from New Orleans to burn your britches! Stage Kittens for the evening will be Best Bites and Tom Cruiser. Join us for raffle fun, signature drinks, red light/green light, love advice, and of course your host L Boogie! A portion of the night’s proceeds will go to FIERCE, an organization building the leadership and power of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) youth of color in New York City! | Stonewall Inn, New York City. Admission $10 |
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| Friday, February 17, 8pm | Lesbian Sex Mafia: The Fine Art of Dirty Talk with Amy Jo Goddard Feeling shy about talking dirty? Have a lover who wishes you would, but you sometimes clam up or struggle with obstacles to saying those sweet nasty things? Wish you could open the door to dirty words without shame? This workshop will be a fun exploration of dirty talk, why we like it, what we want from it and how to incorporate it with partners and make our scenes hotter. There is no one size fits all, so you’ll explore and practice what feels good for you, how to find common ground with your partners, and walk away with a bigger dirty vocabulary. Attendees can decide how much to participate but it will be guaranteed fun! C’mon’ say it like you mean it! | LGBT Center, 208 West 13th St. (7th/8th Ave), Manhattan, NY |
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| Saturday, February 25th, 10pm | Submit Party, submitparty.com, a BDSM play party for women and trans folks only. $15 before midnight, $20 after | Brooklyn, NY. For exact location call 718.789.4053 or email Red@submitparty.com |
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| Thursday, March 1, 8pm | Red Umbrella Diaries, www.redumbrelladiaries.com | Happy Ending, 302 Broome Street between Forsyth and Eldridge, Manhattan, NY |
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| Saturday, March 3, 7pm | Queer Memoir: Leather. New York’s only queer storytelling event is back with a special guest curator, Sassafras Lowrey, editor of the Kicked Out anthology and nationally known storyteller. This Leather themed storytelling evening is a benefit for Boston’s Write Here Write Now founded by Toni Amato. Announcing the amazing line-up of storytellers: Sinclair Sexsmith, Emily Millay-Haddad, Kelli Dunham, Ignacio Rivera, Sara Vibes, on Facebook. | Queers For Economic Justice, 147 W. 24th St., 4th Floor, New York, NY 10011 |
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I’m booking gigs for the spring (February through May), and I’m aiming for Boston, Chicago, Atlanta, Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Durham, DC, and more. Want to bring me to your college or university or local bookstore or sex toy shop? I’d love to visit! Things that are important to know!
- My schedule is kept up on mrsexsmith.com/appearances
- If you’re interested in bringing me to your town or college, check out what S. Bear Bergman wrote: Bear’s Guide to Getting the Artists You Want. It’s got some great tips for how to fundraise and make an offer to bring the people you admire to come do some custom work just for you & your friends. (Hint, hint.)
- Download my 2011 workshop offerings in a PDF or my one sheet PDF or high res photos in my press kit
- Get in touch if you’re interested in booking me, you can contact me directly—mrsexsmith(at)gmail—or my booking company, PhinLi, at bookings(at)phinli.com.
Any events I missed? Add ‘em in the comments.
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Oh Hi! I’m Reading in NYC This Week
Posted on February 8, 2012 in events | 3 Comments
Hello Internet! I’m still here. I posted very little in January because I spent most of that month working on the Celebrating the Body Erotic for women workshop which happened this last week in New York City. It was beautiful and moving and intense and heart-wrenching and I might’ve seen a vision while we were doing one of the breathing exercises and it went incredibly well and I’m glad it’s over. It was very time consuming.
And now I’m gearing up for basically a full month of travel. It’ll probably mean I’m posting less this month, too. In fact, I’ve been so busy that I can’t even seem to finish the February calendar to post here! I have a lot of gigs this month—Columbia University in NYC, American in DC, Smith College in Northampton, the Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle—and I’m looking forward to them. I’ve been home since early December and I’m starting to get stir-crazy. I like that this little life I’ve been working on takes me other places. I love New York City (is that the first time I’ve said that? Possibly) but I can’t be here all the time. I start to feel so disconnected from the planet.
But I’m still kind of recovering from the workshop. All that energy work takes it out of me. Today, all I’d like to do is eat some dahl with spicy pickled mangoes and watch documentaries on the couch. I’ve given myself the last two days off, basically, to recover, and today it’s Back To Work time.
This week, before I go off to my travels, I’m doing two big readings in New York City. I haven’t really read poetry since Sideshow ended, and while I don’t have a ton of new poems to share, I am digging through my pieces and excited to get up and practice opening my heart on stage for a while. I love the Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 book so I’m looking forward to hearing more of those pieces out loud, and listening to some of the boys from Best Gay Erotica 2012 too. Plus, there will be a singles mixer! Come find a Valentine’s date.
I can’t seem to decide what to read tonight at the Queer Apple/Inspired Word event … I still have a few hours, so I’m gathering up the options. Looking over the poetry I’ve published here, there is certainly not too much that is recent. But I don’t mind dusting off some old pieces. Probably I’ll read the Butch Poem. Probably I’ll read The Right One. I’m not sure what else. Any requests?
Queer Apple: NYC GLBT Life in Poetry & Prose + Open Mic
The Inspired Word performance series is excited to present a new event that will become a regular part of our calendar, Queer Apple: NYC GLBT Life in Poetry & Prose, featuring some of this city’s best GLBT writers/performers – Sinclair Sexsmith, Christa Orth, Ocean Vuong, Samantha Barrow, Kestryl Cael Lowery, Kelli Dunham, Brandon Lacy Campos, and Jessica Halem. In addition, there will be a 12-slot open mic (4 minutes each slot) to bring your own GLBT experience to the party. Must be GLBT themed. A night of transcendence of words through narrative, poetry, and humor, hosted by Aimee Herman.
When: Wednesday, Feb. 8, 2012
Where: 116 (formerly The Gaslight Cafe)
116 MacDougal Street
(between Bleecker Street and Minetta Lane)
Downstairs Lounge
Manhattan, NY 10012
(212) 254-9996
(917) 703-1512
By subway, take the A, B, C, D, E, F to West 4th Street-Washington Square.
Doors open for sign-up @ 6:30pm
Show starts @ 7pm
Cover Charge: $10
RSVP on Facebook
Find a Valentine at the Best Erotica Reading

Need a valentine? Wear a heart if you’re single! Come hear some hot smut! Readers include: D.L. King, Ali Oh, Julia Noel Goldman, Anne Grip, James Earl Hardy and Greg Norris! More to come (so to speak).
7pm at Bluestockings Bookstore, Café, & Activist Center
172 Allen Street, New York, NY 10002
Lower East Side
RSVP on Facebook
In Best Lesbian Erotica 2012, women are looking for a little bit of everything: love, lust, and that special someone who brings both to bed. Lammy-nominated editor Kathleen Warnock and this year’s guest judge, acclaimed sex blogger Sinclair Sexsmith, have curated a collection that is waiting to lay bare your deepest desires. Best Gay Erotica 2012 captures the tension and raw energy of man-on-man desire in this collection of the hottest, freshest and most literary erotic fiction of the year. Editor Richard Labonté (and guest judge Larry Duplechan) share their tricks of the trade in this outstanding volume of craftsmanship and cockmanship.
Based in New York City, KATHLEEN WARNOCK is a playwright and editor whose work has appeared in several editions of Best Lesbian Erotica.
SINCLAIR SEXSMITH (mrsexsmith.com) runs the award-winning project Sugarbutch Chronicles at sugarbutch.net. Her work appears in Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme and Take Me There: Transgender and Genderqueer Erotica, among others. She is the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica.
What They Are Asking: A New Site for Sex Education
Posted on February 8, 2012 in PSA | 2 Comments
Megan Andelloux, who runs the Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health in Pawtucket, RI, and is one of my favorite sex educators, just launched a new project called What They Are Asking which features questions from students to sex educators, and some answers, too.
My “ask me anything” questions on Sugarbutch and advice column on SexIs Magazine has received quite a bit of feedback, so I know that y’all out there are looking for good, solid sex advice.
This project is a bit more 101 level than the things I usually focus on—butch and femme identity, radical masculinity, feminism and kink, topping and bottoming—but regardless, I’m looking forward to being part of this great selection of educators, which includes Buck Angel and Charlie Glickman, among others.
The press release:
Megan Andelloux, also known as “Oh Megan”, is proud to participate in a new project and website aimed at increasing awareness of the state of sexuality education in the United States, titled “What They Are Asking”. Born out of the experiences of adult sexuality educators, WTAA serves as a collective, community-driven response to the question, “Why do adults need sex education?” WTAA seeks to respond to important questions concerning the necessity of comprehensive sex education and highlights the ways that the United States’ lack of comprehensive sex education in youth leads to sexually misinformed adults.
First and foremost, the “What They Are Asking” web project involves the daily posting of three question cards, each featuring a question submitted anonymously during various adult sex education lectures and workshops throughout the country. These cards represent the vast multitude of concerns, issues, and questions adults have about sex and sexuality. According to Megan Andelloux, founder and director of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health and co-founder of WTAA, “Sharing [these questions] with a wider audience will let these authentic voices demonstrate the importance of our work as sexuality educators and the true need for quality, comprehensive sex education.”
The second component of WTAA is a fun, interactive educational component: viewers of WTAA will be able to vote on the question they would most like answered that week. Once the votes are tallied, a sexuality educator with relevant expertise will write or upload a video in response to the question with the most votes. The WTAA project will feature educators from many different components in the field of human sexuality, with specialties as gender, sexual medicine, relationships, self-esteem, and more.
Sexuality educators involved in “What They Are Asking” hope that this project will eventually go on to be used by policy makers to advocate for comprehensive sex education within both primary and secondary school systems.
Check it out: What They Are Asking.com
Femme Conference Call for Workshops + Bay Area Event Tonight
Posted on January 20, 2012 in events | 3 Comments
Now’s the time to start saving to attend the Femme Conference in Baltimore in August, to start thinking about what event or film or performance or whatever that you might want to bring, and to make it happen. I know traveling is really hard for folks who are far, but (how many times do I have to say this) IT IS WORTH IT.
Make it happen. Invest in yourself.
Attending these identity conferences that have been showing up lately have significantly changed the way I feel about butch and femme identity, have deepened my own relationship to myself and to others, and have deepened my understanding about how these genders work and the work we need to do to elevate our conversations and make gender hurt less in all the ways. If you’re wondering if it’s worth it, I’ll say it again: it’s worth it. It’s worth it, and more. It’s worth being there even though five of your exes will be there. It’s worth going even if you aren’t sure if you identify as femme. It’s worth going if you just love femmes and you aren’t femme yourself but you want to support and learn. It’s worth going if you have to put $50 a month away for the next seven months. It’s worth it.
Also, please submit awesome workshops and performances, because I want to participate in mind-blowing smart queer badass fierce subtle amazing groundbreaking new stuff while I’m there. Please and thank you.
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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
National Call for Submissions & SF Event!
Call for Workshops, Papers, Panels, Films, Performance, and Visual Art
Femme2012: Pulling the Pieces Together
Baltimore, MD
August 17-19, 2012
www.femmecollective.com
Femme2012: Pulling the Pieces Together is a multi-threaded conference and forum for those who think about, talk about, and create Femme as a queer gender and identity.
Following our Femme2006, 2008, and 2010 conferences in San Francisco, Chicago, and Oakland, where hundreds of femmes and allies gathered for workshops, panels, films, visual art galleries, and performances, we again invite femmes of all kinds and their allies to continue the conversation by participating in Femme 2012 as presenters and participants.We are invested in having Femme2012 continue to reflect the diversity and complexity of femme gender, identity, and contributions. We hope for this conference to be a community-building event, as well as an exploration and celebration of what it means to build and live queer femme identities.
Submissions of all kinds are welcome, particularly submissions by Femmes. We are committed to having our presenters reflect as many different voices from within our Femme community(ies) as possible. We aim to prioritize and centralize the experiences of historically marginalized groups, including but not limited to people of color, working-class people, fat folks, trans and gender-non-conforming people, elders, youth, previously incarcerated individuals, people without documentation, and people with dis/abilities. Femme2012 will continue the community dialogues from Femme2006, Femme2008, and Femme2010. In particular, we hope that the intersections of femme with race, region, class, access, dis/ability, privilege, oppression, and marginalization will be talked about, given space, meditated upon, constructed, and deconstructed.
In addition, we encourage submissions based on this year’s theme: Pulling the Pieces Together.
We began this conference in 2006 out of a desire to see femme explored and discussed from a variety of perspectives. We wanted a conference that held the complexities of Queer Femme as its central focus, while building community. Building on the dialogue and momentum of past conferences, in 2012 we hope to explore how femmes pull the pieces together. Through discussion and performance, we hope to explore both our individual and shared journeys to femme and how we honor femme in ourselves and others. How do we arrive at our femme/inine identities? How do we celebrate the joys and challenges along those journeys? Please join us in 2012 as we share our stories of pulling the pieces together.
We hope to draw participants from across disciplinary, medium, and social boundaries. We encourage submissions from anyone interested, regardless of gender or sexual identity. We are interested in solo submissions, as well as groups, panels, and collaborations. We are looking for well-thought-out, well-planned submissions that recognize and respect the array of Queer Femme experience, and we are interested in work that challenges systems of oppression.
We are soliciting contributions from anyone interested, including (but not limited to):
> workshops
> panel presentations
> performances
> research presentations
> skill shares
> activist & organizational topics
> visual art
> video or film (please see below for the film call for submissions)
The submission deadline is April 15, 2012. For information about specific submissions requirements and to submit your proposal, please visit www.femme2012.com.
To learn more about us, to read our mission, and to contact us with any questions, comments or concerns, please find us at www.femme2012.com or on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/groups/femmeconference/.
2012 FEMME FILM FESTIVAL at FEMME2012
In addition, this year the Femme Collective encourages all femmes (regardless of experience) to consider making and submitting a short film to the 2012 Femme Film Festival that will be taking place at Femme2012. We want to challenge you tell your story from *your* eyes. All you need is a camera (even an iPhone is good enough!) and we’ll even help mentor you along the way! It could be narrative-based, documentary, animated or some kind of in-between. How you choose to make it is yours – but the film must be made by a femme (or group of femmes) and about being femme. In order to help you get started, please include one or more of the following prompts in planning your femme-tastic short film:
- What does Femme mean to you?
- How did you come to / learn you were Femme?
- Misconceptions of Femme and how to change them
- Femme Invisibility
- Being Femme because *we* are Femme (and not because our body looks a certain way)
Submissions for the Femme Film Festival must be under 12 minutes in length. The shorter, the better — so we can fit more films into our final program! All film submissions are due July 15, 2012, to give you ample time to finish your film. Do not let your lack of experience stop you from making a film! We will not be judging films based on fancy equipment – we’re looking for honest, brave and real stories about *your* experience of being femme. So break out that iPhone or Flip Camera and start shooting! If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail Ellie (our film chair) at ellieheartbeth@gmail.com.
Attn: Bay Area Femmes & Allies! Special Femme Con Happy Hour at El Rio THIS FRIDAY!
Join us at El Rio this Friday, Jan. 20th, from 4-6pm for a very special Femme 2012 Conference Happy Hour! For every drink ordered at the bar during these two hours, 100% of the proceeds will go directly to funding the conference! Come drink & be merry with friends and loved ones all while supporting the all-volunteer run Femme Collective and the wider Femme community!
Need more incentive? How about free oysters, amazing drink specials, and FREE ADMISSIONS to the Red Hots Burlesque show starting at 7:30pm? Order up your Pink Lady or your Shirley Temple, then watch Dottie Lux, Isis Starr, Ava Lavendar and more shimmy-shake for the Femme Con crowd!
Come on down and support the Femme Conference! It will be the easiest fundraiser you attend all year!
El Rio is located at 3158 Mission Street, San Francisco, CA. – www.elriosf.com
LSM = Awesome BDSM Education for Women & Trans Folks in NYC
Posted on January 19, 2012 in events | No Comments
I’m on the board of the Lesbian Sex Mafia these days as programming co-chair. It’s been really fun to bring in presenters from the queer sex (internet) world, and since it’s more of a leather/old guard kind of group, many of the younger kinky queer educators haven’t taught there before. It’s pretty amazing that it’s been going on since the 1980s and that it’s still running today, and the meetings are a combination of socializing, cruising (let’s be honest), skill building, and community, which I really like. I’ve met some great folks there from attending sporadically over the years, and I’ve learned a ton. They are also incredibly inclusive, and workshops are open to women and trans folks who identify with the lesbian community.
LSM is also seeking new presenters for the 2012 season. More information here or at the bottom of this post.
If I’m in town when the monthly 3rd Friday workshop happens, I always attend. It’s a great thing to do for folks who are coming in from out of town and want to check out the scene in this big city, too. The next one is tomorrow!
January 20th: Negotiation for the Hopelessly Shy and Terribly Awkward with Mollena Williams
Negotiation of scenes can be tough on people who are adept at bargaining, expressing their needs, wants, and desires. so how is this gauntlet to be run by those of us perverts who are super shy or kind of awkward when it comes to saying “I need…” or “I won’t…” or giving the dreaded “No”?? Join Mollena Williams, Closeted Shy Freak ™ as she shares some techniques that can help even the most awkward kinkster battle their own personal hurdles and insure that your needs are met, your expectations expressed more clearly, and that your scenes are satisfying for all parties! Bring your questions (jot ‘em down if you are to shy to ask!) and we’ll brainstorm ways to help you on your own journey to openness, clear communication and awesomeness!
Where: LGBT Center, 208 West 13th St. (7th/8th Ave)
When: Friday, January 20, 2012; 8:00-10:00PM
Cost: LSM Members: $5/Non Members: $10
This “Delicate, Trembling Flower of Submission” © is a NYC born and raised writer, actress, BDSM Educator and Executive Pervert. She is extremely honored, humbled and proud to have served as International Ms Leather 2010. She is also thrilled to have been named Ms. San Francisco Leather 2009 after that contest’s decade long slumber. She’s won Woman of the Year AND Northern California Regional Awards!
With over 12 years of experience in the BDSM and Alternative community she frequently travels nationally, teaching Leather Lifestyle Classes. Her work has been published by the Society Of Janus Newsletter, The Eulenspiegel Society’s magazine, Prometheus, as well as the online magazine at ALT.COM and Bondage.com. She was interviewed for The Bottoming Book, ColorLines Magazine, and the award winning documentary Vice & Consent. She also get all tied up in the instructional video, “Jay Wiseman Teaches Rope Bondage.“ Her essay entitled “BDSM and Race Play” was published in Best Sex Writing 2010.
Her background includes a lifetime of training and involvement in the performing arts, which include spoken word, classical theater, dance, performance art, and all manner of stagecraft.
A founding member of Crowded Fire Theater Company, Mo blogs on http://mollena.com and is the author of the “Toybag Gude: Taboo Play.” Her essays appear in 2 anthologies curated by Rachel Kramer Bussel: ”BDSM and Race Play” appears in “Best Sex Writing 2010,” and “Kiss my Boots” is featured in ”The Lust Chronicles.” Her challenging essay on “race play” is featured in“Spirit of Desire: Personal Journeys in Sacred Kink” edited by Lee Harrington. Not one but two essays commissioned by Tristan Taormino will be appearing in the upcoming book, “The Ultimate Guide to Kinky Sex.” Mollena is pleased and delighted to be a featured educator with The Kink Academy, where you can see clips of her speaking on various and sundry topics!
February 17: The Fine Art of Dirty Talk with Amy Jo Goddard
Feeling shy about talking dirty? Have a lover who wishes you would, but you sometimes clam up or struggle with obstacles to saying those sweet nasty things? Wish you could open the door to dirty words without shame? This workshop will be a fun exploration of dirty talk, why we like it, what we want from it and how to incorporate it with partners and make our scenes hotter. There is no one size fits all, so you’ll explore and practice what feels good for you, how to find common ground with your partners, and walk away with a bigger dirty vocabulary. Attendees can decide how much to participate but it will be guaranteed fun! C’mon’ say it like you mean it!
When: Friday, January 17, 2012; 8:00-10:00PM
Cost: LSM Members: $5/Non Members: $10
About Amy Jo Goddard
Amy Jo Goddard dedicates her life’s endeavors to helping people explore and improve their sexual lives. She has written and produced her plays about the vulva and dominatrixes, she has hosted web programs on women’s sexuality, she has taught first graders to college students about sexuality, and has been featured in Betty Dodson videos. A professional trainer of sexuality professionals, medical students, college students and youth for fifteen years, she has taught courses relating to sexuality at the City University of New York and the University of California at Santa Barbara and has presented internationally at conferences and kink community events like Dark Odyssey. She launched her intensive program for women in 2010, the Women’s Sexually Empowered Life program. She is co-author of Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men and her article about queer performance artists and activism was published in 2007 in the Social Justice Journal. She is director/producer of the forthcoming documentary, At Your Cervix. Amy Jo maintains a private sex & relationship coaching practice and travels to colleges and universities speaking about sexuality. She was chosen by GO! Magazine as one of “100 Women We Love” in 2010. She can be found online at www.amyjogoddard.com.
Call for Presenters
Please circulate widely!
Do you have a kinky skill you’d like to share, a BDSM concept you’d like to teach, or a great idea for a leather panel you’d like to organize and speak on? The Lesbian Sex Mafia in New York City, the oldest continuously running women’s BDSM support and education groups in the country, is actively seeking women & trans folks who are identified with the lesbian community to present for our 2012 workshop calendar. Past topics have included piercing and stapling, M/s and D/s relationships, fisting, sensation play, takedowns, single tails, and more.
We meet monthly on the 3rd Friday at the LGBT Community Center in NYC and would gladly include out of town presenters who will be in town on that date.
If you’d like to present for LSM, simply download the Presenter Guidelines which includes information about the program evening schedule and our modest compensation, and fill out the online Presentation Proposal form.
About the Lesbian Sex Mafia
LSM is a support and information group for all women 18 years of age or older, including transexual and intersexed women who live their daily lives as women and all female born transgender people who feel they have a connection with and respect for the women’s community, and who are interested in fantasy and role playing, bondage, discipline, S/M, fetishes, costumes, alternate gender identities and uninhibited sexual expression in a safe, sane, consensual and confidential way. We are not a social service agency; however, we are interested in providing information, encouragement and general support. Our principles are few but basic: confidentiality, consensuality, safety and the right of women to explore their sexuality as they choose. lesbiansexmafia.org for more information.
Free Alpha Femmes #pornparty Tomorrow! And You’re Invited
Posted on January 15, 2012 in events | 5 Comments
Y’all didn’t forget about the #pornparty tomorrow, did you?
All of you folks who are going, “I WISH!” right now, well—you CAN. This isn’t an in-person event in New York City, this event is virtual, happening online. All you need is a net connection and some time to yourself (or, some friends or roommates who are into watching queer porn.)
It’s a worldwide gathering on Twitter of folks who like queer porn. I pick a porn for us to all watch together, then we all log on at 6pm PST / 9pm EST, press play at precisely that time, and follow the hashtag #pornparty while we watch the film for commentary and discussion. If you want to join in, make sure you have your own Twitter account, too, and tag your posts with the hashtag so we’ll all see them.
NOTE! If your Twitter account is private, we won’t be able to see your #pornparty tweets show up under the hashtag. If you want to join in on the conversation (hope you do!), you may have to unprotect your Twitter account.

Tomorrow night, we’ll be watching Alpha Femmes through Hot Movies For Her, and viewing this film is completely free. You don’t have to buy it or download it or purchase VOD minutes to watch it with us. You will need a HotMoviesForHer.com account (which requires a credit card for verification purposes), and simply use the code “AlphaFemmes” (which IS case sensitive) when you sign up and you’ll receive 90 minutes free to watch with us! Those 90 minutes will expire Tuesday morning, so watch ‘em quick!
So all you have to do is:
1. Make a HotMoviesForHer.com account, if you don’t have one
2. Use the code “AlphaFemmes” to get 90 free minutes
3. Tune in tomorrow night! January 16th at 6pm PST, 9pm EST
4. Enjoy the film with us
5. Follow & contribute to the Twitter discussion with the hashtag #pornparty
You can also follow me (@mrsexsmith) as well as some of the porn stars in the film, like @fatty_d, @sydblakovich, @jizlee, @playwithpuck, @girlvert, @sarahleesinful, @akiraraine, @cadencestjohn, Alpha Femme’s director & producer @annadevia, and of course our fabulous #pornparty host, @hotmovies4her on Twitter.
Anna Devia is giving away 5 signed copies of the Alpha Femmes DVD at 6pm—right when we start the #pornparty—on Twitter, so go on over to her Twitter account and follow her or RT her to enter to win one of them.
So, are you game? Who’s in?
I’m planning to do more of these this year, so: are there any other queer porn films you’re dying to see? I will take requests.
eLust #32 includes my story “The Pink Dress”
Posted on January 15, 2012 in miscellany | No Comments
Welcome to e[lust], the sex blog round-up- The best posts from the hottest and smartest sex bloggers all in one place! This edition highlights topics such as libido, fake orgasms, teenage lust, voyeurism, BDSM consent and so much more. Want to be included in e[lust] #33? Start with the rules, come back in February to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
The Top Three Posts
Assent Matters by SherynB – Find your emotional power to recognize and say “no” to what you don’t want BEFORE you get naked and tied up and give up your actual physical power to walk away to anybody.
Forever The Night – ‘Why the hell shouldn’t I listen? This is my home, my bedroom after all’. So I do listen and I do feel myself twitch at every minute sound on the other side of that fucking wall.
Hands. Fingers. Pleasure. – This was the first time a boy’s fingers had such unfettered access to my pussy. Prior gropings under and through clothes had never been like this.
e[lust] Editress
The Fake Orgasm: You think you know, but you have no idea – I am 34 and I have faked orgasms. There ya have it. But I have never and will never qualify doing so as “I did it for him”.
Featured Post (Picked by Lilly)
Sadie Says… Awake – In the haze of my missing libido I also lost myself. I began to wonder if I remembered who the hell I was?
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
What’s Happening in January
Posted on January 7, 2012 in events | 2 Comments
It’s almost as if I have January off!
I mean I don’t, I am still writing and working and preparing for workshops and etc, but I don’t have ANY gigs of my own—I’m not producing any events or teaching any workshops. Not sure when the last month was where that happened, but it’s been a while!
Oh wait—spoke too soon. There is one. But it’s not in person and it’s porn so that barely counts.
Events with Mr. Sexsmith
| Monday, January 16, 2012 | FREE Porn Party, viewing Alpha Femmes Tune in with the Hotmovies4her.com code and you’ll have enough free minutes to watch along with us on Twitter, using the #pornparty hashtag. More information on Sugarbutch here. | Your living room + on Twitter |
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Events in New York City (& Beyond) You Shouldn’t Miss
| Saturday, January 14, 8pm | Queer Memoir: Pets. New York’s only queer storytelling event is back with a special guest curator, the amazing Sassafras Lowrey, editor of the Kicked Out anthology and nationally known storyteller. Announcing the amazing line-up of storytellers: Jessica Pabón, Julie Blair, Colten, Kelli Dunham, allisonjoy, & Sassafras Lowrey | Queers For Economic Justice, 147 W. 24th St., 4th Floor, New York, NY 10011 |
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| Saturday January 15, 12noon-late | Beyond Visibility: Illuminating and Aligning Femmes in NYC will be a day-long event for queer folks on a self-identified femme/inine spectrum to come together in conversation, coalition, and celebration of *all* the parts of ourselves and our many communities. We aim to illuminate the cultural, political and artistic work of all participating individuals and groups; to create and hold space to ally with and learn from each other; and discuss ways to align organizing to ensure that femme communities grow as generative, intersectional sites of gender justice.
Facebook events for: |
Judson Memorial Church , 239 Thompson St (directly below Washington Square Park), New York, NY & other venues (check the Facebook invites) |
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| Friday, January 20, 8pm | Lesbian Sex Mafia: Negotiation for the Hopelessly Shy and Terribly Awkward with Mollena Williams. Negotiation of scenes can be tough on people who are adept at bargaining, expressing their needs, wants, and desires. so how is this gauntlet to be run by those of us perverts who are super shy or kind of awkward when it comes to saying “I need…” or “I won’t…” or giving the dreaded “No”??Join Mollena Williams, Closeted Shy Freak ™ as she shares some techniques that can help even the most awkward kinkster battle their own personal hurdles and insure that your needs are met, your expectations expressed more clearly, and that your scenes are satisfying for all parties! Bring your questions (jot ‘em down if you are to shy to ask!) and we’ll brainstorm ways to help you on your own journey to openness, clear communication and awesomeness! | LGBT Center, 208 West 13th St. (7th/8th Ave), Manhattan, NY |
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| Saturday, January 21, 2-7pm IN TORONTO | The Sex Talk Series presents: No More Apologies: Queer Trans and Cis* Women, Coming/Cumming Together! A FREE conference about social exclusion, sex, and sexual health. No More Apologies is a day-long sex talk, designed to name and address the exclusion of queer trans women from broader queer women’s sexual communities.
Social exclusion negatively impacts trans queer women’s sexual, emotional, and psychological health; meanwhile, by excluding trans women from our communities, cis queer women are missing out on a multitude of sexy, wonderful women to love, fuck, and connect with. Join us for this long overdue conversation and call-to-action about how to transform our talk about trans inclusion into practice. The Facebook event has more information. |
Tranzac Club, 292 Brunswick Ave., Toronto, ON M5S 2M7 |
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| Saturday, January 28th, 10pm | Submit Party, submitparty.com, a BDSM play party for women and trans folks only. $15 before midnight, $20 after | Brooklyn, NY. For exact location call 718.789.4053 or email Red@submitparty.com |
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| Thursday, February 2, 8pm | Red Umbrella Diaries, www.redumbrelladiaries.com | Happy Ending, 302 Broome Street between Forsyth and Eldridge, Manhattan, NY |
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| Friday to Sunday, February 3-5 | Celebrating the Body Erotic for Women through the Body Electric School. Did you know that “cunt” means “holy well”? | New York City. Contact northeast@b-e-school.com for more information. |
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I’m booking gigs for the spring (February through May), and I’m aiming for Boston, Chicago, Atlanta, Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Durham, DC, and more. Want to bring me to your college or university or local bookstore or sex toy shop? I’d love to visit! Things that are important to know!
- My schedule is kept up on mrsexsmith.com/appearances
- If you’re interested in bringing me to your town or college, check out what S. Bear Bergman wrote: Bear’s Guide to Getting the Artists You Want. It’s got some great tips for how to fundraise and make an offer to bring the people you admire to come do some custom work just for you & your friends. (Hint, hint.)
- Download my 2011 workshop offerings in a PDF or my one sheet PDF or high res photos in my press kit
- Get in touch if you’re interested in booking me, you can contact me directly—mrsexsmith(at)gmail—or my booking company, PhinLi, at bookings(at)phinli.com.
Any events I missed? Add ‘em in the comments.
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